This is my take on a Calvin and Hobbes movie. It's farfetched, so it's pretty much what you'd see in any Calvin and Hobbes story. Enjoy.

Chapter 1: The Calvins; They Are A-Changin'… Well, sort of.

It was a beautiful summer morning. All was quiet. Suddenly, a wagon rattled through the peaceful landscape. At the steering handle was a blonde-headed 6-year old named Calvin. Behind him was his best friend in the whole world, a tiger named Hobbes. They had their differences (Hobbes always said that animals were better than humans, and Calvin usually agreed), but they stuck together. Be it a trip traveling through time, making copies of themselves or even transmogrifying into some sort of creature, they always kept together.

Today was a special day. Calvin had just finished 1st Grade at long last. Hobbes didn't go to school for obvious reasons, but he declared that tigers wrecked the grade curve. Calvin was excited to be going to 2nd Grade at long last. His teacher, Miss Wormwood, was the first reason. Calvin had seen their assignments a little too advanced for 1st Grade. Susie Derkins was the other. She wasn't going to be in his class this year. Tommy Chestnut, who was actually the smartest 1st Grader Calvin had ever known, was going to be in his class. Calvin hoped he would give an actual answer when Calvin asked him for answers.

Calvin steered roughly along the dirt path. Hobbes has never really like these little trips. Calvin always gets philosophical during these rides, and then they get a visual aide to go with it. It was usually them falling into some deep ravine or chasm that either had a briar patch or a river. Today, Hobbes was determined to make sure that didn't happen by making sure Calvin didn't look behind him for any reason.

"This is perfect, Hobbes!" cried Calvin. "2nd Grade! Wow! I never thought that I'd make it."

"Neither did anyone else," chuckled Hobbes.

Calvin ignored him. "It'll be so sweet! No Miss Wormwood, no Susie, no huge piles of homework and lunch is earlier than usual!"

"You're three fourths correct," said Hobbes.

"Huh? Whaddya mean??"

"There won't be any Miss Wormwood or Susie. Lunch will be earlier. However, the higher into school you get, the bigger the workload."

"Oh, puh-leeze," scoffed Calvin. "It'll be a snap! I'll admit, it will take awhile get into, but after October, I'll have that teacher right where I want her. She'll be putty in my hands."

"Yeah," replied Hobbes. "Really dry putty that's as hard as a rock!"

"Let's change the subject," said Calvin, hoping to avoid the argument getting any worse. "I can see Susie over there. You got the water balloons?"

Hobbes grinned. "Would I let the G.R.O.S.S. club down?" He presented a paper bag. He pulled out two big water balloons.

"Perfect!" said Calvin. "Get ready to throw." Calvin took a water balloon and steered the wagon towards Susie. "On my mark! Three… Two… One… FIRE!"

Calvin and Hobbes threw with all their might. The water balloons came in right on the marks. Susie let out a scream!

"Ha, ha!" cried Calvin. "Direct hit! I say some medals are over when we get back to G.R.O.S.S. Headquarters."

"Oh, boy!" said Hobbes. He turned around to watch Susie. "Try and speed up. She's got her wind back and she's gaining."

"We'll lose her in the woods," said Calvin. "Hold on!"

Calvin turned the handle and the wagon rolled into the forest. Just then, they heard a Susie scream.

"What happened to her?" asked Calvin.

"Why do you care?" asked Hobbes suspiciously.

"Because if she got killed, then G.R.O.S.S. will be temporarily be out of business. She's the only enemy we can find right now."

"Good point," admitted Hobbes. He turned around again. "I don't see her. I guess that's good. She can't kill us now."

"Good," Calvin sighed.

The wagon rolled helplessly along. This meant that they would have to wait until they reached the bottom of the hill.

Calvin spoke up after awhile. "Mom wants me to sweep the back porch this afternoon. Can you believe it? I just left school, and she turns me into her personal slave."

"Yeah, I know," Hobbes muttered, annoyed at Calvin's common laziness. "Calvin, your mom does a lot for you."

"Oh, yeah?" Calvin sniffed. "Like what?"

"She feeds you, shelters you, keeps you safe…"

"Okay, okay! Man, I hate having things put into perspective."

"I know. That's why I do it."

"You enjoy it, don't you?"


"Still, I don't see why I have to help around the house! I've already done my part to make this world a better place!"

"Really?" Hobbes was surprised. "What's that?"

"I was born!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes rolled his eyes skyward. "Oh, yes. I forgot to thank you."

"Join the club."

Hobbes' eyes were still upwards. His eyes were wide and his mouth agape. He tapped Calvin on the shoulder. "Um, Calvin?"


"Look up."

"I can't. I'm steering the wagon."

Hobbes' head went down and he frowned. "Now, of all times, you want to pay attention to the path?? What is wrong with you??"

Calvin was surprised. "You told me this morning to keep looking ahead! What do you want??"

"It'll just take half a second," Hobbes replied.


"Trust me. After that amount of time, you won't want to look back again."


"Seriously. I know I don't."

