Title: Septuplets

Author: purplemud

Rating: PG

Category: H/Hr and R/Lu

Sub: A bit of angst, fluff and humor

Author's note: Er, the usually weird fics that I'd always come up with. A real nightmare fics that is: (1) Un beta-ed, (2) No clear plot, (3) Weird time line, (4) Even weirder characterization and lastly, (5) A very silly ending.

Now, if, after all the warning and you still decide to read on, please do be kind with the reviews! Hehehe.

Now, on with the show... shall we?

Chapter 1

The Couple

Screening time. At least that's what I call it.

It's the first thing that Harry does every morning. He screens every boy that would try to look at Hermione. Like he'd actually give his stamp of approval. Well, for all I know, he had stamped it on himself. Secretly of course. I'm sure that he has the Harry Potter Seal of Approval somewhere... probably on his bum so that no one else would see it.

I remember teasing him once if he'd put the mark on me so that I could date Hermione and I swear, he turned green. He did. It was quite hilarious actually but I didn't think he appreciated the joke because I had to go to class that day with a pair of whiskers on my face but then again, Harry always had such a limited sense of humor.

For instance, he didn't find it funny when Hermione commented that Malfoy was starting to look cute. Personally, I thought it was funny.

Cute was a term I would not want to be associated with in the first place. I remembered how Hagrid announced to the whole class that mud-sucking giant leeches were cute and I figured Hermione meant that Malfoy was starting to look stupid, ugly and horrible all at the same time but Harry had obviously taken it the wrong way. And when the next morning Malfoy came in at the Great Hall looking like he had been a test subject for, what Hermione would call as: genetic mutation, lets just say I have my list of suspects, Harry being all of them.

And now here at the common room with several of the boys, the younger ones especially, watching Hermione as she descends the stair, Harry's eyes is growing wary and he's not too happy that Colin is attempting to ask for Hermione's help in Potions.

I want to tell Harry to relax, that Hermione isn't interested in Colin or anyone for that matter but Harry would probably just ignore me or go berserk, as he did the last time I tried to assure him that Hermione would never ever date.

He had misinterpreted it and had been very upset the whole day, sprouting frown lines on his face that didn't disappear until Madam Pomfrey went on to cast an anti-aging spell on him. Well, maybe I did sort of forgot to add that Hermione would never ever date anyone but him...

He's gone a bit crazy over her.

I sneak a quick glance at Hermione's direction. (I don't want to go to class as a full-pledged cat or whatever it is that Harry would fancy turning me into). She isn't someone I'd stare at for longer than five minutes. I mean, sure she's nowhere near as repulsive as Bullstrode, but I have out-grown my brief childhood crush for her.

For a while, I thought that we'd make a great couple. Especially since a lot of people thought that it's interesting the way we bicker.

The many arguments, well, everyone had chalked it up to sexual tension and I thought maybe it was that, after all, why else would we scream at each other if it wasn't love? Right?

Well, I was wrong.

It wasn't love at all. It wasn't even anywhere near sexual tension.

Truth be told, I couldn't quite find anything sexy when she starts calling me a daft git or clueless and dense and all the other big words that she'd use, being the smart girl that she is. Her comment about my emotional range being as small as a teaspoon was a major ouch and not a major come-on.

Aside from the high tension bickering, I've heard people say that me and Herm were like Mum and Dad. I thought that was a good sign, until I realized that I didn't want to date someone who'd remind people about my Mum. Aside from it being incredibly weird, it wasn't at all flattering. She does have some of Mum's quality and unfortunately, no offense meant, but those qualities that Herm has, well, they're what makes Mum... well, my Mum, if you get my drift.

Most definitely not girlfriend material.

And then there was that whole case of catching Harry looking at her like... well there's no other way to describe how Harry looks at her.

