Sorry, people, PVE completed 180 reviews when I was 250 miles away, and when I arrived home, FF.Net was down… Oh, and before I forget, mushy chapter alert!

Potter vs. Evans – Chapter 5 – Stupefying Hate

The greasy haired teenager grinned as she said his name. "Of course it is I. Who were you expecting? Santa Claus?"

Lily turned her face, so he would not see it become red. "No, actually I…" Snape walked towards her, and with a gentle touch on her shoulder, turned her around. They looked at each other, without speaking for a moment. Then she opened her mouth to say, "Was it… you who sent me that poem?"

Snape looked up at her, "Yes, it was. Not just the poem but also the ring, and…" his right hand reached her red hair, "And this lily. Beautiful, isn't it?"

Zillions of thoughts occurred in Lily's head. At the same time, she wanted to laugh, she wanted to cry, she wanted to run, she wanted to stay, she wanted to scream, she wanted to be quiet.

It was weird, to say the least. She had never thought of Snape that way, she had always hated Snape – maybe even more than she hated Potter. Two different kinds of hate.

She hated Potter with a passion she had never ever hated Snape. She hated Potter in a way she wanted him to blush when she spoke, in a way she wanted him to be nervous while speaking to her. But she did not feel repugnance. She felt it with Snape. Being touched by him was like being touched by a snake, a very, very slimy snake. His greasy hair gave her a sensation of dirtiness, while his speech gave her will to puke. She always felt as if she could not be well without being at least half a mile away from him.

She often wanted to be away from James (even though she was getting used to a strange and irresistible desire to be close to him), but it was different, she realized. She wanted to be away from James when she was angry with him – true, it happened very often – but she did not feel nausea whenever she was around him. Her hate for James was a great deal more about anger and jokes than about hatred itself. They always pulled pranks on each other, and she got angry with him very usually, and vice-versa.

She used to pull pranks on Snape too, but she planned the prank and waited from far to see him being fooled. She never felt happy about pulling pranks on Snape as she did with James; she felt a sensation of accomplished duty, joy, but not happiness.

Now, however, she felt somewhat different about Snape. She looked at him as people usually do at poor children. She felt pity. In the same time, she felt an urge to laugh. But that was about Snape's mushiness. She never thought Snape could… you know, write that kind of thing.

Those eyes that resembled black beetles looked at her in concern and in some kind of tenderness (something she had never seen in those eyes until now). Lily answered his last question very quietly "Yeah, it is. I like lilies."

"I know, Lily. I know all about you."

She was absent-minded. Everything passed through her head, and she felt very, very stupid, and she thought it was impossible it could have been James who sent the letter and… it was also impossible it was Snape. "It can't be. It wasn't you!", she muttered.

"Who else would it be? You seemed astonished as you saw me here, who were you expecting… and this time I don't mean Santa Claus."

She blushed. "Well, it could be Sirius, maybe."

Snape rolled his eyes. "And why the hell would your own boyfriend send you a letter declaring himself your secret admirer?"

"And why his worst enemy would?"

"Maybe because this man is helplessly in love with you," he leaned over to kiss her, but she ducked. The air became tense.

"What, Lily?" his slimy voice asked.

"This is wrong, Snape. I'm in love with Sirius", she said. Lily was beginning to get used to it; she had said so for about ten times now and in her time, and it has not been even a day since she first said it.

"Oh, really?", his voice sounded sarcastic, "Then why are you here? If you really were in love with that dirty dog, why would you be here?"

"I said I thought it was Sirius himself."

"You're so smart and sometimes you seem so dumb…"

If there was one thing besides James Potter that could drive Lily crazy was insulting her intelligence. "Fine. I thought it was somebody else but Sirius and… well, and you. I never thought it was you nor did I want it to be you." Her eyes flashed with anger. And so did Snape's eyes as he heard it. But as a Slytherin, he had a strange ability of keeping himself calm when he was very nervous, formerly known as cynicism. "So, who it was?"

"It's none of your business."

But Snape did not answer, he just grabbed her by her shoulders, leaned over and their lips weren't even 10% of an inch apart (Lily was almost puking, but Snape was fairly stronger than her), when…



Lily saw as Severus Snape fell on the floor, motionless. And the strange thing was that… there was not anybody near. She was astonished when she saw James Potter's head, then the rest of his body appear along with a silvery cloak wrinkled around his arms. Her jaw dropped about ten feet. But she was speechless. It was James who spoke first, "Come! He'll arouse in about fifteen minutes!"

He just grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the tower, running, without saying a single word. Her jaw was still dropped, but she pulled her arm back. "Hey!", she protested.


"What THE HELL are you doing here, Potter?"

He laughed mockingly and nervously, "What the hell am I doing here, she asks," he muttered almost to himself, and then raised his voice, "Saving your life, I guess."

Lily had her crossed arms on her chest, and a raised eyebrow, "And who said I did want to be saved?"

Whatever James was expecting from her as a reply, you could tell instantly it was not this. He seemed speechless, even though he opened his mouth and said "So you wanted… you wanted… his slimy hands all over you?"

She felt an urge to say 'of course not', but at the same time, she felt an urge to provoke him. Being Lily, of course, provoking won. "What if I wanted him, what the hell you have to do with this? It's none of your business whose hands I want all over me and…"

"Oh, fine," James said angrily, "You had that weird expression on this face of yours that seemed you had something very disgusting under your nose, and you say you wanted to be kissed by Snape."

"I didn't say I wanted it, I'm just wondering: if I really did want to be kissed by Snape or not, what the hell you have to do with this? Why the hell you followed me?"

