By Kawaii Cherry Blossom
Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon, or the song 'Fragile' by Delta Goodrem. The rights to both are property of their respective owners.
Rating: M15 - Mature themes
Summary: Taking a break from Pokémon training, Ash returns to Cerulean City to spend some time with Misty. But as he catches up with his best friend, he learns that much has changed since he once knew her… Or did he?
Ash – 18
Misty – 18
thoughts at once, I can't focus on one
Seven days a week but my life has just begun
So caught in emotion and I'm overcome
As I'm falling down I come undone…"
I want to drive my fist into the mirror's reflection. I want to. Come on Misty, do it. Do it!
No. I can't. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to.
You have no choice. This is who you are.
This is NOT who I am.
This is who you are now.
And with that, I am defeated, too weak to fight it, and I'm not sure that I truly want to anymore. I glance up at my reflection disgustedly once again, before turning away.
A moment later, the melodious sound of the doorbell drifts through the gym, bouncing off each wall until it finds my ears. Nobody is home, and it could be a trainer, so I sigh and unwillingly lift myself from my bed, before unlocking my door and stepping into the hallway. I walk past the framed photos of my sisters and I, the cerulean blue walls and the painted images of various water Pokémon, and make my way towards the front door. My pace is slow, I hope that if I walk slowly enough the person at the front door will grow impatient and turn away, because the last thing I feel like doing right now is dealing with an over-confident Pokémon trainer that reminds me of Ash.
But my hopes are washed away like the tide as the doorbell sounds once again, followed by a seemingly impatient knock. Yep, it's definitely an over-confident Pokémon trainer that's going to remind me of Ash… I force as interested a look onto my face as I can as I grasp the doorknob and swing the door open.
I can feel my eyes grow wide as they set upon the tall figure that stands in front of me. His rich black hair is styled, though it still waves wildly in every direction possible, his chocolate eyes dancing with happiness and optimism. He's no longer puny and scrawny, I note, as I notice the slight muscles showing underneath his black t-shirt, and he's a few inches taller than me. Whoa.
Well, at least now I know that I'm dreaming.
"Hiya, Mist!" he says excitedly as he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into an embrace.
But wait, this seems so real…
"A…Ash…?" I stutter, shock filling my quiet voice, and he pulls away, looking at me quizzically.
"How are ya, Misty?" he asks, his eyes gazing questioningly into mine.
"I'm fine… What are you doing here?"
It's not that I'm not happy to see him, in fact, I'm overjoyed. Just a little…shocked…
Perhaps he has come to save me…
No, you don't need saving. You're Misty Waterflower, and you're strong, powerful. You don't need anybody, let alone him. He'll only drag you back in the wrong direction, make you weak again. You do what you do because it's the only way. The only way.
Right. The only way…
The joy in his eyes seems to fade slightly, like a fire losing its intensity, as he asks, "What? I'm not allowed to come and visit my best friend?" I smile apologetically.
"I mean, I wasn't expecting you."
A serious look overpowers the mischievousness in his eyes, as he steps past me and into the gym.
"I haven't heard from you in a while," he speaks. "And I was worried."
"Ash Ketchum? Worried about me?" I ask, and he looks somewhat hurt.
"Of course I worry about you… I always do…"
Yes, that's the way. Everyone would worry about poor, weak little Misty Waterflower, who can't take care of herself, who is good for nothing, who isn't even worth life…
"Misty?" his voice snaps me out of the dark hole I'd fallen into and brings me back up to the sun. "Are you alright?" Closing the door, a wave of anger takes over me.
"Why wouldn't I be? I can take care of myself you know," I snap, and a concerned, shocked look immediately crosses Ash's face. Realising my actions, I immediately correct them as I force a laugh and a smile.
"I mean, of course I'm alright, Ash," I say with as much vigour as I can, hoping and praying that he'll believe it. He looks unsure. Very, very unsure. Damnit, I'm so stupid. Thankfully, he seems to brush his concerns aside, a smile returning to replace his doubt.
"Let's go sit down," I suggest, changing the subject, before I lead him to the living room, and we sit upon the soft, blue couch, facing each other.
"It's so good to see you," he says after he's seated, and I smile shyly, feeling a blush creep onto my cheeks.
"You too. So how's things? What have you been up to?"
