SUMMARY : Legolas and the gang are busy pulling pranks on one another. But when it involves humans, someone is bound to get hurt.
Hello, everyone! I'm alive and still kicking. Ready for another adventure of Legolas and the gang? Here it comes.
But before that, most of you might have realized that one of my fic—yes, the controversial one—'Triple Jeopardy' has been removed by ffnet over a week ago. Why? Don't ask me. I'm still confused. The only reason they gave me was that the story had violated the guideline, using things that are not allowed such as interactive, chat/script, real person, mst, etc. I even sent a mail to the Admin and asked them to be more specific with their reasons, so that I won't repeat whatever errors I've made. But I guessed they are too busy too reply to little old me. Well, what can I say? Looks like I have to keep making more mistakes until my membership is removed from the board altogether! LOL!
So if some of you still want to read 'Triple Jeopardy', just e-mail me and I'll send the entire story to you. If you're lucky (or unlucky, whichever you prefer), I might drop a short uncut story along (The one that is not fit to be posted on this board due to its extra R-rated scenes). And if you find any of the fics in the ffnet not to your liking (including mine), don't bother submit a flame or review. Just click on the button of 'Report Possible Abuse' and the story will be history, no questions ask. Trust me. It works! Just see what happens to 'Triple Jeopardy'! Really, I'm still laughing from here to Valinor! LOL! (I'm quite surprise they didn't remove 'Temptation of Madness' though, because I think that is the most outrageous fic I've ever written.)
Okay, enough about that. Now let's see what Leggy and his three companions have gotten themselves into this time. (Yep. Kel and Ell and Ro are in it!)
NOTE : This story takes place right after 'Turbulent Vengeance' where Legolas and Keldarion's age are about equivalent to human's twenty and thirty-years-old respectively. (Still acting like little kids though.)
P/S : I think you all better jot down my e-mail address ). They might remove this story and me from the board after what I've just stated above. He he…
It was early morning in Mirkwood when a sudden shriek came from one of the guest rooms in the royal dwelling, disturbing the otherwise peaceful atmosphere.
And then, someone was shouting, "LEGOLAS! AI, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR THIS!"
Elladan was glaring balefully at his discarded boots as he cursed and ranted, almost frothing at the mouth. His brother, Elrohir, who had been awakened by the noise, looked on from the other twin bed with a bemused expression on his face, his eyes still droopy from sleep.
"STUPID INSOLENT WARG-FACED IMP!" Elladan had still not finished with his tirade. "LEGOLAS!"
The person in question finally appeared in the doorway. Leaning against the doorjamb with his arms folded across his chest, the golden-haired prince of Mirkwood grinned rakishly. "Yes? You call?"
At that, Elladan growled and strode for Legolas with his arms outstretched, thinking of strangling the prince's throat. "Why you little…!"
"What the blazes is going on in here?" Keldarion, Legolas' older brother, suddenly appeared. He was frowning as he glanced between them back and forth. "You will wake father up with all this ruckus."
Still grinning, Legolas leapt out of Elladan's reach and hid behind his brother. "Yes, Ell. Calm down, will you. The king will be so mad if you disturb his sleep."
"Calm down?" Elladan's eyes were huge in his ferocious glare. "You want me to calm down after you've placed snakes in my boots? I almost died from shock when I put them on! Look at my left foot! I was bitten, you toad!"
Elrohir instantly burst out laughing, collapsing into his pillows with his shoulders shaking. Keldarion bit his lip to stop himself from smiling. He glanced at his younger brother, his head shaking. "You did what?"
As Elrohir kept laughing in the background, Legolas shrugged in nonchalance as he walked towards the ill-fated boots, keeping himself as far away from Elladan as possible. He put his hands inside the boots and pulled out the two little crawlers that had given the boots' owner the scare of his life.
"See?" Legolas let the snakes curl around his arms. "They are just garter snakes. They are harmless."
Elladan didn't know whether he wanted to jam his boots or the snakes down Legolas' throat. Or maybe I can tie the creatures round his neck and strangle him, he thought.
"Harmless, my butt!" The elder son of Elrond advanced menacingly towards the prince. "I told you, they bit me! And will you stop laughing for a second, Ro!"
Elrohir laughed all the harder.
"Oh, don't be such a baby, Ell," Legolas responded and, much to Elladan's disgust kissed the snakes' smooth heads. "You know they are not poisonous. Their bites won't kill you."
"Right, but I can kill you."
"All right, all right. Knock it off," Keldarion quickly intervened when Elladan grabbed hold of Legolas' neck and shook him. "Release the stupid brat, Ell. I'll kill him later for you. And, Ro, you had better stop laughing before your brother kills you."
Chuckling, Legolas sat down on one the beds, still cradling the snakes. He was glad that the prank he 'planted' that dawn had turned out to be a huge success. "Ell, Ro, meet my little friends here, Elladan and Elrohir. I call them El and El for short."
The three elves stared at Legolas without blinking, Stupefied.
"You named them what?" Keldarion asked, almost choking with laughter.
"El and El? After our names?" Elrohir grinned as he got out of his bed, scratching at his bare belly. "Very…um…creative, Legolas."
"Very suicidal is more like it," Elladan fumed. "You really want me to kill you, don't you?"
