AN: Greetings and salutations! This is my first ever fanfic! Wouldn't you know, it's a parody. If you're reading it, PLEASE REVIEW! Constructive criticism would be extremley helpful. I need all the help that I can get!
Dude: You can say that again!
AnonGirl88: Shut up. hits Dude with a wet mop Let's get started. And I'm only going to do this stupid disclaimer ONCE so pay attention.
Disclaimer: AnonGirl88 does not own the characters of X-Men: Evolution, nor does she own The Little Mermaid. This is a non-profit parody of which AnonGirl88 is not gaining any profit from.
The Little Mermaid: Evolution
A seagull caws far off in the distance as waves crash gently on a sandy beach. A sixteen year old girl with thin framed glasses and short red hair wearing a dark blue t-shirt and jeans is sitting beneath a palm tree, passed out and snoring. A coconut flies from out of no where and smacks her on the head. She wakes up instantly, very angry.
"OW! What was that for!" she screams in the direction the coconut came from.
"You're on!" a voice whispers.
"What do you mean I'm, oh." she looks forward and instantly smiles. "Hello! And welcome to The Little Mermaid: Evolution, a parody of the Disney movie," she pauses to pull out a clip-board. "The Little Mermaid, performed by the cast of X-Men: Evolution. I am the director, AnonGirl88. Well, what are we waiting for? Lights, came-"
"NON! NON, NON, NON!" Remy Lebeau stomps angrily over to AnonGirl88.
"Not now, Remy." AnonGirl88 says boredley, flipping through the papers.
"OUI, NOW! 'DERE AIN'T NO WAY YOU GONNA MAKE REMY DE STUPID CRAB!"
"You get to see Rogue as a mermaid."
"Remy'll be backstage if you need him." Remy says pleasantly before leaving.
"That's what I thought. Alright, where were we? Oh yeah, lights, ca-" Before she can finish, Pietro speeds up from out of no where. "Oh for heaven's sakes, what now?" she snaps at him.
"WhydoIhavetobeoneofthestupideels?" he asks rapidly.
"Slower, speedy." AnonGirl88 says.
"Why do I have to be one of the stupid eels?" Pietro repeats.
"Because that part is perfect for you." she replies. "He's evil, sneaky, manipulative, kind of charming."
"Flattery will get you no where."
"Get lost!" She hits him with her clip board before he speeds off. "Action!"
The music begins to play as the camera leaves the beach and shows the sea. Seagulls fly in front of the camera just as a large ship comes into view. Singing can be heard as the sailors pull up their fishing nets.
I'll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue
and it's hey to the starboard heave ho!
Look out lad, a mermaid be waiting for you
in the mysterious fathoms below.
Scott leans over the side of the ship and inhaled the sea air.
"Isn't this great? The salty sea air, the wind in your face." He inhales once more before sighing happily. "Perfect day to be at sea."
"Oh yes, delightful." a very green Jason says before clamping his hand over his mouth.
"Wow, great job with the make-up!" AnonGirl88 says from off stage.
"He didn't show up for make-up." Kitty says, also off stage.
Jason groans while Piotr comes up to them.
"A fine strong wind and a following sea! King Triton must be in a friendly type mood!" he says enthusiastically.
"King Triton?" Scott asks.
"Why, ruler of the Merpeople, lad!" Ray says, taking the trapped fish out of the net. "Thought every good sailor knew about him!"
"Hmph, merpeople." Jason says, wiping his mouth with a hankercheif. "Eric, pay no attention to this nautical nonsense."
"But it ain't nonsense, it's the truth!" Ray says, waving a fish in Jason's face, making him turn even greener.
"Ray, stop waving the fish around, I don't want to have to clean up any messes." AnonGirl88 yells from off stage.
"I'm telling you down in the depths of the ocean they live!" Ray adds, getting in Jason's face. Jason takes a step back and slips on a puddle of sea water. He and Ray both fall down, and the fish which Ray was holding slips out of his hand and lands safely in the ocean.
