The camera turns on.
"We have retreated back to the Tower and decided to allow the enemy to call it a victory for today," Starfire said. "Nevertheless, the Titans will still attempt to dislocate the Mayonnaise Bombs and find the source of the Exploding Rubber Chickens."
She walked up to Robin who was sitting on the couch and tapped him on the back. Robin shrieked and jumped six feet into the air.
"Forgive me," Starfire gasped. "Your back must be..." her voice trailed off.
Robin twitched, wondering what she was up to.
"Have you been to one of those little contraptions that attempts to tan the back by lying in a bed of dangerously hot lights?" Starfire asked innocently.
"Um, yeah! That's it, Star," Robin stammered nervously. "I, uh, tried a tanning bed and it didn't work so my back was sunburned." Given the concerned smile of the Tamaranean beauty, Robin hoped she had bought it. Better to be known as sunburned than back waxed.
Robin turned on the T.V.
"In today's news, Gotham police have noticed a giant ceramic toilet lodged outside the main sewer pipes of Gotham city. This toilet may have been the cause of the lack of water running in some pipes in the city, while others are nearly flooded."
The new camera showed a toilet nearly as big as Titan's Tower standing in the middle of the city.
"Police have been questioned in the matter and are curious about the whereabouts of the city's protector, Batman. However, there has been no sight of the Dark Knight recently and the city's citizens are beginning to get impatient and demand their showers back.
Should the cause of this disaster not come to surface, the Justice League of America will have to intervene and may bring in the legendary Plungerman, protector of the flushing, the squeaky clean, and the rubber rod."
"Plungerman?!" Robin blurted out.
"In other news, the citizens of Jump City may have their showers working fine, and they'll need them! Thousands of Rubber Chickens covered the streets today before exploding in mid-air, right before Mayonnaise Cannons blasted down people."
"Worried mothers are concerned about salmonella food poisoning and the city cleaners will be annoyed about the smell for a while. We highly recommend air fresheners and extra sponges for you all."
Raven was banging on the door of the bathroom as if it was a drum. "Speedy!" she snapped. "You've been in there forever and we all need to wash that disgusting mayonnaise off!"
The door slid open and Raven was hit with a wave of hot air and whirling steam. Speedy came out wearing nothing more than a fluffy yellow towel wrapped around his waist.
"Ew! Man, put some clothes on!" Cyborg gagged, covering his eye and waving a hand away.
Raven's attention went towards Speedy's torso. "That is MY favorite bathtowel that you are wearing," she hissed.
"Really?" Raven could have sworn Speedy was winking behind his mask, but his sadistic grin was already telling her enough. "All right Raven, you can have it back," he said wickedly. Speedy pretended to peel the towel off his waist.
"No! No!" Raven shouted, turning away. "Just keep it, ok? And while you're at it, take my bathrobe," she grumbled.
The dark goddess began to stomp off and almost bumped into Starfire's camera. Raven pursed up her lips. "Pray tell me, how did the little expedition in my room go?"
Starfire widened her green eyes and tried to look as innocent as possible, but Raven could see right through her.
"I know the curse was put into effect," Raven said. "Hope you liked having newts all over your body."
"It was not a pleasant experience," Starfire confessed.
"Not as unpleasant as having that dirty pervert Speedy around. I wish Robin had never made that rouge into a Titan."
"He cannot be dirty, he has just showered," Starfire insisted.
Raven hesitated, wondering if she should tell Starfire what "dirty" meant along with "hitting on" and "flirting". She had a thought bubble of Starfire smacking someone with a baseball bat in self defense of being "hit at". Perhaps there are some things the Tamaranean alien should not know.
Speedy found himself standing in the Titan's kitchen with a blank expression. He adjusted the towel he was wearing and frowned. Because he was much taller than Robin, it would be quite unnecessary for the Boy of Wonder to offer Speedy any of his uniforms. Until Speedy's clothes were done drying, he'd have to wait. Maybe he could watch a movie in the meantime.
Speedy suddenly felt a draft and looked down.
The Titan's mutant mascot known as Silkie the Silkworm was happily munching on the remains of the fluffy yellow towel.
Speedy shouted and made a beeline for the bathroom. He would never live to see the day if anyone had caught him and he would be nicknamed Skinny Dipping Speedy.
Starfire lowered the camera and made a face.
