I don't own TT. I don't own anything.
Woop. This is going to be fun to write. I hope you like it. It may seem a bit long but I worked pretty hard on this. It's not really that long.
It was much windier than he had expected. Beast Boy landed on the roof of the tower in the form of a sparrow and morphed into his original form. He gave a violent shudder and wrapped his arms around himself.
He looked across the flat roof and saw a dark figure floating cross-legged near the edge with her back to him. He gave a sigh. He still felt extremely guilty for yelling at her, even though it appeared to be water under the bridge. She had joined he and Cyborg in a game of 'stankball', much to their surprise. She had seemed to be genuinely enjoying herself. So why had she rushed off to the roof like that to be alone so abruptly afterward?
The answer was obvious; she was hurt by what Malchior had done. He couldn't blame her. The hurt could only be deterred by throwing putrid socks for so long before it came back to haunt you. Beast Boy knew betrayal and its effects well, and he knew it took quite a while to heal its wounds. But time itself never fully helped with the recovery. One needed compassion from others, someone to understand, if they were truly to repair. He had received it from his friends after the incident with Terra, because they had been betrayed by her as well. They were all in the same boat. They hadn't had the feelings for her that he had, but they had been hurt just the same.
This situation was different. Raven had been the only one hurt here. She was the only one affected by what Malchoir had done. She was completely and utterly alone.
Beast Boy stared at her shadowy form from across the roof. She was quivering slightly. If he hadn't known better he would have assumed she was crying, but this was Raven.
Beast Boy ventured carefully across the roof, approaching her.
"Uh...hi," he muttered. Raven didn't turn around.
"Hello, Beast Boy," she said formally, her voice wavering slightly. He stood there for a moment, extremely surprised that she didn't tell him to leave her alone immediately.
"Um, what's up?" he asked. Raven grunted in reply. "I suppose you want me to leave now, huh?" Beast Boy inquired. Raven didn't answer immediately.
"No," she said, sparking a bit of hope in him. "It's none of my business. It's not my roof."
Not exactly an invitation, but not a verbal attack, either. Beast Boy decided to risk it, walking over and sitting down on the edge beside her, dangling his legs over. She didn't protest. In fact, she didn't even acknowledge the fact that he had moved.
"Are you OK?" he asked. She didn't respond with any more than a shrug. But she was only acting nonchalant. It was completely obvious. "So, um, I'm sorry...about what I said earlier."
"You didn't do anything," Raven said .
"Dude, I called you creepy."
"You already apologized for that. And we agreed that you were right. There's nothing to apologize for."
"Yeah, but look at me. I'm green for god's sake. I'm creepy too. We all are. That must be some sort of qualification for being on the team, huh?" Beast Boy joked, but something told him Raven wasn't in the mood (if she ever was, that is). He looked sideways at her, and noticed dark streaks on her face. "Whoa, time out, were you crying?" he asked. Raven shrugged again.
"No," she said coldly, lying through her teeth.
"Come on Rae, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Beast Boy said.
She floated down to sit on the roof and turned her head away from him.
"Why would you care, anyway?" she asked, a cynical edge creeping into her voice. Beast Boy stared at her in surprise, leaning over to look her in the face. She averted her eyes from him.
"What do you mean? Of course I care. You're my friend, Raven," he said delicately. "I love you."
Raven stared at him. Beast Boy realized what he had said.
"Dude, didn't mean that the way it sounded," he said, holding his hands out in front of him defensively.
"Then how did you mean it?" Raven asked, no expression whatsoever on her face. Beast Boy paused for a moment. How had he meant it? He hadn't even been conscious to the fact that it had come out of his mouth.
"I'm not sure. I would say I love you like a sister, but, -no offense- I really doubt a sister would hate me like this, so, I love you like...a cousin? OK, so I don't really know what I meant." Beast Boy said, shrugging.
"I don't hate you," Raven stated simply. "And as far as this conversation goes, it should already be over. Yes, I'm hurt. But it has nothing to do with you. This is about Malchior. There is no possible way you could understand," she continued. Beast Boy opened his mouth to protest, but Raven cut him off. "Yes, you understand what it's like to have your heart broken. You understand pain and betrayal, and how it feels afterward. You don't, however, understand how it feels to be hurt and know that in it you're completely and utterly alone." she stared blankly ahead at the rippling waters of the bay. "You could never understand."
