And Baby Makes Two?

The First Day of Class: Part One, The Hex

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were walking down to the dungeons for their 'favorite class' of the day, Double Potions. The Trio knew that Snape was in rather unpleasant mood today since Peeves had decided to empty the contents of a pitcher of pumpkin juice on his head during lunch to "wash away the grease." Of course Snape glared at Harry, as if anyone could control that poltergeist except the Bloody Barron and he was on holiday with the Gray Lady, yes, even ghosts need a break from Hogwarts. Since the three were in hurry to get to Potions on time they were running through the corridors of the school and not particularly paying attention to where they were going, as a result Harry slammed directly into Draco Malfoy, sending him flying to the floor with the contents of his bag spilling out all over the corridor floors.

"Don't you think you, your Mudblood and your Mudblood loving friend should watch where you're going?" He sneered. "There are IMPORTANT people running about these corridors I'll have you know!" He said as he straightened his robes and used his wand to remove his things from the floor and return them to his bag.

"Well I'm glad we didn't knock any of those IMPORTANT people over then," retorted Harry, "and besides you should watch where you're going it is not as if you own the castle Draco."

"Potter, it is time you learned to respect those who are better than you." Draco said as he aimed his wand at Harry . Harry was searching for his wand in his robes, but by the time he got them out and aimed them at Draco, Draco had already cast the hex, "Malefacio Ingavesco!" A lavender light shot out of Draco's wand and hit Harry in the abdomen. Harry noticed a slight tingling sensation, but not much else. He reasoned that Draco was just an idiot and messed up the spell, as usual.

"You hexed me with a purple light? Wasn't that spell a bit nancy for you Draco?"

Draco just smirked and as he walked away called over his shoulder, "You have no idea Potter…see you in Potions."

"What the bloody hell is that prat's problem?" Asked Ron to on one in particular, "First he acts all narky and then he shoots Harry with a lavender spell?" he laughed to him self, "He has finally made the leap from a bit off to totally nutters!"

"Ron!" scolded Hermione "and you too Harry, just because a hex is a bit pastel doesn't mean that it isn't powerful…who knows what he did to you…maliefacio ingavesco…I can honestly say I have no idea what the spell is…honestly we should have to take Latin so we know what the hell we're saying…well Harry you should go and see Madame Pomfrey straight away to make sure you're insides aren't liquefying as we speak!"

Harry just kissed her on top of the forehead, "You are so cute when you get all worried about me. I feel fine, honestly he messed up the hex. If it had worked I would be passed out on the ground with pigs flying out of my arse or something," he chuckled, the image was kind of funny, even he had to admit.

Three Weeks Later

Hermione made her way up to the boy's dormitory carrying a box of soda crackers and a potion that Madame Pomfrey had given her to alleviate nausea. Hermione opened to door and was glad that she found the dormitory empty, she made her way over to the loo where she found Harry leaning up against the wall with a hand towel over his mouth.

"Harry you had better go and see Madame Pomfrey, you have been like this for the past two weeks and no one else is getting sick which means…"

Harry did not want to hear what she had to say, "That damned hex was a flop, I don't know of any hexes that take a week to work!" he had to stop talking because he felt the sudden urge to empty his stomach into the toilet, when he was done he sat back with his eyes closed clutching the hand towel to his mouth. Hermione could hardly hear is muffled request coming from behind the towel, "Did you bring soda crackers?"

"Yes, I did and a potion…it should help" Harry took the crackers and the potion from Hermione and ingested them slowly, he was determined to not have another meeting with the porcelain gods on that day.

"Are you feeling better then?" asked Hermione from the doorway as she gathered up Harry's school things so he could go to class.

Harry only nodded, he was afraid that if he opened his mouth he would vomit again.

"Right. Well I am going off to the library to do some research" Hermione didn't say about what because she knew it could only serve to upset Harry and she didn't have to feel like dealing with that right now, she had a pretty good idea about what was going on, but she was going to make Harry figure it out for himself…then she could say as many 'I told you so's as she wanted!

As she made her way out of the boys' dormitory Harry called after her, "You're the best Hermione you know that?" She didn't say anything, she just walked out of the door and made her way to the library to do research…one of the perks of being Head Girl, she could miss class for something like this and no one would suspect a thing.