"I have seen hooligans such as Johnny Rancid with permanent imprints on their bodies called tattoos," she spoke slowly. "They are often interpreted as having tribunal or artistic origins."
"But what is the significance of Speedy having a small imprinted tattoo of a purple dinosaur on his backside?" she asked aloud.
Meanwhile. . .
The other shower in Titans Tower was preoccupied for the moment.
"I'm telling you, Beast Boy, the place stunk like bad socks," Aqualad said, coming about and rubbing his black hair with a towel. "So you were trying to find out who put up that giant toilet in Gotham?" he asked.
"Yeah, and the sewers were just disgusting. It was like swimming in sludge water," Aqualad shuddered. "I found Batman, by the way. But he was accompanied by Catwoman and-"
"Cats can't swim," Beast Boy interrupted.
"Right. So she's there, thrashing and screaming and shouting like its doomsday and Batman doesn't have any little waterwings or anything like that in his utility belt. And since his uniform is so heavy, it's pulling both of them down!" Aqualad shook his head. "Why do I think grown-ups are more helpless than they let themselves on to be?"
"Did this dude Plungerman ever show up?"
"Him? Nah. This little guy in blue tights and a red uniform came out of no where. He called himself Spiderman-"
"That's crazy! What kind of a weirdo goes around dressed like an insect?" Beast Boy laughed.
"Dunno. But he's going to save both of them, so he says. Joker pops up out of nowhere and begins to sing 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider' and flushes the giant toilet. Of course, poor little Spiderman is scrambling up the walls and gets water flushing him back down."
"Sounds awful," Beast Boy grinned.
"Wasn't a total loss, though," Aqualad said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a green gem on a gold chain. "I got this 3-D Hypno necklace from a magic shop."
"Big deal! Those things are phonies," the green changeling retorted. But Aqualad swung it in front of Beast Boy's eyes. "You are getting sleeeeepy. . ." he said in a low voice. Beast Boy just folded his arms and rolled his eyes.
"That is SO lame, I'm not falling for it."
"On the count of three, you will fall asleep," Aqualad continued.
"I'm not that stupid! You can't get me like Mad Mod!"
"Na na never gonna do it!"
"Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Beast Boy's eyes went shut and his head dropped forward. Aqualad caught it and propped the sleeping boy back on his bed. He opened the door and ushered for Starfire to come in.
"The coast is clear. You can begin shooting," he said.
"Ahem!" Starfire cleared her throat and began to talk into the camera. "I have checked the encyclopedia and discovered that hypnosis is a state of relaxation and different conscious that has been used for medical reasons. Today, Aqualad has hypnotized Beast Boy and will explain to me how it will be used for health benefits."
The camera shows the stud muffin smiling.
"Thank you, Starfire. Well, when I said 'health benefits', I was being more vague. It is not for the patient's welfare, but for the viewers. Now that Beast Boy has no control over himself. ." Aqualad leaned forth and grinned perfect teeth into the screen. ". . .. we'll just have to play along."
He turned around to the sleeping boy who has a thin trickle of saliva drooling out of his mouth. "Beast Boy, you are now under my power. When I snap my fingers, you will wake up and-" he paused, wondering what to make him to.
"Make Beast Boy act as if he is a Zorgophlec!"
"Fine. Beast Boy, you are now a Zorgophlec." He snapped his fingers and Beast Boy's eyes popped open. He looked around the room and saw his pile of colored socks.
"Fooood!" he screamed. The changeling jumped into the pile and began to cram clothes into his mouth. "Mmmm, yummy yummy socks," he said, stuffing two red socks into his mouth, chewing, and swallowing.
"Mwahahahahah!" Aqualad laughed, falling down hysterically.
Starfire blinked calmly. "I see not what it is so funny about this. Zorgophlecs are raised on a strict diet of spun cotton and wool prints. It is good that he is getting his nutrition in."
Beast Boy had just dumped ketchup on a polka-dot tie and was rolling it up like a jelly roll. He licked the red stuff off his fingers as he finished eating it. But then, he noticed the pile of dirty laundry.
Starfire gasped. "Aqualad, he cannot eat that, it is most unsanitary!" Aqualad made a face. "Yeah, I don't think he should be eating his own clothes if they need to be washed, especially filthy socks."
"COME TO PAPA!"
