Sapphire Artemis: As of October 17, 2005, the full version of this is UP!

Yzak moaned and put a hand to his head. Damn...what had happened last night? He tried to get up, but gave a little cry of pain and fell back down.

"Don't try to move," a voice said calmly. "You're very badly injured."

Yzak froze. He turned towards the sound of the voice—and breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. It was just Dearka. Now for his typical response to a situation like this...

"What the hell are you doing in my room!"

Dearka sweatdropped. "Well, were hurt very badly."

"Can't be that bad!"

"Can't you drop the tough-boy act for at least today! You were stabbed dead-centre in your chest and shoulder!"

"'Tis only flesh wounds!"

"You lie!"

SA: Um...I'll deviate from the Monty Python script now...

"Come on, Yzak! If it weren't for Commander Krueze alerting us to your condition, you would've died! You've been here for a while, drifting between unconsciousness and consciousness. The blade that stabbed you was coated with a kind of poison. I—we—almost lost you."

"Krueze!" the words were out of Yzak's mouth before he could stop them. Now he remembered! Krueze...a knife...he had been...

Dearka gave him a strange look. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. Now get the hell out of my room."


The simple, straight-forward reply caught Yzak off guard. "I—"

Dearka came over and sat on Yzak's bedside, staring the platinum blond straight in the eye. "Something else happened. Krueze said that you went crazy and started stabbing yourself. I know better. Something else went wrong. You didn't do this to yourself. Someone else did."

Yzak lowered his head. "Why do you care?"

"Because you're my friend, Yzak."


"You may not think of me that way. But I care for you."


"Yzak, why don't you cry?"

Now, this question caught Yzak off-guard. He wasn't used to Dearka making such personal inquiries. "I...what do you mean?"

"You never cry. Ever. The only emotion you usually show is anger or contempt. Nothing else. scare me, Yzak."

"How can I scare you!" he growled.

"You don't let anyone help you. And I've tried. Many times. But you just shut me—all of us—out. Why?"

Yzak sat there silently. He had never told anyone his past. Especially not the event that had changed him. It may seem minor to them...but he had only been 8...

He shook these thoughts from his head. No. He could not think like this. Ever. If he did, then it would happen again.

"Yzak, I would like to hug you."


"Please. Let me help you. At least, just this once." He hesitated, then added gently, "I...I love you, Yzak Jule."

To Yzak's eternal surprise, he...he did not mind this. "Dearka Elthman..."

That mildly amazed Dearka. He had never heard Yzak call him by his full name. He moved in behind Yzak and gently wrapped his arms around the silver-haired pilot, pulling him in. Yzak turned slightly and buried his head in Dearka's chest.

Dearka found himself stroking the younger boy's stomach. This seemed to sooth him, and Yzak relaxed in Dearka's arms.

"Please tell me..." Dearka whispered. "I want to help..."

Yzak mentally cursed himself. What the hell are you doing, boy? He thought. Why are you letting him hug you? Dammit, you're supposed to be a cold-hearted bastard! And you're supposed to like it!

But oh...being held like this by just seemed...well...right. To feel the older boy caressing his was comforting...for Dearka's body heat to envelop Yzak and whisper sonnets of love and deep affection.


"Why what?"

"Why are you so god-damned nice? Why are you so nice to me? Why do I deserve it? And why does being with you feel so right!" he yelled. He felt tears pulling at his eyes. No! He never cried. Ever!

Dearka was quiet as he thought this over. "I'm being nice to you because I love you. You deserve it because underneath this bastard act, you're really sad and you want help. And it feels right being with me...maybe because...maybe because you love me?"

"I...I can't love! I can't! Every time I do, the one I love gets hurt! Every time! I don't want you to get hurt, Dearka! Dammit, that's the whole reason I let myself get raped!"

The silence hung over the room like a curtain as Yzak realized what he had just said. "Oh my God..."

"You got raped!" Dearka said in disbelief. "Raped for me!"

"Don't get too comfortable with that fact." Yzak muttered. "I might not do it again next—mmph!"

He was cut off as Dearka, taking the initiative, slid a hand around his neck and touched his lips to the younger boy's. Electric fire coursed speedily through Yzak's veins as their lips connected. Though the kiss was chaste, Yzak was slightly panting when Dearka finally pulled away. "Dearka..."

"God, did that...for me?" then, his features hardened. "Who was the bastard that did it?"

"It was...Krueze."



"That fucking bastard..."

"Tell me about it."

Dearka laughed quietly. He looked at Yzak. "So...can you tell me?"


"Tell me what happened when you were younger. What happened to make you like this. I know it was something. Tell me. Please. Don't be afraid."

