The Manner of the Crazy
Author's Note: You know you're bored, when you start writing random fics like this. Yeah. I'm bored. AND THERE'S MORE TO COME, TOO!!! Gah . . . you gotta love being an author, ne? Oh, and I don't own Heero's Patented Death Glare. That belongs to Sunrise Entertainment under the "Mobile Suit Gundam Wing Project." And Beast Wars and the characters therein belong to Mainframe/Hasbro. I own me. Boo-freaking-ya.
You never knew what you would end up doing as an adult. I mean, I certainly never did. Hmph. I thought that I was going to be a photographer. Well, I really am, but the material I photograph isn't what I was originally planning. Hey! You with your mind in the gutter! YEAH, YOU!!! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THERE BEFORE I GET MY HUSBAND TO BEAT YOU!!!
Ahem. Excuse my small outburst. You see, I'm the official photographer of the Beast Warriors. I hadn't even thought about being this, well, informal with them. They're really normal people . . . or as normal as you can be.
insert patented "Heero's Glare of Death" here
"Rampage, if I ever catch you trying to break into my dark room again, I'll have Dinobot BEAT YOUR SORRY SKIDPLATE!!!"
"Right. As if he could do anything to me?"
"Did you want to find out? No? Then wait."
Do you know how annoying this could be? These acting robots are quite different than their characters. For instance, Waspinator, who was standing next to me. He held up the negative, fresh from the chemicals. "Is this the one you were looking for?"
I smiled, and held it up to the red light carefully, holding it away from me. "Nope. Sorry. I think that it was the next one."
He nodded, and picked out the next negative. Usually, me and Dinobot did this, as sort of something that we did, to "bond," as he put it. We never usually got much work done, and ended up talking most of the time. On the other hand, he always seemed to know which negative I wanted to enlarge, and how I wanted to make it look. Usually, I used black-and-whites, but this time I was using color, which was more tricky. Luckily, as well, I had a double-door, with a transitioning room between them, so if Dinobot decided to join us, he could.
But we were in an argument, as usual, so he was probably sulking up on the roof. I had him this time, and he knew that I was right. He'd wait until tonight to apologize.
"So you and him in another fight?"
"Yep. Hand me the enlarger, if you would."
"What size paper?"
"Third from the top."
He frowned, then looked over my shoulder, at the negative I was carefully placing into the enlarger. "So . . . who's that?"
"One of my friends that I haven't seen in about a year. She's currently dealing with a few actors on her hands from some Japanese series."
"Ah, Sanosuke Sagara from Rorouni Kenshin, for starters. Then she has multiple others, all who want her attention, including a Ryuichi Sakuma from Gravitation and a Kurosaki Ichigo from Bleach and then a Kurogane from Tsubasa. How about that?"
I heard the first door open with a screech, then a growl at the noise. I made the hinges like that on purpose so that nobody could sneak in on me and screw up the pictures. Waspinator looked over his shoulder then handed me the paper. "Ah. I have a few things to speak to Rattrap about, Sinead. I'll get back to you later and see how these came out."
I nodded, totally intent upon my current project. Whoever had entered knew not to disturb me when I was working on pictures. When I had finished, I turned to see Dinobot there, biting his lip. I leaned against the counter, and asked, "So?"
His voice was softer, less of the almost-laryngitic tones that he had while acting on the screen. It was slightly deeper as well and more kind, especially when he was talking to me. "I'm sorry."
"Really. What you said wasn't exactly what I could call friendly."
"I know. Forgive my actions."
"And you just don't want to sleep out on the couch."
He looked down. "That isn't it. I know that I'm in the wrong."
I walked over to him, and pulled his hands into my own, looking into his optics. "And I'm also sorry about saying what I did."
He smiled, and we set about developing the other pictures. It was a talent that he had learned from me, and that he actually enjoyed. In return, he was teaching me how to sword-fight.
"Yo! Lovebirds! You two kissin' in dere, or can I come in?"
I looked up at Dinobot, who yawned, and replied, "No, we're not kissing, and no, you can't come in."
"An' why not?"
