Chapter 51

"How long do you think it will take for us to find a new home?" asked Sirius as he walked out of the bathroom with a robe on and his dark hair dripping wet.

From his place on the bed, James shrugged and got up to assist his lover in drying his hair. "I don't know. I can't imagine it will take too long, considering that we agreed on our last house almost instantly."

"But that was like a dream beginning house. We don't need a beginning house anymore. Goodness, we have to kids and another one on the way!" he exclaimed, gesturing to his slightly larger stomach.

James sighed and gently pulled Sirius over to the bed. He pushed him onto it and lay down beside him, wrapping his arm around his lover's waist. "I know. What else can we do though? I guess we don't really have to buy any furniture, assuming you're alright with just transfiguring things into furniture."

Sirius shrugged. "It worked last time. I just…I don't know. I'm tired. This is all just exhausting. Why did this have to happen? We were happy and settled and…"

James listened to him and pressed a kiss to the nape of Sirius's neck. "Sometimes, bad things happen and good things occur because of it."

Sirius chuckled. "You mean that whole bad hand thing?"

James smiled as he remembered that conversation with his mom. "Kinda, except no one's losing this time. Except Voldemort, if you want to count him."

"Nah, I don't think I will. But we lost our house, unless you're counting that as nothing."

"But it isn't anything. That's the thing. The things that are really important are either downstairs or in my arms."

Smiling, Sirius snuggled into James's chest more. He felt so safe and loved that he could stay there for the rest of his life. He'd love to, as well, but they had to face reality at some point, and like they said, there's no time like the present. However, he just wanted to stay there for just a little bit longer.

"Why can't things be like they used to be? Before…when we were at Hogwarts?"

James sighed and stroked Sirius's hair. "We grew up, love. It was inevitable, and it happened."

Sirius laughed softly. "Well, then I wish we could stay young for forever."

"Doesn't everyone who gets old wish that they could just stay a teenager?" asked James, pulling back slightly.

"I guess so," a sleepy Sirius responded and James pulled him closer again. "I'm so tired."

"Is it because you're pregnant?"

"I don't know. I hope not, because I don't want to feel this tired for another four months."

James laughed slightly and kissed Sirius's neck again. "I wonder how long Lily and Remus will tolerate us staying here."

"They'd let us stay forever if we really needed to. However, I'd rather not and I'm sure they'd like their own privacy."

"Alright, then we've got to find a place to live."

Sirius sighed and sat up. He looked around and his gaze fell on a mirror. "I'm ugly."

James turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. "What in the world makes you think that?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm fat and ugly. I don't know why, I just am."

James sighed. He had already gone through that once, as he didn't have to deal with almost anything from Ana's pregnancy, and didn't want to go through it again. Sirius was always beautiful to him, and he hated how he always seemed to degrade himself, whether it was his appearance, attitude, or personality, he could always insult himself as easily as he could Snape.

"You're just as beautiful today as you were yesterday and a month ago and a year ago and two years ago. You have never been ugly or fat. So whatever you're smoking to make you see something that's not there, stop. It's not good for you."

Sirius laughed at that. "Who said I was smoking anything?"

"It's implied."

"Shut up. I'm gonna go get Matt. He's probably hungry by now. Plus, I'd rather listen to him babble baby talk then listen to you insult me." With those words spoken, Sirius left the room, leaving James to sit for a while in peace. It wasn't long before Sirius returned, however, with Matt in his arms, singing a lullaby to him softly.

"Ah, back so soon?"

"Ha-ha, real cute. I got tired of watching Lily and Remus showing Ana our old school pictures."

James laughed, but quickly grew serious. "We need to figure out what we're going to do."

Sirius sighed. "Must we do it so soon?"

"We're intruding on some other people's homes. Of course we have to do it soon. If we don't then we'll just be imposing. We do have enough money to get a decent house that's big enough for three, as your poetry book brought in quite a lot of money and your uncle was kind enough to leave you some."

Sirius sighed and rocked Matt, seemingly ignoring James. James became slightly frustrated. Before he could say anything, Sirius spoke. "Do you really think that it's safe for us here?" he asked. "I mean, they could come back at any time, and we'd be just as vulnerable then as we are now."

James sighed and rubbed his hand through his already messy hair. "I don't know. Where would we go?"

Shaking his head slightly, Sirius shrugged. "I don't know, I just…I don't like living with the uncertainty of our own day to day lives. I want to know that my children are safe."

"But if we go anywhere, then we'd be forced to leave our friends and my family and…I just don't want to do that. Do you really want the newest additions to our family to grow up not knowing Remus or Lily at all? Or my parents for that matter?"

"Not really, but what does it matter if we're all dead?" Sirius sighed again and continued, "I don't know what I'm even trying to suggest."

Just then Anastasia came into the room and sat down next to her parents. For a four year old, she was extremely perceptive and understanding of her parents' feelings. James looked at her and the memories came flooding back. Sirius telling him of his rape, the first pregnancy, telling Snape about Remus, the fighting, the making up, the kisses, the hugs, the tears, Ana's birth, the first house, the marriage, the honeymoon, the second baby, the death eater attack, and Sirius's current pregnancy. All of the things that stuck most clearly in his mind had occurred recently with Sirius. He loved him so much. Their life had been far from perfect, but then again, who's was? If there was such a person or relationship, James would very much like to meet them, but as the existence of a perfect life was improbable, James was quite content with his life.

Meanwhile, Sirius was sitting on the bed contemplating. The more he thought about it the more he didn't want to leave. This was his home, and while it may not be the nicest place on earth, he realized that wherever they went, there would be new problems creating themselves. Why go to a new place and create problems when you could just stay at your home and take on challenges that had been there since the beginning? Sirius looked at her closely. She had grown up there. Who was he to uproot the entire family because of his own insecurities. "I don't want to leave," Sirius said suddenly, changing his mind abruptly. "We'll just have to take things as they're thrown at us."

"Throwing things isn't nice," reprimanded the small child sitting between him and James.

James smiled down at her and wrapped his arms around her small body. "Well, from what I've heard, the things that make us stronger are the things we go through."

The End

A.N. well, that's that. Thank you all for reading this. It means so much to me. This is the end, as stated above, so…I really don't think I will do a sequel. That seems like a nice ending to me and I can't think of any more brilliant plots anyways. But thank you anyways. You are all so awesome!