"Happy Birthday dear Starfire, Happy Birthday to you!" The Titans finished up their song with tremendous applause. The beaming green-eyed beauty blushed and gasped at the giant confectionary concoction of pink icing and roses on top of a large cake.
Tamaranean birthdays are somewhat fanatic and rather dangerous according to Earth's standards. So instead of the orthodox approach of celebration that Starfire was accustomed to (which included Musical Gyrowkicks and dancing around the Zelgifor while eating Jumow pudding) the Titans had decided to give her a traditional Earth birthday.
"Make a wish, Star," Robin nudged her. She paused for a moment. "Why? Is there a genie inside of this cake? Must I rub it to make the wish come true?"
"No, just make a wish and blow out the candles," Beast Boy said. Starfire's cheeks puffed up a bit and she leaned forth. With a swishing noise, the light in the pink candles went out. Raven flicked on the lights and Cyborg began to cut pieces of cake.
"Starfire, what did you wish for?" Beast Boy said.
"Well, I wish that you had not set my cake on fire," she answered simply. "But I am still glad that we can partake of this delicious ceremony food."
"Before we dig in, Star, the guys and I got you something," Robin said. He handed her a small box wrapped in purple paper. Starfire ripped the box open and found a remarkable device.
"Robin! It is so beautiful and shiny!" she exclaimed with delight. Starfire turned the square shaped object over, her fingers sliding over the buttons and peeping through a small glass circle located in the back of it.
"Is this some jewelry box or a form of entertainment, Robin?" she asked.
Cyborg laughed. "No Star, it's a camcorder. You use it to film people. Kind of like a movie," he said. Cyborg pressed a button on the camcorder and motioned for Starfire to look through it.
"Marvelous! I can see everyone in this tiny screen," she said with delight. The camera's screen showed Robin waving, then a very sheepish looking Beast Boy who was already eating birthday cake. A guilty look combined with pink icing was smeared across his face.
The camera moved to Raven but at once, her hand covered up the small screen. "I have no interest of being made to look like a fool," she said, waving her hand in front of the camera.
"It's not so bad, Raven," Beast Boy piped up. "Not like Starfire is going to film anything really embarrassing or stupid."
This is where the little green skinned changeling known as Gar Logan will learn a VERY important lesson of life: Be careful what you say because you may regret your words. .. and eat them as well.
Two days later:
The camera turns on revealing the sparkling smile of the Tamaranean beauty. "Good morning to all humans!" she said into the camera, holding it in front of her face.
"Today, I, Koriand'r from Tamaran, am honored to take you all on a journey around the home of the Teen Titans. In this very home, we will observe the lifestyles and activities of my dear friends and teammates. This will be an extremely educational and helpful guide to all."
Starfire held the camcorder as she walked down the hallway of the Titan's Tower. The camcorder reveals a slightly open door. Starfire's hand came to the door.
"Our leader, Robin, has left his door open. I will take the liberty of investigating the Boy of Wonder's private chambers to see what fascinating projects he may be working on."
Starfire walked in and turned around, causing some various half-broken weapons to fall to the ground. Starfire put the camera on the desk and bent down to pick up the stuff.
"It appears that Robin is preoccupied with creating a new weapon," Starfire said. She picked up the yellow oval shaped thing and held it in front of the camcorder. "These odd oval shaped weapons are called 'grenades' and they explode when a small trigger is removed." Starfire hummed and turned the small thing over on its side. "But I cannot seem to find this trigger for now."
"Notice it has a rubbery texture and bright yellow color. No doubt enemies will be not be suspicious of such an adorable looking thing," Starfire said happily. She noticed the "grenade" was rather soft and when she applied pressure it emulated a strange sound:
Starfire, being startled by the strange noise, dropped the "grenade" and stepped back.
There was the sound of footsteps coming closer. Starfire hid under Robin's desk, camcorder still in hand. Robin walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel around his waist and his mask over his eyes.
