A 'PEANUTS' Christmas Carol

By: Me!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. I only own some socks and a T-shirt. So don't ask me, ask MGM and UFS!

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"Charlie Brown!" shouted Linus, running into the school auditorium.

"What is it, Linus?"

"The PTA wants us to do a Christmas play," Linus announced.

"The PTA!" Charlie Brown exclaimed.

"A Christmas play?!" Lucy asked. "Who do they think they are, anyway?"

"They want us to start choosing a play and casting parts right away," Linus told them.

"How about Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?" Peppermint Patty suggested.

"No way!" Lucy cried out. "The blinking light might ruin my beautiful eyes!"

"A Christmas Carol has always been a good play," Linus said.

"Alright, I guess that'll have to do." Everyone agreed.

"Good, let's start casting," Linus started. "Lucy, you'll be Scrooge…"

"SCROOGE?!" shouted Lucy. "Why do I have to be Scrooge? Are you going to let all this beauty go to waste?!"

"Well," continued Linus, "the PTA said to cast the roles according to personality and--"

SLUG

"And," Linus added shakily, "Charlie Brown will be Bob Cratchit; Snoopy will be Tiny Tim-"

"What?" Lucy exclaimed. "I'm going to be playing opposite a stupid beagle?!"

"Bleah!" Snoopy stuck out his tongue.

"Okay," Linus slowly started again. "Um… 'Pigpen', you'll be the Ghost of Christmas Present; Violet the Ghost of Christmas Past; and Peppermint Patty and Marcie, you two will be the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. Shermie, you'll play Marley; Sally, you can be Mrs. Cratchit. Schroeder, you, of course, will do any background music. I'll find a group to help me with things like scenery and special effects, and everyone else will be extras, like Fezziwig and the other Cratchit children."

Once that was settled, the 'actors' found costumes and rehearsal began.

"We'll start with the scene when the Ghost of Christmas Present comes to haunt Scrooge."

"Oh, Ghost!" exclaimed Lucy. "Why do you come to me so dirty?!"

Linus shook his head. "Cut!! That's not in the script."

"It is now!" Lucy replied, shaking her fist menacingly.

"Okay, let's go on then," Linus gulped nervously.

"Come, and we will go out into the world," 'Pigpen' recited his lines.

A few minutes later, they were up to the part where Tiny Tim was introduced.

"Are you ready, Snoopy?" Charlie Brown asked.

Are you ready? Snoopy thought, looking up at him.

"Alright, places everyone!" Linus called.

"Come on Snoopy, get on my shoulder," instructed Charlie Brown, bending over a little.

Oooooh, this will be nice, thought Snoopy, smiling. He rubbed his paws together, stretched out, bounced a couple of times, and finally climbed up onto the "Round-headed kid's" shoulder.

"Why does he have to make such a big deal out of everything?" Charlie Brown sighed.

"Charlie Brown, try to add a little more bounce to your step!" Linus told him. "You're supposed to be happy and feeling as light as a feather."

But Charlie Brown couldn't act that well and after having gone through that scene five times, was huffing and puffing.

"We'll never be ready," groaned Linus.

The night of the play, the 'PEANUTS' gang was busy memorizing lines at the last minute, adjusting costumes, rehearsing scenes and setting up scenery.

Okay, thought Snoopy. Now what am I supposed to do?

Charlie Brown answered that question. "Snoopy, go and get into your new costume. It's on the desk."

"Please don't ruin your costume this time, Snoopy," Linus pleaded.

Well, Snoopy said to himself, what else could I have used as a substitute supper dish?

So Snoopy put on the little jacket and cap and picked up the tiny cane.

"Snoopy!" Charlie Brown groaned. "You're not supposed to dance in it!!"

Snoopy ignored him and made a couple more tapping noises before taking a bow before an imaginary audience.

"Why can't I have a normal dog like everybody else?" sighed Charlie Brown.

Meanwhile, Marcie and Peppermint Patty were having a little trouble with their 'Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come' costume.

"Sir?" Marcie asked.

"Yes, Marcie?" replied Peppermint Patty. "And stop calling me 'Sir'!"

"Are you sure that the wheels aren't supposed to go on the bottom of your sandals?"