Beast Boy jumped into the air and was about to land on top of the socks, his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
He landed on top of the filthy laundry in a heap, snoring loudly. The two Titans managed to pull him off and put Beast Boy on the ground.
"Ok, I've got another idea," Aqualad said. "When I snap my fingers, you will want to sing a very popular pop song."
He snapped his fingers. Beast Boy jumped up, wide awake and looked around the room. Suddenly, he grabbed his toy squeaky hammer and got on top of the bed. Holding the hammer like a microphone, he began to sing into it: "I think I did it again, I made you believe we're more than just friends. Oh baby, it might seem like a crush..."
Now even Starfire was laughing so hard that tears were coming down her cheeks. Beast Boy swing his hips back and forth, pursing up his lips and blowing kisses as he kept singing: "Baby, oh...Oops!...I did it again, I played with your heart, got lost in the game..Oh baby, baby..."
Aqualad snapped his fingers. Beast Boy dropped the squeaky hammer and fell back, snoring loudly. "Ok, Starfire. Now make him do something," Aqualad announced. Her green eyes grew wide with astonishment.
"I think you'll enjoy it. Just remember to snap once to wake him up, and only your snap can make him fall back asleep." Starfire nodded and put a finger to her temple in thought. Her eyes widened and she thought of something that would make Beast Boy very happy.
It would NOT make Aqualad very happy.
"I have an idea," Starfire announced. "Beast Boy, when I snap my fingers, you shall assume that Aqualad is really Terra."
Aqualad's face froze. "Terra?"
Beast Boy's eyes widened and he glanced at Starfire with a puzzled look on his face. Then he looked at Aqualad and the smile spread across his face was so bright that Starfire thought she would need sunglasses.
"Um, Beast Boy," Aqualad said stepping back slowly.
Little hearts were coming out of Beast Boy's eyes as he looked at Aqualad.
"TEEEERAAA!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. Still looking googly-eyed, he dove for Aqualad and threw his arms around the buff teenager's waist.
"Cant-breath," Aqualad gasped.
"Oh Terra, I'm so glad to see you! You're all right! You're here! You're wonderful! You're beautiful!" Beast Boy said, grabbing Aqualad's hand and kissing it. "I love you! I love you!"
"BLECH!" Aqualad was beyond repulsed at this point. And I thought the Gotham sewers were disgusting he thought to himself. He pried Beast Boy's fingers' off his waist and scooted backwards.
"Terra, you wanna go the movies?" Beast Boy said.
"Make him stop!" Aqualad gagged. "Before he hurts either of us!" He ran down the hallway with Beast Boy behind him, the little green one holding a rose between his teeth.
"You are zee most beautiful woman I have EVER seen!" he hollered. Starfire lagged behind with the camera. "Terra, please! My best friend!" Beast Boy wailed.
Aqualad jumped out of a window and splashed into the water. Beast Boy's splash was heard next and when the black haired boy glanced behind him, he groaned. He was still being chased, but now the little red hearts had increased in number and size.
And it was an ugly green squid that was chasing him. Aqualad forced his aching legs to push through the water as fast and hard as he could go.
"Terra, Terra, sweeter than pie. It's the cute blondie I love, I cannot lie," the telepathic message sang over and over again. Just as Aqualad thought it was hopeless, he rose to the surface for air. The green duck followed him and looked up.
Starfire hovered above the water and raised her hand.
Beast Boy blinked and found himself bobbing up and down in the middle of the bay.
"Um, how did we get here and why am I soaking wet?" he asked Aqualad. "And why is Starfire up there holding her video camera?"
"She wanted to watch us race," Aqualad explained quickly, relieved at the change in Beast Boy's conduct. "Oh," was all Beast Boy could say. He scratched his ear.
"Was I winning?" he added.
The camera revolves around the long corridor in the Titan's Tower.
"And now I am about to interview or at least research the lifestyle of the bionic wonder known as Cyborg," Starfire announced happily.
Starfire' plan was interrupted when the door decided to make direct contact with her face.
The door slammed open, mashing Starfire to the wall as flat as a pancake.
Bumblebee stuck her head out of the room "That's funny. I thought I heard noises," she muttered to herself.
"Guuuuuuuuuh. . ." Starfire's voice creaked out. She managed to unwrinkled her flattened face and remain behind the door. At least the camcorder wasn't damaged.