"Who's there?" he demanded.
"It appears that Robin has a very handsome body though he appears rather skinny," Starfire whispered softly. "Does he not get enough nourishment?"
Robin began to rummage around the room, pushing books, papers, and half broken weapons all over the place.
"AHA!" Robin shouted. He bent over and Starfire was afraid that she would be spotted. Instead, Robin picked up the yellow object and carried it into the bathroom. The door slammed shut, but Starfire held up the camcorder to the keyhole to peep inside.
The splashing sound of water was accompanied by a slight gurgling from the pipes. Robin was sitting in the bathtub, his usual spiky jet black hair now wet and plastered down on his forehead. Strangely enough, he was still wearing his mask. He was singing and holding the yellow object.
"Robin is now testing his grenade to see if it is waterproof and resistant to pressure." Starfire paused. "I certainly hope it does not explode in his face."
"Rubber Duckie, you're the one," Robin sang. He held up the yellow toy and squeezed it in between intervals.
"You make bath time lots of fun"
"Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you"
"Rubber Ducky, joy of joy"
"When I squeeze you, you make noise..."
There was a splashing sound and Starfire leapt back under the desk to wait and see results. Ten minutes later, a dark clad figure wrapped in black robes with a metallic black and silver mask on his face stepped out of the bathroom.
"Oh no! Robin has been replaced by a sadistic evil version of Slade's smaller wicked brother!" Starfire gasped. Just then, the black figure gave a raspy cough and banged on his chest.
"Cyborg! I can't breath in this damned thing!" Robin shouted. He flipped the lid of the helmet over.
"Well duh, why do you think Vader is so grouchy all of the time?" Cyborg asked. He began to shake a can of something before handing it to Robin.
"Ready to be sprayed?"
"Hose me down, Rob." Starfire's eyes widened as Robin's finger came on the nozzle and shining gold spray covered Cyborg's skin and metallic body.
"How fascinating! In honor of this ritualistic meeting that they will attend, Cyborg is coating his body in glittering deodorant, no doubt very much similar to the body glitter that females enjoy using on their bodies."
Robin stopped spraying and Cyborg looked in the mirror. He frowned. "I don't think I look like 3-CPO that much."
"Well duh, because you look like him on steroids," said the green changeling. Beast Boy walked in with a slightly sulky look on his face.
Beast Boy stomped in wearing fake animal skins, a leather belt, and holding a dagger. "How come I have to be an Ewok?" he protested.
"Because you're short like one," Robin retorted. He paused. "Why do I have to be Darth Vader?"
"Because you've been . . . to the Dark Side!" Cyborg said in a low shaky tone.
"I have not!" Robin argued.
"Yes you have! You worked for Slade!" Cyborg shot back.
"Not like I wanted to," Robin defended himself. "And besides, it sucked."
"Dude! Didn't you learn anything cool under Slade?" Beast Boy asked.
Robin paused. "I learned the Vulcan death grip."
"Really?!" the two male Titans grinned.
Their faces fell.
"I followed the male cast of the team to watch them participate in this seemingly cult like activity. They have gone to the cinema to watch a dramatic epic known as 'The War of the Stars," Starfire said. "And to wear outlandish outfits and shout out at the screen when a planet known as the Star of Death explodes and something about a man called Darth Vegas."
The camera turned on.
"Today I shall visit the lair of our evil arch nemesis known as Slade and decipher his conduct of life," Starfire said.
She tiptoed into the vast dark room and hid behind some barrels. The dark room was full of cranking machines and eerie noises were heard everywhere. Starfire noticed a small thin girl sitting at a desk, her legs propped up on the desk as she leaned back and filed her nails.
"Jinx!" shouted a rumbling voice. The masked man opened the door and marched over to a desk. "Just what do you call this?" he demanded, throwing a stack of papers on her desk.
