Chapter Nineteen

"All of them?" Robin asked dumbfounded. He was more in shock by the sheer number of people Patrick had claimed to have killed in the combat versus the morality. The boy wonder shook his head in awe and sighed.

"I had no choice," Patrick said in defense, "It was them, or us."

The other team members had gathered around him, drawn by the story Patrick was spinning. It seemed that Raven, though isolated from the group had taken the most interest in it. The events that had occurred while she slept were grim indeed.

Robin couldn't really think of an argument. As morbidly horrible of an act as it was, Patrick was justified. He had been wounded, as had Raven. There was really no other alternative for him.

"Look," Patrick said, "I'm not proud of it. But there was no other way."

The team nodded, almost all simultaneously. It seemed they had understood this situation much more than the incident in the cave so many months ago. Hearing that he was not proud of it seemed to be all they needed.

"Did you find anything else while you were there," Robin asked sternly, "Any clues that might help us know who they are?"

"No," Patrick said, "I was in and out too fast to catch anything of importance. They were very well funded. No small time operation." He paused. "I saw several more mechs as I got to where they were keeping Raven. They looked about the same as the one we fought."

"That's definitely bad," Robin said, "We could barely contend with the one they sent last time. And it ended with us a team member shorter."

Patrick saw Raven shudder even from where he was. Though the rest of the team had their back to her. He gave her a quizzical gaze, but made no verbal reaction. Again, it seemed the team did not notice his actions.

"Yes," Starfire agreed, "And it nearly destroyed the city."

The deliberations went on for another hour or so before the team realized they could not milk any more useful information out of Patrick. He had told them everything short of how he had felt when killing the guards. They seemed actually disappointed, even Beast Boy, despite his apparent lack of interest in the discussion. He seemed to like to leave the thinking for the other team members.

But it seemed that most of the team, except for Robin, who had gone to his room directly following the end of the conversation, was uninspired to work. Best Boy and Cyborg spent the entire day playing some pointless, low quality racing game. Patrick joined in from time to time, playing the winner. He did fairly well, even on occasion beat Beast Boy, but Cyborg was an adversary beyond his ability, at least at the game he was playing. Starfire, surprisingly quiet the whole day through, spent most of the day finding excuses to go back to where Robin was hiding out.

"So painfully obvious," Patrick found himself thinking as he watched her float out of the room and down the hallway for what had to be the tenth time in the hour. He smiled at it though, and then found himself slapped with the controller once more by a fuming Beast Boy who had been beaten again.

Raven, like always, was meditating in the corner of the living room, keeping entirely to herself. All in all, despite the drama that had unfolded earlier, it was an average day in the tower. It seemed that the police in the city were actually doing their jobs and crime was almost non existent, at least none that required the aid of six super powered teenagers.

Darkness came quickly that night. Despite the endless boredom, Patrick found that time had flown by. Soon, the majority of the team has turned in for sleep. Cyborg and Beast Boy were still finishing their grueling marathon of gaming. Patrick had been ruled as the observer, having already been eliminated. He didn't mind, it was something to do other than stare out the window absentmindedly. Of course, Cyborg won, but it was a close fight.

"And the winner," Patrick said loudly, as the final race ended. He pointed to Cyborg in an exaggerated manner that a wrestling announcer would.

"Aww yeah," Cyborg proclaimed, "Who da man!"

"Lucky win," Beast Boy said in a defeated tone right before he let out an enormous yawn. To the point where he actually transformed into a cat to do it.

"Time to hit the sack," Cyborg said as he stood from the couch, he metal joints and human limbs popping from the lack of use all day. He sighed and walked over to the wall and activated the Tower's security and walked down the hallway with loud, heavy footsteps.

"Yeah, me too," Beast Boy said as soon as Cyborg was out of site. He hopped up, more limber and agile, and practically pranced to his room.

And then all was silent. The whole of the tower was asleep, or getting there very quickly. Patrick took his usual place on the chair looking out the window. There wasn't much to see other than the bright full moon which shown through the clouds with a shadowy halo of cloud about it. Patrick ignored this, not too impressed by nature's beauty at the moment. He sighed and relaxed into his own mind, shutting out all other things at the moment. A state that he had before interrupted by Robin so much earlier in that day. In this, he saw so many memories. Vivid times, some that never happened, merely his own mind making up a past. There he was with Samantha, his younger sister. She spoke to him as if she were already dead, but was very much alive.

"Sam," he spoke within his mind to his beautiful sister, "I am sorry. You didn't deserve it."

She smiled at him, but remained wordless. The vision of her began to fade. So rapidly, she was gone. Patrick found himself in the living room of the tower once more, staring out the window. His eyes were dry from spending so long without blinking. Something had driven him out of his world of self focus. He shifted in his chair and looked behind him. There was someone in the kitchen. He recognized her instantly.

"No sleep for the restless?" Patrick called out with a smile.

"You're one to talk," came the somewhat raspy voice of Raven.

