Disclaimer: Same old song and dance (you know the routine). That's all I've got to say! Oh yes! and that I particularly love benches painted in very unusual shades of green!
Anyway! Decieved as though you may already feel, I (in fact) am formally known as Charmelite. Abarraine is currently on a lethargic journey about the country, so I will be editing and updating some of the chapters in our near future. As I am sure many of you might find the tragic news of her departure somewhat upsetting... I can assure you that Abarraine is yet alive, and that I to havewritten half of this story...So I can't really screw up the editing too badly...Can I?
Cheers :) Charmelite (May)
Please Review! And Happy Reading!
When She Smiles: Decarbonated Unicorn Cherry Soda
10 November, 1973
Maieve Aeralin Delfin
The students all shared identical, blank expressions, as they gazed meaninglessly up at the professor and occasionally, up at the clock in the muggle studies classroom. Everyone sat eagerly waiting for those last few minutes of the class period to pass. There really wasn't any particularly good reason for the students to be anxious for class to end, only the usual excuse: It was a Monday afternoon, and effects of the weekend still hadn't quite worn off.
The professor stood in his usual place at the front of the classroom, rambling off about something that was completely foreign to the student's ears. They had already endured hours of lecture about topics that served absolutely no purpose in their average wizarding lives. The students had all grown pretty accustomed with professor McVay's ramblings, they had not changed once over the thousands of Mondays that poor, unfortunate students had been stuck in his classroom. The students had no choice but to accept the impending boredom that constantly surrounded his classroom, and somehow, manage to make themselves a part of it.
If an onlooker had stood in the classroom on this particular afternoon, they would have been greeted by a symphony of tapping shoes, clicking fingernails, snapping gum, and very impatient sighs. May was no exception to this chorus line, she inadvertently found her own slender fingers keeping time with the seconds hand on the clock. She sighed loudly as the professor continued on about some muggles-related issue, and looked about her.
She had sat in her usual place: the far back, and alone. It wasn't because May had a lack of friends that she sat alone in this class. She simply sat alone because it had been that way ever since she started the class in her third year. It was her familiar routine.
May looked longingly at the empty seat beside her, void of the one thing that she knew would make this class more interesting. Her best friend, Lily Evans. May laughed quietly to herself, while making up jokes in her head that she would have been whispering to Lily, if only Lily had been taking muggle studies.
"Why did Mozart kill his chickens?..." May thought as she tried to think of a clever and witty pun, "or...Maybe Beethoven instead of Mozart..." Suddenly May was interrupted from her joke by a blonde pony tail bobbing in her face. The ponytail belonged to the fifth year hufflepuff girl who always sat in front of her. May had grown well used to the girl's endless ponytail bobbing during class, and it usually didn't bother her...well it had always bothered her, yes, but May could usually bite her bottom lip and deal with it.
But today, no. May was feeling a bit odd, and she decided that the huffie's ponytail bobbing days would soon be over. Unsure of why she had suddenly become so upset with the annoying habit, May reached for her wand from the sky-blue tote bag sitting beside her desk...Maybe it was the great number of times that the bobbing ponytail had distracted May during tests, or maybe even the few times that the girl had whipped her hair about her head trying to impress a boy while leaving May with a mouthful of soapy-flavored locks, but mostly it was because the hair had just prevented May from finishing her brilliant chicken joke.
Her wand was aimed perfectly at the course blonde locks, and just as the great bell chimes echoed throughout the school halls from the bell tower, May shouted the short incantation with an unusual amount of 'gusto'. The spell hit the girl's golden locks, and the unsuspecting girl turned towards May in shock.
Immediately sensing a change in hair style, her hands flew to examine her hair-do. But she screamed as the hair began moving up her shoulders on its own. What had once been hair, had now been replaced by thousands of tiny, black snakes, the ends of which were all implanted in her scalp.
May still stood beside the girl's desk, wand in hand, and still raised. May began giggling madly, and Sirius had soon found his way to her side. May just continued to stare and giggle. "I...meant.. (giggling)... to..turn ... (more giggling)...Wet Pasta! Ha Ha hahaha!" Was all that May managed to let escape from her lips. She leaned heavily on Sirius for support as her body threatened to give way under the oppression of her laughter.