Yzak closed his eyes. "I...I can't tell you. Not now. I...I just can't. I'm sorry. All I know is...I don't want to see another of my friends die."

"Am I just a friend, Yzak Jule?" the tanned pilot's quiet voice wafted over Yzak. "Or am I more?"

Yzak lowered his head, averting his eyes. Dearka lifted his chin up. "I know it may feel as though I'm rushing you. But I must know. Do not be afraid to tell me—even if you do not feel the same way, I will still be your friend."

Yzak started to say something, then stopped. He looked at Dearka. And made his decision.

He reached up and tenderly pulled the older boy down into a kiss. He said the three words that he thought he'd never say to anyone else ever again. "I love you."

Dearka smiled. He kissed Yzak again, this time slightly harder, tongue gently caressing the younger boy's lips. Yzak moaned and opened his mouth, allowing Dearka's tongue in. The two wet pieces of flesh twisted and intertwined in a sensuous game of tag. When they broke apart, they were both panting.

"Do you want this, Yzak?" Dearka said softly, playing with a strand of Yzak's hair. "Or do you not? We can wait. I'll wait forever. But you should know more than just the pain."

Yzak's eyes were half-closed. He knew what he wanted, but...he couldn't! And the memory of his brutal rape was fresh in his mind. But...but..."Dearka..." he said in an exhaled breath, "I...want you. I want you to take me. Now, before I can think about it."

Dearka needed no second bidding. His mouth showered Yzak's face with kisses as he gently lowered the shorter boy down onto his back on the bed. His fingers fumbled with the buttons of Yzak's shirt, finally vanquishing them and throwing the fabric to the side and removing his own shirt.

Forcing himself to go slow, he moved his lips from Yzak's to the silver-haired boy's ear. He pulled it gently into his mouth, licking it and nibbling at the end. Yzak moaned softly, eyes now fully closed. Dearka gently opened them. "No," he whispered, "I want to see you."

The older pilot straddled the platinum blonde's hips, bending over and inhaling Yzak's scent. He breathed out, and was surprised to see Yzak actually blushing.

"Is my little Yzak blushing?" Dearka murmured, moving up to bury his head in the crook of Yzak's shoulder. "Why?"

"I...I don't deserve this...Dearka...I've never..."

Dearka guessed the rest of the boy's sentence, and gently touched a finger to Yzak's lips. "Hush, my love. You don't need to be worried. One word from you, and I'll stop. I promise, Yzak-chan."

His use of the affectionate suffix brought unexpected tears to Yzak's eyes. He reached up and tangled his hands gently in Dearka's blonde hair, hugging him close to his body. "I...I believe you..."

Dearka smiled and sat up, looking at the other pilot. "Do you trust me, Yzak-chan?"

Yzak looked up at Dearka with eyes he had never thought he would look at anyone ever again with. "I...I do, Dearka." He said, feeling like he was making a marriage commitment.

Dearka gently lifted Yzak's hands up above the boy's head. He rummaged in the bedside drawer for a second, pulling out handcuffs. He carefully fastened Yzak's hands to the headboard. Yzak was startled for a minute, but calmed down as Dearka kissed him.

Dearka knew exactly what to do, it seemed. He didn't admit to Yzak that he had spent hours at night when he couldn't sleep, thinking about all the different ways...he shuddered slightly, and dropped to Yzak's neck, nipping teasingly at the soft skin there. It was now Yzak's turn to shudder as his lover's mouth gave full attention to his throat, latching on to the pulsing muscle and sucking. He felt himself harden at Yzak's soft mewling sounds. Grinning slightly, he moved down.

Yzak gave a small cry at Dearka just barely touched the tip of one of the younger boy's nipples with his lips. He strained hard at the handcuffs, pushing his body up as far as it would go. "God, Dearka...!" he whimpered slightly as Dearka pulled away, a mischievous smile on his lips. Then the tanned pilot became serious, looking down at the platinum blonde's chest. He thoughtfully traced the scar with his finger, ignoring the moans of protest from his lover.

"You got this...protecting me..." he said, as though he couldn't quite believe it. "I just...why?"

Yzak thought for a moment, rather uncomfortable with the intensity of these feelings. He had never been one to truly, actually talk about anything. "I..." Oh, there was the mushiness factor too. Dammit! But was the truth. "Because I really do love you, Dearka." He spoke softly, pushing himself up to kiss Dearka's lips. "And I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Ever."

Dearka smiled, leaning in to kiss Yzak again. He considered, then dropped down to where he was before. He teasingly traced around the boy's nipple, revelling in the way the slender chest heaved up and down as Yzak breathed heavily. Dearka felt himself get even more aroused that he thought possible—would he come just by listening to the younger boy's moans?

