Summary: What happens when you fall in love with your best friend?
Disclaimer: Not mine. They belong to Klausky, Viacom, Nickelodeon and whoever else claims them. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.
A/N: I know it's been a while since I've written anything; I've been on a sabbatical of sorts from writing, trying to sort out my life. But here is my new story and I promise that eventually I will update my other one's that I've been neglecting lately. The quote at the beginning of the story is from The Crow: The Lazarus Heart and the author is Poppy Z. Brite. Also, this story is slash and if you do not like slash, please refrain from childish comments and flaming me for what I chose to write about. I will laugh at your ignorance and make sarcastic comments about your intelligence. Also, the Rugrats are of legal age and in college.
Dedication: To my best friend, only you know how true this story is. This is for you. Only you know what the meaning behind this story is."All the story is just a fairytale and fairytales never come true."—The Lazarus Heart
The first time I ever heard that line; I was taken aback for the fact that in my world, fairytales rarely do come true. Not to say that I've had a bad life, or a hard life for that matter.
My life, by normal definition, has been pretty easy. I had two parents, a brother, and friends that stood by me no matter what happened. However, I didn't have the one thing that mattered most to me; I never had love. A love that withstood the test of time, a love so deep and everlasting that when you're not around that person, you want to feel like your dying inside. I never had that love, because I was never looking for that love.
Honestly, I didn't believe in love. Love was for other people, never for me. Not to say I was a girly-girl, because in all honesty, I wanted love. I just was jaded somewhat on love, because I had seen so many relationships fail. Until the day she walked into my life and stole my heart away and wouldn't leave it go.
We had been friends since we were in diapers, since before the adults could understand what we were saying, when we thought that we were invincible toddlers. We've been friends since I could remember. I couldn't imagine my life without her. All of the sudden, without warning, I was struck with the realization that I loved her more than life itself. Now the question was: did I tell her and risk losing the best friend I ever had, or did I let her know my feelings and maybe find a love that would never end? So, as my heart is in a quandary, I see her walking towards me, a smile lighting her face as she comes near me.
"So, Lil, what are you writing about this time?" she asked me, as I quickly shut my notebook and looked at her.
Giving me one of her standard looks, I met her gaze steadily. "You know, you never used to keep secrets from me."
Averting my gaze, I looked at the grass in front of me. "I'm not keeping secrets. I'm just writing some stories for English class."
"Stories, huh? Let me read them."
"Not now. When they're perfect, then I'll let you read them."
Shaking her head slightly, she lets the subject drop, for which I am grateful. If she was to read my stories, she would know how I feel about her and that would not be good for the fact I know that she doesn't feel the same way about me.
"Earth to Lil. Come in Lil."
"Oh, huh, what?"
Smiling indulgently at me, she leans back on the grass and I see the humor in her eyes as she regards me. "I said, do you have a date for the big frat party on Friday night?"
"Oh, no, I'm not going. I think I'll just stay in my room that night and work on homework."
"Homework on a Friday night? Come on Lil, what's your deal? You never go to parties or anything like that anymore. You've basically become a recluse since our sophomore year. Come to the party tonight."
"No. Parties aren't really my thing."
"Thing coming from the woman who in high school would be out from Friday night until Sunday morning, partying up a storm."
"Well, I've grown up since then. Now I know what I want to do with my life and I can't be going off and partying all the time."
"All the time? Lil, this is just one party, one Friday night. Come on, for me? Please?" she gives me her puppy dog eyes, knowing that I can't resist that look."
Sighing, I give in to her, knowing that if I don't, she'll just follow me around, begging me to go with her. "Fine, I'll go. But know that this isn't willingly. This is because you know I can't resist the puppy dog look."
Laughing, she touches me on the arm. "I know. That's why I did it, you've never been able to resist it since we were kids." Starting to walk away, she comes back and puts her hand on my shoulder and I stiffen almost instinctively. "Thanks Lil, and who knows? This could be the night that you find love."
Omega Beta Ki Frat House
The sound of pulsating music assaults me as I walk up to the frat house. Wondering why I came to this (and knowing I hate parties), I look for the nearest corner to go hide in without being seen. Unfortunately, before any of this could happen, in she walks with two guys draped across her arm. Feeling my heart drop to my knees, I take a drink off the table and down it in two gulps. I knew this was a bad idea to come to this party tonight. I knew something like this would happen.