The girl was beginning to look angry, and the classroom was quickly clearing out, so the professor's attention would inevitably be focused on the snake-situation in a matter of seconds. May though, didn't seem to notice, she just continued to laugh wildly. Sirius tugged at May's sleeve urgently, while silently wondering if the girl had gone mad.
"May! Now would be the right time to run away...!" he said quickly while eyeing the snakes apprehensively as they stuck their red, forked, tongues out towards him.
May still didn't seem to be moving too quickly, so Sirius snatched up her hand and pulled May towards the door. May still laughing hysterically called out behind her "Later, Medusa!"
Sirius pulled an obnoxious May through the hallway, weaving between the slow-walking students, and trying to escape the curious stares of other students craning their necks at May hoping to find out what all the commotion was about. Still hand in hand, May and Sirius ran through the hallways, cutting through other classrooms, and through halls that May hadn't even known existed.
When they were well away from the students, professors, and any chances of getting caught for the trouble, Sirius rounded on May.
"May! Woah, are you alive in there?" Sirius tapped her head, "What on earth was that back there?" he asked seriously, but with a small smirk at the edges of his mouth and laughter in his eyes.
May was finally beginning to overcome her giggle-fit, but was still looking rather loopy. "Ha Ha, ... I only did it because of the chicken!"
"Chicken! Or presumably was it beef?" He flashed her a somewhat quirky smile. "But I could've sworn that it was her hair..."
May looked confused for a second, "Well both!" She exclaimed while leaning towards Sirius with her wand held out like a banner in front of her. But somehow she managed to trip over thin air and start tumbling forward. Sirius quickly grabbed her shoulders, preventing her from crashing to the ground.
"May, I just saved your life! You'll owe me for that..." said Sirius with an amused expression, but May just grinned stupidly at him. Sirius responded with an odd look. "You haven't been drinking that unicorn-cherry soda that James and I left in the common room have you?"
"Oh! That was yours? Lils and I were wondering why someone would carelessly leave out such a delicious snack!" hiccup May began toying with her wand and carelessly sending sparks out of the end of it.
Sirius gave May a truly worried look. "Errr...Maybe we should go collect Lily, then find fickle little Jamsie, and try to ehhhh...'fix'... you guys, or maybe just skip the 'fixing' and head strait for the hospi..."
Sirius screamed, then glared at May who was laughing once again. "I can't believe it! You attacked me!" May had managed to explode Sirius's left shoe right off of his foot. "Errr, we really need to go find Lily now, God know what she's destroying...!" Sirius ducked, as May managed to burn a hole into a tapestry just behind his head with her wand. She aimed her wand at him again, and with a yelp Sirius began running off down the hall.
May laughed wildly once again. "Hey! I figured it out!" she called after him, "Mozart killed all of his chickens because all the would say is Bach, Bach, Bach!"
"And Amen to that," Sirius yelled back from up a couple flights of stairs.
May smiled to herself and pocketed her wand. Snapping out of her trance easily, and wondering just how many flights of stairs Sirius would manage to climb in fear of her. May started heading back towards the gryfindor house, eager to find Lily and tell her about how she had managed to make Sirius believe that one of his pranks had backfired, and most eager to tell her the new chicken joke!
Lily was sprawled out across her bed, when May entered their dorm room. Hunched over a small bit of parchment that she was staring at intently. Lily lifted her head away from the parchment when she noticed May, and gave her a smile. "How was class?"
"Oh, worthwhile..." May responded sarcastically.
"...As always..." Lily finished for her with a small laugh.
May jumped up on Lily's bed, and sat on her legs, which in May's opinion were taking up far to much room. She continued on cheerily, "But I'll just have to give you a word of warning..."
"Ut oh, those words are never good coming from you..." Lily interrupted while giving May a questioning look, and her full attention.
"Hey now," pouted May, "I'm hurt that you don't trust me."
Lily punched May in the stomach. "Trust! Ha! The idea of such a thing! Now first May, get offa my legs!"
"Nah, I'm comfortable."
" May! I can't breathe!"
"Lils, since when have you begun breathing through your legs?"
"Ugh!" Lily punched at May again, this time hitting her in the thigh. "Ha ha, now get off! You weigh a ton!"
