Title: "I is for Inside Out"
Authors: Heather and Adina
Disclaimer: These characters and names do not belong to us, if they did, we'd be getting a whole lot o' money for this!
Thank you from Adina to: Alisa, for the inspiration in the first place (Freaky Friday), Aubrey for the encouragement, Sarah for reading this ten million times and always having something nice to say, and last but certainly not least, my co- writer, Heather, without whom this would be half of a story.
Thank you from Heather to: Thanks go to: 'Dina, my sis, partner in crime, and co author of this little fic we put together. Also, my big sis Anne, for helping with word usage.
Timeframe: immediately following "To Heiress Human" after the car wreck at the end.
"Ya see that? That's what happens when we do this," Maddie said pointing at the wreckage that used to be her BMW.
"You're the one that wanted me to lift the emergency brake," David replied defensively.
"How was I to know it was the emergency brake? You're the one that moved it."
"It's your car!"
Maddie groaned in frustration. "To hell with you, David!" She started to walk away.
David followed her. "You're not going anywhere. We need to discuss this." He grabbed her arm and spun her to face him. Their chests were just inches away from touching.
"What is there to discuss?"
"You, me, us, this relationship."
"This relationship? What relationship? We don't have a relationship."
"Well, what do you think this is?"
"A mistake?" he repeated. "This has all been a mistake to you?" David asked,
hurt evident in his voice.
"We've discussed this already. This isn't how I do things. This isn't right.
This keeps happening, but it just doesn't make any sense. Don't you
understand what I'm trying to say? I mean, if you could just see it the way I
see it..." she trailed off.
"If I could see it the way you see it?! How about you seeing it the way I see
it? This is good, this is good for you, and it's good for me. I just can't
understand why you don't want it."
"Because this is an affair! That's all it is, that's all it ever can be. You
and I were never meant to be. We're completely different. We're like black
and white, night and day. We just don't fit together, David."
"Take it from me, honey, we fit together perfectly."
"That's not what I meant, David, and you know it."
"I don't mean just that. I mean you complement me. What I'm lacking, you
have. What you're lacking, I have."
"And just what is it that I'm lacking?"
"Nothing from where I was standing," he said, giving her the once-over.
"And when were you standing?" she asked, trying to hide a smile.
He shook his head. "Maddie, all I'm trying to say is that I can't understand
why you don't want this."
"And I can't understand why you do!"
Simultaneously, they shouted, "If you could just see it the way I see it!!!"
"Good night, David," Maddie said angrily.
"Yeah," he muttered as they went their separate ways for the night.
We see Maddie sitting in bed, silk pajamas adorn her body, her back is
propped up against the headboard, and her knees are drawn up to her chest.
Immediately we see her lips start to move.
At the same time we see David. He's wearing a pair of sweatpants, one leg
drawn up to his knee, the other still around his ankle. He wears an old
T-shirt and written on this T-shirt is "Medicate Me." David walks to the
kitchen. We see his lips are moving as he reaches for a beer in the almost
empty refrigerator. He takes a long swig as he returns to his bedroom.
Setting the beer down on the night-stand he throws himself on his stomach, face
first into his pillow.
Then simultaneously we hear them each mutter, right before sleep overcomes
"If she could only realize the way I feel."
"If he could only realize the way I feel."
Maddie woke from oblivion as a loud buzzing invaded the room. She slowly
opened her eyes, confusion setting in. "That's funny" she thought to herself as she eyed the clock. "This doesn't look like my clock. Since when did I change the
setting? What happened to the music?" Maddie thought as she leaned over and
shut off the annoying buzz of the clock. She rolled back onto her back and
pulled the sheets up to her neck. "These sheets, ugh!" She made a funny
disgusted face as she threw them off the bed. "Since when did I stop doing
the laundry?" Maddie was now curious. Apparently she wasn't at home. She
would never put sheets like those on her bed. Those things were distasteful.
Maddie started to glance around the room, trying to figure out where she
was. There was hardly any furniture, other than a weight bench in the
corner. Then it dawned on her. She was at David's apartment. "What the
hell am I doing here?" Maddie said aloud as she emerged from the bed.
She immediately started looking around for David. He was gonna have some
explaining to do. When she didn't see him, she grabbed his robe. After
placing it over her shoulders she reached down to pull it together and tie it
securely in place. "What the....?" Her voice trailed off. What
she saw gave her the shock of her life. What she saw was David's body! She
was in David's body.