Since his past two apprentices had both resulted in disasters, Slade had decided to forsake the entire "train-the-student-to-learn-evil-bad-guy-stuff-and-become-corrupt-like-me" plan.
Jinx was his new secretary. And from what he had seen in the past two weeks, it wasn't paying off. The floors were dusty, the coffee was terrible, and the phone lines were full since Jinx didn't bother to clear the voice mail.
The pink haired witch shrugged and continued to file her nails. "I call it filing," she said, chewing on her gum loudly.
"This is NOT filing! I wanted it alphabetized according to the criminal, not the innocent bystander," Slade said angrily. "Now go back into the database system and edit every single one of those records."
Jinx slammed down the filer. "Ya mean I gotta do it over again?"
"Aw geez, boss. Who cares how I file?" Jinx whined. "That's like fifty thousand names to correct!"
"Fifty thousand, eight hundred, and seven, to be precise." Never say that a criminal psycopath didn't pay attention in math class. "Then get the broom out of the storage closet and start sweeping up. I cannot tolerate dust in my hideout."
"So? Get a janitor!" Jinx shouted. She took the wad of chewing gum out of her mouth and stuck it under her desk. One hundred and fourteen pieces in her collection so far. She was hoping to break the record of two hundred.
Slade turned around to leave and nearly tripped over a large wooden crate. "Where the hell did this come from?!" he thundered.
"Oh that?" Jinx nodded her head. "I won that stuff on e-bay."
Slade pried open the crate and looked inside. Once Slade saw the contents, he uttered several foul words that cannot be mentioned in this story, slammed the crate shut angrily, and glared at her.
"And what, may I ask, am I supposed to do with seventy quarts of mayonnaise?!" he shouted.
Jinx paused. "Chicken salad?"
Slade stomped out of the room. Jinx shrugged and propped her feet up on the desk. "Yeah, Giz, the coast is clear," she muttered and went back to filing her nails. Gizmo climbed out from under the desk and landed in front of the computer.
"Yeah! Back to computer games!" he shouted, grabbing the mouse and clicking away. Jinx made her chair spiral around and slurped out of a can of soda.
Starfire followed Slade into the other room where he took his seat in front of a massive screen.
"Perhaps if our enemy was to watch more entertaining movies such as we do at the tower, then he would not be in such sadistic moods as to terrorize us," Starfire said softly. She watched him aim a remote at the giant screen and click the button.
A white-faced man with green hair popped up on the screen. "Slade! How's it going?" the man laughed as if he was the best joke of the year.
"Disgusting as usual." Slade leaned back in his chair and locked his fingers together. "I've looked over this plan of yours, Joker, and given it my review."
"Weeeeell?" Joker drawled out.
"Your intention of destroying the city using the' Exploding Rubber Chickens Report' is a ridiculous idea," Slade growled. "Not to mention expensive and time-consuming."
"Blast the timing, Slade!" Joker shouted. "Besides, all those little Teeny Weeny Titans will have a ball scrubbing rubber gizzards off the walls once the Rubber Chickens invade the city." Joker began his hyena giggling and rubbed his hands together.
"Well, I've got some good news for you," Joker added. He held up a plunger. "I've taken the liberty of making the Gotham sewers back up."
There was a moment of silence for dramatic effect.
"And?" asked Slade.
"And cats can't swim! Neither can bats! Ha ha ha ha!" Joker screamed with laughter. "So Batman and Catwoman are now bobbing about in the sewers without so much as waterwings."
"Thrilling," Slade said in a voice that suggested the opposite of his comment. While Joker was still trying to get Slade's attention, Starfire noticed a leather bag leaning against the wall.
"This should be interesting." She removed a long thin metal rod with a heavy metal base attached at one end.
"This is certainly not a staff or a sword, so perhaps it is used for cooking," she said. 'But the base is not cupped as a mixing spoon should be." She swung the metal rod back and forth a few times. However, Starfire's grip was lost and the rod went flying against the air. Starfire gasped, cringing as the rod smacked into the wall with a loud clanging noise.
