AN: A product of when I watch standup comedy about magicians on Comedy Central.
It had finally happened. Ran and Shinichi were getting married in a week and so like any group of reasonable friends Heiji, Hakuba, Takagi, and Kaito took Shinichi, against his will, to a bachelor party.
It turned out, unfortunately, to their wives, girlfriends, and fiancé that they had just a little too much fun.
Doing what, even Shinichi couldn't figure it out.
It was fortunate that they had such a reliable witness for the latter part of the evening.
Kaito cheered as the wind hit his face.
"Hey! Siddown or anyone watching would think it's you getting married!" commented Heiji.
"Yeah," interjected Takagi, "When ya gonna marry that girl you got? I see you guys together."
"Kid and Aoko sitting in a tree," sang Hakuba.
Everyone looked at Shinichi sitting in the front seat with Kaito, "I got dragged out by you guys and I know I won't be able to remember anything in the morning so for your safety shut up!"
Hakuba smiled, "Yeah he'd probably figure it out so that no one could find the body."
"That's bodies," said Kaitou.
The drove down the deserted road in the convertible as plastered as flies on the windshield.
No one was coherent enough to wonder why Kaito was driving especially because everyone had seen him drink as much as everyone else.
Shinichi came upon that point at that moment, "So why are you driving?"
"Well it's partly cause I don't have the license yet, not for another two weeks, and because I know how to handle my drinks unlike you."
"He's got a point there Kudo. 'Member how you took that Chinese sake?" Heiji grinned.
"Was that the first time you turned back from Conan? You never explained everything," hiccupped Takagi.
"Probably, it explains why he was shaky about that 10th shot," snickered Hakuba
"The fact that he was Conan makes him shaky about any alcoholic beverage!" crowed Kaito.
Everyone but Shinichi started laughing.
"You guys try being a kid for a year!"
Takagi whistled, "No thank you Conan, we got you for reference enough."
"I doubt Sato would be pleased with you."
"I don't think Sato is going to be happy with you," started Kaito, looking into the rear view mirror.
They felt that car slowing down.
"We're about to be pulled over."
"Shoot!" they said together as they came to a stop.
"So, have you guys been drinking this evening?" asked the officer shining his flashlight in Kaito's eyes.
"No sir," replied Kaito.
"I smell officer will all of you please step out of the vehicle."
"Why? We were only speeding, give me the ticket and let us go."
"Step out of the vehicle."
"He doesn't know what he's gonna get," whispered Heiji to Takagi.
They stepped out and stood side-by-side, leaning on the vehicle.
Any girl who walked by would have fainted from overdose.
"You first driver, walk on the line."
Kaito winked at his friends.
There was never a more crooked path walked.
Everyone had to keep in their laughter. Especially Takagi, he couldn't let anyone in the office know he was almost arrested.
Shinichi wasn't sure if it was acting or the truth but he chalked it up to both.
"Let me see your license," said the officer when Kaito finished.
"Don't have one."
"Then you're under arrest."
Peals of laughter went off.
"Do you know who you're trying to arrest?"
"That's the Kaitou Kid!"
"I've been trying to catch him but I never can. See for yourself."
The officer snapped the handcuffs on Kaito.
"You guys have been drinking too much. I'm gonna have to call- HEY!"
The officer looked at his hands.
"What the f-!"
The handcuffs were on his wrists.
More laughter exploded into the night.
Kaito smirked, "What's even funnier is that they don't know who you are."
They stopped laughing.
"I mean he isn't who he is."
Kaito pulled the officer by the chain of the handcuffs and pulled off the mask.
They all gasped, even Kaito.
"Kaa-chan?! What the heck are you doing here?!"
"I'm so sorry Shin-chan but Ran-chan was so worried when she said she found the note that the guys kidnapped you for this bachelor party. I tried to assure her that you'd be okay but wouldn't listen to a word of it."
"Yeah- right. Where's the camera?"
"What do you mean Shin-chan?"
"Quit calling me Shin-chan. I know you have one. You've been probably following us all night just to get pictures of my bachelor party."
"That's not true!"
"Frisk her Takagi."
Takagi turned a deep red, "I can't do that! She's your mother!"
"Well it's not like we can have Kaito do it," remarked Hakuba.
"Come on Takagi, no one will tell Sato," said Heiji reassuringly.
Takagi took a breath and stepped forward about to pat Yukiko's shoulders when...
"There's no need, I already got it."
Everyone looked at Kaito who was holding the camera like a Tic-tac package.
"I got it when I took off her mask. You guys didn't think I would have gotten it already."
"That was in a very hidden place!"
"You forget I'm the Kaitou Kid."
Shinichi realized just what had happened, Kid violated his mother.
"You get over here now!"
Kaito took off running, "You'll never catch me!"
"How about if I tell Aoko what you did!"
Kaito stopped cold causing Shinichi to run into him.
"Got it!" cheered Shinichi waving up the camera.
"Hey I thought only I could sit on Kaito like that!" remarked Hakuba.
Kaito and Shinichi looked at each other and stood up quickly, coughing.
"Now what am I going to tell Ran-chan?" started Yukiko.
"Nothing," said all the guys together.
"Like you were going to tell her anything..." said Shinichi.
Yukiko raised an eyebrow, "Fine. I'll just go home and talk about your behavior with your father. Goodnight Shinichi. Don't stay out to late."
Heiji gasped, "She just called you Shinichi, and I don't think that's a good sign."
Shinichi sat down on the ground, "I don't think I could handle anymore of this madness. Takagi, does it ever end?"
Takagi signed, "It never does man, it never does."