Is it just me, or does Misty seem…I dunno…a bit spaced out? It seems as if she's in another world… Strange…
"Well, after the Hoenn League, we stayed with May's family for a while and I did some training with her father at his gym," I answer her question, flitting away my thoughts for the moment so she wouldn't get suspicious. "After that, Max went off on his own Pokémon journey with May as his tutor, and Brock went home for a while, so I decided to take a break. I decided to come back home for a while. Just for a month or so, to have a rest."
"Wow, you taking a break? I've never heard of such a thing!" she teases, returning to her old self. Perhaps I've just been reading too much into things. Misty's fine. And besides, when is Misty not fine?
As by habit, I rub the back of my head with my hand shyly, and she laughs. God it's so good to see her again. I would never admit to anybody how much I missed Misty when she wasn't traveling with us. It's a secret that only myself, Pikachu and my journal know, though I think Brock can read minds because I swear he knows as well.
"And where is Pikachu?"
"Well actually…he met this other Pikachu the other day, a female, and well…"
"Pikachu's in love?!" she asks, and I laugh.
"Well yeah, I guess so…" I reply sheepishly.
"That is SO cute!" she squeals.
"Yeah, but a word of advice, don't EVER tell him that. When I told him it was cute…well…let's just say…owch…" The memory is painful, too.
We both erupt into laughter, which lasts for a few moments, before it fades.
I tear my eyes away from Misty as I realise I'm staring at her, but all the same, she was staring at me. An uncomfortable silence develops, the air so tense it could be cut by a knife.
I want to hug him again. That felt so good, his arms around me, I felt so safe… I want to feel protected, sheltered, secure…
But why should I deserve someone like him? I don't deserve dirt. Not me. And besides, he could get any girl he wants, why would he pick me? I'm nothing, not beautiful, not spirited, heck, I'm probably the worst friend he's ever had.
Then why is he here? Does he want to stay? Can I handle that? What if he finds out? What if he abandons me?
He should abandon me… I'm not worth his time…
"So… How come you haven't been in contact with us for so long? I mean, it's been months…" Ash's question slices open the silence that had engulfed us, cutting off my thoughts.
"Oh, well, you know… My sisters went away again, so I've been in charge of the gym by myself…"
"Really? Where'd they go?"
"Australia this time. They said something about some place called the Gold Coast and getting a tan…" I reply, rolling my eyes slightly. My sisters, all they care about is the way they look.
I laugh ironically as this statement leaves my mind, and want to kick myself for thinking it.
"Oh, how cool," he replies.
"Yeah, it would've been, if they'd taken me with them," I reply, and it sounds like I'm whining, but I don't really care. Ash shrugs innocently.
"Well, I'm glad they didn't," he says.
"Why?" I question.
"Because then you wouldn't have been here when I came!"
The oh-so-familiar warm feeling in my cheeks makes yet another appearance as his smiling eyes gaze into mine. I glance away shyly, but I can still feel his eyes on me.
"Misty?" he asks gently.
"I've really missed you…"
He's missed me? Really missed me? I look back into his eyes and search for the certainty that I seek to prove that he's telling the truth. Sure enough, it's right in front of me, but do I believe it? I have no doubt that I am head over heels in love with him. I accepted it years ago. But I also accepted that he would never feel the same way, and now more than ever, I believe this to be true.
How can he love me, after all? How can anybody love me? Look at me. I'm disgusting, a disgrace to the human race. No, he could never love me…
"I'll get you a drink…" I reply hurriedly, before rushing out of the room and towards the kitchen, ignoring the faint feeling that washes over me as I do so.
That was weird… Misty seems so nervous, and Misty is never nervous. I shake my head and lean back into the soft pillows that make up the back of the couch.
Do I tell her? Do I just come out and say it? So badly, I want to reach out and squeeze her hand, tell her how much I love and adore her, and know that I'll never have to be without her again. But what are my chances? Be honest, Ash, Misty is…well…sort of out of your league, isn't she? I mean, look at her, she's the most beautiful person…
But then again, she was just blushing…
I've always followed the path my heart has led me down. And it tells me that this is the right thing to do. Yes, this is the right thing to do. The right risk to take. I can't keep this secret inside of me anymore…
My confidence is interrupted, however, as I hear the sound of glass shattering, and something falling. Worry courses through my veins as I jump up and dashthrough the door that Misty had disappeared through a minute before.
To be continued…
Just a warning guys… This fic is going to get pretty dark… Please review if you have any comments. Thank you.
Love and light,