Moment Too Late
By Camilla Sandman
Disclaimer: Yeah, we all know I don't own these ppl, I would probably have done a lot differently, hehe. Anyways, they're Brannon Braga and Paramount Allmighty's.
Thanks to Spif for reading and sending encouraging comments all the way!
It was so useless. I'd always thought that when Kathryn Janeway died, it would be old in her bed or saving the ship from some horrible danger. Not like this. Never like this.
I never saw you in my arms at the end, as life slowly poured out from you, as the light slowly died in your eyes. But here you are, and I can do nothing but stare in horror as you look at me and realize the horrible truth. That it is over, that I will be left behind with nothing.
Absolutely nothing but grief and guilt.
And it was only yesterday we thought we finally had everything. As I sit here helplessly, your blood on my hands, I can feel the warmth of your smile just a few hours earlier, as you took me up on my offer to take some shore leave. It was going to be a celebration. It became my deepest nightmare, one I did not even admit to having. The useless death.
Stabbed to death walking down to a river. I did not even see who it was. I just turned to see you falling to the ground, eyes wide in shock, the grass below you red with your blood.
I think I screamed your name. I know that you tried to say mine.
Why did you come? You have said no a thousand times, knowing why I asked. You have a thousand reasons not to come. So why did you?
I fear the answer. For I know it. You came because you had decided. You would give it a chance. Finally, after so many years waiting, you were coming to me. The final irony. I might as well have been the stabber.
And it would have been so good, so fantastic too. We both knew it. We both flirted. We both saw the l-word in each others eyes. And yet it wasn't enough.
Your eyes are so dark now, I can see myself mirrored in them. There's a plea in them, for me, for me to know how you felt. How could I not? Even with a thousand reasons not too, I never gave up waiting. I would wait for you an eternity or two. And now I won't even have that. I have truly nothing now, just the haunting image of your eyes pleading.
I want to tell you I know. I want to say the words, to let you die knowing that I knew. But no words come out. I can only hold you as you struggle, as you try one last time… and die in my arms.
And I rock you back and forth, finally saying it, but too late. "I love you!"
Everyone has their moment before they die? Why didn't we? WHY DIDN'T WE!