It's the Australian Outback, Charlie Brown!

By: Shannon

NOTE: This is a parody, based on Survivor 2: The Australian Outback. I do not own the characters in the fanfic, nor the rights to the show, Survivor 2. Since I'm going to write EVERY episode of this parody, don't expect it to match exactly to the game show on TV.

A plane flies overhead, carrying 12 passengers, the contestants for Survivor 2: The Australian Outback. Ten kids, one dog, one bird. But there will be only ONE sole survivor. But who will be the sole survivor?

[Theme music starts playing]

The Boys' tribe: Charlie Brown, Linus, Schroeder, Franklin, Snoopy, Woodstock.

The Girls' tribe: Sally, Lucy, Peppermint Patty, Marcie, Frieda, Violet.

The goal of the game: to be the ultimate survivor and win the 1 million dollar prize!

The plane lands on a grassy meadow. The 12 contestants emerge from the plane, carrying their belongings. Two crates are placed before them. They have five minutes to take whatever they need from that crate and carry it to their camp five miles away.

Charlie Brown [holding a compass]: Okay everyone. Our camp is 5 miles south of here. Let's get started going over there.

Franklin: Charlie Brown, let's rest first. This stuff we're carrying is heavy!

Charlie Brown: Franklin, we just got off the plane 5 minutes ago!

Linus: Yeah, we just got off the plane 5 minutes ago. Let's get a move on, men!

Schroeder: But I can't carry the 10 gallon water jug and my piano at the same time.

Franklin: Sorry but that's not my problem, Schroeder. You might have to make some sacrifices.

Schroeder: Yes, you're right Franklin. [He puts down the 10 gallon water jug]. I hate to give up drinking water but without my piano, I won't survive!

The boys sigh heavily.

Linus: Look Schroeder. Face it. You're going to have to get rid of that stupid piano! We need the water jug!

Charlie Brown: Well, I'm not carrying much, just a few pots and pans attached to my backpack and stuff and all I'm holding is this compass. I'll carry the water jug and Schroeder can keep his piano.

Franklin: Charlie Brown, if I were you, I'd take away that stupid piano of his and throw it into the nearby riverbed!

Schroeder: But this game is called Survivor, Franklin. And how can I survive without my piano?

Charlie Brown: All right, all right! Let's stop talking and get moving. We have a long walk ahead of us.

[The girls tribe get organized and prepare for their 5 mile walk to their campsite.]

Lucy: Okay. I AM going to appoint a leader of this tribe!

Marcie: That's a good thing. We need leadership!

Peppermint Patty: You said it, Lucy. We need leadership in this tribe!

Lucy: Yep, and I'm going to appoint a good leader who's dependable and trustworthy!

Frieda: Who is it going to be, Lucy?

Sally: [To herself] Please don't pick me, please don't pick me, please don't pick me....

Violet: [Teasingly] Pick Sally, Lucy! Pick Sally!

Lucy: I have come to a conclusion. I appoint MYSELF to be leader of the tribe!

Peppermint Patty: What? That's not fair.

Lucy: Peppermint Patty, who said life was gonna be fair? Now get a move on, girls! Pack up this stuff and MARCH!

Violet: All right, all right. Look Lucy, just because you're the "appointed leader," doesn't make you our slavedriver. Plus, if you mess up or if you don't live up to OUR expectations of a leader, we have every right to vote you off! Is that clear?

Lucy [Smiling slyly]: Oh, it's definitely clear, Violet.

Violet: Good! Now help us carry these things from the crate.

Lucy [with a sly grin on her face]: Oh, I forgot. I can't do that. I pulled a muscle in my pinky finger. You all would have to carry that stuff yourselves.

The girls said nothing but gave Lucy angry looks and hauled their neccessities like pack mules.

Meanwhile, about 3 miles into the hike to the boys' tribe campsite...

Franklin: Man, I've been marching for 3 miles and my feet are tired!

Linus: Just like everyone else, Franklin. We need to get to the camp by nightfall.

Charlie Brown: And I think we'll be able to do it. We're making good time.

Woodstock: IIII III II IIIIIIII I IIII I I IIIIIIII? IIII I I IIIIII III II II IIIIIII I. [Translation: Can I have some of my birdseed? I'm hungry].