"Of course," Peppermint Patty said exasperatedly. "Why would I put the wheels on the bottom where no one can see them?"

"You have a point there, Sir."

"STOP CALLING ME SIR!!!"

"Yes, Sir."

So they continued putting wheels on the top of Peppermint Patty's sandals.

"What are you doing?" Linus asked.

"Putting the wheels on my sandals," answered Peppermint Patty. "Don't they look great?"

"AAARRRGGGHH!!!" shouted Linus.

Lucy wasn't particularly thrilled with the way her costume was turning out, either.

"This 'wig' looks like a mop without the stick!!" she explained.

"Would you prefer it with the stick?" Linus asked.

WAP

"I am glad I'm not Scrooge," Frieda declared. "That wig would take the curl out of my naturally curly hair!"

Just then a loud KLUNK came from the stage.

"What now?!" groaned Linus running towards the noise.

Violet sat up from her place on the floor. "This thing is impossible! The strings holding me up keep snapping and I end up on the floor!"

"We'll double string it." Linus then called up, "Double-string the Ghost of Christmas Past!"

Shermie walked up to Linus and said, "I lost my script."

"You shouldn't really need it Shermie," Linus told him.

"I was absent the day I was supposed to rehearse my part."

"Oh, yeah," sighed Linus gloomily. He looked around at the mess and asked, "We're supposed to do this play tonight?!"

Everyone nodded sadly.

"We can't let down the PTA!" Sally cried out. "They'll kill us!!"

"They won't kill us Sally," assured Charlie Brown.

Snoopy grinned. It's times like these that I'm glad I'm a dog. I'm protected by the ASPCA!

"C'mon, Snoopy." Linus urged, pushing the beagle slightly forward. "Hurry up."

ANIMAL CRUELTY!! ANIMAL CRUELTY!! Snoopy wailed loudly.

Linus glared at Charlie Brown. "He's your dog, Charlie Brown. DO something about him!"

"Come on, old pal. Let's practice a little more," Charlie Brown said.

Can we rehearse your getting my supper? Snoopy thought. It's Suppertime.

"Oh, here's your supper," added Charlie Brown, as if he had read Snoopy's mind.

Suppertime! It's Suppertime! Oh, it's Suppertime! Sup-sup-sup-Suppertime! Supperti-iiiime! Sung Snoopy, dancing around the room. He finished his little dance and started eating.

"Charlie Brown!" exclaimed Linus. "You don't feed actors just before a performance! He'll get indigestion!"

"Oh, sorry."

Charlie Brown tried to pull away the food, but Snoopy refused to release the dish.

Here's the World War I Flying Ace racing off with the precious medical tools! Snoopy imagined. He must get them to the Medical Headquarters before the enemy captures him!

So Snoopy weaved through the rehearsing actors and didn't stop.

"Snoopy! Come back!" panted Charlie Brown.

He dives for safety in the undergrowth of the forest, thought Snoopy as he leaped into a pile of branches which were to be used as trees in the play.

"Snoopy!" Charlie Brown yelled. "Where are you?"

The Flying Ace dashes off and makes it to a small, quaint, French café. Snoopy rushed towards an upside-down table and sat down. He is greeted cordially by the owner.

Marcie stood next to Snoopy and asked, "Would Monsieur Flying Ace care for a root beer? I have heard much about you. The Red Baron says he will not rest until you are permanently grounded!"

Really? Gulping, Snoopy downed the root beer and left to 'deliver the medical supplies'.

He finally reached his destination. Ah! At last, there is Fort Zinderneuf! I will be given a medal for this!

"There you are, Snoopy!" Charlie Brown picked up the beagle and took him back to where Linus was standing.

"Charlie Brown, you're on," Linus said, indicating the stage.

"Already?!" Charlie Brown exclaimed. "I didn't realize that I took so long!"

Linus glared at Snoopy. "You'd better get ready, too!"

Snoopy saluted and put his cap back on as Linus rolled his eyes.

A while later, everything was running smoothly. (Okay, I lied. Absolutely nothing was running smoothly!)