"Because," I replied, "Last time you came in, you killed the negatives and we had to do the entire shoot all over again."
"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that."
"Yeah. I didn't."
Dinobot reached over and locked to door. I smiled up at him, and we continued working on the photos. After all, a good husband helps you no matter what, eh?
"Rattrap! No posing like that!"
"Aw, but Sinead!"
"Do you want this up your skidplate? How about this? Better yet, I can have a few people hold you still, while I maneuver them bothin the way I want them up there! Or will you stinkin' behave?!"
He whimpered, and then nodded meekly. I nodded once, and he sighed, then stood normally, grinning nonchalantly at the camera. I took the picture, and then told him to go stand off to the side while Terrorsaur took his turn, grinning evilly to a 45-degree angle off of the camera. I wanted natural poses, so I told them just to pose themselves. As Rattrap demonstrated, that wasn't one of my best ideas.
The backdrop was a remote mountain range in Western Massachusetts just outside of North Adams, a town in the Berkshires. Megatron was next, and then Dinobot, who just looked off into the distance instead of looking at me. To me truthful, he was off in his own world, thinking about something that I couldn't read on his face. I took the picture without him knowing it, and then turned to the others, cupping my hand around my mouth as I yelled. "Team shots! Rampage, no shoving Terrorsaur down the mountain again. Megatron, I want you in the middle, there, with Inferno over to the left . . . a little farther away . . . there. Yo! Grimlock! By Rampage!"
"Oh, have it your way." You see, Grimlock was Dinobot's twin, and was cast as the clone since the two were born identical. He preferred the rugged, evil look that he now sported. I tolerated the bot, and he tolerated me. To be truthful, the only reason that he tolerated me was that his older brother, Dinobot, can still kick his sorry hide across the continent and back without a problem, no matter what form he sported. They were hilarious when in a wrestling match.
"Right. Two pictures! One just looking at the camera . . . there. Great! Evil grins, people!" They complied, then vacated the spot for the Maximals to group together. Rattrap and Dinobot bickered lightly, saying how once this shoot was over they'd go after each other with various forms of torture. I shook my head, taking pictures as they got into line just like I had done for the Predacons, then said, "Look at the camera!"
Dinobot hit Rattrap just as the shutter was going off. I glared at him then pointed to the other side of the group. "There. Now, please."
He rolled his eyes and did as I asked. Blackarachnia ran in at the last minute, flying across the scene. I sighed, and said, "I'm sorry, but I didn't know that auditions for Spider-Girl was being carried out here."
She grinned, and stood from the place where she had skidded to a halt. Silverbolt shook his head. "And now you understand why I never hung out with step-siblings."
Tigatron, her husband, shook his head. "Love?"
She looked at me. "D'ya think that we can get time alone tonight?"
I grinned in reply. "D'ya think that we can finish shooting first?"
"So did you!"
She laughed and I took two pictures, one normal, one of a genuine group pic. Basically, Rattrap was being held in a head-lock by his big brother, Dinobot, while Cheetor was grinning, sitting up on Depth Charge's shoulders, holding his gun to the ray-bot's head, while the other was holding his gun to his younger brother's head. Airazor was held securely in her fiancé's, Rhinox's, arms, while Optimus had stomped over to his sons, Cheetor and Depth Charge, and looking exasperated. I took the picture, then a few more, as Dinobot introduced noogies to his younger brother's head, and I caught Rhinox and Airazor in a kiss that they had thought would go unnoticed.
I looked over at the Predacons and subtly indicated that they get in there as well. They did so, and gladly. Grimlock ran over to torment his younger brother as well as Blackarachnia ran over to Tigatron. He ended up swinging her off of her feet into a dipped kiss. Megatron went over to Depth Charge and Cheetor, his nephews, and gave them disappointing looks. Tarantulus annoyed Blackarachnia, his sister, who was still kissing Tigatron, while Transmutate showed up.
She cleared her throat, and said, "Thanks for the invitation, people."
Everyone stopped, and looked at her in shock. I caught that on film! Aah, it was a Kodak moment . . .