"Do me a favor, will you?"
"What?" replied the swordsman sounding distracted, which, of course, was perfectly understandable given their current situation.
"This is important, asshole."
Zoro turned an irritated look in Sanji's direction.
"Just..." the blonde squirmed uncomfortably, "well, just, don't, you know, tell me that you love me or anything."
The swordsman's jaw dropped. He opened and closed his mouth three times before actual sound was produced.
"Wh---Why in the HELL would I do that?"
A huge jolt lurched them forward from were they stood, with their bodies pressed against the splintering wooden door, as their enemies increased their efforts to get into the small room where both swordsman and cook were trapped.
"Well," Sanji began slowly, sounding as if he was speaking to a retarded puppy, "because you do."
"Prove it!" Zoro shot back in reflex.
Sanji rolled his eyes even as he strained to hold the door closed.
"You're an idiot. Anyway, since were trapped here, with a fucking army just about to break though, and seeing that our chances of surviving look like absolute shit, I don't want you picking the moment to confess your feelings. Whenever that happens in a book, one or both of the characters wind up dying. I don't want to risk some sappy cliché."
There was a long weighted pause, as the shouts from the other side increased in fury.
"You're fucking insane."
"What the hell ever. Just keep your mouth SHUT, and wait to tell me after we get out of this, OK?"
With a snarl, Zoro slammed his shoulder hard into the weakening door, startling their attackers on the other side with the force of the blow. He stepped back, and was fully armed before Sanji saw him draw his first weapon. He spoke with short, clipped words around the hilt between his teeth.
"Fine. I will."
Sanji jumped back just as the door shattered into a thousand pieces.