The rod smacked into the back of Slade's head.
The masked man gave a roar and shouted "OUCH!" He jumped up from his chair, rubbing the back of his metallic helmet. The camera showed the back of his head with a large dent in the metal. Starfire gulped and turned off the camera.
"Who's there?" Slade shouted. He whipped back to the screen. "I think your games have done enough for once, Joker," he snapped. Slade raised the remote.
"Wait! Where's yer sense of humor?" Joker demanded. The screen went black.
"I think I shall take the opportunity of leaving as soon as possible," Starfire said softly. She managed to fly quietly out of the room and was about to sneak out the back, but not without hearing Slade scream at the top of his lungs:
"WHO RUINED MY GOLF CLUBS?!"
The camera turned on.
"Now I shall observe the lifestyle of the other female Titan, Raven."
The camera zooms in and a door slides open.
"Raven is shouting some very foul words at the moment. It seems that she is enraged about a person known as 'Scale," Starfire assumed.
"Raven is jumping up and down upon a small metal box and shouting that 'Scale' is a liar, thinks that she is obese, and she despises 'Scale'-"
"I HATE YOU!" Raven screamed, kicking the scale aside. "I did NOT gain two pounds this month!" she fumed. The dark goddess raised a hand and dark power formed within her palms.
A blast of fire flew through the air and Starfire fanned the smoke to clear the vision for her camcorder. "Scale has been executed," Starfire concluded. She moved the camera down to where the charred scale is now a small chunk of burnt metal.
The camera zooms to two dozen large mugs lying on a dresser.
"Raven consumes a massive amount of liquids known as Herbal Teas. Apparently, they are supposed to relieve the tension that she feels most often. However, they are the result of her constant need to run to the lavatory."
Starfire put down the camcorder and picked up a teacup. She was surprised to find it was brimming, not with tea, but with several small brown discs.
Since aliens are capable of digesting certain foods that would be otherwise toxic to humans, Starfire found no need to fear. She popped one of the objects into her mouth and her eyes widened.
"Mmmmm. . ." she hummed, chewing the smooth creamy food.
"Who's' there?" Raven's tight voice snapped. Starfire gulped, grabbed the camcorder, and ducked into the closet,
Raven glared and glanced around the room. She raised a magazine that she was holding and began to rip the page up. "Ugh Orlando Bloom! I can't stand prissy little blondes who toss their hair at the camera," she said angrily. Raven tossed the magazine up in the air and thrust a sphere of dark power in its direction. A charred mess of burnt papers landed next to the ruined scale.
A more-satisfied Raven began to cram bonbons into her mouth while a fascinated Starfire watched, her video camera recording the scene through a crack in the doorway.
"Ah, now it appears that Raven requires massive amounts of sugary foods like the rest of us, but will say nothing."
Raven looked up, her mouth and cheeks stained with chocolate. Suddenly, she looked at the clock.
"Oh no. . . I'm going to miss Blues Clues!" she shouted. Raven put her stash of bonbons away and ran out of the room.
Starfire stepped out of the closet and decided to investigate further. She noticed a lovely looking book wrapped in lavender paper with the words DIARY spelled out in gold letters.
"I have heard of these diaries," Starfire said. "I believe they are books of literature that humans write feelings and daily activities in, for the sake of their own personal relief or lack there of. Usually diaries are confidential documents, but surely Raven shall not mind if I. .. ."
Starfire saw a piece of paper on top of the diary and picked it up. She began to read it out loud:
I know that you have been using that video camera to follow us around and record all of our activities. Should you so much as put a toe in my room with that blasted contraption, I will personally inflict you with the Curse of a Thousand Newts.
Starfire paused. "What is a newt?" she asked. The alien girl heard an odd squelching noise and turned around.
There was the violent shrieking of Starfire and the screen showed a flash of her bright green light before the screen was pelted with slimy green creatures. Then the screen went black.
