Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince A Play In Seven Acts

Act One, Scene One

(Enter Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred)

Harry – Prince Harry's my name.

Ron – Shut up, Harry, how can you be a prince? I'd believe you if you had a dagger under your robes, but you don't have one, do you?

Harry – You don't know that.

Hermione – Would you guys just shut up? It's driving my head in, you know. I have got to concentrate on a new spell and I can't do it if you're distracting me.

Fred – Harry, so are you going to go to your royal toilet anytime soon? I'll stand guard, I am the best at that. You can make sure that your best friends don't stick around and drive you up the wall.

Ron – I am his best friend.

Hermione – You're all driving me up the wall. The wall's gonna crash down because of me punching it if you lot don't leave me alone. Can't you see how important learning actually is?

Ron – Don't know where you got that from.

Harry – Let's leave her, you guys. She's obviously going to get mad at us if we stay. I have a new set of gobstones in my trunk, we can play that, if you like. I'm getting quite good now.

Fred – When have you ever been good at it?

Harry – For about, uh, two days.

Fred – See my point? You've only started to get good at it in the last week, and I've been a gobstones player for eight years.

Ron – Fred, just let him play.

Hermione – I'd really appreciate it if you could go now.

Ron – Fine, if you don't want us.

Hermione – Just go.

(Exit Harry, Ron, Fred)

Hermione – Now, at least, some peace. I can get on with my work now. Right, swish your wand six times while intoning the hex of your choice and…

(Enter Angelina)

Angelina – Hello, Hermione. Can I ask you about Harry and Ron? It's for my coursework. You don't have to tell the truth. It's just a person to do a model study on. Would you be willing to be my person?

Hermione – Well, Angelina, I'm busy here.

Angelina – I'm begging you, Hermione.

Hermione – Maybe some other time. I'm busy working on a spelldote right now. In about six hours, come and find me at the edge of the lake.

Angelina – Right, see you there then.

(End of scene)

(Exit Hermione, Angelina)

- - - - - - - - - -

Act One, Scene Two

(Enter Harry, Ron, Neville, Dean)

Neville – Move your counter two places, Harry.

Harry – Thanks, Neville, but I can play gobstones on my own. I'm not completely useless at it, you know.

Dean – Voldemort.

Harry – What?

Dean – Is your scar burning?

Harry – No, of course it isn't.

Dean – Well it should be, I just sensed Voldemort in this room. Harry, you normally thrash around on the floor.

Harry – I don't think we need to know that.

Dean – Well, it's true.

Ron – Hey, Harry, I'm feeling Voldemort now too. It's gone cold. Or is that when loads of dementors invade your privacy?

Harry – Cold air is caused by dementors, yes.

Ron – So why can I feel Voldemort's presence?

Harry – It's Dean's joke, and I hope you're not a part of it. Dean, it's not a funny joke, and I don't want it to be done to me again.

Dean – It's not a joke.

(Enter Hermione)

Hermione – Hi, I've just finished my spelldote and I wondered if you'd like to come and see it in action?

Ron – How can you see it, Hermione? You, of all people, should know that it's a colourless gas and it's transparent.

Hermione – Ron, a spelldote is a machine which shows up an airdote. Prince Veroni will be pleased to see it.

Harry – Prince Veroni?

Hermione – Yes, I'll tell you about him if you come and see my spelldote. I've got it up and running and it's brilliant, honestly.

Harry – Ok, I'll come.

Ron – I'm in.

Neville – I think I'll pass.

Dean – I'm with Neville.

(Exit Neville, Dean)

(Hermione leads the way downstairs and into a secret room, where the spelldote and an airdote are working together)

Harry – Wow.

Ron – Who's Prince Veroni?

Hermione – I'll tell you in a minute. You're so inconsiderate. I spent the equivalent of two whole days, forty-eight hours, making the spelldote and you don't even want to look at it.

Ron – I didn't say that.

Harry – I'm with him.

Hermione – You mean, you only came down here to find out about Prince Veroni and not to look at my brilliant machine?

Harry – We didn't say that, Hermione.

Hermione – You meant it.

(End of scene)

(Exit Harry, Ron, Hermione)

- - - - - - - - - -

Act One, Scene Three

(Enter Prince Matthew Veroni, Arabella, Mrs Mather)

(Prince Veroni's carriage is being pulled by two white unicorns, and he's wondering why he agreed to visit Hogwarts in the first place)

Prince Veroni – I'm so bored.

Arabella – Well, occupy yourself.

Prince Veroni – With what? It's so dull in this part of the country. My quill is lop-sided and my television doesn't work.

Arabella – Look outside.

Prince Veroni – Didn't you hear me? I said the countryside is so dull. I daren't look at it, so I'm stuck now. I have nothing to do.

Mrs Mather – We'll play a game. Get out your wand, Matthew.

Prince Veroni – I'm not some sort of little wizard who plays with spells, mother. You know that. I'm an illusionist.

Arabella – Yeah, one who's still training because he can't pull of the simplest illusion. I am a witch, and I'm proud.

Prince Veroni – I hate you.

Mrs Mather – Matthew, you can't say that to your sister.

Prince Veroni – Stepsister.

Mrs Mather – Arabella, do you ever wish you could be royalty like Matthew? Being waited on would be fun, wouldn't it?

Arabella – I don't want to be a princess. I'm happy the way I am.

Prince Veroni – You get what you want. I demand for things to make me feel like a prince all the time. It's brilliant.

Arabella – No, it's not.

Prince Veroni – What do you know?

Arabella – That you'll turn into a person who can't do anything for himself. You'll demand to be put into bed, for god's sake.

Prince Veroni – Oh, will I?

Arabella – Yeah, give it a few years.

Prince Veroni – Stop talking shit.

(End of scene)

(End of act)

(Exit Prince Veroni, Arabella, Mrs Mather)

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