"You might consider yourself too important to think I would be here just because of you," he looked away again.

Instead of replying, she just ignored his last statement and said "Why were you following me?"

He glanced at the floor and blushed, and somehow, Lily didn't find it amusing, but terrifying. She was not sure she wanted to hear his answer, yet she knew her heart seemed to be jumping in expectative.

He looked at her again, looking directly into her green eyes. "Are you really, really sure you don't know?"

"I'm not sure," she muttered and find herself surprised by the fact of being able to say anything.

"Evans, I… well, I…"


"I've been thinking…"

"That's a miracle!" she could not help but made this infamous joke. He rolled his eyes and the atmosphere that allowed anything of the romantic sort to be said seemed to be gone. You stupid, stupid piece of shit! Why the hell you had to say this?

Oh, that's nice to hear… now you're very interested in his declaration of love.

Oh, you again?

I'm you yourself, remember?

Whatever you say, but you have legs of yourself, and I just can't control you. You might be that evil side that everybody has that make them do the wrong things.

Wrong things? How about your language? Shit and hell are not polite things to hear!

I didn't know I had an ambulant mother inside my head.

Oh, dear… I'm not your mother, I'm you, but I think a lady can't say rude things.

I'm not saying, I'm just thinking.

Good point.

And about Potter, I was just thinking I should be a little bit more… erm… concerned and be a little bit less bitchy, and hear what he wanted to say.


And before Lily could reply to her subconscious, she was brought back to reality by James, who grabbed her hand again and dragged her to another place… a cupboard, and closed its door behind them.

Before she had the time to yell at him, James, who knew Lily quite too well, put his hand on her mouth. "Mmmmm," she protested and realized they were dangerously close.

"Shhh," he adverted.

And she bit his hand.

"Ouch," he complained in a whisper taking his hand back and shaking it in the air (which was quite little, since they were in a small broom cupboard), and his fingers accidentally touched Lily.

"What are we doing here?," she whispered, aware something was happening and she could not possibly shout.

"When you were out of orb, I heard Snape's footsteps."

"Can… can we go now?", she asked and was aware of the blush in her cheekbones. Lucky her it was dark inside of the cupboard and James could not see it.

"Lily, I wanted to get back to our conversation."

"I don't want to talk to you, Potter. I never did."

"I'm not asking you to say a word, just to listen," he said gravely.

"Could we leave this cubicle first?"

"Snape may be nearby."

"Ok," she said. "And thank you," she whispered, "And sorry. I really shouldn't have snapped to you, you saved me from Snape, after all." She laughed nervously and quickly, "Truce?"

She could not see it, but she felt he was smiling. "Truce," he agreed, "But we can't shake hands here."

"No problem," she said.

"Does truce mean we're friends now?"

Friends, just friends?, she thought to herself and slapped herself a moment later, We can't be friends, we'll be always enemies, no matter what, I can't be closer to James, I just can't; I've got to admit it's dangerous, "It just meanswe won't attempt to kill each other for a while. I still kinda hate you, you know."

"I don't hate you, Lily," he whispered, "Not at all."

His nose was brushing hers due to the minimum space they were occupying. She turned her face, so their lips wouldn't be so close. But she knew her heart was beating way too fast. Adrenaline, she told herself, Snape may be around. My heart beats don't have anything to do with James Potter, you hear it, stupid subconscious? He's a pervert, and even when he was Konstanze's boyfriend, from June to a couple hours ago, he dated other girls. Why the hell would he be different to you? Have you forgotten who he is?

"Erm… James… can't we leave this place now? I guess Snape's gone."

"Do you really want to go?"

But she could not say anything, because James's lips shut her up. She wanted this, she knew she did despite her not admitting it. But she did not expect it. Her first reaction was melting into the kiss, and even though her brain and sense always melted when James kissed her, something in the bottom of her head always screamed out loud to remind her of who she was. And she was Lily Evans, James Potter's enemy. And enemies aren't supposed to kiss.

His eyes were closed, and for a moment, so was hers. But just for a moment. She opened it as soon as her sense screamed, and pushed James. "What do you think you were doing?"

"Do you really need an answer?", he asked slyly and kissed her again.

Even being Lily Evans, her sense was not strong enough to make her resist again, so as she felt his hands walking across her back and stopping around her waist pulling her tighter, and they were so close that not even a sheet of parchment could pass between them. But as soon as Lily's sense woke up and screamed again, she pushed him. And this time, he was slapped.

It is quite funny, but even though the hurt one was James, it was Lily's eyes that melted into tears. But as soon as she felt the warmness of them, she turned around and ran as fast as she could heading to the common room. Behind her, James ran too.


To be continued…


a/n: Jesus! First of all, sorry people, but I traveled and, being 250 miles away from my computer, I couldn't possibly upload it. When I got home, I had 54 e-mails in my Yahoo e-mail account (only fanfic related), and I got the 180 reviews I asked two days after I left home. Since I was 10 days out, you guys are probably hating me (I've got an e-mail in which the girl said "you liar bitch, where are chapter 5?"), but I'm really, really sorry, so I'll write chapter 6 as soon as possible and it can be up in a week, maybe.

I also would like to say, as an answer to a reviewer that I really write for the sake of writing, and I would continue writing Potter vs. Evans even if I didn't get a single review per chapter. But to publish it, I want to know people's opinion :-)

And other thing was that, before I asked those 180 reviews, chapter 4 got only ten or something like this…

Again, sorry both for this chapter mushiness and to the time I took to post it (when I arrived home, FF.Net was down)

The Girl Who Lives