Disclaimer: I own nothing that I did not create…

Oh redheads heed my warnings now

When you are all alone

From traveling to Corus

For tis there the Rogue calls home

"Oh, Maude. Must you tell these silly stories? I would certainly NEVER fall in love… especially with some thief."

"Now, Alanna. Most little girls enjoy these tales."

"But I'm not "most little girls," I'm Alanna! And some day, I will be the one going off and fighting evil; I won't trust some little man to do it for me."

"But this story is about…"

"The knight saves the girl from the Rogue, they fall in love, and they live happily ever after, I know, I know. I think I hear Coram calling, it's time for my riding lessons."

"One day, Alanna… One day."

He feels no qualms when stealing things

And it is often said does he

From stubborn lasses like yourselves

Take all your property

"George, dear, look at what they're saying about you!"

"Oh, mother. I'm too busy to bother what people think of me."

"I don't like your profession. Someone could stab you in the back at any moment and that makes me nervous. I worry about you day and night!"

"Mother, I can take care of myself."

"Right… You just keep on saying that, right up until the day when you get caught and sent to Traitor's Hill."

"That won't be any time soon, mum."


"I have to go… everyone will be coming into Solom's place in a bit."

"Oh, Georgy."

Alanna in the convent learnt

To sew and dance for kings

But when she became free to leave

She turned to other things

"Why must I always be a lady? What's the point? I'm going to die anyway, so I'd rather die a fighter than a clone of that whiny, simpering flower of perfection, Lady Delia of Eldorne. Honestly! Can you scream any louder when a mouse skitters over your slipper? I think not! Tomorrow I will be free, free! I will go to the palace and triumph over the prince himself in a fencing deul. Then they will see that women can do whatever they want!"

Her violet eyes astonished men

Her breeches even more

And when she rode to the capital

She met a common whore

"Fair lady!"

"My lady, do you need…"

"Lady, are you…"

"Young maiden, where are…"

"Why do these men speak as though they have never seen a beautiful lady in breeches before? Must be the perfume. I ask of you, my dear fellows, would any of you teach a lady the art of the sword? … Alrighty then."

"My lady, if it is knowledge you pursue, I may be able to guide you."

"Thank you. It seems the men here have lost their minds or are subject to some ill-bred spell that ties their tongues with bewilderment. What is your name?"

"Rispah. And yours?"


"Well, Alanna, allow me…"

Alanna did enchant the witch

Which was an odd event

For the courtesan was a cousin

Of the Rogue she did circumvent

The King of Thieves, George Cooper,

Happened upon her path

And saw in her

A wonderful Gift that had her in a bath

"Fair maid, your power is great

Even as your appearance

Though not unpleasant in the least

Is one of beautiful malevolence"

"Shove off, pig-headed swine

Go get ye to a tavern

I'll have naught to do with thieves

No matter how well they flattern"

"Art thou as lovely as I first thought

You seem to me an angel

I find myself in love with you

A love no lord could rival"

They did decide to love each other

And stay true throughout all

The Lady and the Rogue together

Stormed the castle ball

The nobles were astonished

And their delight was non-existant

When Alanna skipped her monthlies

Though she was glad she had missed it

Her brother Thom, ranting and raving,

Vowed to kill this king

But Alanna lovingly stayed his hand

And in secret he gave her his ring

"Alanna, dear, it is true

I must confess

I have a terrible enemy

Who enjoys playing chess

"His thief-friends call him Claw

A name that fits him well

For he fights as does a panther

When he's at the gates of hell

He's cunning and he's wily

He will not be excited

To discover that your babe

Has made us quite united."

"Oh, George, you worry way too much

This man is not as strong

As you, my love, for love

In his stony heart does not belong"

"You are wrong my dear Alanna

I have never even seen

That mongrel lose a fight

To any man of mortal being

"His face bears scars

That testify to his evil ways

He takes young unwilling maids

And spirits them away"

"His scars are not a sign

Of his evil cunning tricks

But just of a remembrance

Of his unhealthy cowardice"

"But still, my love, inside my heart

I know what he will do

He'll spirit you away from me

After death has come anew

"Listen well to my instruction

For this plan is very crucial

To keep me alive, I hope

Our feelings are quite mutual

"He will fight me to the death

And corner me to die

And when I can't resist him

Tis still that I will lie

"I'll wait for ye to take a sword

And do as I have taught

Make sure ye run him through quite well

Till of life he could have naught"

Alanna did wait til the day

When Claw he did attack

And remembered George's instruction

To stab him in the back

She did not have but long to wait

For on a sunny day

Claw came to challenge her dear Rogue

And planned, the Rogue, to flay

Poor George was quite cornered

And could not spy his beloved

He had given up near all his hope

When around the corner she comed

"Ye shall not harm my hubbie"

She declared loudly to the devil

Then ran him through with no more thought

About his evil drivel

George embraced his lovely maid

And then they did rejoice

For now she had beaten his evil foe

Other murderers would think twice

"George Cooper" said she

"It's funny, but I really love you so"

And the Rogue set off with his lady

To battle the sunset's glow