"Lil!" I hear her shriek half way across the room. I paste a smile on my face and walk towards her. "I'm glad you could make it. This here is Richard and this other one is Timothy."
Nodding towards them, I can't notice how beautiful she looks. Wearing tight black leather pants, a halter top and leather chunk boots, I have to force myself to look away from the cleavage that she's exposing. Blessed generously in the well-endowed department, I have to force myself not to drool and make a scene. "So, how do I look tonight?" she asks me.
Beautiful, lets go upstairs. I have to stop myself from saying. Clearing my throat, I look at her. "You look great."
Richard slides her hand down towards her ass, grabbing it gently. "Come on, babe, I want to introduce you to my brothers." She moves away from him and goes towards Timothy. "I'll be with you in a minute, I want to introduce Timothy to my friend Carl."
"Well, how about you, Lil? Would you care to meet some of my frat brothers? I promise that they're all harmless and that they won't bite unless you ask them too."
Smiling slightly, I nod and follow Richard, hoping that things don't spiral out of control and that Kimi can handle her own with the amount of guys in the room.
As we turn around the corner, he pushes me up against the wall and starts to slide his hand up and down my stomach. Twisting to get away from him, I wonder what the hell is going on. "What the hell do you think your doing?"
"Come on, baby. Did you really think that I was going to introduce you to my brothers when you look that hot tonight? I want you all for myself."
Pushing him away, I looked up at him. "Then why did you come with Kimi?"
"Because I thought that she would be an easy piece of ass and that I could get some from her. Obviously, she's an ice princess. We've been out together three times now and she won't give it up."
Using all my willpower not to reach over and choke him, I looked up at him. "Maybe you're just not her type, did you ever think of that?"
"Then she must be a dyke, because I am every woman's type."
"Conceited much? You're not my type either."
"Oh come on, you don't even know me. How can you know if I'm your type or not?"
"Because I don't like arrogant assholes who think their god's gift to women. And besides, you have so many muscles that you look like you've been strung out on steroids."
I saw a hint of anger come into his eyes at that remark. "I am a football player, I do not take steroids."
"Please, you have the yellow-tinged eyes that are a dead give away. You also look like you have no neck."
Pinning me against the wall, I feel his muscle press into my stomach. "Yeah, but I've got you at an advantage. I'm stronger than you, I can hold you against your will and there's not a damn thing you can do about it except scream and with as loud as the music is, no one is going to hear you. So, go ahead and scream bitch, no one can hear a damn sound over the music."
Feeling my heart start to beat faster, I looked up at this Incredible Hulk wanna be and I swallowed the bile that was fast rising in my mouth. "Please, God, let me go. I promise I'll do anything you want me too. Just please, God, don't hurt me. I promise that I won't tell anyone."
Laughing bitterly, he looked down at me. "Now, see, I can't do that, because frigid princesses like you need to be taught that you can't tease a man forever. I mean, I saw how you looked at me when I walked up with Kimi tonight. You wanted me, and now you're saying you don't. I don't understand why you're playing hard to get with me. You want me and I'm going to have you."
Attempting to break free from his body, he laughs and steps back. "I'll get you later, Princess, that I can promise you." Turning and walking down the hall, I see him plaster on a smile and greet everyone that walks by him. Shuddering, I turn and walk quickly away from the place that this bizarre exchange took place.
Later that night
With the music and the laughter flowing throughout the room (and the amount of alcohol that was still flowing), I found myself standing in the corner of the room; sipping on a beer and just watching the people float in and out of the room. Most of the people were now couples and that made me feel lonely, watching them look at each other like there was no other one else in existence.
Sighing, I set down my drink and started towards the door when out of the corner of my eye I saw Kimi heading upstairs with Richard. Feeling a since of foreboding come over me, I follow them with my eyes and see Richard's smirk come across his face as he looks down at her. Letting my eyes follow them, I feel my stomach start to knot up and I wait until they're out of sight before I follow them up the stairs.