It's like, Hermione is the sky... someone he's always reaching out for, wanting to have. Like his own piece of heaven. Heavy stuff. I'll just make it simple and compare Hermione to a Snitch. Because Harry just glows whenever he's staring at her and he'd get that intensely, dreamy, needful, longing look in his eyes and just stare at her.

If Hermione ever caught Harry looking at her like that, she'd blush and smile tentatively and then Harry would blush, smile tentatively as well, drop his head, look at her one final time and then force himself to look away.

It's the same bleeding cycle. I've seen it happen too many times that I've memorized the play of emotions on their faces. I think I could even verbalize it. Let's see. Harry's internal reaction would be: Oh no she caught me staring at her! Quick look at the ceiling and pretend you're in awe of it.

Hermione... well, that would be a bit hard, her being a girl and all. I don't think I can ever find out what sort of things girls think of anyway.

Harry starts making low growling noises beside me. I sigh and roll my eyes at the murderous expression imprinted on his face. His eyes are fixed on the Colin who is still talking to Hermione and, whoa, wait, is that his hand on Hermione's sleeves?

"What's Colin's problem?" Harry mutters darkly.

"From what I heard, Snape failed him on their last exam." I inform him casually.

"I hate Snape." He all but announces with silent fury.

"Don't we all?" I ask him rhetorically but he's back to muttering and growling curses. With any luck, Snape just might sprout some whiskers of his own today. I'm trying not to snicker.

Harry has had enough. He speaks up, loud and clear, "Hermione, breakfast."

She looks at him briefly and gives him a reassuring smile, holding up her right hand, palm facing us, indicating that we give her a few more minutes.

Colin is completely oblivious to the death glares Harry is sending towards him as he yet again, tugs on Hermione's sleeves, getting her attention.

I don't need to turn to know that Harry is slowly turning from green to red and then back to green again as Hermione lightly places a hand on Colin's shoulder.

This time, I snicker. (Hey, a guy has his limits!) It's like watching muggle Christmas lights. I should probably take note of this, so come Christmas time I could hang Harry upside down while making all the Gryffindor boys kiss Hermione by the mistletoe, he'd be a perfect decoration in our common room.

"What's so funny?" Harry asks, although he isn't looking at me because his eyes are still stuck on Hermione. I shrug and point at Dean who is innocently tying his shoelaces. Nothing funny there, but it's not like Harry would notice it. I think he has actually forgotten that I exist.

Or that the whole world still existed. He's totally zeroed in on her.

I have to roll my eyes at the complete utter sappiness of it all.

Finally, Hermione bounces towards us. Her eyes are sparkling and I'm guessing that Harry is giving her that lopsided smile and as always, they are going to stupidly smile at each other until I finally speak up or else they'd spend the entire day smiling at each other.

It had happened once and it would most definitely happen again.

Gah, these two are impossible.

If Harry has a screening time, Hermione has a Researching Time. You think she spends all of her time in the library studying. Heh. If people at Hogwarts only knew. Of course, she spends a considerable amount of time studying (massive actually) but on more than onc occasion, she'd most likely to go there just so she can research on who's crushing in on Harry.

How do I know this? Easy, just ask my sister Ginny. The library is the gossip central of the school.

Ginny knows about Harry and Hermione too. In fact she had been the first one who noticed it.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, that's the first part. I hope it was ok. Please feel free to tell me what you think! Uhmm... erm, I just have to say that this fic was a by-product of too much coffee and too little sleep. Hehehe. Many, many thanks in advance for your time (and for the comments as well)!

A little Sneak Peak for the next chapter: The List

My little sister is full of surprises, some of which are amusing although most would someday be the death of me. Like briefly dating Seamus, locking Filch inside the broom closet and joining that bloody awful Reddest Hair contest in Teen Witch Weekly but I guess the most memorable was when she dragged me inside an empty broom closet to announce that Harry is in love with Hermione...

Hope to see you guys in the next chapter. Thanks and take care everyone! (assuming that a lot of people would read this... hehehe) Right. I better shut up now...