Bumblebee came out wearing a fluffy lacey pale pink dress adorned with flowers. A large floppy hat covered with daisies was on her head while she held a large basket full of chocolates. She began to twirl around and hum cherrily. "I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and bright..."
"You do?" Cyborg's voice was heard from the room. She stopped singing and rolled her eyes. "I'd like you more if you just came out, Cyborg!" she shouted with her hands on her hips.
"Cyborg is dressed all over in thick white fur," Starfire said into the camera. "He is holding a giant head of some ferocious animal. Perhaps he has come back from a hunting expedition and is dressing himself in the animal's skins to show that he is a valiant warrior, and Bumblebee is wearing that adorable gown to express her pride in his capture of the-"
Cyborg held out the head to Bumblebee. "I can't get it on," he insisted.
"Oh for heavens sake!" she snapped. She grabbed the head and shoved it onto Cyborg's head. A muffling sound was heard from inside.
"Can you talk?" she asked.
"Huhmma humma. . yes, I think I can," came the still slightly smothered sound of Cyborg. "Bee, I really don't want to do this."
"You promised me that you'd be the Easter Bunny in the mall today," she warned him, shaking a finger. "Besides, I'm going along as your assistant so shut up and go along with it."
Cyborg turned around and looked at his reflection in the mirror: a white furry body costume and a large smiling bunny face with floppy pink ears met him in the mirror.
"And what are you supposed to be, the sugar plum fairy?"
Before he could react, Bumblebee grabbed the long floppy ears and began to drag him out the door.
"Ow! Ow!" his voice was heard. "You'll rip 'em off!"
"Nonsense! I superglued them on," she shouted back.
"We are at the mall to await the arrival of the great animal known as the Easter Bunny," Starfire announced cheerily. "Or should I say, Cyborg on behalf of the Easter Bunny."
A bunch of kids were lined up in the middle of the mall where various balloons in pastel colors were gathered around.
"Look! It's the Easter Bunny!" one kid cried, pointing to Cyborg and Bumblebee. She smiled and began to pass out chocolate to them. "Hello, boys and girls," she said in a high sweet voice. "I am Sugar Pixie, friend to all and dear helper of the Easter Bunny."
"Sugar Pixie?!" Cyborg shouted. But the kids saw him and began to squeal with laughter, jumping up and down, clapping their hands.
"Easter Bunny!" shouted one boy. He tugged on Cyborg's arm and the bionic boy trapped inside the costume of a large white mammal fell into a rocking chair. The boy sat himself down comfortably on Cyborg's lap.
"Um, what are you doing?" he asked.
"Telling you what presents I want," the kid said. "My name is Alex and I've been REALLY good this year and I-"
"Excuse me," Bumblebee said, tapping Alex on his shoulder. She bent over and said, in a voice so sweet and sticky that Starfire was almost getting cavities. "But Santa Clause is the one that gives out presents. The Easter Bunny has just enough candy and games for today. So sorry, darling."
Cyborg was ready to die. He didn't know how he let Bumblebee get him talked into doing this ridiculous shindig, and he was terrified at what Robin would think if he ever saw Cyborg in the stupid bunny outfit. How did he ever get into this mess?
Oh yeah, she had offered him a Starkiller Scream V game cartridge.
Cyborg cleared his throat and patted Alex on his head with one large furry paw.
"Never mind that, Alex. Tell me what Santa got you for Christmas," he said in a deep voice. Alex's eyes grew wide and he scooted around on Cyborg's lap.
"Ok! I got a really cool super summer slide, and a science experiment kit, and some cool movies. . ."
"I wanna go! I wanna go!" A little girl jumped on Cyborg's lap once Alex had gotten off. "My name is Thera," she lisped. "Sara?" he asked.
"Yeth! Thera!" she smiled at Cyborg. "And I got a pretty china tea teth, a Barbie doll, a glow inna dark kite and some pretty pink thocks."
She got off of his lap and another boy climbed on. Cyborg was partially relieved at this point. If this was all it took to being the Easter Bunny, then it wasn't so bad.
"Well, uh, my name is Josh and I'm Jewish so I didn't celebrate Christmas," he said slowly. "But I got some really awesome stuff for Chanukah! My mom got me a a pinball game, and my own autographed football-"
"Football?" Cyborg blurted out. Josh nodded and reached into his knapsack. He pulled out a football and handed it to Cyborg. "Easter Bunny, do you know how to play football?" he asked.