Following them around a corner, I notice that there are four doors and they all look the same. Not wanting to just bust into any room and not have it be them, I hesitate for a split second, wishing that I would've followed just a little more closely so I could've known what room they had gone into. Before I can decide what to do, I hear a high-pitched scream that sends a shiver down my spine and sends me into a gut reaction on what to do. Running at high speed towards the first door I heard the scream come from, I throw the door open and notice Richard on top of Kimi and Kimi struggling to away from him.
"Leave her go, you bastard." Diving towards Kimi, I managed to get between Richard and her, kicking Richard squarely in the shins. Groaning and rolling off Kimi, he looked at Lil with complete malice in his eyes. "You little bitch, how dare you come in here and interrupt a private moment between two consenting adults. You don't know what you've just got yourself into."
Ignoring him, I looked at Kimi, who was curled up in a ball in a corner, shaking with silent tears running down her cheeks. "You okay, Kim?"
Nodding, she continued looking down at her knees. Walking over to her, I held out my hand. She took it and before I could get any further, Richard appeared in front of us. "You two aren't going anywhere until I say so."
Kneeing him in the groin, he fell to the ground in a heap. "I advise you get out of our way before I call the police and have you arrested on sexual assault charges and attempted kidnapping." Unable to resist looking back at him, I saw a pathetic excuse for a human being in a heap on the floor, whimpering and groaning. Shaking my head, I put my arm around Kimi's shoulder and led her out the door.
Holding her tightly as we stepped outside, I noticed her taking three or four deep gulps of air and lay her head on my shoulder. All I could do was hold her tightly and say over and over again, "It's okay, Kimi, it's okay."
"Do you know how stupid I feel right at the moment, Lil? He seemed so nice and so polite; he told me that we were going upstairs just to talk. I believed him. I really did. And now I feel so unclean, like I need to go stand under a scalding hot shower for five or six hours just to get his stench off of me." Moving away from me, she looked at me full in the face, "Why did you do it?
"Run into the room to save me? Why did you do it? How did you know that I was going upstairs with him?"
Flustered, I looked at her and said quietly, "Something just didn't feel right when I saw you two walking upstairs together. I ran into the room to save you because you've been my best friend since we were in diapers. Why wouldn't I save you?"
Stepping closer to me, she gazed up at me. "Are you sure there isn't another reason?"
Feeling my heart practically stop, I look at her full in the face. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, could you have another motive?"
"Don't play dumb, Lillian. We've known each other way too long to play games with each other." Stepping closer to me, she reaches up and runs her hand down the side of my face. "Like the fact that your in love with me and have been too afraid to tell me?"
Dumbfounded, I look at her. "How did you know?"
"Honey, we've known each other for 19 years now. We know everything about each other. I know that you're in love with me. Its clearly written all over your face every time you look at me."
Taking a deep breath, I ask quietly, "Are you with me?"
Dropping her hand, she looks away for a moment. "I would like to tell you that I am, but the thing is, I don't know. I know that I love you as my friend, but right at the moment, my feelings are so mixed up that I don't know which end is up. I never thought as myself as gay or bisexual. I always thought I just liked guys."
Nodding, I wrap my arms around myself and stare off into the distance. Wishing that I would've never fell for my best friend, I find myself wishing that I could just leave and never look back.
"Lil, look at me. Please." Turning slowly to look at her, I see the tears forming in her eyes as she looks at me. "Lil, this doesn't change anything between you and I. You're still my best friend, nothing more, nothing less."
Nodding silently, I stare into the distance again, wishing that this had never happened. Looking at Kimi, I say quietly, "I've got to get back to the dorm, got to get some sleep for midterms Monday."
"Lil, wait." Reaching out to grab my arm, she pulls me back towards her. "I told you, this changes nothing between you and I. I still love you and want you in my life. I just don't know if I love you in the same way you love me."
Nodding again, I gently take my arm away from hers. "I know that, but I'm getting tired and I need to get going home. I'll call you tomorrow or the next day."
Sighing in frustration, she looked at me and shook her head. "You better call me tomorrow or I'll come hunt you down."
Nodding, I turned and pulled my coat tighter around me, walking towards home. Feeling the tears run down my face, I didn't bother to wipe them away, for I knew deep down in my gut that I just lost my best friend by doing the unthinkable: falling in love with her.