It looks up at the boat and gives a relieved sigh before swimming away. As the fish swims, various sea creatures appear, then mermaids and mermen swim. Slowly, a huge castle appears in the distance and gradually comes closer. The merpeople go inside and take their seats in an auditorium. Forge, as a sea horse, swims forward and clears his throat.
"His awesome grooviness, King Triton!" He announces.
"Forge, that was supposed to be Royal Highness!" AnonGirl88 yells. "Oh never mind, just keep going."
A giant sea shell carriage led by three dolphins arrives, driven by Hank. He uses his triton to light a huge chandelier, producing very pretty sparks in the process. Everyone in the audience applaudes, then Forge continues.
"And presenting the distinguished court composer, Horatio Felounious Ignatious Crustacious Sebastion!" he yells.
A tiny sea shell carriage led by two gold fish comes in, driven by Remy as a small crab. While he's waving to the crowd, his gold fish buck and he almost loses control. He manages to fix it though and drives along side Hank.
"I'm really looking forward to this performance, Sebastion." Hank says to him.
"Oh ho ho yo' majesty." Remy says, chuckling a little. "Dis will be de finest concert Remy have ever conducted. Yo' daughters, dey will be spectacular!" He holds on tighter as his gold fish buck again.
"Yes, and espeacially my little Ariel." Hank remarks as he parks his carriage in his balcony seat while Remy parks on the railing. The dolphins swim away as the carriages settle. Unfortuanatley, Remy's turns upside down.
"Oui, she has a most belle voice." Remy says as he struggles to turn his carriage right side up before driving down to the stage. "If only she would show up for rehearsals once in a while." he adds under his breath.
He parks on the conductors pedestal and pulls out a large rolled up paper and a conductors wand. He looks at the band, taps the baton before raising it. The band members get ready and begin playing when Remy starts to wave his baton around. Three giant clams appear on the stage. They open to show Kitty, Amara, Rogue, Amanda, Jubilee, and Tabby as mermaids, two to a shell. Remy instantly cat calls at Rogue, who is sitting with her arms folded, looking angry.
"Remy! Just wave the baton! You can flirt with Rogue later." AnonGirl88 yells from backstage again.
"No he can't!" Rogue yells.
"Just sing already, we're falling behind schedule." AnonGirl88 replies.
Oh we are the daughters of Triton
Great father who loves us
and named us well.
The girls swim up out of their shells and sing a not after their name is called.
The girls then surround a fourth giant clam shell which is slowly rising out of the stage floor.
And then ther is the youngest
in her musical debut!
Our seventh little sister
we're presenting her to you!
To sing a song Sebastion wrote,
her voice is like a bell!
She's our sister, Arie-huh?
During the last line, the clam shell slowly opens up and reveals that it's empty. Remy looks extremly nervous, but Hank looks extremley aggitated.
"Ariel!" he exclaims angrilly.
The scene immeadiatly changes to show Jean at a sunken ship. Sam, as small yellow fish, struggles to catch up.
"Ariel, wait for me!" he says, slightly out of breath.
"Flounder, hurry up!" Jean says, looking back at him.
"You know ah can't swim that fast." Sam says when he finally catches up.
"There it is!" Jean says excitedly, pointing to another sunken ship. "Isn't it fantastic?"
"Yeah, yeah it's great." Sam replies, sounding nervous. "Now let's get out of here!"
"You're not getting cold fins now, are you?" Jean asks him before swimming over to it while carrying a bag.
"Who me? No way! It, uh, it looks damp in there, and, uh, ah think ahm comin' down with something. See, ah got this cough." Sam says, faking a cough as he follows her.
"Alright, I'm going in." Jean says while looking into the port hole of the ship. "You can stay out here and watch out for sharks."