The Next Day: Part Two, The Realization

Harry was studying in the common room in front of the fire. For the first time in the past two weeks he didn't feel like throwing up every five seconds. He still felt strange, but didn't want to admit that a dainty purple hex had knocked him off his game, he kept on hearing Hermione's voice in his head, "It isn't the color of the spell it's what it does, honestly you two can be so thick sometimes…." Harry knew she was right, but he didn't want to have to admit it. He also knew he should go and see Madame Pomfrey, but he wasn't up to being poked and prodded at, by her at this particular moment; he really just wanted to get this stupid extra credit project for Defense Against the Dark Arts done, he was so thankful that Hermione had brought the project to his attention since his grades had been slipping due to his illness.

Hermione had even pulled all the books that he would need to do the project, she was so incredibly sweet he thought as he pulled one of the old and dusty tomes from the top of the stack and opened it up to the page marked by the torn piece of parchment. Harry's eyes grew wide; he couldn't believe the words that were written on the page. This was absolutely impossible he thought;

Malefacio Ingavesco:

This spell is used to render an opponent unable to fight for nine months, due to pregnancy. This hex is very useful before a schedule professional duel, as it will give you time to better prepare, the better part of a year to be exact. The spell was developed for use on a female, but can be used on a male opponent as well. The pregnancy caused by this spell will be the worst sort of pregnancy with morning sickness throughout and a long painful labor and delivery. The baby will be the child of the one who is hexed and the person they love dearest in essence only. In reality the child will be a clone of the one carrying the child in every way. The counter curse is

Harry started to shout, "The counter curse is what…some ignoramus ripped out the page…what am I going to do?" Harry felt a surge of emotion hit him unlike anything he had ever experienced before…all of a sudden he was hunched over the book crying uncontrollably. "There has to be something I can do…I mean if I defeated Voldemort over the summer, then there has to be some way that I can overcome this…" again he was wracked by another fit of sobs over the fact that he had won the final battle in the summer following his sixth year…just when he thought his life would be normal. Harry managed to stop crying in a few minutes and then sat up, he put his hand over his abdomen, he couldn't really feel anything different, but this realization did explain a few things…quite a few actually, especially the small breasts he was beginning to develop. Initially he thought that they might be the curse…but that didn't seem bad enough, then he assumed the vomiting seventeen times a day was the rest of the curse. He was sure of it, but he never would have guessed this in a billion and half years. There was no way he was going to be able to continue his seventh year as the Boy-Who-Gave-Birth…he quickly did the math in his head, the baby would be born June. Then he gave a gasp as he realized he was going to have to give birth. "How is that one supposed to work? I don't exactly come equipped with all the necessary bits for that to work out," he said to himself, but then Hermione answered. She had been waiting in the corner of the common room for him to pick up that book and read it.

"Well, I guess you'll have to take polyjuice potion so that you acquire the necessary parts, or maybe the spell will allow you to develop them, I'm not all together sure about that. We'll have to ask the teachers since all of the spell books only say what the spell does and tells how to perform it. I've checked the entire library and there isn't a word written anywhere about how to reverse the spell…." she said it as compassionately as she could, but her words were laced with a tone that screamed out 'I told you so!'

Later the Same Day: Hospital Wing

Hermione dragged Harry up to the Hospital Wing. She only managed to convince him by telling him something about the twenty eight million birth defects she had read about in the course of her research, she lied a little and told him the only way to combat all of them was to have a run over by Madame Pomfrey. Harry was not looking forward to explaining this one, but he hoped that she would have a cure for this…but then the more he thought about it he realized that this was a life growing inside of him, it was a chance for him to make up for the life he took from Voldemort. It didn't matter to him that the man was evil; he hated the idea of having to take someone's life away. But then he just wanted his normal life "Maybe I could convince Hermione to have the baby transplanted into her body," he thought, just for a second.

Madame Pomfrey was not shocked to see the Golden Couple of Hogwarts walking into the Hospital Wing. She had been brewing up anti-nausea potion now for almost a month, she was waiting for Hermione to realize that she was pregnant; needless to say she was more than overcome by shock when she heard the truth.

After the shock had worn off a bit Madam Pomfrey was able to grasp the severity of the situation. "What hex was it that you said produced Mr. Potter's condition, Ms Granger?"

"Well I don't want to say it around him, might make the births multiply for all I know. Here I've written down everything I could find about the hex, even the things from the restricted section."

