Unicorns, Dragons, and (Beautiful) Princesses


Disclaimer: I do not own DB/Z/GT or any other anime. I'm not creative enough to come up with several different races, alphabets to go with them, several different plots to keep readers and viewers entertained, main characters that totally kick ass...oh! I'm sorry, I was rambling. Well, on with the fic!

Author's Note: This will be my first humor fic so go easy on me. It's some stupid little thing that might turn out to be a one shot. I really don't know but it will be rather short. Well, here we go.

It was raining outside. The women had gone to shop. Unfortunately, Bulma and ChiChi had insisted that Goku stay with Vegeta, Goten, Trunks, and Marron while they were out. Oh the kids were perfectly fine with it but the men...well...they weren't so happy with it. Vegeta sat on one side of the room while Goku was on another. The three kids had their little faces pressed up against the window, their noses made into pig snouts as their breathing fogged up the glass.

"Rain sucks." Trunks said.

"Yup." Goten and Marron agreed.

"Hey!" Goten cried. "I've got an idea!" Both Trunks and Marron began to snicker. Goten's eyes darkened. He rose to his feet and walked to his dad. "Daddy, can you and Vegeta tell us a story?" He asked.

"Yeah!" Trunks and Marron jumped up, running to Vegeta and tugging hm to the middle of the room while Goten tugged at Goku. The two men plopped down forcibly next to each other, surrounded by the three children.

"A story?" Goku asked, scratching his head as he looked up at the ceiling. His face brightened and he looked down at the three. "Okay."

Once upon a time, there was a little boy named...uh...what should his name be? Oh...Fred. He lived up in the mountains with his grandfather. Fred was incredibly strong for his size. One night, he looked up at a full moon and fell asleep...

"Kakarot! We all know where this is going." Vegeta cleared his throat and began.

There once was a man, a king! He was handsome, smart, powerful and feared by all. Oh! And he was tall, very tall.

"Vegeta, this is about you!" Goku whined.

"Well yours was about you!"

"Tell a story about a unicorn!"

"And a dragon!"

"And a beautiful princess." (Guess who said these.)


Once upon a time in a faraway land, there lived a unicorn, dragon and princess.

"You left out beautiful!" Marron screetched. Goku looked down at her, his eyes wide.

Okay. Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a unicorn, dragon and beautiful princess. They all lived in peace and sparred often.

"Princesses don't fight!" Marron shrieked again. The four males cringed.

"Kakarot! Shut up!" Vegeta yelled.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived a unicorn, dragon and princess.

"You left out beautiful!"

"Shut up!" Vegeta yelled at the five year old.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a unicorn, dragon, and beautiful princess. One day, the dragon was hungry so he stomped to the castle and blew it down with his Gallic Gun.

"Dad." Trunks said. "Dragons don't have Gallic Gun."

"Yeah. They don't fight with energy. They breathe fire." Goten said. Vegeta sighed angrilly.

Fine! Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a unicorn, dragon, and princess...


"Beautiful! Okay, the princess was beautiful! Shut up!" Vegeta yelled.

"I'll take it from here." Goku said.

One day, when the princess was out in a field near the castle, playing with the unicorn, a dragon stomps into the clearing. The princess cried out and hid behind the unicorn. 'I don't want to hurt you, Princess. I'm just looking for my...uh, what was the dragon looking for?

Dragonballs. An evil unicorn took them and I want them back.' The unicorn took a step forward and poked the dragon in the foot.

"Hey! That wasn't very nice!" Goku yelled.

"The damn unicorn took the dragon's balls!...uh." Vegeta stopped, pondering this for a moment.

Anyway. 'I think you have me mistaken for another unicorn. I'm not evil and I would never steal another person's balls...wait. "Something's wrong with that, Vegeta." Goku said.

"Ya think!"

"Can we just get on with the story?" Goten asked.

Alright! 'Well, since I'm hungry, I'll eat you anyway.' The dragon bent down and with one bite, ate the unicorn. The dragon burped and looked down at the princess. 'I'm still hungry so I think I'll eat you, too.' The dragon said to the princess and ate her, too.

"There." Vegeta and Goku looked down to find the kids gone.

"The dragon just can't eat the unicorn and princess! That's not right!" Goku yelled.

"The dragon is bigger, badder, and better! He can do whatever the hell he wants!" Vegeta yelled back.


The door opened and Bulma, ChiChi, and 18 walked in. The three kids bounced around the women.

"Well, what did you three do while we were gone?" Bulma asked.

"Daddy told us a story." Goten said.

"Yeah, it was cool!" The three women followed the kids into the living room. Vegeta and Goku sat facing each other on the couch, arguing about something that sounded like unicorns, dragons, and princesses. The women looked at each other, confused. They rolled their eyes and walked away.


Author's Note: So, what did you think? Stupid, huh? I'd only intended it to be a one shot. Well, it was rated PG for the slight language. I don't know if anyone picked up on the sexual humor or not. I hadn't intended to put that in there, but it goes well with the fic. See ya!