The soft sounds of Carole King floated through the air as David woke from
"Why the hell do I have this station on?" He thought to himself, while
reaching over and turning the clock off. He glanced at his surroundings and
smirked as he realized where he was. He absentmindedly reached to fix the shoulder strap of his nightgown-until he looked and realized what he was wearing.
"Why the hell am I wearing a silk nightie?" He looked a little closer.
"Why the hell do I have a woman's body?!" he said aloud. David ran to the mirror and gasped at the reflection that stared back at him. What he saw in the mirror was
Maddie! David fainted as we see Maddie's body crumble to the floor.
Maddie, as David, comes casually walking through the door of the Blue Moon
Detective Agency, an unusual David Addison entrance. "Morning everyone."
Maddie exclaimed as she started to walk in the direction of her office.
"I'll be in my office Ms. DiPesto." Maddie said, forgetting she was
"Excuse me Mr. Addison, but isn't your office in that direction?" Agnes
asked, with confusion written on her face and her finger pointing in the
direction of David's office.
"So it is. Thanks Ms. DiPesto." Maddie said and made the trek to the other
side of the outer office, opening the door and entering the office quietly.
Meanwhile we see David, as Maddie, stepping off the elevator. His hair looks
as if it hadn't been combed, and his makeup resembles a clown mask. The
clothes which David had chosen to wear didn't match. He wore a bright pink
top and an orange skirt. The skirt hung just around his knees and showing
out from under his skirt were a pair of knee highs instead of panty hose. As
David walked down the corridor and turned the familiar corner he almost fell
flat on his face.
"Damn high heels. I'm gonna take the person who invented 'em into the middle of the road and shot em." David said as he continued his journey, wobbling the whole way.
David, as Maddie, entered the outer office of Blue Moon. "Morning Ms. DiPesto."
David acknowledged in Agnes' direction while leaning onto the counter of
"Morning Ms. Hayes." Agnes looked up. Amusement immediately filled her eyes
and it took sheer will power to keep from blurting out into a full fledged
fit of laughter.
David looked down at himself. He was still having problems getting used to
his new body. So what if he didn't look as good as Maddie when she wore this
get up. He still thought he looked good. "Ah, Ms. DiPesto, Ms...." David
had to correct himself quick. "Mr. Addison in yet?"
"Yeah, about five minutes. He's acting strange though." Then again so are
you. Agnes thought to herself as she watched David walk towards his office.
After David entered the whole office staff erupted into a fit of laughter.
David, as Maddie, shut the door. Immediately Maddie, as David, turned in the
black leather chair to face David.
"Maddie, is that you?"
"Yeah, how'd we manage to do this to ourselves David? and what the hell did
you do to my body?" Maddie's temper was flaring now that she really got a
look at David's outfit.
"Your guess is as good as mine on the mind swapping, as far as the outfit
goes, it was the only thing comfortable in your closet. How the hell do you
wear that stuff?"
"Just used to it I guess. How are we gonna switch back David? I don't wanna
be you. You live in a cesspool. When was the last time you changed the
"The last time you did it for me." A grin adorned his face.
"I don't know how we're gonna switch back. I guess wait until it happens
and pray that it does. Believe me sister, I don't wanna be you either. My
back is killin me. You women have too much baggage, and these shoes. Who
the hell invented these things?"
"So you're saying I'm fat?!"
"Maddie, lets just concentrate on getting through the day and trying to
convince everyone we are each other."
"Ok, lets do that. What will you do?" Maddie asked, she was afraid he'd do
something David-ish to her office or worse yet with her body.
"I think I'll go get my hair done." David patted his head.
"Yeah, you go do that. It looks awful. Did you forget how to comb it?"
Maddie asked, a smile starting to form. It was hilarious how ridiculous he
"Ok, stop pickin' on ole Dave here. Where'd you pick out that suit? I don't
think I've wore that since, lets say, the 70's."
"OK, enough is enough. We've picked on each other enough for a day. Go get
my hair fixed and I'll call ya later. Don't do anything stupid," she warned him.
"Okie Dokie." David exited the office and made his way downstairs to hail a
Later on that evening. We see David as Maddie getting down in a single's bar.
He apparently had way too many drinks. The bar was about to close and he
had no ride home.
