Disclaimer: If I owned Yu-gi-oh, there would be some resolution with Mai, goddamn it!

Okay, I just finished Deny, and was planning on getting some sleep, it being around 1 in the morning. Unfortunatly, when writing the closing notes of that fic, I had an Inspiration. Damn you, Mai! Damn you! It is now around 2, and I am going to do this chapter and then get in bed for Real. I mean it this time. Really.

I am not guaranteeing an update every week for this. I was planning to not start another fic until I could, but noooo...

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And... what do I say?

Here's a story.

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess who lived in a beautiful castle. Her parents loved her very much.

Her parents ignored her.

One day, she was kidnapped by an evil witch.

She ran away.

She was forced into servitude.

She made tons of money as a professional gambler.

She was aided by cute little forest animals.

Her half-naked harpies kicked sexist ass.

One day, she met a handsome prince on his way to an enchanter's palace to rescue his sister, the princess Serenity.

On her way to yet another win, she made fun of a loser who drooled at the sight of her.

She joined forces with the prince, and aided him in his quest.

She tried to knock the weakling out of the tournament, and got her ass handed to her by the most goddamn lucky play she'd ever seen.

She aided him against an evil dragon warrior.

She sicced Rex on him. Male chauvinist pig.

Her animal friends helped her gather and prepare the bounty of the forest for him and his party of brave warriors.

She knew what a jerk Pegsy was, and had brought food. Out of the goodness of her heart, she shared it with the chumps.

She was stolen away by a dark sorcerer-assassin, and the prince rescued her.

Yugi kicked Panik's ass. And gave me back those star-chips, god knows why. I don't get them.

The princess repaid her debt.

I gave Yugi eight star-chips. I still can't believe I forfeited. What the hell was I thinking?

The princess ceded her rightful throne to one of the prince's companions.

Yugi kicked my ass.

She then gave the prince the magical talisman that assured his victory.

So I gave him my entry card. Big deal.

Many years later, she came to cheer him at a tourney.

Rematch, here I come!

Unfortunatly, the noble princess was captured by a demon lord.

Don't think about it. Don't!

The brave prince sacrificed his life to rescue her.

... Yugi did it, anyways.

But she was only free for a short while, for another sorcerer enslaved her will.

They say it wasn't really my fault. Bullshit.

This time, the prince gave up his very soul, and chance to aid the world, to free her.

Goddamn MORON! I was trying to... MORON!

After this, consumed by guilt, she fled to a nunnery, intending never to see the prince again.

I'm not that stupid.

But the prince came on bended knee to ask for her hand. He showered her with the finest jewels in all the land, if she would but be his queen.

One day, he laughingly got down on one knee. It was a goddamn little plastic trinket. He had just found it in a Cracker Jack box he was eating out of. I should have thrown it back in his face.

And she said yes.

And he didn't expect me to take him seriously. Baka. Don't joke about stuff like that.

And they lived happily ever after.

We win every tournament Kaiba and Yugi don't enter. Fear me! Muahahahaaaa! We have more money than Bill Gates, now that Kaiba ran him out of business.

And touch one hair on my puppy's head and I will show you why I wear high heels.

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And... what more do you wanna know?

True, I've told you a tale... but there's so much more to it than that.

A 26-year-old bitch queen and the sweetest little punk ever to draw breath.

We... just kept running into each other. I knew he had a crush on me the moment he saw me. Lots of boys did. I've had more marriage proposals than I can remember.

Actors, world-class duelists... diamonds the size of your thumbnail.

I turned them all down. I wanted to be alone.

I wanted a plastic ruby and a wedding band with hieroglyphics on it, custom-made with the money from that tournament we tied in.

God, he's sappy.

God, I love him.

After all he's suffered for me...

He was willing to die, rather than abandon me. He tried to fight Malik. He was clinically dead.

I can't believe I did that. Joking about something like that... I can't believe I pretended to be still dead to the world even after Yugi won. I told myself the look on his face when he realized what was going on was priceless, but...

I shouldn't have done that. He was heartbroken. I told myself he didn't really care that much.

I knew I was lying. It scared me.

I ran.

The hurt, the disbelief. No matter what I said, he wouldn't believe I was aiding Doom of my own free will.

He stood there, hurt and exhausted, trying to reach me with his cards. He had Helmos, he could have won.

He pushed me out of the Seal. How could he have known I was going to let my soul be taken in place of his?

I tried to free him. I failed.

He helped save me.

I ran. But I kept track of him. And one fine day, he came with a business proposal.

How could I have turned him down?

And years later...

200 guest list?!!! I don't even know that many people! Oh, wait. I do. Weirdness. Joey! Get over here and address these envelopes!

Where to register? I've got everything from Tiffany's I want...

Do or do I not tell my parents?

Shizuka's Bridesmaid, Yugi's the Best Man obviously...

Talk to Yugi re. arrangements for the Harpie Sisters and Flame Swordsman, etc. to attend. Shadow portal, temporary transformation to humans...

Fuck this. Joey! You do this. I'm going to go exercise.

Good puppy. You may have a kiss.

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I'm actually trying to move away from monologue style... the following chapters are probably going to be a mix, experiments. I wrote out some notes, ideas, but they are subject to scrapping.

Well? What do you think?