Author: Claudia & Carlos
Rated: G
Pairings: None
Characters Involved: Kitty and Kurt
Warnings: None. Well it is rather depressing.... but that is about it.
Extra Notes: This was RPed out between my ex-BF and I, and it was really good so I figured I would change a few things and turn it into a fanfic. So all description and anything having to do with Nightcrawler was done by Carlos, thus meaning anything done with Shadowcat, was me. Please send me any feeback, good or bad and wither this type of fiction would work out for me in the future or not.

One would think that after years of being with Excalibur..and even the months since that had disbanded, that Kurt Wagner was once more an unknown in the planet.. yet somehow, that little white envelope had still found him.Straight from the church came The Nightcrawler, and with eyes of burning yellow he stepped from the cab.. hearing the mild utterance in his direction from the human driver, before finally just ignoring it and moving toward the doorway.. it had been years since he was intented in the'school for Gifted Youngsters' but he remembered the place as if it were yesterday. The hood of his coat was drawn down, as he moved toward the doorand knocked.. the ol'laughing Kurt wasn't around much anymore.. years of torturous battles and the loss of one of his dearest friends drove him to be a much more... dark man. He supposed he had it coming though, a tap to the negative dimension mind as well harbor negative feelings huh?

Kitty was up in her room, finishing a few last minute things on her computer when she heard the knock. She quickly got up as a smile crossed her face for she was eager to see who else whould be showing up next. Wearing a loose pair of black slacks, and a white, laced shirt that hung loosely from her chest, she phased through the floor, landing softly in the foyer. She ran a hand through her hair that was now down to her waist, as she took a deep breath and opened the door. After all, she had been through quite alot of changes herself. Her eyes went wide as she saw it was Kurt! One of her many close friends. She gave him a hug before stepping back and opening the door for him to get in. Her hair wasn't the only thing that changed, but she also had the lockheed tatoo on her left shoulder. She smiled softly even though she could till this wasn't the same Kurt that she had known so long ago. "It's been so long! How have you been doing recently Kurt?"

"Vonderful, you?" She knew Piotr too.. but couldn't have been nearly as damaged as Kurt at his loss.. sure they were lovers, but Kurt well he was the selfish type. Having had nothing of a past, and ultimately with his looks.. no chance at a future, Colossus was his rock.. the only piece he had to hold on too... the only man, who saw the blue furred beast.. as a man at all. With a slight tail twitch, ever the popular sign of his lying he decided to maneuver into the mansion.. looks like the Professor rounded up a bunch of old.. "alumni" and summoned them all.. for what? A Barbecue? Kurt knew one thing at least... better get off that mailing list.

She smiled as she closed the door behind him, before gently pulling in his hand into the rec room so they could talk. "I am doing rather good actually.." Well wasn't that a lie. She hadn't been able to sleep at all this past week, for this manor housed so many memories of the people she had cared for and lost, it was almost to much for her stand. Not to mention she had found an old picture of her and Illyana in their old room that she was staying in. It was rather faded from age and she had no idea how it got there, but that really set off the memories she had tried to forget with being off in college now and everything. She continued to smile though as she pulled herself up on the back of the couch, letting her hazel eyes gaze into his,trying hard to hide how little sleep she had been getting recently.

He never slept... never got tired, not anymore.. He simply moved to a chair.. a bit off, so that she couldn't touch him again and took a crouching seat upon it. Even the damned furniture was the same.. how many times had he sat in this very room... and talked to the only man Kurt ever felt as true family. Family... funny word for the circus-born mutant, funny yet so out of reach. The black clad man was ultimately different in appearance as well as demeanor.. usually so vibrant, so alive... and tending to where clothes of the same type. Now, he seemed dead already.. it wasn't hard to tell that his hair wasn't properly groomed this morning, and his eyes lacked the usual luster and freedom that was locked behind each yellow iris.

