Title: You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk

Summary: Remus gets tired of coming home to an intoxicated Sirius
Rating: R for language and sexual innuendo
Disclaimer: All characters obviously belong to JKR
Author Notes: This takes place after Hogwarts before Sirius goes to Azkaban.. many thanks for Lissa for beta'ing
Warning: slash-irific!

A/N: I really am still writing "Under the Willow" and other various WIPs.. promise! I have just been side tracked lately. So, while you wait, here's a little one shot :)

You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You're Drunk

"You only tell me you love me when you're drunk," Remus observes wryly one evening.

"Tha's not true, Moony," Sirius says. He's hunched over the kitchen table, his head resting on his arm. The other hand is wrapped around a bottle. Absinthe of the wizarding variety.

"It is," Remus says, "You only tell me you love me when you've had entirely too much to drink."

"But I do love you!" Sirius insists with the conviction he can only muster when he's drunk. He sits up straight and blinks rapidly as the world spins in front of him.

Remus smiles in spite of himself. He knows he should be angry, to come home most nights and find Sirius inebriated. He knows he should be worried. (Surely that much alcohol can't be healthy?) But instead, Sirius smiles at him and melts any anger or worry that may have been surfacing. Then, he says I love you before passing out and Remus takes him to bed, pulling up the covers before kissing him on the forehead.

"I love you too," Remus tells him now. He wraps his arms around Sirius' neck and kisses the top of his head. Sirius tilts back his head to look up at him and they kiss again, awkwardly and upside down. Sirius giggles and Remus rolls his eyes. He picks up the bottle gently from Sirius' hand and puts it away in the cupboard. Sirius doesn't protest.

"Should we get you to bed?" Remus says lightly with a smile.

Sirius nods slowly and pushes back his chair with his feet. He gets up, ignoring the way the room is spinning. He knows he must have stumbled by the way that Remus appears immediately at his side as a support. Sirius gives him a lopsided smile before allowing himself to be lead into the bedroom.

"I wanna fuck you," Sirius says lazily as Remus unbuttons his shirt.

Remus has the grace not to laugh, but smiles nonetheless. "I hardly think you're in any shape to do that, love."

"But I want to…We never fuck anymore, Moony. Why don't we fuck any more?"

"Well, Sirius," Remus replies while taking off Sirius' belt. "We never fuck any more because when I come home, you're always bloody sloshed out of your mind."

"Well tha's not fair," Sirius mutters as he strokes Remus' back absentmindedly.

Remus snorts. "You don't have to tell me, love." He lets Sirius' pants fall to the floor and steps back to undo his own shirt.

"Okay, okay," Sirius says with wild hand gestures. Remus raises an eyebrow. "Tomorrow I'll make it up to you."

Remus smiles a little sadly. "You always say that."

"No, no, this time I mean it!"

"Again, you always say that," Remus says dryly.

Sirius reaches out to Remus and fumbles with his belt buckle. Remus closes his eyes and lets him do it. He tries to pretend that Sirius is sober and that he genuinely wants to make love, but the smell of alcohol on his lover is making it quite difficult to pretend at this exact moment.

"Let me," he says finally and undoes the buckle in one smooth gesture. Sirius gapes at him, causing Remus to crack a smile.

Sirius steps out of his pants, managing to do so without tripping. He takes one more step before half-collapsing on the bed. He rolls over on his back and watches while Remus steps out of his pants and crawls onto the bed beside him.

"Tomorrow," Sirius says as his eyelids droop. "Tomorrow is fuck day."

Remus doesn't have the heart to argue so instead he leans over and kisses Sirius on the forehead.

"Goodnight, love."

"G'night. I love you, Moony."

"I love you too, Pads," Remus replies but Sirius has already fallen asleep, his limbs splayed this way and that.

Remus gives a light sigh and rolls over, making a mental note to send Sirius owls throughout the day saying something to the effect of: "It's fuck day. Less drinking, more fucking." That should do it, he decides with a nod.

"Nox," he says and the magically lit lanterns extinguish, leaving him surrounded in darkness and the distinct smell of absinthe… wizarding variety.