Row Row by LorelaiGilmoreDanes

Disclaimer: I own nothing! AS-P & Co. owns Gilmore Girls.

Important: SPOILER ALERT!!! Please do not read if you do not wish to be spoiled by some contents of this script.

Intro: I will not pretend as though I truly know these characters; therefore, inner thoughts andfeelings will not be written. Only AS-P has the power to write saidinner thoughts,and write them well. After all, they are her characters. This is my speculative script based on spoilers of 5.10 ("But Not as Cute as Pushkin"). I must also stress that I do not consider myself a good writer, and this is for pure entertainment. We all need something to keep us sane till the next episode. Reviews will be appreciated.

Shout-Out: LuvzAfunAthing, the greatest ff writer! I must say – I enjoy the great discussions we have! You have so many great ideas; I just wish you would come back and write us another amazing one!



Luke's Diner – Day 1 – Morning

Lorelai walks in.

LANE: (Holding two plates in her hands) Hey Lorelai.

LORELAI: Hey... (Looks around as she walks over to the counter) Where is he?

LANE: If you are talking about your significant other, he just stepped out for his monthly 30 minute outing.

LORELAI: (Looks confused) His what?

LANE: Well, any day on the third week of the month, he goes out around this time for exactly 30 minutes. (Thinks to herself) No, I am wrong – last month he was here in 29 minutes.

LORELAI: You make a note of the time?

LANE: Oh, no... no. Caesar does – it's easier for him to do it because he's back there in the kitchen. I just shout out a random word so he knows when to start counting.

LORELAI: Uh huh. So, what word did you use today?

LANE: 'Illustrious'... (confused) or was it 'Acidulous'? I can't remember.

LORELAI: Two totally different words, Lane.

LANE: I know. It happens... a lot.

LORELAI: Oh no. (Grabs a muffin from the tier while Lane starts cleaning the counter top) So he just does this 30 minute thing every month?

LANE: Yeah, he usually tells us where he's going – I mean, whenever he needs to run an errand; but not on the third week of the month. So, I figured it was probably to pay some personal bill or ugh... just... you know, walk around the block to get his monthly workout.

LORELAI: 30 whole minutes of workout for a month?

LANE: (Stops wiping the counter) Oh no, I am sure he works out more than that. I mean, he does have those arms. Or at least he seems like he does...

LORELAI: (Amused by Lane's rambling) Uh huh...

LANE: ...not that I am saying he only has nice arms. I mean, I am sure he's got the whole package...

LORELAI: (Amused beyond belief) Uh huh...

LANE: (Starts stammering) I mean... ugh, I am sure no one has to tell you about his 'whole package'... 'Cause of course, you know...

LORELAI: Oh yes, I do. (Keeps grinning at poor Lane).

LANE: God, please make me stop! (Looks up at Lorelai) Coffee, to go?

LORELAI: (Still grinning) Yes, please.

Luke walks in through the front door and sees Lorelai.

LORELAI: Hey there... Lane was just talking about you (Grins at Lane).

LANE: (Shouts) ACIDULOUS! ILLUSTRIOUS! (Walks away with the coffee pot).

LUKE: Huh? (Stunned atthe shouting– shakes his head at Lorelai) She's been doing that a lot.

LORELAI: (Chuckles and leans in and gives Luke a quick peck on the lips – then looks at him) So... ran an errand?

LUKE: What? ... Oh... Yeah, I did. (Attempts to change the topic)... I have to get to work. So, I will see you tonight?

LORELAI: (Surprised at how quickly he changed the topic) Ugh, yeah. You will see me... tonight. (Walks towards the door with a confused expression).

Fades into black...