After sending a last glare at Mirkwood's younger prince, the Rivendell elf picked up his boots, tilted them upside down and shook them vigorously. Satisfied that no more snakes—or any other kind of animals—lingered in his footwear, Elladan finally put them on.
Stifling a yawn and feeling a slight regret that his sleep had been cut short by his brother's screaming, Elrohir reached blindly for the shirt he had draped over the back of a chair the night before and put it on.
Not long after, the younger son of Elrond broke into a loud shriek.
"Argghhaiiiieeee!" Elrohir howled as he jumped from one foot to the other, twitching and shuddering and wriggling as he frantically worked his hands into his shirt to get something off his back.
Elladan's eyes bulged at the spectacle.
Legolas grinned even wider, thoroughly enjoying the comical scene.
Keldarion rolled his eyes and muttered, "Great. Here we go again."
"LEGOLAS, I WILL KILL YOU!" the younger twin was now screaming. Elladan and Keldarion instantly went to his aid, grabbing him to keep him still as they helped search for the offending item. After yanking the shirt off Elrohir, they finally found the culprit—another two-foot-long garter snake.
"Ah, you've found El!" Legolas enthused and took the creature out of Keldarion's startled grasp.
"Another El?" The elder prince was torn between laughing and yelling at his brother.
"And what does this El stand for?" Elrohir glared as he accepted a fresh tunic from his twin. "Elrond?"
"No, silly." Legolas smiled indulgently as he stroked his pets. "This one here is named Elwyn. It's a female, see?"
"And what if it's a male?" A new voice suddenly came from the doorway. "Would you have called him El Thranduil?"
The youngsters froze. They turned and saw the king of Mirkwood standing there in his sleeping robe, scowling back at them.
"Well, Legolas?" Thranduil asked again.
Legolas gulped. "What do you mean, father?"
"Never mind my first question. But I want you to answer this one; who started all this annoying racket?"
Three fingers pointed at the golden-haired prince.
Grinning sheepishly, Legolas shrugged. "I guess I did."
"I thought so." Thranduil nodded grimly. "I can see that for myself. You are holding the evidence."
Legolas looked down at the snakes in his arms. "Ah…yes, well I…"
"Get rid of them," his father ordered.
"I'm going, I'm going." Relieved to find the means for escape, Legolas did exactly that. He went out onto the balcony, vaulted over the rail and leapt the twenty-feet down.
Keldarion and the twins groaned out loud.
"Father, you just let him go?" Keldarion protested.
Thranduil smiled, crossing his arms. "He has just had his victory. Let him gobble it up to his heart's content. Besides, he deserves it after what you did to him yesterday."
The three young elves glanced guiltily at one another.
"Uh…you are right, my lord, but…" Elladan paused, "This isn't fair. He put live snakes in our clothing, while we just put…"
"Curls. Springy and very ladylike curls in his hair," Thranduil interrupted. "While he was asleep."
Stifling their chuckles, Keldarion exchanged amused looks with the Rivendell brothers and recalled the hairdo disaster that Legolas had suffered the day before. A heavy sleeper, Legolas had been totally oblivious when his elder brother and the twins smuggled a curling iron into his room and started to give him an instant makeover. He had come down for breakfast without combing his hair or looking into a mirror, giving his father and Thranduil's entire household—not to mention, himself—the biggest shock they had ever had in centuries. One of the servants even dropped the tray she was carrying when she first saw him, thinking that some strange girl had stolen the prince's face and clothes.
Afterwards, Legolas had to wash his hair repeatedly in the stream to get rid of the blasted curls, not fully sure that his hair would ever grow straight again. He believed he had to seek advice from the maidens of the court because they might know some measures to repair his hair—like 'rebonding technique', for example.
Walking into the garden now, Legolas whistled happily. He was delighted that the pranks he had pulled on the twins had given him the exact reaction he had wanted. His recollections of Elladan's red face and Elrohir's panicked expression would keep him laughing from here to Valinor! He'd always known that the twins were terribly squeamish when it came to snakes. Unluckily, Keldarion was not. So, knowing his brother's weakness, Legolas had other plans for him.
Keldarion was afraid of leeches.
Legolas laughed again as he put the snakes back into the rhododendron bushes, thanking them for their help. He could already imagine his brother's green face when Keldarion found the little bloodsuckers Legolas planned to put in his bed tonight.
That will teach him and the twins, Legolas thought with glee, already planning to head to the stream after breakfast to look for the leeches. No one touches my hair and get away with it.
Ever since the twins' arrival to spend the summer here about a week ago, they had been teaming up with Keldarion to pull some silly jokes on Legolas. Like naughty children, they hid all his boots, held him down as they tickled him mercilessly until he almost peed in his pants, put a live fish down the back of his tunic (Oh, he knew what Elrohir felt, that was for sure!), threw his pillows into the garden below, and even hanged his stolen leggings up at the palace flag post. Thranduil had been flabbergasted when he saw no sign of the Mirkwood standard there but his son's pants instead, flapping gaily in the wind. And, boy, the king was so not amused that day!
With a grin, Legolas walked back towards home to sit down for breakfast, his mind actively working on more plans to assault his brother and the twins, unaware that they were also planning something in counterattack.
The war of pranks had just begun…