Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story, for Saban Entertainment owns them all. The song, 'Dear Diary' belongs to Britney Spears. This is different from all of the fics I've ever written, so if you could send me any feedback I would really appreciate it!
Today I saw a boy and I wondered if he noticed me. He took my breath away.
I have never really believed in love at first site. I mean, you have to meet someone before you can become friends with them. If you've never even met them, how can you fall in love with them? That's the philosophy that I've always believed, since it is very logical. And I firmly believe if you think things through logical, you'll be able to come up with a solution for anything. Though sometimes there are things that aren't logical; some things that just happen without having any sense behind them. I think that happened to me today. My theory on love at first site was proven wrong. I saw a boy. Not just any boy, though. A tall, handsome boy with long brown hair and shining brown eyes. His dark green shirt hung loosely on him giving me, and everyone, else a great view of his muscles. He was gorgeous! As soon as I laid eyes upon him I knew that I was in love.
But there's something I forgot to mention. My best friend also saw him. And I know she has a crush on him. I don't really know how large, but it will pose a problem if I ever try to get together with him. And I know that he looked over at her. I hope nothing comes out of that, because I think I love him. For it would pain me to see him with anyone else.
I can't get him off my mind and it scares me 'cause I've never felt this way. No one in this world knows me better than you do, so diary I'll confide in you.
It's been day since the first time I say him, yet I can't stop thinking about him! I don't know what it is, because I've never felt this way before. Sure, I've had crushes on other people, but that was different. I got over them in a few days. But with this boy; this one is different. There's a certain air about him that's different than other people. Truthfully, I haven't seen much of him the past few days. For just moving into town, he sure is busy! And it doesn't help that Rita keeps sending down her own green ranger.
What? What do you mean I didn't tell you about that. Well, a couple of days ago, a green ranger appeared. A ranger just like us except for one extreme difference: he's evil. He's working for Rita, obeying everyone of her commands. He even destroyed our link with Zordon! It's awful, because he is the best fighter I've ever seen.
Well, except for the boy. Tommy. There, I said his name. Even though we're fighting the best we can, I don't know if we're going to win this one. Especially since my thoughts have been elsewhere these past few days. I have to concentrate more on the battle at hand, because the last few days I've been zoning out. All because of him, all because of Tommy.
I can't tell anybody about this, either. I can't tell Kim, even though she's my best friend! She has a crush on him, and I don't really want to say anything to her. I can't tell Jason or Zack either, because neither one of them will understand. They would probably tease me about it, without trying to help. I mean, what do they know about love? And I know I can't tell Billy. Even though he's one of my best friends, he just wouldn't understand how I feel about this. He's too into his scientific experiments to help me with my problems in love right now. Besides, all he needs is one more thing to worry about. After all, Bulk and Skull have not given up their relentless teasing of him! I've done what I can to help, but Billy has to stand up for himself!
I'm getting really off-track today. And it's because of Tommy, because I can't keep him out of my mind. I wish - uh oh. I gotta go. Sounds like there's trouble in the park again.
Tommy was Rita's green ranger. He was the one that was terrorizing Angel Grove and torturing us. The boy that I can't stop thinking about was evil. Was evil. Jason broke the spell that Rita had over him, and Tommy agreed to join us. He's a ranger. I'm still in shock over what happened this week. And now that the spell is broken, he's been hanging out with us a lot. It's kind of hard to act normal around him, but I'm doing the best I can. But I wonder if he knows I like him? It's impossible for me to say any words to express the way that I feel about him. I think that Billy may suspect something, but he hasn't said anything.
Do you think I should talk to him? Maybe ask him out on a date, or would that be too forward? I think maybe I'll let him get used to Angel Grove before I ask him. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Even though I want to give him time, I don't want to take too long. Why, you ask? Because Kim still has a crush on him and it's becoming more obvious everyday. I really don't know what to do, because she's my best friend. I don't want our friendship ruined over the attention of a guy. Even if I like him. Our friendship is worth more than that. Maybe her crush will fizzle out, or maybe he'll show interest in me. I hope this doesn't ruin what we have.