Seeing Kurt like this made Kitty's heart sink. What had happened to make him so... different. I mean she knew people changed but he was even distancing himself from her. Not wanting to ponder on it, she shook her head as she still kept that smile on her face, which was getting harder to keep seeing Kurt crouch there like that. "Well, it's been a while so you mind telling me what you have been up to all these years?" She then let her eyes glance to a picture she didn't notice before and quickly turned away. Why did Xavier have to keep so many pictures of them around. She also began to wonder if anyone else was feeling the same way she was about this whole thing. In fact, she hoped this would get over with so she could back to trying to be normal, going to college and even working as a waitress.

"Nothing special.. Living.. sadly.. " The last word, had been mumbled beneath his breath. He didn't dare turn to the picture she had to have noted for her to break her gaze away so quickly.. Xaviers dream class huh? Show's ya how much they really were good for. Kurt sighed.. how often had that happened in previous years? The haggard old-looking man, seemed so weary in that familiar crouch.. Even though he wasn't dressed as a hero, was it as apparent to everyone around him that the burning heart that was always noticed seemed to have kindled down to a low fire? The man was dead.. his body just didn't know it yet.

She caught the last word as she bit her lip and once again looked over his apperance. He wasn't that old and already he looked like he was already sixty. She rose a brow wondering if she should in fact ask about that last comment, but decided against. Perhaps if he was the Kurt she knew long ago, she would but he seemed so different now, she coudln't stand to see him like that. No one else had changed this much when they arrived. Biting her lip, she got up as she ran her hands along her jeans. brushing them off like they were actually dirty. She then looked up and smiled again. "Well, since you are here... can I get you something to eat or maybe drink?" Just then Lockheed came flying down and perched on her shoulder. At least you have't changed on me she thought to herself as she made her way into the kitchen. Not even waiting for Kurt's response. She wasn't being rude, she just didn't like seeing someone she care about look so... depressed. She also had to figure out how to get him to cheer up at least a little bit.

He expected her.. and anyone else who might've answered the door... to exit his company as fast as possible. He knew that he wasn't a pretty sight, and that only seemed to drop him more and more down that gulf of depression. Self-image always was a thing for Kurt to dwell on.. not even human in basic structure, how could one not dwell on the fact that he was a monster? He shrugged lightly and moved from the seat.. now examining the various pictures and things upon the walls and mantlepiece.. Those were so many years ago.. most of the photos at least, and he seemed so young.. so vibrant.. he could almost remember swearing that he'd change the world. What changed? Just the fact that now he had nothing to depend on... nothing but himself, and God Above.. and maybe.. some day, if he served his penance on this rat-filled hole of a planet, he'd get to see the only family he'd ever known once again. Sure..brothers.. born countries.. and years apart. but brother's nonetheless.

Kitty came back with two cups of coffee and then stopped just outside the rec room as she saw Kurt look at those pictures. The same ones she looked at when she arrived. Shaking her head, she walked over to Kurt and handed him a mug of coffee. "Since it looks like both you and I haven't slept in a long time, what harm can coffee do to us know hmm..?" She took a sip as she let her eyes once again divert away from the pictures. She had yet to figure out something on how to get Kurt out of his funk, but perhaps it was because she wasn't to far below him in that department. She just found it easier to hide it all she guessed. She leaned against the table with the pictures as she took another sip of coffee. She didn't want to leave him right yet. After all, she was looking forward to seeing him. But his change of demanor got to her, but she just shook her head for she knew that leaving him alone wouldn't help the situation with either him or her either.

He put the mug on the counter, and moved away from it..Kurt passing down coffee.. that was a hellworthy trespass! He sighed audibly and moved to his seat again, once more resuming that vigilant crouch:: "What did za profezzor vant? I'm eager to get 'ome" Home.. back to his cubicle..back to the same life he'd always lived... Fighting.. endless fighting, for survival.. of both his own life, and the humans around him. Most of whom would spit at him if he ever gave them the chance. Maybe Mystique and all them weren't so far off with their assumptions.. Kitty, she would be accepted, but Kurt.. would he ever find someone.. human, who looked past his obvious failures

Kitty was shocked that Kurt Wagner of all people would pass up coffee. She let out a soft sigh as she took one more sip before setting her mug down next to his to walk over to him. She wasn't afraid of him. Heck, they were so close before everyone went there seperate ways, she wasn't going to let this change of his mood throw her off. Of course it would be rather hard with her mood being where it was, but she would try. She walked behind him as she let her hands rest on his shoulders to give him a massage and could feel just how tense he was. She continued to work those muscles as she sighed. "I don't know what he has up Kurt. I wish I knew for I would like to get back home as well. This place has way to many memories for me... unpleasent ones that I want to forget..." She spoke the last part softly under her breath as she continued to try and loosen his muscles, now letting her hands move to the middle of his back.

