Disclaimer: Paramount owns all Star Trek characters. I make no profit from this story.
Author's note: I was listening to many love songs trying to get new ideas and finally Ronan Keating's "When you say nothing at all" gave me the idea for this one.
My fourth story. A bit different than the previous ones. Not really a love story, just about friendship and comfort and instinctively knowing what the other one needs.
Thanks to Jeannette for checking my story. :)
All feedback is welcome and hoped for but please be gentle.
Tears in the rain
by Sunstar 5/2001
They had not been close, in fact, he had not even liked him much. He had hated him.
The last few years had been okay and in his childhood there had been some good moments but everything else had been pure hell.
Then WHY did he feel empty? Like something had been taken away. Why did he care? He was gone now. He would not bother him anymore.
Mixed up feelings were bottling up inside of him. He was angry and hurt. Relieved and sad. Furious and confused.
The funeral had been a few days ago. He walked in the rain. The sky was cloudy and darkening. The wind was chilly. He did not notice. He kept walking. He walked without knowing were he was going. He wanted to leave, to go back among the stars but something was keeping him here.
He kicked the sand he was walking on and punched some trees along the way but nothing helped. He started running. He ran as fast as he could to as far as he could. His breath caught in his throat, his lungs banging against his ribs. His heart beat faster than he thought possible.
Finally he wore himself out and came to a stop on a cliff overlooking the ocean. He let out an angry and frustrated growl and sank to his knees. He was soaking wet from the rain and sweat. His skin was clammy and cold. His rational mind told him to find cover from the stormy weather but he was too exhausted. He just sat there.
When people had come to him with their condolences and asked him if he was okay, he had told them he was fine, just a bit shocked. They saw his serious face but no one knew how he really felt, except one.
- - - - - - -
She had been watching him. From the day he had found out. She had been there, in the background. She knew he needed some time alone. He did not want anyone close. But she was there. Silently observing, sharing his pain. On the Enterprise and on Earth. She watched him, watched how he blocked every attempt anyone made to cheer him up. No one could get near him and finally they stopped trying.
Now on Earth in Alaska, she had got a room from a hotel near his house. For days now, she had been following him. Watching the battle he went through, being happy when he made a little progress. His mind was a mess and so was his heart and soul. But they would heal, eventually. She knew that.
- - - - - - -
He stared at the raging ocean. He was shivering. He had lost the sense of time. He did not know how long he had sat there. A minute? Ten minutes? An hour? He did not really care. He needed, wanted to find peace.
Suddenly she was there. A warm hand on his shoulder. He turned his head and looked into her dark sad eyes. A single tear rolled down her face and mixed to the raindrops. She was soaked too.
She took his hand and sat down next to him.
"My father's gone," he whispered.
She said nothing, just nodded.
"Why do I feel this way? WHY?" He yelled getting up.
"I hated him! Dammit, I hated him! Why does his death bother me this much?!"
He let out a long sigh and sank down again.
"Why do I miss him?" He said quietly, almost sobbing. "Why? Please...help me."
She got up and went to him.
Shhh... It's alright. Just let it out. I'm here. I won't leave you. He heard in his head as she pulled him into a tight embrace.
He clung to her like one left in the middle of the ocean would clung to a life raft. All the carefully build walls started to tumble down, one by one.
He cried openly now. He buried his head in her lap and wept like a child. She held his head and stroked his hair whispering words of comfort in his ear while he poured out his heart.
"...and he made my life hell...but without him I might not be what I am today. I have no reason to miss him but I still do. I hated him but I know now that...somewhere deep within me I care...and maybe even love him...I wish I had had the chance to tell him that."
You can still tell him. It's not too late. He's still here with us and always will be.
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes.
She smiled a watery smile.
Yes, I am.
Once again he got up to his feet and walked shakily closer to the cliff's edge. For a while he just stood there looking up at the sky, tears streaming down his face.
"Dad...I don't know if you can hear this but...I just wanted to tell you that I miss you. I wish you were here...I'm sorry for all the bad things I've said to you...I hope you'll forgive me...I love you."
He lowered his head and took a deep breath. Warm arms wrapped around his waist from behind.
"I'm so proud of you. I knew you could do it."
He turned around wrapping his own arms around her.
"Thank you Dee. I couldn't have done it without you." He said kissing the top of her head and hugging her tighter.
He rested his head on hers but was soon forced to lift it when she looked up.
"I don't know about you but I'm freezing. Could we go back now?"
"Yes." He said chuckling. "Yes, of course. And I think we better hurry or we'll get a fever and Beverly will confine us to sickbay."
She looked into his blue eyes.
"It's good to see you smile again," she said touching his cheek.
He took her hand and looked up at the sky one last time.
"Bye dad," he whispered.
Then he turned to look at her.
"Come on, let's go home."
And while they walked back, the rain turned into a drizzle and the sun peeked out from behind the clouds forming a beautiful rainbow on the sky. It was like the heavens knew everything was okay again.