"I've done enough sleeping." Raven smiled. It was about all Patrick could see. Her teeth reflected the moonlight. "More tea, huh?"

With a nod, Raven turned on the stove, putting her usual kettle on the red hot fire. She then turned to him, walking down the three steps to the level Patrick was on, her entire form becoming illuminated as she walked. A white light, making her appear all the more pale. "Thank you," she said suddenly.

"For what?" Patrick asked bewildered.

Raven sighed, apparently not wanting to elaborate. "For coming to get me."

Patrick smiled weakly at her. "It was nothing."

"No," Raven argued, "It was more than something. You risked your life for me alone."

"The team isn't much for stealth."

"You killed to keep me safe."

Patrick fought back the shiver he felt run through his spine when she said those words. His mind was instantly back on his sense of accomplishment for killing all those men. How good it felt to end them all.

"What is it?" Raven asked noticing his curious behavior.

"Nothing," Patrick responded calmly.

Raven looked at him, unconvinced. She turned to her teapot just in time to see it boil. Her tea was in a bag and seeping its dark contents into the steaming hot water in moments. She walked quietly over to the couch and began drinking, apparently ignoring the scalding hot water.

Patrick could see how hot the water was from where he was sitting. It seemed to emanate warmth that Patrick could see even from where he was sitting. "Don't burn yourself," he said with a smile.

"Oh… it's an acquired taste."

"What? Burning yourself?" Patrick responded with a smart assed tone.

Raven gave him a sour look and took another sip. It was indeed hot enough to burn her mouth, but it wasn't a horrible pain and it was instantly numbed away by the flavor of the tea.

"So," Raven said, putting down her mug, "who were they?"

"Who were who?"

"The ones who captured me. You were withholding something today when you were talking to Robin. What is it?"

Patrick tensed once more. "How did she know?" he thought as he remembered how she had been eying him curiously while the team was interrogating him.

"So…?"

"I don't know who they were," Patrick replied truthfully. He had been holding back some knowledge earlier, but it had nothing to do with the identity of the group that had taken Raven.

"Then what was it?" Raven repeated, "There was something you weren't telling us."

"It's nothing."

Raven eyed him curiously, but dropped the subject. She wasn't one to pry. He merely sat and continued to drink her tea silently.

"It's kind of weird," Patrick suddenly said, "knowing what life is worth."

"Just one life for so many deaths," Raven said, apparently thinking the same thing, "was it worth it?"

Patrick looked at her like she was insane. "The life of you?" he said with a smile, "definitely."

Raven smiled a slight hint of red, visible on her inhumanely pale skin. Patrick saw this, but made no verbal comment towards it.

"Have we become so painfully obvious?" he thought, being reminded of Starfire and Robin. He buried this thought deep inside his mind as nothing more than his ego sparking. "Who said we are a 'we'?" he thought with a mental laugh.

"What is it that gives my life so much more value?" Raven asked, her voice seeming to crack a bit. "What gives me the right to live when they all died?"

"Because I decided so," Patrick said sternly, "I wouldn't have just done nothing while you suffered."

"But is that justification?"

"It's enough for me! I would have gladly slaughtered them all to get you to safety!" Patrick didn't know why, but he felt very uncomfortable after finishing that sentence. He looked at Raven with a most serious of expressions.

Raven looked surprise. She had not expected such an eruption of emotion from Patrick. She stood and walked over to him, slowly, her steps very methodic and precise. "Your emotions," she began, "are very powerful. They lead you do things that transcend you abilities, even as a superhuman. But these actions are violent, dark, murderous. They are morally wrong."

"My emotions… saved our lives."

"But they have taken more away. Remember back in the cave? What happened there?"

"I…"

"You lost control. You had kept control of all your emotions for so long, but never channeled them into something. They lied there dormant, in such great amounts. All they needed was a spark…"

"Samantha," Patrick whispered closing his eyes, willing away the sudden tears he felt with the mention of her name.

"They escaped you, too powerful to be held in any longer."

There was a long pause. Patrick felt a sudden twinge in his right arm.

"You killed fifty-three men. Unarmed men. To prove what? That you don't like being fucked with?"

"I get it," Patrick said suddenly standing, moving over to the window. "They just took so much pleasure in her death. They deserved to die!"

"You didn't seem to think that after you did it," Raven said walking up behind him and grabbing his arm, rolling up the sleeve. The scars were still there. "You promised yourself you'd never do it again."

"I know," Patrick said defeated, turning around slowly to face her, his eyes the only real part of his expression showing emotion; a confusing torrent of rage and self pity.

"I can help you," Raven said calmly, her eyes breaking contact with his, looking out the window behind him.

Patrick, put a hand beneath Raven's chin and moved it for her to make eye contact once more. They were no longer so upset. He was smiling at her. "You already have," he said with a smile. He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips. It broke swiftly and Patrick looked at the surprised and somewhat stunned Raven.

"Well, she didn't scream 'rape!'," he thought as he walked off silently, headed outside, and from there, wherever. He had time to burn.