No, he told himself. He would have to wait. He would make himself wait...for Yzak.

A small scream emitted from those perfect lips as Dearka bit down on one of the nubs of flesh. He crushed his carnal instincts, remembering what Yzak had been through. He loosened his teeth and began to work gently with his tongue and lips, almost devouring the whole area. He reached down also to unbutton and slip one hand into Yzak's silk pants, softly stroking the length of flesh that was already straining against the fabric.

Yzak felt a small bead of sweat trickle down his face. He did not deserve this. He didn't deserve Dearka. He didn't deserve anything And yet, here he was: practically in Heaven. He must have done something right, because someone up there was sure feeling happy with him right now.

Dearka suddenly realised something, after he was done torturing the nipples and had the pants almost all the way off. "We need some lube."


Yzak suddenly laughed. "Well...I do happen to have a can in my drawer..."

Shock. "You keep lube in your drawer?"

"Why not?"

Not having a ready answer for that, Dearka simply turned and shuffled through the drawer, finding what he was looking for, and quickly. He couldn't contain himself any longer.

He squeezed some onto his hand, feeling its cooling creamyness on his skin. He turned and started doing his job.

Yzak gasped as the cold cream hit his rock-hard member, Dearka's skilled hands working it into every flap of skin. Was it possible to come when they were rubbing the lube on? He wondered almost giddily, fighting against the urge to do just that as the waves of pleasure coursed—was coursed the right word? No—more like slamming through his body. He felt like crying again, just from the sheer wonder and love of it all.

Dearka loved him. Those words kept repeating, over and over...

Said blonde looked at Yzak, concern showing on his face. "Yzak-chan? Are you all right? I'm not hurting you, right?"

Yzak found that his eyes were screwed shut, as though with pain. He quickly opened them and smiled at Dearka. "I'm fine...please...just...get on...with it..."

Understanding completely, Dearka lubricated Yzak's entrance and slipped a finger in, probing. The platinum blonde moaned, squirming in his bonds, as the finger hit a sweet spot. Dearka grinned. "You like that?" he teased, rubbing his finger over the spot again and again. Yzak felt a pleasure roaring much like a wave up from his inner depths, threatening to bowl him over as Dearka added another, and another finger! He felt his recently ravaged entrance start to pain again, overriding the pleasure, as he thought he would be torn open. But he wouldn't say anything. He firmly trusted Dearka, trusted the blonde pilot to take care, and not hurt him any more than need be.

Dearka suddenly rememberd something. At a small annoyed cry from Yzak, he removed his fingers and bent down. The smaller pilot gasped as Dearka's mouth engulfed his weeping sex, deep-throating it. Yzak almost cried from the sensation of Dearka's strong throat muscles pummeling the organ. Dearka moved his throat in several up-and-down motions while throating until finally, with a cry, Yzak exploded into Dearka's mouth. The tanned pilot swallowed every last bit of the precious liquid, waiting for Yzak to calm his breathing.

Said boy took a breath. ""

Dearka nodded. "Wow."

Yzak turned his head away, almost...blushing? "I never would feel like that..."

Dearka nodded. "Neither did I."


Dearka coughed. "Yzak...are you ready?"

With the unspoken consent of best friends becoming lovers, Yzak gave his answer.

Dearka wrapped Yzak's legs around his shoulders and positioned himself to enter the platinum blonde. "Yzak..."


Dearka nodded, took a deep breath, and slid into the entrance. Yzak's eyes flew open at the unexpected, filling pleasure. A moan escaped from his throat as Dearka's member hit the same sweet spot that his fingers had hit not ten minutes ago. Dearka thrust against the younger boy's hips. "Yzak, thrust with me!"


Hard rocking and passionate kisses brought Yzak to the edge. With one final thrust, both lovers came in a mass of sweat, tears, and crying out of love.

Yzak lay panting in Dearka's arms, riding out the last vestiges of the powerful orgasm. When both their breathing returned to normal, Dearka nuzzled Yzak under the chin.

"I love you, Yzak-chan."

The platinum blonde was quiet.

Dearka was immediately chagrined. "Yzak? Oh God, I'm sorry! If you didn't want to, you should have said--!"

He was cut off by lips pressed against his. Yzak pulled away, a shy yet mischievous smile on his face.

"I love you too, Dearka-kun." He whispered. "And...thank you."

"For what?"

"For loving me. For comforting me. For looking past everything else about me and breaking my barriers. I..."

Dearka understood the rest, and also understood how hard it was for Yzak to be mushy. "I understand,'re welcome."

They spent the rest of the night in each other's arms.

Sapphire Artemis: Yeah, wasn't too bad...I just don't want this story ta be removed...