() Translations of Herbie's horn unless otherwise noted, or just to announce his presence, which will be the standard BEEP BEEP.
NOTE: When Ranma is Ranko for his mom, and Genma is Mr. Panda, I will call them such.
NOTE 2: In this fic, Nodoka has a driver's license (Won't write about it because its not that important a story), as well as the NWC (Got theirs' sometime after the end of the anime/manga, again, won't go into the details… ok, so I have writer's block about that, so sue me), save for Ryoga because he's a wanderer.
NOTE 3: In this AU, the NWC know about Ranma's seppuku contract (Except the Kunos for obvious reasons), which has yet to be absolved, so when Ranma is Ranko, they're careful around Nodoka not to slip. Also, I took the driving scene from Herbie Rides Again, one of Disney's best movies.
"Ranko, Mr. Panda? Mrs. Saotome is here." Kasumi yelled knowing what Ranma was in for should Nodoka find out about his curse. At first, Ranma was wondering why Kasumi called him Ranko, but then it hit him…
…just as Genma threw him into the pond as he jumped in too. Just in time, because Nodoka just walked in with a big smile on her face.
"Oh, Ranko, and Mr. Panda. I'm glad you two are here." Nodoka said.
"Oh, Auntie Saotome!" Ranko said. "I missed you auntie!"
'How do you do Mrs. Saotome?' Mr. Panda's sign read.
"Just fine." She replied. "I have something to show you all. Would you please get Soun and the others?"
"No problem Auntie." Ranko replied.
A short time later, Soun, Akane, Ranko, Mr. Panda, Nabiki, and Kasumi were staring at what Nodoka wanted to show them.
"It's a car." Ranko stated.
"That's not just any car." Nabiki said. "It's an old style VW Beetle." The gang then looked the car over. It was a white 60's beetle, with red, blue, and white stripes, a grey roof, and the number 53 on the hood, front trunk, and side doors.
"Yep. A friend of mine in America wants me to take care of it while his friend is on a honeymoon and he's in Europe for an art show." Nodoka said. "He's a bit eccentric though."
"How so?" Soun asked.
"Well, he takes parts from junked cars and turns them into statues…" Nodoka said.
"So?" Ranko asked. "Doesn't sound that weird to me."
"…or uses the auto theme for modern art, like using this car and having the words 'Car Sick' in lights on it." Nodoka said, causing everyone to face fault. "Anyway, he said something very peculiar. He said the reason he wanted me to take care of the car for awhile is because 'Herbie wanted to see Japan.'"
"Who's Herbie?" Akane asked.
"He told me this little car is named Herbie." Nodoka said.
"How did you meet this guy?" Ranko asked.
"Well, I was a transfer student and he and I became good friends in High School." Nodoka replied. "We try to e-mail each other from time to time. Anyway, I don't know how long, but I told him I would, and I thought I'd show you guys."
'That's a nice looking car.' Mr. Panda's sign read.
"No offence to your friend Auntie, but I don't see what the big deal is." Ranko said. "It looks like a normal car to me." Just then, a part of the Tendo's outside wall…
…shattered as a certain lost boy showed up.
"WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?!" Ryoga yelled.
"Oh, that must be Ryoga." Nodoka replied.
"You guys go ahead; I'll catch up in a minute." Ranko said. "I want to look at this car a little more."
"Ok, we'll see you in side." Kasumi said as the others left to greet Ryoga. Ranma just stood there shaking her head once they were out of eyesight.
"Great, just great, Pig-Boy showed up." Ranma said angrily. "Of all the rotten…" Ranma than sat on top of Herbie's trunk and was still angry. "Humph! Saying I ain't the honorable one… I ain't th' one usin' my form to seduce sleep with Akane."
(Cursed form?) Herbie beeped, causing Ranma to jump.
"Did you… but… Nah." Ranma said thinking she heard things. "Well, since you're a car and nobody's around, it's not like you're gonna tell anybody. Ya see, Ryoga vested these cursed springs called Jusinkyo and turns into a pig when splashed with cold water. Akane spotted his cursed form, named him P-Chan. Ryoga takes advantage of this to get close to Akane. He's seen her naked, slept in her bed… if he didn't make me swear on my honor to keep it a secret, I'd…"
"Ranko, we're going to show Ryoga the bug." Nabiki announced.
"Oh, goodie! I hope he likes it!" Ranko said putting on an act. If Herbie could sweat drop right now, he would. Ryoga proceeded to look the car over and didn't look that impressed as he stood in front of Herbie's trunk.
"No offense Mrs. Saotome, but I don't see anything that makes this car speci…"
Ryoga didn't get to finish due to Herbie giving his jaw a trunk full.
(Pig-boy) Herbie beeped. Ranko did a double take.
'It did beep that first time.' She thought. 'Must be a malfunction or somethin'.'
"WHY YOU…" Ryoga said as he regained his bearings and was ready to use the breaking point when Nodoka, tightened her grip on the sword.
"Young man, you weren't going to destroy my friend's car, were you?" She said in an icy tone. Ryoga then got really nervous.
"Uh… no ma'am, not me, no." Ryoga said. Again, if Herbie could sweat drop, he would.
"Um… Auntie? I was wondering if Ranko and I can borrow the car." Akane said. "We have to go to Osaka for a school project."
"That's no problem." Nodoka replied. "Could one of you give me a ride then?"
The next day, Ranma and Akane were ready to head to Osaka for their project. Or would been on time…
"I did better than you on the exam you macho jerk!"
"Well I did the driving better you uncute tom-boy!"
…if ether one didn't keep insisting on driving. Finally, Nabiki suggested Akane drove on the way to and Ranma on the way from. Agreeing, they finally got in Herbie, and Akane started the car and they drove off.
"Ok Herbie lets see what you can do." Akane said while smiling.
"Don't tell me you believe what my mom heard from that guy." Ranma said.
"Oh come on Ranma, I'm just having some fun." Akane said when she stuck her tong out at him.
"Eyes on the road tom-boy." Ranma said, as Akane quickly moved her head back to watch the road. "Besides, let's not take that story seriously, this is just a plain little car. Ok, maybe this is a little on the unattractive side…"
Taking offence, Herbie put it into high gear and did a wheelie and drove at full speed.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO RANMA?!" Akane said both scared and angry.
"ME?! YOU'RE THE ONE BEHIND THE WHEEL!" Ranma said in his defense. "STOP YOU STUPID…" But he didn't get to finish for he saw two cars crossing traffic, which Herbie dodged….
…and the other drivers let them knew what they thought.
"MAYBE IF YOU TOLD HERBIE YOU'RE STORRY!" Akane said.
"ALRIGHT! HERBIE, I'M SORRY!"
Accepting Ranma's apology, Herbie stopped, leaving a very shocked pair of Furikan High students.
"Well… if I didn't believe what that guy told your mom, I do now." Akane said.
"Very funny Akane." Ranma said. "Nice joke, ha, ha, ha."
"What, you think I did all of that?!" Akane asked. "How can this car do all of that?!"
"You're in Nerma and you had to ask?" Ranma said. "Besides, I'm sure Nabiki helped you." This made Akane angry.
"Tell you what you pervert, you can drive!" Akane said as she opened the door.
"Fine!" Ranma replied as he opened his door. Both got out and exchanged sides, shut the doors, and Ranma started the car as they drove off. "See, I told you. This is just a stupid little…"
…second verse, same as the first as Herbie did another wheelie at full speed.
"Gah! Ok, this is not a joke! This is not a joke!" Ranma said.
"I told you Ranma. Now you're on your own." Akane said.