Mass Maggot Murder
By: Kuroi Neko-kun
Summary: "That maggot was somebody's daughter. She left behind eight hundred and fifty-six grieving sisters."
Disclaimer: I do not own them. They belong to CBS. –Plots takeover of CBS-
Warning: Um… arr… Maggot Murder?
A/N: This came from reading the recap for 'What's Eating Gilbert Grissom?' at Television without Pity. That line just caught my eye and tickled my funny bone. I challenged my friend, Gyuumajo, to write a fic with that line, be it CSI or CSI: Miami. If anybody else would like to, mail me and write it.
… Gil is committing wholesale maggot murder, and that can only conjure up a little maggot Horatio Caine, intoning, "That maggot was somebody's daughter. She left behind 856 grieving sisters."
-original quote from TWoP (What's Eating Gilbert Grissom?)
"That maggot was somebody's daughter. She left behind eight hundred and fifty-six grieving sisters." The Cuban looked up to see a bemused Speedle before he let out a heavy sigh.
"Are you trying to pull a Horatio and right the maggots?" he muttered, turning back to drawing DNA samples from the mounting maggots he had to draw samples from. The thing was he was working this maggot case with the man who just spoke, so why is he the one dealing with icky maggots? Seniority is the lame and ultimately overused answer.
"I'm up to four hundred maggots," he announced," Do you want to take over the next half?" Speedle looked at the box with the still crawling maggots and shook his head.
"No, you deal with the mass maggot murder."
"Ha, ha…" Eric drawled before turning back to the maggots. Before Speedle could inject another maggot themed joke, their boss entered the layout room, apparently looking for Speed but when he spotted what the Cuban was doing, he couldn't help himself.
"Eric, those maggots have family," he said. The youngest CSI groaned as Speed let out a chuckle of humor.
"One more maggot joke and I'll put them into your clothes, Speedle," Eric threatened, glaring at the said CSI. Speed didn't take it as anything as he grinned. Knowing the man's intentions, Horatio intervened.
"Speed," H warned," Leave the man and his maggots alone." Not able to contain himself, Speed burst out laughing, scaring both the supervisor and the youngest CSI.
"I heard you had to deal with icky maggots today," the southerner said as Eric stepped into the locker room. He sighed as he took out a towel and other things that he needed for a shower.
"If I ever hear Speedle utter another joke about me and those maggots, I swear…" he began muttering incoherently. Calleigh smiled at him.
"Well, you can't blame the guy. He's only acting macho because he's afraid of them."
"Tim's afraid of maggots," Calleigh repeated.
"He is?" The blonde nodded before noticing the evil smirk on the Cuban's face.
"Ah… Don't tell me your plan. I don't want to be an accessory to your crime," she said before leaving the youngest CSI to his thoughts.
Speed thought that maybe a quick shower was needed before he continued with work. As he yanked open his locker, he was caught with shock, backing up until his back hit the lockers behind him. Sitting in his locker was a big clear plastic box filled with maggots.
"…the hell…" he muttered before glaring at it. "Delko," was the deduction. He slammed his locker door shut and came out of room, bent on killing Delko when he heard the distinct shout of 'Eric!' from his supervisor's office. He found Horatio running down the halls with the same intent to murder the young CSI. Speed stopped him.
"Maggots in your office?" he asked.
"No, just my coffee," he said. Speed was left to contemplate on whether H drank the cuppa or not. "Let's go look for him." Speed nodded in agreement but before they could search, Eric walked to them.
"Hello, guys. Problems?"
"Yeah, maggots in my locker," Speed said.
"And you deserve it," he shot back.
"I deserve the maggots in my coffee too?" H asked, glaring at his subordinate. Eric gave him a confused expression.
"H, I never did that…" The three of them looked at each other before coming to one deduction.
"Calleigh," they chorused.