I've tried everything, you know. Pork buns. Beer. Tea. Cigarettes. But they're still not mine. (sighs)

I haven't been sealed for 500 years, which is why I'm aware that the 38 Incidents Project has been closed. ;;

But the 38 Incidents Project is such a wonderful thing, and so I couldn't resist making a post-project fic. (pleads for Sariyuki not to whap me senseless with a nyoibou plushie) XP

A Rather Painful Incident

As tortured by: Nikoru Sanzo

Hakkai could only see the back of Sanzo' s head. He could also see how Sanzo' s hands were almost white as they gripped the back of the chair. In discomfort.

He had offered to let Sanzo sit down, but the latter would rather stand up for it. And it wasn't helping that the supply of oil was dwindling and must be used sparingly.

It didn't have to be painful, but the constant squirming and swearing could make any man (lesser or not) give up and say (though gently, in Hakkai' s case)…

"Would you rather I cut it off?"

For once, Sanzo had to concede. "No. Get through with it already and clean up after your mess!"

Hakkai sighed and continued. No use going out to buy more oil. He'd rather not come back to find, this time, an uncooperative Sanzo.

Another pull, unintentionally rough but necessary, elicited another string of paint-peeling expletives.

"It doesn't make you any less of a man to ask for gentleness."

Sanzo snorted. "Screw you."

Hakkai smiled jokingly. "Your proposed form of payment is acceptable. Now, sit still until I get all of Goku' s bubblegum out of your hair."

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Yep, I was sooo tempted to call this "The Bubblegum Incident". XP

Maybe Hakkai should keep a bottle of DW-40 handy, you know, just in case. (sniggers)

Based on a true story of a good friend's tragedy: high school field trip… bunch of rowdy boys at the backseat… shock and pain… not to mention the teacher going into conniptions. (sighs at the fond memories)

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 For Edmund, Innocent Bystander

And Casualty of -9.81 m/s2 (acceleration due to gravity)