Title: I surrender (1/1)
Category: ST: TNG, R/T romance, Deanna's POV
Summary: This story is too short for a summary, so just read it.
Disclaimer: No names, so I don't need one.
Author's note: I wrote this one in like an hour. Just a tiny fic.
This is based on the song I surrender by Celine Dion.
Story takes place...umm... lets say sometime during the first three seasons of TNG.
Thanks to Pia and Angela for helping me.
All feedback is welcome and hoped for but please be gentle.
Copyright (c) 2004 Sunstar
by Sunstar 7/2004
I looked in the mirror and saw a person who was scared; terrified of the feelings she saw reflected on her face.
"That's not true." I tried to tell myself. "The mirror lies. That's NOT how I feel!"
But the mirror didn't lie. I couldn't hide from what was within me anymore.
I thought I had crushed the flame but apparently I hadn't done a good enough job. It had been left to smoulder and now the fire had spread too far. It was too late to stop it. The feelings and emotions were running wild and getting so strong, so desperate, that soon anyone would be able to tell.
"What am I going to do?"
I see him at work everyday and I run into him during off duty hours. There is no way avoiding him and no denying the desire and the dread that race in me every time our eyes meet and his mind touches mine.
There is so much life left to live and I have so many dreams. When I watch him look at me I think I could find the will to stand for all those dreams and give up the fear within.
But it is hard, harder than I ever thought possible.
I've said "no" so many times and turned him down more times than I can count. I don't know if he wants me anymore.
And what about everyone else? What about mother? What would happen if she knew that I had fallen for him, again. She'd be furious.
But I would surrender everything to feel the chance to live again. The time I spent with him when we were younger was the best time of my life, I truly felt alive then.
I don't want to spend another night away from him. I need him in my life. That's something I have to accept. There is no better time than now to break free from the fears and let my love guide me.
I must swallow my pride and take back the words I've said. "Not while we're serving on the same ship." How stupid is that? How could we be together if we were not on the same ship? When he is near I always lose the ability to think straight. I must have said that to protect our careers. But there are many other couples on board. If they can make it work, why couldn't we? If I want my dreams to come true, I can't let anything come between us, not our careers and not my mother.
Just the thought of being with him makes my heart beat faster and my breath catch in my throat. All I have to do is reach out to him, tell him I want to try. He must feel the same. There is no way the flames within me would rise so high without someone fanning them, and since I have been trying to squash them, it must be him doing the fanning.
I know he can make my dreams come true. All I have to do is surrender.
And that's exactly what I do. Walking to his door I surrender.