Disclaimer: CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan and its elements found herein are copyright CLAMP, Kodansha, and all that apply. This fanfic is for entertainment (if one could call it that) purposes only.

From Theft to Murder
A CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan deathfic in Ijyuin Akira's POV

Today is such a fine day. From the moment I arrived for Student Council work this morning, I already thought so.

The past days have been so hectic and tiresome for the CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan. There were more cases than Kaichou, Takamura-sempai, and I could handle all at once. Luckily, it looks like today is not going to be one of them.

It was bright and sunny outside when I headed to the office. I didn't show this to the other elementary students walking along with me, but I had a gut feeling that maybe it would rain.

What I mean is, something terrible may happen today.

I hope not.

And right now, Sempai's creased brow is worrying me. That could only mean one thing…

Kaichou is acting queerly.

And we don't know why.

Although it is troublesome whenever this recurs, everything is predictable. Kaichou's "surprising" behavior once in a while has taught me to anticipate Takamura-sempai's honest reaction to it.

And three…



" Ijyuin,"

There. See? It is predictable, the way this happens.

" Kaichou has not asked for a break since he started two hours ago."

" It's rare that Kaichou is working with such effort."

" Yes. If he's always like this, the Student Council work gets done."

I hid a smile when Suoh-sempai said that. This is very mean of me to say, but there are times when I find him so funny.

Funny, for beneath his stoic front is a concerned friend. I don't know why he even bothers to hold it back. Maybe he was trained to veil his feelings, being a ninja. Maybe it's to uphold professionalism among us officers, so that things don't get out of hand and personal while we're at work.

I appreciate his efforts, but his reticence is just so pointless sometimes.

No, make that most of the time.

Okay, all the time.

If only he knew my outward defenses…

" This is strange." I said in my best wondering tone. I wasn't lying; the situation really was strange–if I weren't so used to it already.

This "phenomenon" of Kaichou working seriously without taking a break, though it's a rare occasion, was already traditional for the three of us.

For me, at least.

And as the next step of our "routine", Takamura-sempai seemed pleased with my reaction. I don't think he ever notices that I always agree with him at times such as this.

For this was already traditional for the three of us. He was certainly expecting me to agree with him.

It's a good thing I know that.

" Something's wrong with Kaichou."

That was exactly the conclusion I was waiting to hear. And to gracefully bring our ritual to a close, I concurred again with a nod.

It was only then that I looked at Kaichou. It was also only then that I understood why I felt it would rain.

Kaichou was sitting on his large armchair, leaning over to his paper-strewn desk. He had a pencil in his writing hand, obviously engrossed in the document before him.

I didn't take my eyes off him for two, three minutes. Takamura-sempai helped my concentration by doing the same. There were times when Kaichou was working as seriously as he was now…

… But this time was different.

I could feel the hair at the back of my neck stand. My hands were cold and clammy.

Beneath his blond bangs, Kaichou's gaze rested on me. He had never shot me such a look before. His eyes mirrored awareness… a certain knowing.

Is he on to me?

Now that meaningful look of his was not something I had expected as part of our routine, especially because it wasn't.

I stole a glance at the wall clock. Two minutes to teatime. If I'm not mistaken, oolong calms Takamura-sempai's nerves. I hope some of it will soothe mine.

"Oh, it's almost three. I'll go make some tea."

Suoh-sempai nodded. I did not risk eye contact with Kaichou anymore. Yes, I was evading him, but I'll be back right away.

Is now the time he chose to condemn me?

Kaichou is amazing, very cunning indeed. I can't blame him that he knows I'm Kaijin Nijyuu Mensou. That's actually why I'm often in awe of him… and I make a visible effort to show it.

My mind wandered as I prepared tea. I knew I was stalling; I wasn't looking forward to returning to a confined space with the testy Kaichou just yet. But I was faster than I thought–soon enough, I was carrying my tray inside the room.

My range of vision seemed to narrow down to Kaichou's serious face. Truly, I salute to him for figuring out my secret on his own… No, with Utako-san's and my help. He once heard Utako-san say that she will be the bride of Nijyuu Mensou–gods, I can't let Sempai see me blush! Not now!–and he took it from there. I still admire his wit though I know I have never exerted a conscious effort to hide my feelings for Utako-san.

