I got inspired and somehow ended up writing Lloyd's point of view for the events that happen in Urby's "Lose Thyself", which you should read before reading this one as it's a great fic and this will make more sense if you do.

For Urby, obviously, and for Lloyd and Colette as well I guess, because they're just so cute :)

Spoiler warning: If you don't know what happens to Colette after the angel transformation's complete and don't want to know then please don't read this, thanks.

Disclaimer: I don't own Tales of Symphonia. I believe Namco have that pleasure.

Also, as this is based on "Lose Thyself" it makes some references to it and quotes it. I ran this by Urby first to check that she was OK with it though.


Lloyd felt, and he knew it would sound stupid to anyone he expressed the feeling to, but it was the only way he could find to describe it, like a piece of him, a piece of his heart, had been ripped out. He'd felt like this since he lost Colette. And it really felt like she was lost, the body beside him wasn't Colette. What made Colette Colette was locked away somewhere deep and he desperately wanted to help unlock it, bring back the wonderful girl he loved, yes, loved.

In what way he loved her he wasn't entirely sure, not having any experience of the emotion really beyond family love. But he suspected he knew what type of love it was, a thought that made him blush, and he wanted her to come back so he could explore the emotion, see if she felt the same way.

He really hoped she felt the same, felt a pang deep in his heart at the thought that it might not be the case. But something inside told him that no, it would be alright, if he could just bring her back from whatever nightmare her soul was trapped in.

He'd felt such a surge of hope when the information that a certain type of keycrest might save her had been passed onto him and his companions. But now, seeing her just as she was before he'd put the necklace on her, unchanged, his heart felt more pain than he knew it was possible to feel.

It couldn't be, no, it couldn't possibly be the case that he'd never bring her back? No! It couldn't be!

His heart lifted as he saw her react to the necklace for the first time, her hand hesitantly going to it, beginning to touch it.

"Don't you remember? It's your birthday present..." he prompted hopefully, could it be she was coming back to herself?

No. The look on her face was confused, she didn't register anything at all.

Desperately, not really knowing what he was doing, just trying with all his being to bring her back, he gave her further information on the necklace, shaking her to emphasise the words, some instinct telling him, perhaps wrongly, it might help the words sink in.

He realised that no, it wasn't a good idea, as she tried to pry herself away from him.

"Oh Colette, I'm so sorry, Colette, I, I'm so sorry," he stammered, mentally kicking himself for doing something so stupid, something that might hurt her. Stupid stupid idiot.

His eyes widened when her hand went to the necklace again, this time trying to remove it.

That hurt again, the extreme pain, like someone was repeatedly stabbing his heart whilst simultaneously turning it to cold, hard, heavy ice. It was like she was rejecting him.

He screamed, begging her not to take the necklace off.

Part of him registered that it wasn't really her that was rejecting him and the necklace, that she wasn't really herself. But that didn't stop it hurting.

Dammit, he wanted the person who meant the most to him in the worlds to come back to him! He hurt, ached, constantly, without her by his side. Felt like he wanted to just break down and cry, sobbing out all the pain, but he'd never stop crying unless she came back. So he had to be strong, for the both of them, had to stick to the task of saving both her and the worlds. He could do it, he loved her!

He told her, promised, he'd bring her back, such strong conviction in his words that no one who heard him could possibly have the slightest bit of doubt he would achieve his goal.

And he found comfort in the fact that, for the first time in ages, she didn't try to push him away as he held her, even if she did pull an expression of slight discomfort.

He moved back a little to look at her face, gaze into her eyes which, he noticed with another stab of pain, weren't the vibrant, bright blue orbs that usually twinkled in her face, lighting it up.

He promised her again in a whisper and knew that no matter what it took, no matter how many hardships he had to endure, he'd bring her back. He'd get those eyes back to their beautiful, bright selves. And then he'd do his best, always, to make sure they, as well as the rest of her face, lit up with joy as often as he could possibly make them do so.