Noises From The Dressing Room

Author: Gothic Spook

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Category: Humour

Rating: PG I think

Summary: What could three of our Agents be doing in one dressing room?

Spoilers: None

Archive: Anywhere that wants it, just let me know!

Disclaimer: If you recognise it, I do not own it!

Authors Notes: This is based on my experience of being a dressing room accident and what my friends heard outside, while two other friends were in there with me.

"Come on you two! Let's see what they look like!" John called from his seat in front of the dressing room.

"One sec!" Dana called back. Dana, Monica, John and Mulder had all come out to the local shopping centre. The girls had found a couple of things they wanted to try on. Mulder was sitting next to John outside of the dressing rooms in which the girls were changing.

"So what do you think?" Monica asked as she came out, Dana came out of the dressing room next to Monica's a few seconds later.

"Wow! That's looks amazing," John stated as he looked over her in a beautiful, short dress she was wearing.

"You have to get that!" Dana told her firmly.

"I think I will!" Monica stated and then she looked at the top Dana had on. "You have to get that top, it's definatley your colour."

The girls went back into the changing rooms. A few minutes later Dana came back out and stood next to Mulder.

"Come on Monica!" Mulder yelled.

"Hang on ... Dana! Can you come in here a second please!" She called out, she sounded a little shaky.

The men watch Dana go into the dressing room, they could hear Monica and Dana talk.

"Oh my god! How did you manage that?" Dana asked.

"I don't know! Just help me lift!"

"You push them in, more, more, lift ... okay arms up!" Dana sounded out of breathe. A second later her head popped our of the curtain. "John, can you come in here please?" John and Mulder shared a confused look before he got up and went into the room. Again Mulder could hear what was being said and was shocked at what he heard.

"I'll push and you pull Dana, Monica keep your hands in the air and one, two, three, go!" Mulder heard Monica groaning.

"Get it off! Take it off me now!" Monica sounded flustered and desperate.

"Damn that's tight," John gasped out. Dana and John were heard laughing.

"Stop laughing and do it!" Monica told them, a second later they stopped laughing. Shuffling could be heard.

"John get your hand in there, Dana you need lift real hard!" Monica instructed.

"What the hell?" Mulder said to himself as he listened.

"That's it! That's it! Keep going! Keep it coming! Come on guys! Put some force into it!" Monica yelled at them.

"Monica if we went any harder you'd be dead now!" Dana told her as she caught her breathe.

"I don't care! I need it at the moment or else I will die!"

"Get your trousers of and do it the other way." John calmly instructed. Shuffling of clothes could be heard as a groan followed by Monica's voice.

"Oh God!" She moaned out loudly as she breathed heavily.

"Don't worry Monica! We'll take care of you!" Dana said soothingly.

"It's far to tight. What if I wiggle my fingers while they're inside to loosen it up?" John queried.

"It's working! Oh my god!" Monica moaned out. "Dana keep working it from behind! John keep doing that with your fingers!" She instructed as she grunted. John and Dana's heavy breathing could be heard now.

"We'll keep it coming, but you have to go down, that's it, is it coming yet?" John asked.

"It's coming! It's coming!" A few more moans were heard followed by shuffling and grunts. "That's it! Oh my God! I can't believe we just did that. Good thing Mulder wasn't here with us, I would have died!" Monica stated as her breathing slowly came back to normal.

Mulder couldn't believe it. Had he just heard what he thought he heard? Did they just do what it sounded like in a public dressing room? Surely they had more sense than that. They were FBI Agents. If they were caught it would be the end of their careers. He may have understood if only John and Monica were in there, but Dana as well was in with them. What was she thinking? Was she tired of him and wanted to be more adventurous? She would have talked to him definatley if she had wanted to try something new.

"We'll be waiting outside for you to get re-dressed Monica," Dana told her as she and John both came outside to find Mulder with a shocked expression and his cheeks bright red.

"Hey Mulder you okay?" John asked as he sat down exhausted.

"I can't believe that just happened!" Mulder stated.

"What? It happens all the time in these places." Dana stated naturally. Mulder looked at her shocked.

"All the time?!" Mulder couldn't wrap his mind round the whole situation. How would Dana know it went on all the time in dressing rooms? Why would she had willingly been in there with both John and Monica? No, he was over reacting, they all could have been in one dressing room for a completely different reason.

Just then Monica came out, looking red and exhausted. Well that threw Mulder theory out of the top story window! One of the employees came up to her.

"Will you be buying that miss?" She asked.

"No, I've changed my mind." And Monica handed the employee the dress.

As they walked out of the store after Dana had paid for her dress Mulder was still confused.

"Why didn't you get the dress?" Mulder asked Monica.

"I wouldn't let her have that dress after what we just went through!" John told him firmly as he held tightly onto Monica's hand.

"What's that got to do with her not buying the dress?" Mulder asked, still confused.

"Because if it always needs at least two people to help her get the dress of every time she wears it, I refuse to always help." Dana stated.

"Hold on a second ... What?" Mulder asked, completely confused.

"SHe couldn't get the dress over her breasts and needed help getting it off." Dana explained to him.

"Oh ... OH!" He now realised what was happening inside the dressing room.

"Why do you sound so shocked? What did you think they were doing to me?" Monica asked.

"Nothing."

The End