Cyborg jumped up and grabbed the football. "The Easter Bunny kicks butt at football!" he said happily. "Come on, let's toss the old pigskin around."
The kids cheered and all lined up in the mall. Cyborg bent down and made sure he could get the ball between his furry legs.
"Hutt, hutt, hike!" he shouted. Alex grabbed the ball but fumbled. He tossed it to Sara who threw it to another girl before she threw it over her head. Cyborg grabbed the ball, ran huffing and puffing in his large suit, and finally made the touchdown.
"Yaaaah!" the kid cheered, jumping up and down.
"What a remarkable festival occasion," Starfire sighed happily. "The ceremony began with relating over gifts, and now Bumblebee as the winged fairy is giving candy to the children. Now it looks like she wants them to perform in a ritual dance for this holiday known as Easter."
"Ok everyone, now its time to do the 'Hokey Pokey'!" Bumblebee said. She stuffed a CD into a Boom Box and hit the PLAY button. Just as the kids began to shuffle into a circle, Cyborg was fidgeting.
"Do I really have to?" he asked. She nodded and pushed him into the ring. The music started and the kids began to sing and dance along: "You put your right foot in. You put your right foot out! You put your right foot in and you shake it all about.You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, and that's what it's all about!"
It was a good think Cyborg was inside of that bunny suit or else everyone would see him getting pinker than his ears.
Cyborg winced but stuck out his big furry foot. "You put your left foot in..." he began very quietly.
No more than five minutes later, he forgot about it and found himself dancing with all of kids, shaking and doing the Hokey Pokey to his heart's content.
"You put your backside in, you put your backside out, yput your backside in.."
"And you shake it all about!" he laughed, wagging the bunny's furry bottom and fuzzy cotton tail. The kids giggled and cheered.
"Can we do the Bunny Hop, Easter Bunny?" begged Alex. "Sure!" Cyborg said happily. They all lined up and began to dance.
Dum-da-da-da-dum-DUM DUM DUM went the music. The line of kids bounced back and forth along with Cyborg who was at the front of the line.
"These ritual dances known as the Hokey Pokey and the Bunny Hop appear to be enlightening for the spirit as well as the soul," Starfire said happily. "Perhaps we could find the time for such dances to increase positive attitude around Titan's Tower."
The video camera now was directed at a cruel-looking smile and two lopsided eyes in an orange face. With a shriek, Starfire jumped back and nearly lost control of the camera.
"Brother Blood, head of the HIVE Academy, collects the heads of his enemies!" she gasped aloud. She looked around his office, wondering if he had any other trophies besides the large orange head that was on his desk. No other heads were found.
Starfire glanced at a small piece of paper written on the desk. She picked it up.
"This must be the name of his victim," she murmured, squinting at the small words scrawled on the paper.
Starfire clasped her hands together and bowed her head out of respect. "Rest in peace, orange-skinned warrior once known as Jack. I swear on your vegetable looking head that the Titans will stop with this atrocious behavior-"
Footsteps meant it was time to depart. Insomuch as Starfire wished she could take the head and give it a proper burial, its removal would mean a dead giveaway and send Brother Blood after the Titans. Starfire turned off the video camera and flew out the window without Jack.
Brother Blood was preoccupied in the finishing touches of his jack-o-lantern and whistling away cheerfully when he heard a knock on the door.
"Excuse me sir," said the high squeaky voice of his assistant.
"Go away, Minion!" he shouted, waving his pocket knife. "I'm busy!"
"Yes sir, but the exterminator has come to see you. He says you requested a private appointment," Minion whimpered.
Brother Blood frowned. "I didn't call the exterminator. Do we have a rodent problem in the HIVE that I am not aware of?"
"I don't think so, sir."
"Idiot!" snarled Slade, who had just appeared in the doorway. Brother Blood watched the man's large hand grip Minion's neck in the doorway. Minion let out a high-pitched squeak as Slade stepped into the room.
"How many times do I have to tell you that my alias is 'Deathstroke the Terminator'?" he demanded heatedly.
Brother Blood shook his head and tutted.
"Minion, you know better than to use shorthand in the schedules," Brother Blood chided his assistant.
