The Fellowship on the Oregon Trail


LiL Pippin Padfoot

Summery: Okay, so One day, my friend Trisha and I were really bored during Social Studies Class, so our teacher let us use the computers. And we played Oregon Trail. Well we gave some of the people names from the Fellowship. And here is the story of how the Fellowship did not survive the Oregon Trail.

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Warning: Extreme Stupidity and Character Death Ahead.

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Disclaimer: I own not anything.

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The first death began with Merry. We had been hunting, and well let's say hobbits don't have the best aim. He died two days from Independence of an ACCIDENTAL (that's for Trisha who insists that it was on purpose) Gunshot wound.

The Second Death was Boromir. Poor, poor Boromir, he never saw it coming. We came to a river, and Trisha said we shouldn't go across, but Boromir said the water was fine. He and his wagon went right in. Sadly, the water was up to his head, and he went up the river, never to be seen again.

The next death was very unfortunate. Bill the Pony was bit by a rattle snake. Trisha said he died because of me! I only told Bill to suck it up, and continue as usual. Trisha says I'm a murderer, I just say it was a coincidence. Well, he up and died two days later. Go figure.

The next death was Pippin. This was one we could have both foresaw. You see, he went herb gathering, and well, he ate some poisonous shrooms. That was of course, after he was shot by a gun and bit by a rattle snake.


Sadly the end of Samwise was very sudden. One minute he was there cooking dinner, afterwards, he was choking. Turns out he ate a few bad eggs. The thing about the eggs was that they were rattle snake eggs, and the rattle snakes had hatched. Yeah. Moving on.

Gandalf. Gandalf's death was very odd. After Pippin and Sam died, he said there was too much stress, and that he needed a proziac. Then he caught a fever. And we threw him- I mean we let him die, then we threw him out.

(Frodo and Gimli's deaths created by Trisha)

Frodo was the next to die as we went through a desert; he started to act very odd. Saying he was dying of thirst. Last time we saw Ol' Frodo Mad Baggins, he was lying on the ground licking his very large, round blue eyes. Some folks still say you can here his tongue lapping at his eyeballs, now empty sockets. Lick, lick, lick...

Gimli's death was unfortunate. One town away from Oregon, he sits down and starts to cry. Says his axe had up and dyed. And that was true; someone had dyed his axe pink. Well poor Gimli's heart just gave up and guttered out. Though some that saw it said it was on the account of him being shot, accidentally of course.

(Now, back to me.)

Aragorn made it into Oregon. Where he declared himself king. Then he found out he was in America. Then he was accused of trying to overthrow the government and was hanged. Such a bad end for a wonderful person, so full of potential.

Now, we get to the nitty gritty death. Legolas, the immortal elf, did not die. Some say he up and let his hair grow out brown, and then he became a sheriff and changed his name to William Turner. Not wanting to be associated with the Fellowship, he then became a Secret Agent Man. And lived out his immortal life in the Wild West. Some say you can still see him, every day at 12:00 at the Old Sheriff's office, long ago desserted, for his daily cup of Wine.

And that is how the Fellowship, died, and didn't die on the Oregon Trail.

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I warned you.