Madame Pomfrey read everything that Hermione had written down. "Ms. Granger, you haven't included the counter hexes in your research."

"That's just it Madame Pomfrey, someone has gone through all of the books and removed the counter hex. Is there anyway to find out what the counter curse is?"

"Well there is only one person who would know the answer to that…but before we get ahead of ourselves, we need to assess Mr. Potter's condition, if there is a counter curse I need to make sure he can handle it."

Harry disappeared with Madame Pomfrey behind the curtain that provided privacy to an area that housed some pretty scary equipment, the likes of which Harry had never seen before. After a few minutes, Madame Pomfrey came out from behind the curtain with a bewildered look upon her face, "I don't know how in blazes I am supposed to examine him!" She tried to put the next part delicately. "The curse put the baby in there all right, but there isn't anyway for me to check it the way I normally would, if you know what I mean."

Hermione's face was a tinted a very mild shade of red, "Of course, maybe we should get Professor McGonagall or Professor Dumbledore?" she asked

"You stay with Mr. Potter and I'll go and find Minerva and Albus," and with that she left the room. Hermione made her way behind the white curtain and saw quite a hysterical sight. She had to bite her bottom lip in order not to laugh. Harry was sitting up on a hospital bed with a horrified look on his face. "Hermione do you know what that woman did to me? She she tried to…oh it is so horrible I can't even say what she tried to do! I don't know how women do it honestly, I have never felt so violated in my entire life."

"I'll tell you the same thing my mum told me, grin and bear it, love." Hermione was about to talk offer him some more words of advice, but she was interrupted by the return of Madame Pomfrey accompanied by Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore.

Part Three, No Cure

Dumbledore stood at the foot of Harry's bed, which made Harry slightly uncomfortable, after all he was naked underneath that sheet and with every hand motion Dumbledore made as he spoke he came closer and closer to pulling the sheet straight off the bed…it was bad enough being The-Boy-Who-Lived and pregnant at the same time, he didn't need to be naked in front of a room full of people to top it all off. Harry was so preoccupied with trying to keep the thin sheet on his body that he forgot to pay attention to what was going on around him, he only finally realized that something important was going on when he heard Dumbledore, "Is that going to work for you, Harry?", the headmaster was looking over his half moon spectacles at Harry. Harry also noticed that the three women who were in the room with him were just staring at him waiting for a response. Harry just tugged at the sheet and drew his knees to his chest, "I am sorry Professor. I didn't hear what you said."

A very befuddled Hermione sighed, "Honestly, Harry!" she walked up to the side of the bad and sat down next to Harry, then she turned to Dumbledore silently asking for permission to explain everything to Harry, he nodded and then took a seat on a chair he conjured with a slight swish of his wand. " Harry, what Professor Dumbledore said was that there is no way to know what the counter curse is…the only books that are know to exist that contain that information were in the Hogwarts library," she paused and grabbed Harry's hand. "There is no way to undo this curse, you are just going to have to wait it out and have to have the baby."

Harry's eyes grew very wide, he was certainly not up to another eight months of being ogled over by Madame Pomfrey…having his privates exposed so she could see if "there was a window available for the little Potter." The only little Potter he knew of was certainly too small to allow access either in or OUT for something of that size… "I can't have a baby, how in the bloody hell is it supposed to come out?"

"Well Harry," began McGonagall, "We thought of the Muggle C-Section, but it is too risky to do in the school and we can't send you to St. Mungo's they'll do all sorts of experiments. So I'll just have to figure out a way to transfigure…erm…well you know." A slight blush actually spread out across her cheeks.

Harry sat back silently in the bed and just thought to himself, "This is bloody embarrassing, the pain wasn't so frightening now that he knew that the baby wouldn't have to create its own way to get out…but bloody hell did McGonagall have to see him in the nude? And what is this about no bloody counter curse? I am going to kill Draco Malfoy…or better yet, I am going to do the same thing to him."

It was as if Professor McGonagall was reading his thoughts, "And do not…Mr. Potter, get any ideas to put Malfoy in the same condition in which you find yourself! Especially after I tell you this last bit of news…no Quidditch for the entire school year!"

"But…" he started to protest, but he saw the stern looks coming from the three women and a shrug of concession from Dumbledore and he knew that was the last that would be said on that subject.