May put a hand over her mouth in shock. "Well that's big of you!" She said unsympathetically, without moving an inch. "First you reveal that you don't trust me, then you resort to all types of violence to be rid of me, and now you're saying that I'm fat. Lily, what's next? Hiring the maffia to come and 'do away with me'."
Lily clicked her tongue in protest, "I did nothing of the sort! And how, may I ask, do you know about the maffia?"
"You never said that I couldn't watch your movies..."
"I can't believe it! You watched the Godfather! It's not your taste..."
"Oh, and who appointed you to determine my tastes..."
"Oh, come on May!"
"Well, I must admit that I was expecting a movie about, maybe, orphan boys, and kind men... perhaps a few fairy godfathers... But guns, hit men, and mob bosses...though shocking... can be equally interesting."
Lily laughed at her friend, and asked meekly, "get off now?"
Lily grunted with frustration. "Then I'm afraid May, that I'm going to have to say something that I've never said to you before..."
Lily now had May's interest. "Ohhh...threats, blackmail, criticism...what's it gonna be?"
"It's something terrible, that I've kept inside of my head until now, but I'm afraid that I can't hold it inside of me any longer..." Lily said seriously.
May leaned over and looked Lily in the eyes with delight. "You're serious! You're going to swear at me! Aren't you!"
Lily tried desperately to control the smile that was threatening to creep onto her face, then keeping her voice as steady as she possibly could she whispered, "I'm not quite sure what I might do...I'm just sooooo angry...but whatever it is, I'll be sure to catch you off guard."
"Not quite sure what your craziness could drive you too, eh!" May teased.
"Perhaps...Something like..." started Lily, but the rest of her sentence was lost in a flow of action as Lily kicked her leg out from under May, bringing it down on top of her and pinning her to the bed. In a flurry of flailing legs, ill-thrown pillows, and obnoxious yelling, May was lying pinned to the bed with Lily sitting on top of her legs.
"Alright, Alright!" laughed May, "Mercy!"
"That's precisely what I thought!" responded Lily satisfied with her attack. "So what were you about to tell me? Before all of this chaos started."
"Hey, you first!" responded a defeated May, "What shocking thing were you about to call me?"
"That's not fair, I asked you first."
"Well, I asked you second."
"What on earth does second have to do with anything?"
"I don't know, but you're the one who mentioned order!"
"Oh never mind!" Lily laughed, and flashed May a cheesy grin "But, I'd honestly be...rather...tickled to find out what splendid thing you were about to tell me!"
Lily chose her words carefully, knowing perfectly well that May wouldn't be able to resist sharing her information after such splendid word play. "Tickled, would you?"
"Why, of course!"
"Well fine!" Lily hopped off of May's legs and scooted towards her, hands in lap, just like a 5-year old ready for story time. May cleared her throat Ah-hem, and sat up strait. "Well, It's not really a big deal, I was just going to warn you..."
"Warn me...Whatever about?" Lily interrupted
"Maybe if you'd stop interrupting me you'd find out!"
"I am not!"
" If I recall correctly, your interrupting is the very reason that you haven't been warned yet..." May said with her very best school teacher look.
"You have your story completely out of line, Maieve Aeralin Delfin!" Protested Lily, "As soon as you walked into this room you blatantly refused to tell me any of your secrets."
"Oh, secrets are they now..." Laughed May, "Well if they were secrets, then I wouldn't be telling you...!"
"Secrets, declarations, letters, epilogues, play writes, ...constitutions! How would I know what it was supposed to be, you haven't yet told me!"
"There you go again!"
"Well maybe I DID interrupt you there, but that's besides the point...You are the one refusing to tell me..." Laughed Lily
"I was telling you..."
"Then why haven't I heard it coming from your lips?"
" Because you're not listening..."
"Okay lets get this strait. So far, all that we have concluded from this conversation is that either I have a hearing failure, or that you have a speech impediment."
"And your confirmed connections with the maffia..."
"Oh that too..."
"I'd say we're making good progress..."
"Yeah, if we keep it up, maybe we'll outlast the time it takes for Saturn to orbit the Sun."
The two girls laughed together, "So now, please tell me your warning..." Lily asked sweetly. "I promise not to interrupt this time."
