"She Only Smokes When She Drinks"

By: Calculated Artificiality (a.k.a. Natalie)

All right guys, this is my first X-file fanfic, so I truly hope that you enjoy it. It's fun writing these characters, but you must know that this fic takes a time travel back to, I'd say, around season six, maybe mid-sevenish. But probably six. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters herein, except Frank and Dr. Bolton, who is actually based upon my good friend, Jess. Dana Scully Fox Mulder are the "property" of a whole bunch of people that have much more money and power than I do—so, therefore, no infringement is intended.

I'd truly appreciate Reviews!!! Enjoy!



She couldn't believe that he'd done this to her again. How many times was she going to fall for this? She thought he cared about her, the thought that maybe he loved her had even crossed her mind. How stupid could she be? She would never be anything more to him than a friend. She was good for him when there was no long legged, drop-dead gorgeous woman in sight.

The thought just made her sick to her stomach. Thinking about the look in his eyes when he'd seen the beautiful doctor Bolton, made her want to vomit right there in her car. In fact, the thought made her insides turn with a vehemence she hadn't experienced since the last time he ditched her, or maybe the last time he'd taken the side of another gorgeous woman over her.

She was supposed to be his partner, but he had no hesitance to ditch her at any given time. Yeah, she didn't agree with him, but that didn't give him the license to run away at every chance he got. Damn, it didn't even give him the OPTION of running away at ANY chance he got. They were supposed to work together—and he seemed to forget that whether he was chasing aliens or skirts.

She knew it was her fault, though. It was her fault that he affected her so. There was a reason she was called 'the Ice Queen.' Yep, there was a damn good reason for that—but somewhere along the line she'd let some of that ice melt off, she let part of her heart and some of her soul show to one man and one man alone since college… and she knew now, she knew that she never should have let down the wall around her heart—she should have never let him in. But, that couldn't be undone now no matter how much she wished otherwise. She'd made a mistake, that was for damn sure; she'd trusted him—not just professionally, but personally as well. It seemed as though he'd failed her on both fronts.

This time wasn't out of the ordinary, but it was the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak. She'd tried to pretend as though this time it was just a figment of her imagination, but she knew otherwise the moment he joked about the looks of the woman in question with another male agent assigned to the case. And what's worse… it all happened in front of her face.

She was filled with so many emotions; she left and told him she'd see him back in DC whenever this wild goose chase was over.

He'd questioned her, tried to make her stay—of course, he needed her for autopsies and the like, but she'd refused, told him she was fine, and left on the next flight out of bo-dunk Texas.

Things were strained when he finally came to the office—he brought up the incident more than once, but today had just taken the cake. He wouldn't let it go, he kept pestering her—until she could take it no longer.

"Is this about Dr. Bolton, are you jealous?" He asked, with a slight smirk.

"Mulder. I am FINE. Do you understand that? Fine. I don't give a DAMN what you do in your spare time, but the minute you start letting it affect your work, I do give a damn." She sighed and looked down at the paper in front of her trying for all she was worth to focus on it.

"It didn't affect my work, Scully."

"Fine, whatever. Look, even so, you shouldn't be chasing skirts on our cases, okay?"

"Chasing skirts? I believe I was chasing a psychotic killer that believed he was the reincarnated Adolph Hitler. Dr. Bolton was merely helping me with that." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's not all she was helping you with." She mumbled under her breath.

"What was that, Scully?"


"Look, I don't see why this is bothering you… it's not a big deal."

She was growing more angry with every word she spoke: "Yeah, it's not a big deal to you, that's right. But to me, it was very…" she chose the word carefully; she didn't want to reveal anything at this point "embarrassing."

"Embarrassing, why?"

"Yes, embarrassing. You undermined me at every opportunity in order to "impress" her, you made sexist comments, and threw sexual innuendo around both to her face and behind her back, all the time with me standing there!!"

"Oh come ON, Scully! You've got to be joking!!" he said incredulously. But she didn't laugh.

"You ditched me again." She said as she cleared her throat.

"I didn't—I simply followed up on a lead that Dr. Bolton had suggested."

"Yeah. Without me. How would you feel if I acted in the same manner that you did??"