"Hey lady, you want me to call ya a cab?" The bartender asked wiping down
Just as the bartender asked the question David, as Maddie, passed out stone
cold on the hardwood floor.
Meanwhile Maddie lay in a freshly made bed in David's apartment. She had
been trying to call him all evening and he wasn't answering the phone. Once
again she picked up the receiver and dialed her home number, at the same time
praying he hadn't done something drastic while inside her body. Still no
answer. It was getting late, so she decided he'd just hear about it in the
morning. Turning off the lamp, Maddie, as David, lay her head down on the
fluffy white pillow and was overcome by sleep almost immediately.
The next morning, Maddie walked into the office, neatly pressed and bright eyed. "Good morning, Miss DiPesto."
Agnes looked at her funnily. "Good morning, Mr. Addison. Miss Hayes is...well, she's...I think she's in your office."
Maddie gave her a strange look and headed into David's office. "D-uh, Maddie?" she called and then shut the door behind her. David groaned. "David!" Maddie exclaimed as she saw David, obviously wearing a dress that had been slept in, hanging on the back of the door.
"Keep your voice down!" he said, holding his head in his hands.
"I warned you
not to do anything stupid." Maddie was fuming. "This is my
body, and I won't have you treating it like you do your own!" She stomped
away in a huff, slamming the door, with David still on it, behind her.
Maddie, as David, stormed out into the outer office.
"O'Neill, Jorgenson, you're fired!" She turned to Agnes. "If anyone calls, I'll be in my-Maddie's office." she said as she turned on her heel, walked into her office, and slammed the door behind her.
Everyone starred at
her, better yet, him with stunned confused looks adorning
their usually jovial faces. O'Neill and Jorgenson turned towards each other.
"Do you think he meant it?" they asked each other simultaneously.
Agnes walked over to David's office. David, as Maddie, had managed to shimmy down off the door, and was trying to clean himself up. "Miss Hayes?" Agnes asked.
"Yo." David replied.
"Yo?" Agnes repeated silently. "Miss Hayes, Mr. Addison just fired O'Neill and Jorgenson. He looked really mad. What's going on?"
"He what?!" David exclaimed. "Let me handle
this, Agnes." David, as Maddie,
stumbled into the outer office, and cleared his throat.
"Seeing as I'm the boss around here, you two aren't fired. In fact, I think
everyone deserves a raise."
Turning towards O'Neill and Jorgenson, propping an arm on both of their
shoulders. I don't know why Mr. Addison fired you, but there is no need to
pack your things."
David, as Maddie, continued across the outer office and into Maddie's office,
slamming the door behind him. Maddie, as David, was seated behind her desk
looking over a case file.
"Why did you fire them?" he asked angrily.
Maddie glanced up from the file.
"Why did you go out on a drinking binge in my body? I don't recall you running a liquid evening by me when you said you were getting your hair done, which you obviously forgot to do. Where did you learn to dress like that? Couldn't you at least go home and change into some matching clothes? You're giving me a bad reputation." Maddie, as David, used her hand to gesture to the outfit David still wore from the previous morning. Holding his head from the ringing that had developed during her tirade, he turned and exited her office. Then not two seconds after exiting her office he reappeared in the doorway.
"You cooled off yet?" David reentered her office. "As you know we each are living in each other's bodies for the time being." David walked farther into the office, pulling up a chair and plopping down into it.
"No flies on you." Maddie sat down in her chair.
"Anyway I was thinking, being as we are trying to pull it off that we are each other, we should be working in each other's offices." David tugged at the skirt he was wearing.
"I agree. Why, I don't know, but for once you actually have a point. Ok, we'll switch offices. On one condition. No snooping. You respect my privacy, and I'll respect yours. Deal?" Maddie gave him the most serious look her present body owned.
"Deal" David said.
"Okay, shake." Maddie held out his hand to him. He stood and immediately began to shake her body.
"Be serious David." Maddie tried to hide a smile as she once again extended his hand to him.
"Okay." David grasped his hand and then proceeded to take his throne in her chair. He was literally enjoying himself. He was the big boss lady. Ick, lady. He still hated to think of himself as one of those.
Meanwhile, in David's office, Maddie starts looking for case files in his desk drawer. She pulls out a paddle-ball, "x-ray specs" ("You must be wearing a lead dress, I can't see a thing."), a comic book, a Playboy, and other random toys. Then she noticed a piece of paper squished into the corner of the drawer. She reached in and took it out, smoothing out the paper on top of the desk. She was surprised to find it addressed to her, but she kept reading.