Calvin took a quick peek. Hobbes was right. He didn't want to look back. "What on earth was that?" he gasped.

"You steer!" yelled Hobbes, turning around in his spot. "I'll describe!"

Hobbes looked up. "Okay, it would appear to be a bronze colored, metallic claw reaching down for us. It's got a hole on one side and a block on the other. It has five teeth on the top and bottom each. It is extending from a car that looks like a very cool bumper car."

"Oh, I love those things," interrupted Calvin. "Please continue."

"The car is a very beautiful shade of light blue with a red stripe going across the front in between two headlights. It's very stylish, I must say. It's being driven by some crazy looking bald guy wearing a white lab coat. He has really goofy sideburns and has on some very interesting goggles."

Calvin was nervous. "What're we going to do?" he cried. "Why is he chasing us? How will we escape? Where does this path lead? When will our bedtime be?"

"Shut up and steer!" yelled Hobbes as he turned around again.

Calvin did just that. He wished this was just a fantasy like Spaceman Spiff or Tracer Bullet that he could just have someone wake him up from, but that wasn't very likely to happen. He would've woken up at the sight of the claw!

Calvin then spotted the drop in the hill up ahead. It was pretty steep. "Hang on, Hobbes!" he yelled. "We'll lose him on the hill."

Hobbes didn't need telling twice. He held on for dear life as the wagon dropped down at what felt like 100mph! "I THINK WE LEFT MY STOMACH AT THE TOP OF THE HILL!!" he yelled.


Hobbes looked back up the hill. He could see the claw-car getting smaller and smaller. "I THINK WE LOST HIM!!" he yelled.


Off in the distance, Calvin and Hobbes could see the old stone bridge. It spanned out over a deep river. They had crossed it several times. Now, the stones in the middle were falling out. Suddenly, the entire middle section of the bridge was gone!

Calvin and Hobbes screamed. "OH, NO!" wailed Calvin. "I'M LIVING THE AGONY OF DEFEAT!!"

"THAT'S BEEN HAPPENING A LOT IN YOUR LIFE, HASN'T IT?" Hobbes joked, hoping to lighten his mood a little.

Before Calvin could retort, he found himself having to grab a stick. He stuck it in the ground to slow them down a little. It was enough to stop them from toppling over the edge of the bridge.

"Phew!" sighed Hobbes. "That was a close one. Good thinking!"

"Thanks," sighed Calvin. Then he remembered. "Do you think that guy is still following us?"

"Nah," said Hobbes. "We lost him a ways away."

Just then, they turned around at the sound of a claw snapping. The guy was still following.

Calvin glared at Hobbes. Hobbes grinned sheepishly. "Of, course," he chuckled, "I could be wrong."

Unfortunately, the guy couldn't stop in time. The claw-car rammed the wagon so hard, it flew into the air.

Calvin and Hobbes screamed all the way, holding onto each other. Their landing was a lot different then they had anticipated. Instead of a long fall and a splash, it was a short sail through the air and a crash.

They opened their eyes and realized that they were on the other side of the bridge. They let out a sigh of relief.

Calvin got out of the wagon and stuck his tongue out at the guy on the other side, who was extremely furious. He shook his fist at them.

"You can try all you want, pal!" he yelled. "You'll never catch Calvin and Hobbes and our Wonder Wagon.

Before the guy could reply, his section of broken bridge creaked and groaned and he and the car fell straight down to the river below.

Calvin peered over the edge. "I almost feel sorry for him," he sighed.

"The keyword there, Calvin," said Hobbes "is almost."

Suddenly, their section of the bridge was crumbling. Hobbes got out of the wagon and tossed it aside. He then grabbed Calvin and they got off just in time. They watched the stones fall.

"Phew!" sighed Calvin. "Thanks, Hobbes."

Hobbes smiled. "No problem." He looked down the river and frowned. "I wonder what happened to that guy."

"I say we have a G.R.O.S.S. meeting when we get home to decide what to do."

"What's this got to do with getting rid of slimy girls?"

"Well, it happened right after we attacked Susie."

"Good point. Only we're faced with the problem of how to get home. We can't get across the river. What should we do?"

There was no answer.

"Calvin? Any ideas?"

Still no answer.

"Calvin? Hello! Anyone there?"

Still no answer.

"His lights are on, but nobody's home!" muttered Hobbes. "Come on, Calvin! Put that so called genius of yours to work."

Finally, there was an answer, but not the kind of answer Hobbes wanted.

"Keep calm, brave sidekick," Calvin muttered.

"'SIDEKICK'?" Hobbes cried. "I'm your sidekick? Is that what you think I am?"

Calvin simply said, "Yes. You are my sidekick. Even Stupendous Man needs a sidekick. Now, please be quiet while my stupendous brain thinks this situation over."

Hobbs rolled his eyes and slapped his forehead. "Come on, Calvin!" he cried. "This is no time for a bout around Mr. Calvin's Neighborhood! We need to get home!"

There was no answer.

"Oh, boy. Time for a fantasy sequence," he muttered.

Tell me what you think so far...