Bamf! And all those hands were gripping were whisps of smoke, and the tendrils of purple haze that seemed to drift through the air he once occupied. Good thing he'd tilted his heead to the edge of the room first huh? And now he appeared beside the large windows that predominated one half of the room, leaning his light, almost anorexic frame against the wooden structure between window panels

She sighed as he teleported away from her. This was getting harder on her. She was hoping he of all people would be able to help her out.. try to relax since they seemed to be depressed about the same person. She sat down on the chair he had sat in and sighed as she let her face fall in her hands. This wasn't going the way she had planned. Where was Jean and Ororo when she needed them? She sighed as she looked up to Kurt once more."Kurt, what is wrong... I know this place brings back painful memories... but.." She sighed as she bit her lip, knowing he probably wouldn't say anything to her. At least that hadn't changed about him. The fact that he would still keep to himself what was truly bothering him.

"Painful memories sure... But zey are ze only memories I have Katya.... I cannot look back to my family vor zupport.. cannot look to vriends.. all I have is myself, and this place reminds me zat." Family.. it was a word that always silenced Kurt. He knew he had a loving mother.. for the twenty minutes before she threw him from a bridge.. Even then, Margali was good to him.. but she was never family, none of them were.. He was always different and he knew it. He couldn't look back to those times of being 'normal' he never was.. Nobody understood that, between being laughed at and feared by children, to being laughed at and feared by adults.. Kurt didn't really have all that sudden of a change in his life. Oh.. now he could get away from the mobs faster.. yay.

She bit her lip hearing this. What about her and Logan? Didn't they mean anything to him anymore? She sighed as she rolled her eyes before getting up from her chair. "Kurt, you have me still... and Logan... and we are your friends. We may not be as close as you were to.... " She cringed saying it. "Piotr... but damn it, don't we mean anything to you?" She was trying to keep her voice soft and low, for she didn't need an argument to break out now either. That would only make things much worse then what they already were.

"You and Logan... you.. in ze college.. wouldn't zink zat your profezzor vould like my showing up.. and Logan.. who knows where ze hell he iz all ze time? I have me.. alvays me.. " He was the as always.. the silent sufferer.. They didn't miss him too much did they? He wasn't hard to locate, they could've at least written him.. He got a card from Bryan and Meggan.. but not those that called themselves 'friends' and Bryan hated him! He only sighed softly and dropped to a crouch near that window. He wasn't alive, but one could tell blood was pumping.. at least the argument seemed to heat him up a bit.

"Well of course I am in College! I mean, I am just trying to be normal now that everything seems to have calmed down! And besides, when you left.. I had no idea where you were staying so I could in fact send you a letter!" Her fists clinched together at her sides as she took a deep breath."But fine then. If you are just going to sit there and loathe is self pity, ten times more than what you did in the past, then by all means do it!" She stormed out of the room before she floated up through the ceiling to head back to her room. Well this was great. She was looking forward to seeing him and he had to go and throw it in her face. He wasn't the only one who had to suffer alone.

Ever see Kurt get angry? Well.. too bad she floated away before she could watch as a fist. (all composed of three fingers nonetheless) seemed to empty the space of the window.. Shattering it upon impact with the flesh turned missle.. blood..great idea.. come 'home', shatter a window, bleed all over the place. Wait, bleeding? He turned and looked down to a fist with crisscrossed stains of red flashing across it.. to fur, matted thick with the sticky subtance, and finally felt the stinging pain he was expecting.. To hell with this journey, it was all for nothing.. if Professor wanted a reunion.. he'd have to find another blue-furred teleporter

She didn't quite make it to her room when she heard the crash. Using her arm to wipe the tears from her face she quickly ran down the stairs into the rec room and saw the broken window with Kurt's bleeding hand. She ran to the kicthen to get a few bandages and some tape before she came back in the room and walked over to him. Not once hesitating, but she also didn't say anything as she took his hand and wrapped the gauze around it, before closing it off with tape. She then glanced once more to the window. "Well, did that make you fee better breaking a window open like that..?" She said, quickly letting go of his hand before turning to look to him.