The camera turns on.
Starfire had just peeled the 997th newt off of her body and shuddered. "Now that I have had the not-so pleasant experience of meeting those little reptiles known as newts, it would be best to avoid Raven for the time being."
"Today I shall be researching the life of one of Robin's friends and an honorary Titan." She paused. "Make that several allies of the Titans."
"This is the home of the legendary archer known as Speedy, who stays here when he is not residing at Titans East Tower. We shall explore his natural habitat via the window." Starfire flew up the side of the apartment building to the fifteenth floor where Speedy lived. Though the glass window blocked out the sound, she lifted her camera up and managed to slide the window open a bit.
Speedy was sprawled across the couch, flat on his back. The T.V was blaring away loudly but his loud snores were even drowning out the noise from the screen. Various cans and bottles were scattered all over the place. His quiver and arrows were under a table.
The doorbell rang.
"I'M UP!" he shouted, bolting from the couch and running to the door. Opening it up, Speedy found Bumblebee with a bag of groceries.
"Oh, hey! Buzz! What's up, honey?" he grinned, leaning in the doorway. Bumblebee pushed him aside and walked into the apartment.
"First of all, don't call me Buzz. Second, don't call me honey. Third of all-"she plunked down the groceries and glanced around the apartment.
"Its filthy in here, Roy!" she shouted, shaking her head in disgust. Speedy just yawned and scratched his head while Bumblebee ran around the room, gathering up the mess and dumping wrappers into the garbage.
"I'm a single guy, Bumblebee. What do you want from me?" he groaned.
"I'd except you to live a little cleaner lifestyle, and maybe to eat and sleep like a normal human being," she chided him. "instead of a slob."
"I'm a busy guy. I don't have time to be perfect," Speedy snapped.
"What on earth do you eat anyway?" she said angrily. Bumblebee opened up the cabinets revealing cans and cans of bright pink meat.
"Spam spam spam!" Speedy laughed and sang. He grabbed a can of spam and brought it to his chest as he danced around the room.
"You are SO weird," Bumblebee sighed. Speedy sat back down on the couch and opened up his can of spam.
"I like spam," he said happily, digging into the can.
"Gee, processed pork guts and chocolate pudding," she said with disgust. Bumblebee pulled a head of lettuce out of her bag.
Speedy nearly chocked on his spam and looked at her, utterly mortified.
"Ew, you want me to eat THAT stuff?"
"I'm going to make you a vegetable salad and you are going to eat it-"she threatened him.
"Or what? You'll honey my sheets?!" Speedy started laughing.
He was blasted across the room and landed smack against the window. Starfire dodged out of the way just in time. Speedy fell to the ground just as Bumblebee lowered her hand.
"Ow! Geez, you don't have to show your stingers," he groaned, rubbing his back.
Bumblebee began to flip through his videos.
"Got anything good?"
Speedy grinned and waved a video.
"I am NOT watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the forty fifth time, Speedy!" she nearly screamed in his face.
"Forty six if we count the time you didn't see the Trojan Bunny," he said.
The doorbell rang.
"I hope that's Aqualad," Bumblebee muttered. But when she opened the door, it revealed Robin, Cyborg, and Beast Boy. Enraged, she pushed past them and stomped out.
"What's her problem?" Beast Boy asked. Speedy shrugged.
"Women." Then he ushered them into the apartment.
"Say, where is Tuna Breath anyway?" Speedy asked.
"Last time I heard, Aqualad was swimming in the Gotham sewers looking for something," Cyborg said, He and Beast Boy were dragging a very unwilling Robin into the apartment.
"What's going on?" Speedy asked.
Robin wriggled out of the grip and was about to run out the door, but Cyborg grabbed him by the scuff of his neck.
"Nothing, nothing," Robin muttered nervously. "We don't want anything."
"Yes we do," Beast Boy insisted. He helped up a large cardboard box in front of Speedy's face.