"Come on, Rave. No matter what happens, you're never, ever alone." Beast Boy said. This time it was his turn to cut Raven off when she attempted to protest. "You have us. And even if you were alone, I would understand. Everybody else, including you, got hurt when Terra betrayed us. But I really, really liked her-if you know what I mean- so it hurt me more. So yeah, I felt like I was alone." he paused. "But I wasn't, and neither are you. You could never be alone when people care this much about you."
Raven looked at him. He could see that though she had been working hard to conceal it, there were still tears in her eyes, tears that had been running down her cheeks as he talked. When she noticed him looking at her, she attempted to hold them in once more.
"That may be, Beast Boy, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop hurting, just because you say you care about me," she said, still staring at the water.
"I do care about you," he said, placing a hand on her arm. "We all do. You know we hate to see you like this. I know it's not going to stop how you hurt, but it might help." he paused once more. "I can't understand how he could stand to do something like this to you."
"Of course he could stand to. He never cared about me. He only used me for his own personal gain. That's the way people are; they use people to get what they want, and don't try to deny it." she took a breath. "They use people like me. People stupid enough to actually believe them." a look of dull anger worked its way into her eyes.
"You are not stupid. He used your feelings against you," Beast Boy said.
"Feelings? Who am I to understand feelings? That's why he used me, why anybody would use me. Because I could never truly love, but it would be so easy to make me believe that I do," Raven said.
"Not everybody's like that. You've got to see that there's people worth trusting. There's people who would never do that," Beast Boy continued, starting to see that getting through to her was next to impossible.
"Like who? Name one person who wouldn't use me like that. Just one. I dare you," Raven snapped, a harsh look in her eyes. BB flinched but stood his ground.
"Like me," he said. "I would never hurt you."
"Wow. One in hundreds of millions of people. And if the situation was right, you would. You're human- well, sort of. It's something you can't escape." she said. BB had never heard such a display of cynicism.
"It doesn't matter what was happening, I would never, not in a million years, hurt you like that," BB said, staring her straight in the eye until she looked back.
"Honestly? How can you be so sure?" Raven asked.
"Because I know I could never hurt someone like that. Especially not my friend," he said, giving her a weak smile. "I'm really, really sorry he hurt you. A broken heart is never fun."
Raven didn't even attempt to smile back. There was such sadness in her eyes the BB felt like crying himself. He longed to hug her, or something, just to help ease the pain a little. But he knew it would be futile.
He sat there for a moment, watching her stare off at nothing. It was obvious she was trying not to cry in front of him.
He scooted sideways a bit on the roof, bracing himself for the punch that she would surely deliver into his face, and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. She jumped, a bit surprised, and he released her immediately.
"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "That was for earlier, when I freaked out when you did that to me. I'll understand completely if you want to punch m-"
Very suddenly Raven wrapped her arms around him and returned his embrace, which stunned him a bit. But he slowly hugged her back, and she completely broke down.
"Why did he have to do this to me? Why am I the way I am, anyway? And how could I be so stupid?" Raven asked very quickly. BB was a bit taken aback by her sudden openness. He didn't know the answers she wanted to hear, but he hugged her gently and muttered again that she wasn't stupid. She just sat there, surprisingly, and allowed him to rock her gently for a while before finally lifting her head from his shoulder. He let her go.
"Well, that was thoroughly embarrassing," she said in her normal voice once. BB shrugged. There was a pause. "Beast Boy, thank you. For understanding," she said. "I think I'm going to be alright now." she stood up and turned to go inside.
Suddenly, Raven turned back around for a moment. She paused, looking a bit nervous, and kissed Beast Boy's cheek. His eyes widened and he blushed.
"You're right, I'm never alone." she hesitated for a moment. She smiled lightly, something he rarely saw her do. "I love you too."
And then she went inside. Beast Boy followed, in awe of what could happen when you were simply being there for a friend.
Aww, I feel happy for them. Well, that was my first BB/Rae piece. Hope you liked it. Please R/R!