"Anyhow, maybe I could arrange for some proper business cards for you, Slade," he offered. "This way, no one would get your name mixed up with pest controllers."
Just as Slade was imagining how the HIVE leader's face would look when pounded into the floor, Brother Blood snapped his fingers.
"Oh yes, now I know why I asked you to come. I have your new apprentice!" Brother Blood beamed.
"I don't want another apprentice," Slade said irritably. Brother Blood must have ignored the comment on purpose because he removed his hands behind his back and pulled out something.
"Ta-da!" he sang around. Slade's lone eye glared at him.
"It is an ugly yellow oversized hamster," he said coldly.
"Hamster? No no no, it's called a 'pcket monster'!" Brother Blood said proudly. "A supernatural creature with amazing powers and can do your bidding upon command."
"If I wanted a pint-sized monster to do my work, I would have had Terra do it", Slade retorted.
"But this one conducts electricity," protested Brother Blood.
"I am not interested in taming idiotic creatures like that one," Slade said, pointing to the creature with a menacing finger. The little creature just glared back at Slade and jumped up and down.
"Pika-pika-CHU!" it went, spraying sparks of white light all over the place. Brother Blood shielded his eyes from the brilliance of the electricity.
"I'm sure he's already tamed and housebroken," he explained to Slade. "Shall I have Pikachu go make merry hell for the Titans?"
Slade threw up his hands in disgust. "Oh, very well! It's not as if your students can do the work anymore since we ran out of mayonnaise!"
"Pikachu!" Brother Blood shouted, snapping his fingers. The small yellow creature looked up and blinked black eyes at him.
Brother Blood held up a picture of the Titans. "These are your enemies, Pikachu! You must destroy them!"
"I mean it! Destroy them!" Brother Blood shouted. He noticed Slade was glaring at him out of the corner of his eye and he cleared his throat.
"Ahem! Maybe Pikachu would be better off going and searching for the Titans alone," he laughed nervously. He picked up the little creature and dumped him out the window. Pikachu scuttled down the street as fast as he could.
In the center of the town, three teen villains stood poised with the last of their messy but not so deadly Mayonnaise Bombs. "You think those snot-nosed freaks have had enough?" asked Gizmo.
"If not, we crush em into concrete!" Mammoth laughed, cracking his knuckles. They all grinned nastily at each other, ready to relish another victory over the Titans. Suddenly, a loud squeaky noise came down the street. "Wazzat?" asked Gizmo. Jinx put a hand to her forehead and glanced down the road.
"Look!" she shouted, pointing a finger. The squeaking noise was getting louder and louder, accompanied by cranking sounds.
"Duh, looks like a big wooden mouse," Mammoth said.
"Wooden mouse?" Jinx wrinkled her nose.
Gizmo's little eyes grew wide in his head. "Its its it's. . . it's a giant wooden bunny!" he squealed with delight. The tiny tech freak jumped up and down with excitement.
"Watch it, you might wet your pants," Jinx said, knowing what he did when Gizmo was hysterical. "Dontcha get it? It's Easter! I'll bet that bunny is just brimming with chocolate!" Gizmo laughed. He started running towards the giant bunny. Jinx and Mammoth, also unable to control their sugar cravings, ran up to the wooden creature.
Mammoth banged on the rabbit with one large fist. "How do we get the candy?" he asked.
Gizmo held up a small drill. "It's kind of like a piñata, I think. You gotta drill a hole and get all the goodies inside."
Before he was able to start, Jinx held up a hand. She pressed her hand against the side of the rabbit and listened.
"BB, stop squishing me!"
"Its not MY fault, his elbow is in my ear!"
"Someone is touching my Welfogies!"
"Speedy. . ."
"Raven, control. Remember control-"
Before Jinx could scream out "Titans!" or "We're under attack!" or "The old Trojan-Bunny-hide-in-wooden-creature-and-stop-the-enemy trick, we should have known!"
Before she could react at all, a large wooden door opened in the side of the rabbit.
"WAAAAH!" went Beast Boy
The Titans all tumbled out and landed in a huge heap on the ground, dust swirling around them. A very perplexed Robin was gasping for breath, nearly flattened by Cyborg while Raven was trying to untangle herself from Bumblebee's wings.