"I wouldn't care." He said. That hurt her, of course he wouldn't care, he didn't feel the same way for her. He continued: "Three would have been a crowd." He said, knowing this might hurt her, but not caring at this point.

She looked at him, an expression of semi-shock befalling her face. "My point, EXACTLY, Mulder!! I'M supposed to be your partner, but you don't even give a damn about that lately. Hell, I don't know if you EVER have!" she spat.

"Give me a BREAK!" he spat back "I know you're my partner…and I'm sorry if your constant nagging and "debunking" of my theories, I use the term loosely as you've yet to ACTUALLY prove me wrong, annoys the absolute HELL out of me sometimes."

She was taken aback—she annoyed him? "Really? I'm sorry I've been such an annoying inconvenience to your "quest", and I use that term loosely because you've yet to ACTUALLY make any advancement where that's concerned. I'm sorry that for six years I've been following you around, doing anything you asked of me—no matter what time it is, no matter how far it is—I'm sorry if that's been so annoying!!" She couldn't believe he thought this of her.

He shrugged, angered by her comments about his quest, his life's work, his sister. "Yeah, well you know, Scully, no one's EVER asked you to do that. Maybe you do because you've got nothing better in YOUR LIFE! Maybe you're lonely; maybe you can't hold a relationship because of that little image, that nickname, what is it again? Oh yeah, ICE QUEEN."

Her face fell, as her heart registered his words. She felt a pang in her chest as tears began to travel to her eyes. She exhaled. "Is that what you think of me?" she asked softly.

He knew he'd hurt her, but he didn't care. She knew that finding Samantha was his quest. So he shrugged and looked coldly at her, "If the shoe fits."

She felt another jolt in the pit of her stomach—so this was what he thought of her. After all these years of running after him, helping him—bleeding for him, nearly dying for him—all for him—and this is what he thought.

She tried to keep the hurt out of her eyes, a feat that proved nearly impossible, as she said. "Well, that's good to know after all these years."

He remained silent as she grabbed her coat and headed for the door. She put her hand on the knob and turned back around—she didn't care what he knew at this moment: "Your theory is that I can't hold a relationship because I'm frigid—but did you ever think that maybe the real reason is exactly the opposite? Maybe because I've already melted—and for someone who never cared in the first place." And with that, she exited the office and walked quickly towards the elevator.

When she was safely inside, she let the tears fall. Damn him for doing this to her. Damn her for letting it happen.

He stayed in the office, shocked at what had just happened. He couldn't believe he'd said those things to her, yet he couldn't believe what she'd said to him before she left. He thought she was upset on a professional level—never once did he think that it was because she had feelings for him. Never once did that thought even come close to crossing his mind. It seemed impossible, because that would mean that his fantasy had come true… and things like that just didn't happen to him.

He was utterly bewildered, but he knew that he had to make things right—after he gathered his thoughts—after he was ready to take this leap.

Scully, on the other hand, was mad as hell—but overcome with hurt. She never thought she'd hear Mulder use that awful name—let alone to her face. But he'd used it against her, used her reputation against her, when he should know, more than anyone, the truth of her being.

She got in her car and began to drive, swiping the tears away and eventually keeping them at bay for good. She finally saw the neon light she'd been searching for, illuminated even more so by the darkness behind it.

She parked her car, came in, and sat down at the bar.

An older man in his late 50's came up to her and said "Hey sweetheart."

She smiled half-heartedly at him and said "Hey, Frank."

"What'll it be? Your usual?"

She looked down and said "Nope, I'd like the good stuff."

"That bad, huh sweetie?"

"Yep. That bad."

"Ouch. I'll be right back."

Scully looked at her watch, it was 9:00. She watched Frank prepare her drink, as a man sat down beside her. He looked over at her and smiled. She smiled politely back.

Frank came back and set her drink and a pack of cigarettes in front of her. She extracted one from the pack and brought it to her lips. The man beside her quickly reached into her pocket and produced a lighter, he looked at her as he ignited the flame, she took the light, and inhaled the sweet sin, and exhaled the smoke, as she smiled at Frank who had witnessed the whole transgression.

The man next to her looked pleased as Scully got down from the bar to go to the jukebox and look at the upcoming selections.

The man at the bar looked at Frank and raised his eyebrows as if to say 'damn.'

