Author's note:

Hey guys! This is going to be the first fic or story that I'm ever doing to please others so bear with me. I got this storyline from a dream that really inspired me. BTW, I welcome flames but comment and suggestions to make my fic better are preferred.


Letters- normal narrating stuff

"letters"- people talking; dialogue

'letters'- thoughts

- change of scene

- change of point of view

(letters)- comments from the author e.i. me 

Chapter 1: Kaoru's Feelings

Kaoru's POV

I love him. I can't live without him but staying with him is just tearing me apart. I wonder if I would be better off without him. No! No! No! What am I thinking?! This is just stress. Yes! That's what it is. Just stress.

Or is it really? I've been putting up with him for over 2 years. It's not stress anymore… it's fear. Fear of what would happen to me without him. Fear of being alone. Fear of destroying my life… or, in this case, destroying my life more.

I know how much I suffered. I know how much times my family and friends tell me that I should leave him, how I could find someone so much better than him, how he doesn't deserve me and so on. But… I just can't leave him. I'm not strong enough.

What's this? I'm crying again? Figures. You'd think I'd be used to it by now. Every night for the past 2 years, I end up crying my eyes out until sleep finally took over me. I don't know why, until now, do I still have tears to cry. Funny, didn't think it was humanly possible for someone to shed this much tears.

All these tears… he is the source. The source of all my suffering. But GOD DAMMIT, I LOVE THAT BASTARD! THAT SON OF A BITCH FUCKING BASTARD!

He knows about all of my pain, all my suffering, all my tears but he just doesn't care. Or that's what he tells me. He goes off every night to meet his beautiful, lovely, sexy, poor excuse of a girl, that fucking whore.

Don't get me wrong. That girl is very respectful and courteous to me, that is, if we are in public. HUMP! The nerve of that girl! Stealing my man just 'cause she's being paid as his personal sex toy! I mean not just physically but also emotionally.

She's not the only one, though. She's just the usual and most emotionally connected to him. He has a different whore every damn night. I caught him almost every night but does he care? Oh no… he never cares about me. He just care about being sexually satisfied.

You must be wondering why not me instead. Well, there's a simple explanation for that. I'm still a virgin. A virgin with values. I don't want to lose my virginity until I know that he is the one.

I don't know if he is the one 'cause he never shows his affections to me. Shit! He doesn't even bother talking to me. As long as I'm still in our so called home. In his fucking apartment. I've sank lower and lower until I've become nothing more than a house maid for him.

That's it! I can't fucking take it anymore. I'm leaving. I don't care if I die trying to live without him. I just want to move out of this god damn pain. I want to move on and start a new and better life with or without him.

I don't mean to sound selfish but I want him. I want him all to myself. But if he doesn't want me then to hell with it. I'm gonna force myself to move on, And when I do, he'll be sorry that he ever doubted me.

I'm gonna do it! I will move on, I'm gonna start a new life. A life where I'll never have to suffer this kind of pain ever again. A life without him. A life without my savior, my first and, so far, only love. A life without Kenshin.

Goodbye Kenshin. Goodbye old Kaoru. And hello new and improved Kaoru.

End of POV

Author's note:

How's that for my first try? I know it's short and I'll try to make the other chapters longer. So please help me out by clicking that pretty review button.