Charlie Brown had gotten stage fright and was unable to remember any of his lines, Violet now had to walk instead of fly due to weak wires, Lucy's wig had fallen off twice, Snoopy, as Linus had predicted, now had a bad stomach-ache and got shoulder-sick when lifted onto Charlie Brown's shoulder. Shermie forgot his lines, also, and 'Pigpen' had made half the audience sick from all that dust.

So, in general, things weren't going very well.

Linus, while watching the so-called play, was moaning and groaning and coughing from the dust and dirt that 'Pigpen' was covered with.

"As the clock struck three, Scrooge awaited the arrival of the… ummm… Ghost of Christmas… er… Yet to Come. I think…" Patty, the narrator, stuttered.

Peppermint Patty and Marcie slowly made their way across the stage. It would've taken shorter but, as you hopefully remember, Peppermint Patty had attached the wheels to the top instead of the bottom of her sandals.

"Marcie," said Peppermint Patty quietly from under the cloak, "you're kicking my head!"

"Sorry, Sir," whispered Marcie.

"STOP CALLING ME SIR!" shouted Peppermint Patty, swinging her fists in the air.

Marcie lost her balance and fell off Peppermint Patty's shoulders. "Sorry, Sir," Marcie managed to say.

"AAAARRRGGH!" Linus yelled. He groaned and fell over, covering his face.

Linus stood up again and motioned for Peppermint Patty to exit, stage left.

Being Peppermint Patty, she exited stage right.

Linus rushed over and whispered to Peppermint Patty, "Marcie will be the ghost by herself."

"What about me?" Peppermint Patty asked. "I spent two whole hours trying to keep those dorky wheels on my sandals!"

"Dorky?" Linus questioned. "Well, uh… you can be one of the extras that sing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' at the end, then."

"Okay."

The play continued to be a flop. It was even floppier when Peppermint Patty tried to sing.

"We wish yooooouuu a Merry Christmas!" she sang off-key-ly. "We wiiish you a Merry Chriiiistmaaass! Weeee wish you aaaa Meeerrrrrrrryyyyy Christmaaaas! And a Haaappyyy Neeeewww Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr!"

The audience politely clapped. Except for Snoopy. "Boooooooooooooooo!" he said. Everyone glowered at him. Snoopy's face turned red as he slunk away.

"Well, we did it!" Patty exclaimed.

"We did it, alright!" Linus agreed. "Did you see the looks on the PTA's faces?"

"I knew they'd kill us!" Sally exclaimed.

"They won't kill us, Sally." Charlie Brown told her. "I told you that before!"

"Well, I guess we should just be grateful that it wasn't any worse," Franklin commented.

"How could it be any worse?!" Lucy exclaimed. "Next time I'll direct! The play will be great! Rehearsal every afternoon! Dress rehearsals! Good scripts! Dramatic lines! Fantastic…"

"Hey, Chuck?" Peppermint Patty asked. "How come you got stage-fright? I thought that you only got stage-fright when you went to pick up a pizza. Remember that, Chuck?"

"'Chuck?'" Charlie Brown said. "Oh. Well, I… uh…"

"Thanks, Chuck," sighed Peppermint Patty.

"Well, I… uh…"

"Wish me luck, Charlie Brown," Linus moaned.

"Luck? For what?" Charlie Brown questioned.

"The PTA just asked me," Linus groaned again, "to have a little 'talk' with them."

"Oh. Well, good luck."

"Thank you."

You'll need it, thought Snoopy. He stood up and shook Linus's hand as if to say, 'Nice knowing you, kid.'

Linus walked into the hall and knocked gently on the door of the office of the PTA.

Linus gulped as he entered. The PTA immediately began lecturing him on what a disgrace that the play was to the name of Charles Dickens.

When asked what he thought of the play, Linus said, "Ummm… would you like to hear about the Great Pumpkin?"

About an hour later, Linus sulked out of the office, looking mentally and physically exhausted.

"So, what happened?" Lucy demanded.

"We're supposed to put on a New Year's play… and Snoopy's going to direct!"

Everyone screamed and fell over.

"AAAARRRGGH!!!"

Snoopy grinned. Merry Christmas to all, he thought, and to all, a good night!

The End

(Kind of…)