My Apologies

I'm sorry that this isn't an update. I really wanted to update one last time before I went back into mental rehab for summer, but I just couldn't. I know that this sounds like a lame excuse for not writing, but I think it's about time some of you found out why I have yet to finish any of the stories I've put up in the past.

For as long as I can remember, I've been on medications for being Bipolar. When I'm on my medications, I'm hyper, I'm energetic, and just plain perky. But when I'm not, I'm depressed to the point of being extremely suicidal. I've been placed in the hospital so many times for attempting my own death that most of the doctors and nurses at my local hospital personally know me. I have had more counselors and psychologists than there are states in the United States. And each and every summer, I'm taken to a mental hospital, way up in the Rocky Mountains.

And if any of you had waited for my earlier works to update last year, then you probably noticed that I suddenly just sort of stopped writing. That time, the death of a very close childhood friend of mine caused me to completely shut down for a bit. I couldn't bring myself to even read anything, let alone write.

Please understand that it's really hard for me to just move on. My mind doesn't function correctly, it simply doesn't just let go of the past, it--no, I can't completely bring myself to cherish the past as only memories. Every time I resolve to move on, I remember something and I just start crying and getting depressed to the point where my medications don't work. And it's scary to know that my medicine might not work sometimes, because my life depends on it. So that's why I can't move on at a quick pace, I can't just tell myself to leave things be and continue on with my life, not when my brain won't follow. It has taken me nearly a year to get over Cynthia's death, and I'm still not completely over it, but now with the death of another one of my best childhood friends just this month...I can't bring myself to write about happiness, friendship, and love.

I really do hope that you guys will give me time to recover, and understand that I can't write on demand. You've all been wonderful, and I know that I probably don't deserve such great reviewers, but still, thank you all. Without your encouragements, I don't think I could have gotten past the first chapter. But I promise you that I'll finish A Dragon's Love, even if it takes me years.

And please, if you know someone whose been through a tramatic phase, please don't tell them just to get over it. Those words sting much more, and do so much more damage than if you were to say nothing at all. Just being there will be enough; give him or her time. And this is what I ask for: time.

Once again, thank you all for being who you are and giving a few minutes of your life to me by reading this.

I hope you all remain healthy and well. And I hope I can manage enough to update before school starts again.

Best of luck,