"No... it juzt hurt alot... Ow.." He seemed.. pained, and he cringed as she grabbed his hand.. did she have to be so rough!? He sighed, though a slight smile came to his lips, and he even let his free hand pat her on the head as a signal that he was okay.. " I fell.. it hit me hand, I zwear it... Nurse.."

Kitty gave a weak smile. "Right... well either way.. keep that bandage on your hand for a few days. It doesn't look deep enough that it'll need stitches." She finally let out a soft laugh when he patted her on the head, but she bit her lip. It felt good to be laughing, but how did she know this wasn't some show he was putting on either. She smiled softly as an idea occured to her. She went around the room, turning over all the pictures so neither one of them would be seeing it and having it haunt them. Hopefully this would work a bit as she then went back to the chair, that same small smile upon her plae face with those bloodshot eyes. She continued to watch him carefully, waiting to see how he would react next.

"Get some sleep.. You look like shite" He merely looked down at the hand.. so that's what actual pain felt like.. these human miscreants couldn't lay a hand on the whirling tornado that was NIghtcrawler,and for years.. only those stupid mauraders had preyed upon the weak in Berlin. The speed of the german-born man was incredible as he seemed to move from his crouch in one fluid motion, knees flexing as his feet pushed him into the air, and body did a complete hundred and eighty degrees to keep him forced to that ceiling, a comfortable crawl brought him all the closer. "My pain comes from zis... You.. and Logan zee me az ze man I could become.. I zee me as ze man I'll never be.... Piotr.. he alvays zaw me az who I vas.. and zat vas enough for him"

Kitty smirked hearing him tell her to get some sleep.Okay, so he was still concerned about her. That made her relax a bit, but she let her eyes wander up to where he was on the ceiling. She then cringed a bit hearing Piotr's name, but she continued to keep her eyes on him. "I know Kurt. Piotr was truly special... but the way he thought, what he believed was also different from most others." She sighed as she let her face fall into her hands. "Still, is there anything wrong with seeing you as the man you could become? I mean..." She sighed again, not even sure what to say. She of all people had no idea what to say next. She shook her head, lifting it up to let her eyes glance up to him once more.

"You miz him... I know.. he vas yer lover.. I underztand yer pain. " No he didn't.. he never really missed a lover. Not really, they were all flings to Kurt.. and most people knew that. Still if any real feeling existed he would've never told that girl. He suffered silently, and having watched her drop her head in her hands, he couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor woman. She lost alot, he knew.. and he was acting selfish after all.. but still, he couldn't blame himself.. deep down inside he knew that his loss was as great as hers.

"Not just him... but Illyana.." She looked back up giving a weak smile. "I mean... I still wish there was something we could have done to stop him... but in the end even we couldn't do anything." She ran a hand through her hair that seemed to just never end now it seemed. She then let her eyes continue to watch him. "And I still don't think you understand it either. For I know I don't understand it all myself. Which is why I haven't been able to sleep... since I've arrived.. to many memories, to many nightmares, and spending to much time trying to make sense of everything." Now she was babbling. If only she could sleep like she wanted to so badly, but even sleeping aids didn't seem to help her.

"Illyana vas your lover too!? Oh vat a tangled web..... " Leave it to him to miss the obvious eh? He sighed softly and let his body fall, ceasing the negative ions from gripping his body to the ceiling as he tumbled end over and hit the ground, stinging hand coming down to balance as once again the hunting cat he seemed to be. His mutation was a gift to one who walked in the darkness, cloaking all but those eerie yellow eyes of his, twin flames rising beyond mountain crest to stare into one's soul. "And as for no sleep, vant me to knock ya out?"