Dear Maddie, the note read
I don't know what I'm trying to tell you here, just that I have to tell you. You know me better than anyone. I think you know me better than you know yourself. I've never felt like this before. It really scares me sometimes. And at the same time, it's better than anything I've ever experienced, and I don't know what I'd do without you. You're probably scared too, confused. But I'll tell you something. There is no one in the world that I'd rather be scared and confused with. We can work through this together. Just give us a chance.
Maddie closes her eyes and holds the note to her heart.
In Maddie's office, David was rooting around in her desk drawers, trying to find something of interest. "Doesn't she have anything fun in here?" he thought to himself. "What am I supposed to do all day?" He pulled out a book from under a pile of papers. It was plain, with a simple landscape picture on the front. He opened it up to a random page, and recognized Maddie's proper handwriting. It was obviously a journal, or a diary of some sort. He glanced through several pages, feeling guilty and curious at the same time. An entry from the week before caught his eye as he lay the book out on the desk to read.
Today he stood next to me. I could feel his
breathing on my neck as he turned and faced me. I don't know why I wanted to,
but I wanted to capture his lips and not let them go. Why can't I just let what
we have continue? Why do I keep fighting him? I love him, so much it hurts at
times. When he touches me while we are making love, it's all I can do to keep
from blurting it out. Everyday he walks in here, and everyday I tell him we
need a new pact. I'm so confused. One minute I want nothing more than to lay
contentedly in his arms and the next I want to scold myself for letting it
happen. My biggest fear is that this relationship won't go anywhere and I'll
get my heart broken again. Or even worse, lose my best friend. I don't want to
lose David's friendship. He's always there for me when I need him. What am I
going to do? Should I tell him I love him or not? Should I let this continue?
Deep down I want it to. My heart is telling me not to end it, and my head is
telling me to end it. What should I do?
We can see David behind Maddie's eyes…confusion, caring, and a little bit of hurt was coming to the surface as tears blurred his vision. "Why can't she just talk to me?" was the only thought in his head.
Then we see them simultaneously rise from their chairs behind their desks and proceed towards the door of their offices. Each grabbing the knob and slowly turning it, jerking the door open. At seeing each other they put some speed into their steps and met in the middle of the outer office. Each speaking simultaneously.
"Why can't you tell me how you feel?" David asked, as Maddie spoke at the same time.
"Why didn't you tell me you feel this way?"
"What way?" David asked, confusion present in his voice.
"What do you mean? how I feel?" Maddie asked at the same time as David.
"You first," they both said, pointing to each other.
"No, you," they said together and laughed. David gestured that Maddie should start.
"Why didn't you tell me how you feel? I saw that letter-how come I never got it?"
David paled for a moment. "You saw the letter? You weren't supposed to see that."
"It was addressed to me!"
"So what? It was in MY desk, and you had no right to be looking at my private stuff!"
"Need I remind you that we agreed to try and work in each other's offices while we were stuck like this?" she said sharply.
During this exchange, the staff had been looking back and forth from one to the other, like a game of tennis or ping-pong, but at this last comment, they turned to each other with looks of utter confusion.
"Working is one thing, Maddie, but-what about you, anyway?"
"What about me?"
"You're harping on me about not telling you how I feel, but what about you? Why couldn't you tell me instead of just writing in your diary about it?"
"You read my journal?" she said, seething mad.
"You read my letter!"
"You didn't know I read the letter when you read my journal!! Besides, a journal is very private. I did not notice that addressed to you."
"A letter is just as private. And for the millionth time, I didn't give you the damn letter!"
"Well, you should have!!"
Fire and passion burned in each of their eyes as their lips met. As the kiss ended, they looked at each other.
"Maddie?" asked David, looking at Maddie's body.
"David…I think we're back," Maddie replied, looking at David with relief.
"Let me see," he said with a smirk. He slowly circled her. "Yeah, that's definitely you."
Maddie hugged him again. He put his arm around her shoulders as they walked past Agnes' cubicle and exited the door of the Blue Moon Detective Agency. Agnes and the rest of the Blue Moon staff followed with their eyes, the retreating figures as David and Maddie continued out the door and past the front window, bearing the name of the business they so very proudly worked for. The camera pans out, and the credits begin to roll.