Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter.
AN: Oh look, its more angst from YamiPaladinofChaos. That's new. Sarcasm aside, it got kind of heavy in English, and so this popped up.
Growing up as a child, I was allowed to go to church on the major holidays.
The Dursleys always passed my presence off on those rare occasions that they actually wanted me to go more often, but I was a rebellious heathen that would not convert to true religion or go to church like a good little boy.
Bunch of arses, the lot of them.
But besides the point, I learned a few things at church. God is great, God is omnipotent, and that God's mercy is infinite.
At the time, I thought that was great, that I could be forgiven for being a 'freak' or later, when I was smarter, that God could rescue me from the Dursleys.
However, at church, they would always say that God's mercy is infinite, that forgiveness and redemption is always there, no matter how badly you mess up, no matter how sick and twisted you became, you could always be forgiven.
It's too bad I have that habit of breaking what people think is a constant, an unchanging and unbreakable rule. First the guaranteed death Killing Curse, and now this.
What does this mean? Does that actually mean what you think it does? What could I possibly have done to push myself past the infinite mercy of the Almighty Father in Heaven?
Is there truly something that horrendous, that my soul must be damned for all time?
That's right folks, I, Harry James Potter, Boy-Who-Lived, Gryffindor Golden Boy, committed the Unforgivable Sin, the Unpardonable Sin.
Others have committed it before me, of course.
Tom, his Death Eaters, even Albus Dumbledore committed the Unforgivable Sin. And probably hundreds of people, wizard and muggle, before us.
Now, by now, your probably thinking two things. Either I'm crazy, or I must be nutters. Who would believe it? Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, and Lord Voldemort all commited the same sin, the Unforgivable Sin?
He's nutters, you say.
But it's true. No, Albus or myself have not murdered anyone (to my knowledge Albus hasn't, I haven't yet), nor are we trying for mass genocide like my good friend Tom Riddle. No, we committed something less atrocious, but unforgivable.
Confused? Good. So was I.
By now, you want to know what exactly I, and the other illustrious members of those who have committed the Unforgivable Sin club, have done that is so unforgivable.
My answer is simple. We haven't done anything unforgivable.
Merlin, I've become so much like Dumbledore, speaking in circles and cryptic riddles and statements. But anyway, back to the point. I committed the Unforgivable Sin, but I didn't do anything. An impossibility, you say. Nay, I say. Our sin is not done, it is not an act, not a crime, not an action, but a way of life, a path. The Path to Hell, the Road, or whatever you like to call it.
Dumbledore's unforgivable sin is simple enough. The sacrifice of some, to save hundreds, thousands of lives. He did it time and again in this God-forsaken war.
The necessary evil. The Unforgivable Sin.
Why is that so wrong? Can't Albus be forgiven for this terrible crime, that he was working for the greater good, that he should not be condemned for doing what others could not?
But there is something that Albus has done, or rather, hasn't done. Something that the rest of us, Tom, the Death Wankers, and myself have not done.
He does not want to be forgiven. He believes that he did the right thing, that it was justifiable.
So does Tom, I replied. No wise remark there, no words of wisdom. Dumbledore knew, but he also knew he would do it again.
I did the same. I can even recount, recollect with perfect detail how I fell into Unforgivable Sin. It started innocently enough. I committed myself in my sixth year to utterly and completely ridding the world of Tom, to save it.
A noble intention, a heroic one, a good one, you say.
I say, the Road to Hell is paved with Good Intentions.
And I am going to Hell that much is sure. I am going to fry in Hell, and deserve it. But to pull away from my morbid thoughts, I have digressed away from the original Good Intention I had. To kill Tom and save the world.
But as time wore on, I gradually took off the last part. I forgot to save the world. I just wanted Tom dead. Soon enough, I didn't care what else mattered but killing Tom. I let the hate consume me in its fire, and let it immolate me, let it turn me into a fiend, a cold observer of mankind, led me into Unforgivable Sin.
I delved into the Dark Arts, at first curiously, then to counter Voldemort, then to use them as my last resort against Voldemort, then finally to use them against Voldemort right off the bat.
Funny thing was, I was learning to use the Unforgivable Curses while falling into Unforgivable Sin. But the curses were simply a road to my damnation, a road to Hell.
Soon, I began to focus on nothing more than my goal to kill Tom as more and more people died. I shut my heart down, that key weapon against Voldemort, and I let my heart wither away to nothing, to become a black, empty abyss of nothingness where a hero's heart beat once. My heart died with each day that my apathy grew. That apathy spread like a cancer throughout my body, numbing me to horrors and guilt I once wallowed and drowned in. With each day my apathy grew, my wanderings down the Road to Hell went farther and farther.
That's something else they should add to the proverb. Apathy is the Guide, the one who leads you down on the Road to Hell.
Finally, I isolated myself. It wasn't much of a loss to me, or to anyone else, really. I was nothing at that point. I had become what I had once hated and feared I was once. I became a weapon, a machine, a heartless fiend.
I lost my best friends, my friends, the Weasleys, everyone who once meant something to me in my sole quest to destroy Voldemort.
Ginny tried her best to pull me out of it, but even she, with her fiery temper, with the aid and wishes of her family, even her formidable matriarch of a mother, could not pull me out of it.
Nothing could. I was dead set on following that Hell brick road, all the way down to the fiery inferno where it would end, and my soul would be damned for eternity.
And it will be damned, very soon.
Because I can hear the klaxons blaring, hear the wards shriek and cry out in fear it seems, hear people definitely scream out in fear, and I know it is time. The time is here, the end of the road. And I will not turn back from the path I am set on.
Its time to kill Voldemort, to get the end result of my Unforgivable Sin, my retribution.
My journey down the path of Hell is almost done.
AN: Mostly written to see if I understood today's class. Thanks for taking the time to read and please review!