Oh, whatever I do, he's always on my mind! I wish there was a way for us to be together! But right now it's not possible. He's still really upset about being an evil ranger, and he needs some time to open up to us. I hope it doesn't take too long for him to adjust, even though I would wait for all eternity if I had to.
Today I saw that boy. As he walked by I thought he smiled at me. And I wondered does he know what's in my heart? I tried to smile, but I could barely breath. Should I tell him how I feel or would that scare him away. Diary, tell me what to do, please tell me what to say.
Tommy is really starting to warm up to all of us. It's only been a couple of weeks, but I feel as if I've know him forever! And I think he's finally beginning to warm up to me. He smiled at me today. And not a 'it's good to see you, I gotta go' smile. It was more like a 'it's good to see you again' smile. Oh, what a beautiful smile. His dark eyes seem to fill with light every time he smiles. The whole demeanor of his face changes as a smile unfolds. It seems as though the darkness that Rita caused has suddenly vanquished, leaving nothing but a carefree boy there. Oh, I hope that I get more smiles like that.
I wish I could have smiled back at him, but I froze. With all of his attention on my like that, I didn't know how to react! I think I finally managed a smile after a few very long seconds, but it wasn't much of one. I hope it doesn't turn him away, though. I was just so surprised that any reaction that I would have normally have seemed to disappear!
But before we could talk, the rest of the gang came by. And Kim started chatting up a storm with him. I know it's unfair to Kim, but sometimes she can be so darn annoying! She can be so, so, so perfect sometimes! She's sweet, bouncy, charming, perky, and extremely pretty. I don't know if I can measure up that. And I don't know if Tommy likes all of that better than anything I can offer.
I wish I could tell him how I feel, but I think that might scare him away! I've never really been in this situation before and I'm clueless about how I should act. If I told him how I feel, he might be blown away and not want to talk to me again. But if I don't tell him how I feel, he might start going out with someone else! Oh, I'm so confused! I wish I knew what to do.
One touch of his hand, how I can't wait to see that boy again. He smiled and I thought my heart could fly. Diary, do you think that we'll be more than friends? I've got a feeling we'll be so much more than friends.
Tommy's powers are beginning to fade. I wish I could help him, but I don't know how. He's seemed really upset lately, even though we've been trying to comfort him. But nothing seems to be helping him, no matter what we do!
But on another note, I've got to tell you what happened. It was a routine day in the park, with a putty fight and all. Well, I was so busy trying to get rid of them, that I didn't notice the one sneaking up behind me. It knocked me down before I had a chance to defend myself. The putties were slowly closing in on me, and before I knew what was happening, Tommy had knocked all of them away. He put his hand out to help me up. When I touched his hand, I felt as though every nerve in my body was on fire. I felt the electricity passing between us. I think he might have felt it too, for he looked over and me and smiled one of his heart melting smiles.
I think I would have melted in my place if the putties hadn't come back and started to attack us. Tommy and I were split up as we each defended ourselves against the putties. But for those couples seconds, I felt as though I could do anything. I felt as though my heart would burst, since it was so filled with love. I would do anything for the two of us to be together. But I don't really know how to say that to him.
Do you think that someday we might be more than just friends? I hope so, but I'm not really sure. You see, Kim and Tommy have been getting really close lately. I think they might start going out. Maybe I'll ask him to the big dance, which is being held next week. Maybe I'll finally work up the nerve to ask him. I hope so, because it would hurt to see him there with anyone else, even if it is my best friend.
It's true. Tommy will never be mine. He and Kim are going to the dance together, leaving me with nothing but a hole in my heart. Ever since I found out I've been holding in the tears that have threatened to come. As soon as I got to my room I started crying, not even caring what I looked like. He's in love with Kim, and she's in love with him. That's all there is too it. And that's not all.
They kissed. By the lake. She went out to him after he lost his powers, for his powers are now totally gone. No longer will be fight side by side with the green ranger. No more will he help he up and give me one of his famous smiles. Now all I can do is dream about the things that could have been. The time we could have had together. For Tommy and Kim will be together for awhile.
But how long will it last? I don't really know the answer to that question. But I do know that I will wait for him for all of eternity if I had to. For Trini Kwan loves Tommy Oliver and nothing will ever change that. Nothing.