'Til there was you
Set post Confidence Man and contains spoilers for that episode.
She was stunned. Her lips seemed unable to form words. She had been right and she couldn't quite believe it. What was even more unbelievable was the way he had reacted when she had confronted him about it. She had expected him to deny it with leering comebacks, not to openly admit everything, and on top of that tell her what really happened. His expression was pained when he told her about his family and how he had slowly become the man he had hated for all those years. She sat there silent and unable to speak, he seemed to have taken her silent as pity for his face closed again and he hissed at her to leave him alone. Stunned at first from his sudden change she just stared at him as if she couldn't believe what he'd just said.
Even a walk on the beach later that night couldn't get him out of her head. Even though he had been a royal pain in the ass to everyone on the island, she couldn't help but seeing him in a new light now. He had put up a façade of a macho and egoistic jerk to everyone and they all hated him. Which had been exactly what he wanted, she knew that now. The guilt and self-disgust raw on his face had been confirmation enough.
She had told him that she understood him, but she realised now that nothing had been further from the truth. She hadn't known him at all. What she saw now was far from the cocky bastard he had presented himself to be. Sure he was no angel, but he was no devil either. She knew that now. She was not stupid; she knew this would change everything. Knowing the truth and the reason behind his actions, things couldn't remain they way they had been. Which led her to the next question: Would he behave the same way now that she knew? She had no doubt that he would go on treating the others as he had before, but would his way towards her change?
During her mindless wandering along the water she suddenly found herself outside of his tent. It seemed her feet had a will of their own and they had taken her there. Her thoughts were running wild and there were hundreds of questions she would have liked to ask him, but she knew she wouldn't. She moved closer as drawn to the tent, or maybe was it the man inside. Even though he had behaved like an idiot and tricked her into kissing him, she couldn't get the kiss out of her head. It replayed over and over in her mind and though she never would admit it to him, it hadn't been a bad kiss at all. She had only meant to give him a quick peck on the lips, but somehow she had gotten lost in the touch of his lips against her own and his tongue caressing hers. She has lost control and let herself be drawn into him and the peck she had planned changed into a full make-out session.
Suddenly her mind had reminded her why she was there and she knew she had to break away. Moving back slightly she had still been able to feel his breath on her face coming in short pants, she had known then that the kiss had affected him just as much. When she finally had lifted her eyes and made contact with his, she had felt the connection between them. And for a moment she had forgotten everything around them when she lost herself in his eyes. Full of emotion they bore into hers and she had felt like he was touching her soul. Then he had brought her back to reality. "I don't have it..." She had been confused at first, but then realised that it all had been a trick. Rage had welled up inside her and she let it out by punching him. Things had moved fast then, it all seemed a blur now, Sayid attacking him and the blood...There had been so much blood.
She shook her head as to get rid of her thoughts. She didn't want to think of that right now. A quick peek, she told herself. Just to see that he's alright and then I'll walk away. Moving inside the tent she could see him lying where she had left him. His chest rose with a steady lift and fall and his breathing was even. She stood there a few moments until she was certain that he was asleep and then ventured further into the tent, her resolve to only stay for a moment fading away. The moonlight was streaming in through the gaps in the tent and she could see the bandage on his arm glowing white in the half-darkness. He looked vulnerable as he slept and gone was the hardness of his face that she knew so well. Her hand moved closer towards it to touch the bandage, but before it had reached it's destination she snatched it back as if she just had realised what she was about to do. She did not want to wake him, but she somehow couldn't bring herself to leave the tent either.
"What are you doing here?" She jumped at the sound of the voice and turning around she found herself face to face with Jack. Surprised and quite stunned to find him there she opened her mouth to reply but realised that she didn't really know the answer herself. What was she doing there?
"Why aren't you at the caves?" she mumbled back and only after realised that it was a perfectly valid question. She had stayed on the beach, he had gone on a colonization mission to the caves. Why was he here in the middle of the night?
"I wanted to see that everything was okay here," he said slowly. "I heard Sayid took off?"
"Yeah, he went on a mission. Wanted to map the island. Why wouldn't things be okay here?" Why indeed? Did he think that she needed some kind of body guard now that Sayid was gone? She had managed just fine here on her own.
"No reason...I just thought that I would check on him," he nodded at Sawyer. "So...you never answered my question. What are you doing here?"
"Same as you...just wanted to check that he was okay." She really didn't feel like explaining herself to Jack at the moment. Especially not when she herself had no idea what she was doing in Sawyer's tent in the middle of the night.
"Kate...when are you going to see reason?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You can't stay here. Why don't you come with me to the caves?"