Frank just smiled and shook his head—and decided to clue the eager young man in. "So you lit her cigarette, You're feeling pretty good—you think you got a shot? With most girls you probably would…"

The young man looked back at him, as he started to question him—isn't that what a place like this is for?

He anticipated his unspoken question and answered it: "Yeah, this is that kind of place, but she ain't that kind of girl…"

He started to protest, but Frank cut him off "You're reading it all wrong, let me tell you about her…" the man looked receptive, so Frank continued. "She only smokes when she drinks, she only drinks now and then, Now and then when she's tired of being let down by men. You can give her a light, but it's not what you think. Everybody knows, she only drinks alone, and she only smokes when she drinks."

The young man refused to accept this as truth, so he said "Thanks, but I'll take my chances." He got up from the bar and walked over to where Scully stood; Frank just watched and shook his head. He saw them converse for a moment before the man began walking back to the bar. He sat down and finished off his drink.

Frank felt sorry for him, though he usually didn't for his type, but this guy was trying. So he chuckled a bit, and said "Did you ask her to dance?"

He nodded "Let me guess… she told you no?"

"Obviously." He said, as Frank poured him another drink.

Frank laughed and joked: "Oughta take her someplace quiet and see how far that goes…"

The young man did not laugh at the joke, but glared at Frank. He thought this woman was beautiful, and here this old man was making fun of him.

"Aw, don't take it all that hard; when she smiles and turns you down, for a complicated girl, she ain't that hard to figure out. Like I said, She only smokes when she drinks, she only drinks now and then, Now and then when she's tired of being let down by men. You can give her a light, but it's not what you think. Everybody knows, she only drinks alone, and she only smokes when she drinks."

The young man looked back at Scully, as she began walking back to the bar. "Thanks." He said, with all sincerity, realizing that the old man was just trying to help him out.

"No problem" said Frank. The man finished off his drink, grabbed his coat, and looked at Scully as she approached.

"It was nice meeting you."

She smiled politely, "You too. Thanks for the light."

He nodded and left.

Frank chuckled, which in turn, made Scully smile slightly. "So what's going on this time, kiddo? I haven't seen you in awhile."

She sighed. "I know." She took a puff of her cigarette and exhaled, eyeing Frank.

"So, some new guy?" he said with a smile.

She laughed slightly—he knew it wasn't. "Nope, same one as always."

"Man this guy has a way of making you hurt."

At the word 'hurt' her head snapped up and she looked at Frank.

"Honey, don't be so surprised, it's written all over your face."

She looked embarrassed, and eyed the napkin sitting in front of her.

"No need to be embarrassed—it's just ol' Frank. He put a finger under her chin and brought her eyes to meet him. Tell me what happened."

She sighed, and decided she might as well get it over with, as she knew she'd tell Frank sooner or later.

"Whoa, this one sounds like a doosey."

"Yeah, it was."

"How did it feel when he said those things to you?"

"What are you, a shrink? How do you think it made me feel?"

She realized she'd snapped at him, and quickly apologized. "No apologies here, young lady. You try to play all complicated, but Frank's got your number, I know you hurt—no matter what you say. You can't fool me."

"Yeah, I figured that out sometime ago."

"Anyway, back to your problem. Being in love is complicated." She started to protest but he shushed her "ah, ah, ah, no protestations from you, missy, you try to argue with me every time you come in here, which isn't often enough, I might add, cause I miss ya, kid. Anyway, you try to argue with me every time you come in here that you don't love him, and you and I both know that's rubbish. So stop trying to pretend with me."

"Jeeze Frank, You're awfully bossy tonight."

"Well, sure I am, I've never seen you this hurt before, Dana."

She smiled wryly. "I've never been this hurt before."


To Be Continued.

Coming up: Mulder is looking for Scully, and doing some introspection… will he find her, and if he does, what will happen??

Tune in next time to find out!!!

Review if you'd like, but know that they are much appreciated! : )

This is my first X-File fanfic, so be gentle, please!

Thanks, y'all!


P.S. The whole "She only smokes when she drinks" and Frank's lines therein are taken from Joe Nichol's song entitled "She only Smokes When She Drinks." Which is also owned by more wealthy and powerful people than I, so again, no infringement intended.