Hello everyone! I have returned! Okay, I'm a little fuzzy on how to do this so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes or the stupid font isn't working. glares I got this idea right after I watched Shrek 2, and I hope this comes out as good as I thought it would be, saying that my humor skills have died and left me talent less in that area. :) Sorry if the chapter is short, but my time on the computer is limited. And I don't own anything. Duh!

Let's see, this takes place a while after the movie, and Shrek and Fiona are visiting Lillian and Harold again for Fiona's birthday, don't ask me how old she is, I'll figure that out later. Donkey is there too, with one of his mutant babies, and Puss is currently single and hanging out at the castle with everyone as well, since he is the main character of this story.... --

The alley was dark and damp, with only a few rodents running around the shadows at this time of day. Usually the alleys were deserted, except for a few workers from nearby restaurants or someone taking a shortcut to Farbucks. The sun didn't shine much on this part of the alley, and the only sounds were the squeaking of mice and the sound of boots lightly walking over the pavement. And was that... purring? A few mice exchanged nervous glances as the purring became louder, and a cat stepped out into the few rays of the sun.

Puss in Boots purred contentedly as he wandered down the alley, happy that he was able to do some exploring outside of the castle. Since Fiona and Shrek were at the castle planning for Fiona's birthday party, and Donkey was showing his... er... child around Far Far Away, it was up to Puss to find something to entertain himself with. So he had slipped away from the maids who seemed to love his little furry self a little too much, hopped onto the nearest carriage downtown, and started his 'grand adventure' as it were. He had to be back in time for dinner though, and he knew it was almost time to head back.

Tail swishing in thought, Puss quickly made his way down the alley, turning out into the street that led straight to the castle. It was a little far, not to mention uphill. The feline sighed and looked around, wondering how much it would cost to get a ride up there. There didn't seem to be any around, and he was just about to start walking when he spied something across the street. With a smile he walked up to one of the carriages in front of Old Knavery, noting that it was an onion, and leaned against it, knowing who was inside the store. Just his luck.

After a few minutes Donkey came out, followed by his kid, who Puss couldn't remember its name, for some strange reason. Donkey was busy talking about the new donkey fashion trend that had swept over all the country and would soon be here in a couple of weeks, and that if his kid was a good boy then maybe they could go and get some cool donkey clothes. Puss didn't say anything about that, but he wondered what on Earth Donkey was thinking. Instead he said, "Hola, amigo. Might I ride with you back to the castle?"

"Of course! There's always room for friends!" This seemed to remind him of a song, because he sang all the way to the castle, and when Puss was just about to go insane with it, his kid started in too! By the time they arrived at the castle Puss was ready to throttle someone and skewer them with his sword. Luckily he didn't have to. Donkey's kid jumped out of the onion and up the stairs into the castle, followed by his dad. Puss climbed out gracefully and followed them to the dining room, where Fiona and Shrek were waiting for them.

It was a really good meal, except when Shrek and Fiona held a belching contest and he had to be the judge, and then Donkey's kid belched and burned the milk that was for Puss. One of the chefs gave Puss a new drink, and it was really good, even though it wasn't the same.

"What is this? It's really good." Puss asked, holding up the glass of the unknown liquid.

"Uh... I don't know, I think it's something new that the chef tried. I'll tell him you like it." Fiona answered, belching again.

"Maybe it's some kind of new Farbuck's drink." Puss murmured, draining the glass and purring quietly. He was still purring when he excused himself from the table and went back to his room. Since the bed was rather big, on top of it was a basket with some blankets and a pillow. It was just the right size for him. Yawning, he kicked off his boots and laid his hat on a chair, leaving his sword by the basket, and curled up in his bed.

He awoke to feel a searing pain in his stomach, and he moaned quietly as he tried to get up. All he could manage was a few feet before the pain struck again. ((I've had stomach aches like this before, and it's true, it hurts so bad you can't walk. shudders)) After a few moments the pain subsided, and he was able to sit up and think. What was happening? Puss had never felt pain as bad as this, and he had no clue what caused it. Shrugging, he climbed back into bed, ready to believe that it was a dream. Right as he closed his eyes the pain flared up, and he vomited over the side of the basket. Moaning, he coughed and whimpered as the pain went away again. Shaking, he curled up in the basket and shut his eyes, wanting nothing more right now for it to stop. And it did. Before he knew it he had drifted off into a restless sleep full of nightmares and other horrors full of pain and despair.

Okay, review and tell me what you thought. I will post more if I get at least one POSITIVE review, since I've got most of this planned out and I actually have time to do this! Yay! does happy dance