"We have talked about this already," she sighed. "I want to stay here on the beach."
"Here...with Sawyer...I don't think that's a good idea, Kate."
Now she started to see where he was going with all this. She couldn't believe this! She has tried getting close to him. She had even tried telling him about her past and every time she thought she was getting through, he pushed her away again. And now here he was saying that she couldn't stay on the beach because Sawyer was there?
"Well," she began. "I don't really care about that at the moment, Jack". She was tired and didn't have the patience to do this now. She didn't want to fight, certainly not with Jack and she hoped that he would just back off.
"What happened today...in the jungle...between you and him?" he asked quietly not meeting her eyes.
She sighed. He wasn't going to let it go.
"I don't see how that's any of your business..." she said tiredly. "It's between him and me. Now Jack, I'm really tired and I don't want to do this now."
"Just answer me one thing, and then I'll go."
She nodded. "Fine..."
"Was he telling the truth? Did you kiss him...?"
Her eyes leaving his and suddenly finding the sand beneath her feet terribly interesting was answer enough for Jack and he turned and left without a word.
Time for me to get the hell out of here now, she thought as she moved past Sawyer to exit the tent when a hand suddenly gripped her wrist.
"Taking a midnight stroll, Freckles?" She jumped at the contact and turned to see him there, all awake and smiling at her.
God! Just what I need right now! Why can't they just leave me alone?
"I guess you could say that," she mumbled.
"You know there's room for two here..." he winked at her and pulled lightly at her wrist.
"That would be you and your ego then" she bit back and tried to snatch her wrist out of his grip, but he held on tight and rose himself up to a sitting position.
"Now you've been here quite a while now, making me wonder what you find so interesting here. Couldn't have been me, could it?" Had he been awake the whole time?
"I'm tired, Sawyer or what the hell your name is. I neither have the strength nor the patience to deal with you now." Kate sighed and cast him a tired look.
She had expected another comeback from him and was surprised to find him silent and just watching her. His hand released the grip on her wrist and moved down to her hand instead, holding it gently in his.
"Yeah...it has been quite a tiring day for all of us hasn't it?" The words came out so softly that she wasn't even sure she had heard them right. One look at him made her irritation make way for the exhaustion she felt and she sank down beside him on the stretcher.
They sat in silence for what seemed an eternity; Kate was enjoying the stillness and the fact that he for once managed to keep his mouth shut. It was about this time she also realised that he was still holding her hand. She hadn't even noticed before that he hadn't let go of it. Her eyes went to their hands lying entwined in his lap. Somehow it felt right to be sitting here with him and holding hands. She sighed and closed her eyes. This is not supposed to be happening to me, she thought. I shouldn't feel this way.
When she opened her eyes again they met with icy blue ones, full of emotion and something she for a moment couldn't place. His hand came up to caress her cheek and the contact sent tingles through her skin. The silence was broken by his whisper: "Kate..." She interrupted him by lightly shaking her head, eyes closed. "Please don't..." As they words left her mouth she already felt her resolve starting to fade and when she once more met his eyes, she knew she was lost.
His lips crashed down on hers with the same passion as earlier that day in the jungle and she met him with equal fierceness. His tongue caressing hers sent waves of warmth through her and all she could think of was that she wanted to get closer. Her arms came around his neck, her hands pulling at him in an attempt to bring his mouth even closer. She could feel his arms around her body, his hands running up and down her back, pressing her closer against his hard chest. Time lost all meaning for Kate and she couldn't think straight as his hands seem to be all over her body and his tongue gloriously assaulting her mouth.
They both broke away gasping for air, foreheads leaning towards each other and eyes locked. He then he sent her one of his wicked smiles before leaning towards her again. "Now that's a hell of a goodnight kiss, Freckles," he whispered against her mouth before he once again claimed it, this time softly caressing her lips with his and then pulling her down with him on the stretcher.
"It's James..." he whispered as he brought her lips down the side of her throat, making her shiver and moan with the lightest touch. She found it hard to concentrate and broke away from him, putting her hands on his chest to hold him back when he moved to continue kissing her neck.
"What...?" Her eyes sought out his and she could see the desire in them. "James who?"
"My name," he answered simply. "It's James." This brought a small smile to her lips and she leaned closer to him, not breaking the eye contact.
"Hi James," she whispered. "I'm Kate..."
"Nice to meet you, Kate." He mumbled as his hand sneaked behind her neck and brought her mouth back to his.
A/N: This is my first attempt writing Lost, the idea just popped up in my head after the episode and I could not get rid of it. Reviews are always appreciated.