"Okay." Sam whispers, nodding. "You go, an' ah'll watch ou- WHAT? SHARKS? ARIEL!" He double takes and rams into the port hole, but he gets stuck. "Dang all you can eat pizza night. Ariel, help!"
"Oh Flounder." Jean says, laughing slightley.
She grabs Sam by his fins and tugs.
"Ariel, do you really think there might be sharks here?" Sam asks fearfully, not seeing the giant shark swim by right behind him.
"Flounder, don't be such a guppy!" Jean admonishes him. Sam finally squeezes out with a slight pop.
"This is, uh, great, ah mean ah really, uh love this." He says, looking around apprehensivley. "Adventure, excitement, danger lurking around every-" Suddenly Sam sees the skeletal remains of a pirate and begins to scream and panic. He bumps into a wall, causing some of the ceailing to to fall onto him. "ARIEL! he screams, swimming over to Jean. She catches him and gets knocked back.
"Oh, are you okay?" she asks, very concerned.
"NO AH AM NOT OKAY!" Sam screams.
"Sam, do it right!" AnonGirl88 yells from off stage.
"Yeah, sure, ah'm okay." he says shivering.
"Shh." Jean says, looking up. She swims up to the scond deck and looks around before finding a fork. She immeadietley swims over to it. "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Have you ever seen anything more wonderful in your entire life?" she asks Sam after grabbing the fork.
"Wow, cool! But, uh, what is it?" he asks.
"I don't know, but I bet Skuttle will!" she says, stuffing the fork into her bag. There is a growling noise in the background which Jean doesn't seem to hear as she swims off to look at other stuff, but Sam hears it.
"What was that?" he asks, obviously freaked out. "Did you hear something?"
"Hmm, I wonder what this is?" Jean says to herself, not listening to Sam.
"Flounder, will you relax?" Jean finally looks back at him, not noticing that Sabertooth the shark is looking in through the window. "Nothing is going to happen." Sam looks in her direction just as Sabertooth crashes through.
"AAGGHHHHHHHHHH! SHARK! SHARK! WE'RE GONNA DIE!" he screams as he and Jean swim away as fast as they can.
Sabertooth chases them around the sunken ship smashing and eating everything in his path. Jean's bag gets caught on a piece of wood and almost gets left behind. She goes back for it and grabs it less than an inch from Sabertooths jaws. She and Sam swim into the port hole they came in through. Once again, Sam gets stuck.
"Oh no, not again!" he yells, still panicking.
Jean pushes him through right before swimming through herself. Sabertooth crashes through and continues chasing them. Sam accidently slams into the mast and knocks himself silly. Jean quickly goess down to get him, then swims throught the ring on an old anchor. Sabertooth tries to follow, but ends up getting stuck. Sam manages to regain himself, and when he sees that the shark is trapped, he can't resist taunting him.
"You big bully!" he says before blowing a rasberry.
Sabertooth growls and snaps at him, so Sam screams and swims after Jean.
"Flounder, you really are a gupy." Jean says to him, laughing.
"Ah am not!" Sam retorts.
"And cut!" AnonGirl88 yells. "Okay, Forge, turn off the holograph machine." The holographs fade away, revealing that all the merpeople and talking fish are really people wearing SCUBA suits.
"Alright, that was excellent people! Same time tomorrow." she says from her submarine as everyone leaves. Almost everyone.
"HELP! I'M STUCK!" Sabertooth yells from his imprisonment, struggling to get out of the anchor ring.
"Fishy, get him out there, please?" AnonGirl88 says pinching the bridge of her nose. "And no biting his head off just because you get frustrated. You remember what happened last time."
"WHAT! KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!" Sabertooth manages to get out and swims away at a speed that would make Pietro jealous.
"Works every time." AnonGirl88 says with a huge grin.
There it is. The first chapter of my first parody. Reviews shall be taken by the cameraman/ muse, Fishy the purple and green shark. If you review, you will get a shout-out. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go track down the next chapters cast, and a certain psychotic hottie!