"Well it's a rather long, extensive, and drawn out story, but the moral..."
"Wait! How can there possibly be a moral if there isn't even a story?"
Lily received a 'look' from May. "There is a story..."
"You didn't tell me a story!"
"...Because it's long..."
"Oh fine. No story then, so the moral is:..."
"If James or Sirius just happens to come up to you today or tomorrow, start acting mental...blow things up, curse random objects..." Lily began laughing, "Let them believe that you're crazy."
"Some sort of a prank May?"
"Well sort of, I led Sirius to believe that we drank some of their unicorn cherry-soda that they left out last night..."
Lily laughed, "I can't believe that they are actually thick enough to think that somebody would actually fall for that trick...mind you, there are some pretty dense first years..."
"Yeah, you'd think that they'd realize by now that none of the Gryfindors will accept food that just happens to be 'left out' over night."
"Ah, they'll never realize it...Would shatter their pride!"
May nodded in agreement, "Now it's your turn, tell me what you were about to call me..."
"Aw, May, I can't now..."
"Oh come on! It can't be anything that I haven't heard before..."
"I must admit though, It's harsh..."
"Well fine, if you must now...I was about to call you...a...yippitty poodle!"
May held back her laughter, and forced on a look of pure rage... "Why I can't believe you...you... great, blubbering...TEAPOT!"
"Teapot?" Lily shrieked, in mock outrage. "A teapot, am I? Well, look at you, May, you horrible, croaking--fire-bellied---toad!"
"Peacock!" May shot back. Lily's eyes flared an even brighter green.
"Blast it, May, this isn't Old McDonald's farm, you great old...beaver!"
Lily stomped her foot. "I am NOT in Hufflepuff, you--you–rotten piece of POND SCUM!"
May gasped... "Why of all low things you could call me..."
"Oh come on, we're just playing, right May?"
May glared back at Lily, then unable to keep the act, she broke back into hysterical fits of giggles...for about the 7th time that day. The two girls eventually collapsed back onto Lily's bed, and stared up at her canopy in silence. Both exhausted from all of their arguing.
"So what were you doing when I came up? With that bit of parchment and all..." asked May. Spotting the parchment sitting on Lily's bedside table.
"Oh, it was just a spare bit of parchment..." responded Lily casually, "I was just messing with it, then you came up."
"Most normal witches and wizards write on parchment Lil, but you're obviously a different breed..."
"Hey, who said I wasn't writing?"
"You did... or well...you failed to say it."
"I was writing."
"Then why so secretive? Why not just say you were writing?"
"I wasn't being secretive..."
"Perhaps it was a love letter...or a romantic poem...maybe, for ...James..."
"Since when have I been one to write love notes and poems?" Lily asked in disbelief.
May abandoned the thought..."Good enough point, I've always known that you were somehow incapable of emotion...So what is it then?"
"Oh, just a letter...I had nothing to do while you were in muggle studies, so I was writing to Ben, it's been awhile since I last saw him. Too long."
May, letting her curiosity get the best of her, grabbed the letter off the table and began reading it.
"Well, you've gotten real far..." laughed May.
"Yeah, took me an entire 2 hours to write all that...impressive isn't it?"
May nodded eagerly, and scanned the letter again with her eyes. She then let a dramatic gasp escape her lips.
"But Mademoiselle Lilia!" she protested dramatically, faking a French accent. "Zere is mo'e ere then meetz zee eye! Zis is inappropriate! What eef someone zees zis? We would be thrown out of ze 'igh society! Zen what will ve do?"
Lily picked a pillow off her bed and threw it at her friend. "Zen ve shall get a job, and havezt veat and potatoes... carting zem to veast china, and moeving zem 'bout zee country like traveli'ng zums..."
"Ehhh...Zums we shall be!" Declared May
"And, Amen to zat!" proclaimed Lily.
First off, thanks a Million to all of the wonderful people out there who write reviews! You guys rock! As writers, both Abarraine and I get most of our ambition to write from those of you who push us to keep going! We beg this of you: if you have found even a single sentence or our story slightly amusing PLEASE review and let us know! Also: I refuse to post the next chapter (already written) until we get at least 3 reviews for this one! PLEASE we're desperate!
Thanks expecially to:
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