"The Acme Correspondence Course of Back Waxing," he read aloud. Speedy adjusted his mask.
"And we're going to try it on Robin!" Beast Boy beamed.
The black-haired leader of the Titans continued to squirm and look mortified.
"We thought we'd do it here so the girls wouldn't find out," Cyborg explained.
"I'd rather we not do it," Robin muttered. "Come on guys, please don't do this to me! I'd die of embarrassment. Think of the publicity. Think of what, what Starfirewould say if she found out!"
Starfire covered her mouth to hide a smile and made sure the volume was on loud and clear as she continued to film.
"I'm sure she'd just love knowing your back was waxed just to please her," Speedy grinned wickedly. He pinched Robin's cheek-hard.
"Robbie Poo," he added in a high girly tone.
Cyborg and Beast Boy burst out into hysterical laughs.
"NO! YOU CAN"T MAKE ME!" Robin howled. But it was too late: Cyborg and Speedy had pinned him to the ground while Beast Boy opened up the back waxing kit.
"Now lets see. Melt the wax over low heat and stir," he read from the instructions.
Robin was beginning to whimper softly.
"Come on, Rob. Don't tell me that this is going to scare you," Cyborg said cheerily.
Robin was beginning to wish that he had learned more about escaping from perilious dangers during his apprenticeship with Slade.
There was the sound of pots and pans banging in the kitchen. "Just get a pot to heat the wax up!" Speedy shouted over the noise. Beast Boy's head stuck out of the kitchen. "Should I add some crayons to the mix?" he asked.
"Crayons?!" Cyborg looked surprised.
"Yeah, well, its all wax and its going to get melted down anyway," Beast Boy insisted. "I'd stick to that clear stuff in the kit," Speedy advised. "Besides, you don't want Robin to end up with his back all purple or fuchsia, do you?"
"You're getting back at me for the tournament, aren't you?" Robin fumed at Speedy. He only grinned again and wiggled his ears.
Beast Boy came back from the kitchen, blowing on a large ladle full of hot melted wax. Ordering the other Titans to pull up Robin's shirt, he dumped the wax on Robin's back and began to spread it around with a kitchen knife.
"Ouch! That's stuff's hot!" Robin shouted as he smeared the gray mess around.
"Well duh, you can't wax a back with cold wax, can you?" he insisted. Beast Boy ripped out a sheet of paper and plastered it on Robin's back. He began to rub the paper hard, causing the Boy of Wonder to start giggling away.
"Stop that," he snickered. Now it was Cyborg's turn to start smirking.
"You're ticklish, Rob!" he said.
"No I'm not," he argued back. Cyborg just ripped off Robin's boots and began to tickled his feet.
"AHAHAHAHAHAH!" Robin screamed from being ticklish. "Please! Hahaah! No more! Hahahah! STOP!" he began to howl, begging for mercy.
"Ok, ok, enough for now. Time to rip the wax off," Speedy announced.
"WHAT?!" Robin shouted.
Starfire made sure that she had the camera's sound on and had a good view of what was going on.
Robin began to pound the ground with his hand while beads of sweat were forming on his face.
"Ready?" Beast Boy grinned.
"First, Robin resorts to confession," she said.
"Ok Ok, I confess," he babbled. "I took the last Mallow Blaster from the fridge. Will you let me go now?
"One!" Beast Boy said, ignoring Robin's pleas.
"Now he attempts bribery," Starfire said.
"Video games! Cyborg, set me free and I'll let you keep the Starkiller V game cartridge," he begged.
"Two!" Beast Boy shouted.
Robin began to make small whiney sounds, whimpering like a puppy.
Starfire had to cover her ears to shield them from the soprano blasts of Robin's voice which had yet to develop into deeper masculine tones as he would mature. The windows nearly rattled from his high shrieks of pain from having the wax ripped off of his skin.