Kitty smirked at his comments as she shook her head. "Yes Kurt, Illyana and I were lovers... but only in your fantasies I'm sure." She cracked a small grin for he knew what she meant all to well. His next comment made her roll her eyes. "Knock me out? That's okay... I would like to wake up without being in a lot pain. But if this keeps up, I just might have to take you up on the offer." The grin went back into the weak smile, which felt rather comfortable right now. She let out a huge sigh, almost taking a deep breath at the same time and closed her eyes before opening them back up to look to Kurt once again.

"My dreams.. I don't have time to dream! I zpend it all verrying about ze next mob... How can I have erotic dreams? come now... "He shook his head in mock anger at her not knowing him as well as she thought, then grinned and dropped his crouch even lower, his stomach hitting the ground as arms and legs fanned out enough to give him the leverage he needed, with a tiny bit of a ...growl? He leapt, and his high powered legs carried that gaunt frame, far over her seat, far past her. and into the wall just above the mantle, where hand snaked down to grab his mug of coffee, and believe you me, it takes alot of practice to drink upside down.

This caught Kitty off guard as she broke into a soft laughter before she let her face relax to go back to that serious look she seemed to have carried around with her lately since she had been back "home". "Well, it isn't like I know what you have been up to these past couple of years, so how was I supposed to know you were running from what you call a mob." She said in mock annoyance, glad to feel a little bit of the pressue and tension go away. She still wasn't sure what to make of him though. But she knew if she tried to figure him out, even her with her intelligence, it would probably make her go insane. She just shook her head as she continued to let her eyes look to him. Geez... she kind of wished she had that kind of energy now.

"No no no .. normal people are ze mob.. aint ya ever zeen frankenstein? A monster! Grab your torches! GET HIM!!! " He almost shouted as he brandishes his mug as if it were a flaming torch, then putting on the face of what could only be described as a neanderthal, with sloping forhead and everything he started trunking along the floor which he'd dropped to. Back and forth, as if marching, and ever brandishing his 'torch'.

Now this time Kitty broke out into laughter and for once she coudln't stop it as she saw Kurt go back to being his old self. She knew it would probably wouldn't last, but why not enjoy it while she could. She then rolled her eyes as she put a hand over her chest from laughing to hard. She finally calmed down to where she was just grinning softly, as she watched him continue to make fun of those who tormented them all for so many years, and still do many years later.

Them? Oh no! She could meld into the mob.. not like she has the word 'mutant' tattooed on her ass. and if she did.. Kurt would love to see it, but he stopped, draining the rest of his mug in one step, and then took hers in hand and drained that one too. Finally clambering over the couch he ripped the bandage from his hand, yup.. it was annoying, so he just up and tossed it out the broken window, sitting down cautiously he looked at his hand.. which was healing.. yay for his little 'healing factor'... moreso his body was good at it.. because it became pained at each port.. he had to recoop somehow didn't he?

Kitty smirked seeing him take the bandage off and forgot for a moment that he did have a small healing factor in him. She just shook her head as she got up and made her way over to the couch to sit next to him, before she turned to look down at his hand. "Well, I am glad to see it stopped bleeding... just don't go doing that again." Yes, she could probably meld into the mob, but once the mob saw her perform such a charade, then they would know what she was. It may not show on the outside, but she knew that seeing someone walk through any solid matter wasn't exactly written down in their book about being normal. She leaned back against the armrest as she crossed her legs so she was sitting indian style, as she continued to watch curiously to see what he would do next. Her mood had lightened, but she knew that once she went up to her room... it wouldn't be long before she became depressed yet again.

Forgive him for looking around, he seemed just.. dead. Though a bit of livlihood has returned to those eyes that once seemed as empty and cold as Siberia... he turned to look at her, and rose from the couch.. now walking quietly as once again he turned. "Meggan and Brian are good... He's still being a prick though.. " He never liked Brian much.. everyone knew it, and Kurt was always the real leader of the team.. Mr. Braddock was good for nothing but still who really cared?

Kitty saw him walk out and wander away to god knows where. Letting out another sigh, she brought her legs out form under her so she would be laying on the couch, with her arms behind her head. She let everything that her and Kurt talked about tonight sink in, and in some morbid way, it made her feel a bit better that she in fact wasn't alone. Letting out a small yawn, she closed her eyes, once again trying to get some sleep.

(The End)