Aqualad noticed Speedy's hand reaching for Starfire's butt. "Don't even think about," he glared at the masked archer.
"Titans, go!" Robin shouted. They clambered off each other and dashed towards the Triad.
"Under attack! Under attack!" Gizmo squealed. He started to run away but felt something nasty and wet running down his leg. Damn, I should have switched to pull ups he thought to himself. Cyborg picked up the pint sized trouble maker and began to do his stuff.
Robin and Aqualad got behind Mammoth and clobbered him on the head, while Beast Boy morphed into a green ox and gave him a powerful kick in the pants. Just as they seemed to finish, Aqualad walked up to Mammoth. "I've waited a long time to do this," he laughed. Grabbing the monstrous male by his waistband in the back, Aqualad yanked up his underwear as hard as he could. "Power wedgie!" he shouted as Mammoth roared in pain.
"Ha ha ha! Nice one!" Beast Boy laughed.
Jinx tried zapping Bumblebee with her hexing powers, but the second girl kept flying around. "Cant you stand still for once?" Jinx snarled. Suddenly, she was distracted by a blast of air that flipped her skirt up. Squealing from the draft and blushing like a tomato, Jinx pulled down her dress and turned around. Speedy smiled at her.
"PERVERT!" she screamed, blasting him down with her powers. Raven took her chance. "Azareth, Metreon, Sinthos!" she commanded. Jinx was knocked over.
"Run away! Run away!" Gizmo bawled, running down the street. Rubbing his aching backside, Mammoth followed, accompanied by a red-faced Jinx.
The Titans slapped each other high five. "We kick butt, we kick butt," Cyborg sang. Starfire beamed aloud. "I wish to embrace all of my friends in the Giant Group Hug of Happiness," she smiled, spreading her arms apart. Met with frozen faces of disgust, Starfire sighed and dropped her arms. Speedy was about to accept her very generous offer when he noticed Robin was glaring at him.
Robin's demure changed and he cleared his throat at once. "Beast Boy, Speedy, thanks for your great idea." He rapped his knuckles on the wooden bunny. "How did you guys ever think of such a great idea?"
A snarky grin was all that responded to his question.
"Friends! Friends!" Starfire cried with delight, interrupting their Monty Python madness. "I have a wonderful idea. In honor of our victory, we can partake of the happy Earth Dance of Joy."
Robin frowned. "What Earth Dance of Joy?" he asked. "I never knew we had one."
"I, uhm, saw it performed, ah, on the television," Starfire said lightly. "I believe it was called the O.K. Pokey."
"The OK what?" Aqualad demanded.
"Star, you mean 'The Hokey Pokey'?" Cyborg asked nervously. Starfire's red head bobbed up and down.
"Yes! The once known as the Hokey Pokey! It looked like such a lovely ritualistic dance, may we do it now?" Knowing at last something about the captivating forces that women have over men, Starfire batted her long black eyelashes at Robin and made her jewel green eyes take on that extra sparkle.
"May we, Robin?" she asked in a child-like voice.
"Well, uh. . " Robin scratched his head in thought. Starfire got her eyes to do the entire Anime glitter effect, and flower petals swirled in the air. Robin was hooked.
"Oh hell, why not? Come on, Titans. Lets do the 'Hokey Pokey," he said.
"Here?" Aqualad demanded.
"Now?" Cyborg gagged.
"Here. Now," Robin said. And he put his foot in the center of a circle, began to sing: "You put your right foot in, you put your right foot out..."
One by one, the Titans all joined in the dance. All but one.
"Raven," Starfire chirped merrily. The dark eyed girl glared venomous daggers at the alien.
"There is nothing you can say or do to tempt me to do the Hokey Pokey," Raven said in a voice as low as Death Valley. The alien girl was not depressed in the least. Starfire's video camera at last would be put to use.
"Forgive me, friend Raven," she whispered softly into Raven's ear. "Perhaps your excess indulgence in chocolates has made you too ill to dance?" Raven's left eyebrow began to twitch madly. Her chocolate cravings were bad enough. If anyone was to find out then she could not forgive herself.
"All right, you Tamaranean freak," she growled. Reluctantly, Raven stuck her hand into the circle and mumbled the words. "Louder!" Starfire laughed merrily. Wishing she was as close to death as possible, Raven sang, "You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, and that's what its all about!"