And to confirm his suspicions about me, Utako-san has… well, never shown a disliking for me in front of him, too.

No, I am not blaming Utako-san for Kaichou's consciousness of my secret. I would never blame her! Never!

On the contrary, I am thankful for her honesty. Because Kaichou knows, I have nothing to fear.

So why am I scared now?

More minutes have passed. Kaichou's eyes were on me once more and not on the document.

A tingle ran down my spine when Takamura-sempai suddenly spoke.

" He's been going through that paper for a while now."

His words relieved me. So far, Suoh-sempai believed that Kaichou was focusing on his paperwork and not on me. Surely he would never think I'm nervous; he doesn't even know that Kaichou's giving me the creeps.

Please Kaichou, not now…

Sempai does not know of my other identity–and I do not want him to know now. I've always felt secure that I could trust Kaichou, but if he chose to confront me now in front of Takamura-sempai, then I may have to…

What has gotten into me??? I am NOT thinking of hurting Kaichou!!!

" Suoh-sempai, let's have some tea."

" Arigato."

As I tipped the steaming pot over Takamura-sempai's cup, I did not bother to conceal the distress in my face. Our Secretary won't get any ideas; he wore the same look as mine.

We were both disturbed. The only difference was that he was concerned with what Kaichou was doing, while I pondered what Kaichou might do.

Then I stopped. I could not take the pressure anymore. I seized the initiative and walked over to Kaichou with a weighty tray as my only stress reliever.

But my fearful feeling brought me not before his desk, but beside Kaichou himself. The same feeling warned me not to eye him squarely at a time like this.

Now this was strange all right.

Even if I was standing right beside him, Kaichou did not look up. It was as if he was staring at the spot I was standing on before I approached him.

Maybe he wasn't looking at me tellingly after all. He may have just spaced out again, as he usually does.

" Kaichou, here's a slice of angel food cake, your favorite. I also have whipped cream."

Yes, the whipped cream served as my petty peace offering.

At that point, my misgivings had vanished. I had already thrown all thoughts of hurting Kaichou to the air. I was simply concerned for him when I set the tray on his table and clapped my hand on his shoulder.

" Kaichou?"

Suddenly, something popped off his head.

"AAAH!" I stepped back.

" What is it, Ijyuin?!"

Never mind if Suoh-sempai saw me shocked. If he were me and Kaichou blew up with his touch, he would more or less be surprised too.

And sorry.

" K–K–Kaichou's head fell!" I didn't bother containing myself. It was dreadful of me to think about doing it, and now I even did it…!

I am a thief, not a murderer!

Kaichou's lifeless head fell to the floor with a thud. Takamura-sempai ran to us. He seemed to be assessing the situation. I met his stunned eyes with my scared ones, and we exchanged silent screams out of fear.

" Kaichou! KAICHOU!!!"

Both our worst fears had realized. The One he was destined to meet and protect all his life was murdered right before his eyes. I had lost my admirable Kaichou and gained the hands of a killer.

I am thankful that Takamura-sempai was wary and thorough as he always was. He lifted Kaichou's dead body and propped it upright on the chair, scanning the corpse for more injuries.

Our Student Council Secretary–who will ultimately decide who the next kaichou will be because of what I did–caught me clasping my hands together, waiting impatiently for whatever he had to say…

… To me, the thief who accidentally killed his One.

" Ijyuin."

This was it. I braced myself for anything.

" This isn't Kaichou."



What a deathfic!

This was a retelling of CGT history, from the third manga, "File 12: That's Entertainment" and the 13th episode in the anime. Y' know, the two-second scene wherein Akira touches the Nokoru dummy and a huge screw ricochets from the bogus' head. And our poor Akira believed that he actually killed Nokoru! I just loved it, so here it is…!

This deathfic–fine, I'll stop now–humorfic is a one-shot. And finished. I shall not entertain any insinuation of any continuation at any time. (Phew! "Any" is officially off my vocabulary, evermore.) Thank you for reading my very first post. Do make my day one more time by reviewing with compassionate mercy.