Starfire watched Robin roll over and groan, his back a throbbing red hue.
Beast Boy was holding a large piece of paper covered in hardened wax and tiny black hairs. "Cool!" he said, touching the paper.
Cyborg was looking at the guidebook from the kit. "It says to put some kind of lotion on the waxed area to prevent it from itching," he read aloud.
SPLORT! Speedy dumped a pile of goo on Robin's back and began to smear the white moisturizing lotion around.
Robin began to moan. "What a terrible way to go. Me, the leader of the Titans, resorted to having his back waxed."
"At least Batman isn't around to see this," Speedy laughed. Robin's head jerked up, the corners of his mouth turned down.
"If Batman ever found out about this. . ." Robin began to say.
A small beeping noise emulated from their pockets. All of the Titans took out their communicators.
"Tuna Breath?" Speedy said into the compact. "Where are you?"
"In downtown Jump City investigating," Aqualad said somewhat irritated. "While you've been stuffing your face and goofing off. . . Skinny."
"Robin, I think you guys had better get down here ASAP," Aqualad said.
"Right!" Robin said, wiggling away and rolling his shirt down. He made a face as he touched his back. "This is so weird. My back is as smooth as a baby's, uh, knee."
Starfire turned off the camcorder.
Making sure her camera was tucked away for the time being, Starfire met the other Titans in the middle of the city.
"Starfire, where have you been?" Robin asked her.
"I have been. . . investigating," she said innocently, trying to keep a straight face as she recalled his torture to being humiliated in the masculine world.
The Titans met Aqualad in the center of town.
"When did you get back after Gotham?" Speedy asked him.
"Just today. But I've heard some weird noises around here-"Aqualad began. A strange clucking noise was heard over their heads. "Squawk!" came a loud noise. Raven flew up and above the rooftops to find the source of the strange sound. She put a hand to her face and squinted to see.
"Ray, are you all right?" Cyborg shouted from below.
Raven came back down holding something long, gangly, and orange. She threw it down and all of the Titans gathered around.
"It's a rubber chicken," she said flatly.
"WHahahahah!" Beast Boy laughed. "What kind of idiots think that they can scare us with rubber chi-"
Far away on top of another building, Slade was watching the chaos with satisfaction.
"Huh huh huh," his low voice chuckled with pleasure. "The Joker was right. A few tricks would certainly liven things up for the Titans."
He turned around to face the Tricky Triad known as Mammoth, Jinx, and Gizmo. Their faces were plastered with sinister grins and in each of their hands, they held large circular balls of a sticky white gel.
"Are you prepared to have fun?" he asked them. They all nodded and laughed.
"Then by all means, go and entertain them," he said.
The Triad swooped down onto the Titans with a rush.
"Bombs away!" laughed Jinx. They pelted the Titans with the white bombs.
SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT!
Raven dodged but got the front of her cloak covered in the white goo. Robin was hit head first, his black hair buried in the mess. Beast Boy tried to turn into a tiger but he slipped and fell into a large pile of the white sticky mess.
Starfire pelted flaming green disks at them, but the goop splattered and exploding upon contact. Rubbing the white cream from her face, Starfire grabbed her video camera and dashed off.
"Retreat! Retreat!" Robin shouted. The horrifically ruined Titans ran off, gasping for breath. "Ew, what is this stuff?" Beast Boy asked. Speedy whipped some of the goop off of his face and licked it. "I don't think its safe to have a stomach bigger than your brain," Raven warned him.
"Its mayonnaise," Speedy concluded.
"Why would they be pelting us with mayonnaise?" Robin demanded.
"Does this mean they demand an alteration on our diets?" Starfire asked, brushing some mayonnaise off of her skirt.
"DOUBLE ATTACK!" they heard Gizmo scream. Turning around, the Titans shrieked and were chased down the streets being attacked by mayonnaise.
Starfire raised her camera to get a better look.
The camera screen showed white until Starfire turned it off.