Charlie Brown: No Woodstock. If I gave you birdseed, then I'd have to give food to the rest of the tribe. Besides, we just ate 15 minutes ago. You should consider yourself lucky. You don't have to be carrying these heavy things that we're carrying. The only thing you're carrying is my compass.

Snoopy: Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof bark bark bark!? [Translation: Does that go for me too?]

Charlie Brown: Yes Snoopy, now lets' get a move on. We're making good time and I don't want to slow down just yet.

The boys' tribe finally marched the final 2 miles to their campsite. A blue flag flew on their campsite that said BOYS' TRIBE.

Linus: Woohoo! We're here!

Franklin: Yay!

The tribe members cheered for joy as they dropped their things and cooled down in the nearby river. After more celebration, they set up their shelter, bedding, and a campfire for cooking food and boiling water.

Meanwhile...the girls' tribe was having some difficulty.

Lucy: Okay girls, just one more mile and we're at our camp!

Violet: Lucy, we have been marching almost nonstop for 4 miles. You hardly ever give us breaks. Why don't you try carrying something for a change?

Lucy: Violet, I already told you. I pulled a muscle in my left pinky finger.

Violet: Lucy, I find that hard to believe.

Lucy: How so, Violet?

Violet: Because, if your finger was in so much pain, you wouldn't have been able to climb those rocks about 3 miles back.

Lucy: Uh....well, it wasn't hurting at that time....but it is now! Owww! Oh my finger!

Peppermint Patty: Nice try, "leader," but I'm not buyin' it. Here, why don't you try carrying this 10 lb. water jug for a change?

Peppermint Patty hands Lucy the extremely heavy water jug.

Frieda: Yeah Lucy. See how we feel now?

Lucy [trying to hold the water jug]: Yes....umph! This is....umph....heavy!

The girls managed to make the extra mile to their campsite.

Later that night, the two tribes gathered together for their first immunity challenge. Jeff, Probst, the host, explained the rules.

Jeff: It's good to see you all here. How was the 5 mile march?

Linus: Exhausting. But putting my feet in that river felt good.

Violet: To say that the five mile march was "exhausting," is an understatement. Thanks to Lucy here, we had to haul all our stuff 90% of the way.

Lucy gave Violet a cold stare.

Jeff: Well, I hope you are all rested up because you are going to have your first immunity challenge. As a team, you all are going to swim against the current all the way to the finish line over there. [He pointed to a finish line at the end of a river, with the immunity idol on a table]. The first tribe who gets there, gets immunity and the immunity idol. In addition to that, the tribe will also win a fried chicken dinner. The tribe that does not win will have to salvage for food.

Peppermint Patty: Swimming against a current? That's easy!

Jeff: No, not really. Because you will all be tied to each other. You must get every member of your tribe across the finish line in order to win immunity and a warm meal. If someone is having trouble, you may assist that person. Remember, you must work as a team.

Both tribes were tethered together in a single line and made their way to the starting point.

Jeff: On your mark, get set, GOOOOOO!

Both teams took off like a flash. Peppermint Patty was the first at the line from the girls' tribe, swimming and leading the way. Franklin was at the head of the boys' tribe line. The girls' tribe was well ahead of the boys tribe. Woodstock, who was the second to the last of the line, had trouble swimming through the current. Snoopy, who was at the end of the line, assisted him by carrying him in one arm and swimming with the other.

Just as the girls' tribe was in the home stretch, Lucy had stepped on a sharp rock in the water.

Lucy: Owww! My foot!

Peppermint Patty: Oh, no. We're not falling for that again.

Lucy: No really! I must've hit my foot against a sharp rock! [The girls stopped swimming and Lucy showed them the wound on her foot.]

Frieda: Oh great. We're ahead and this had to happen?

Violet: Well, we're still ahead of the boys' tribe. Let's swim to the shore and find a large leaf to tie around Lucy's foot.

Little did they know that the boys' tribe was catching up. Just as the girls finished bandaging Lucy's foot, the boys' tribe crossed the finish line and grabbed the immunity idol.

Sally: Hey, look you guys! The boys got the immunity idol!

Violet: What!? Oh no! WE LOST IMMUNITY!

Lucy: Sorry I let you down guys.

Violet [In a grumpy tone of voice]: It's all right. You couldn't help it.

Jeff: Well girls, since you lost this challenge....

Sally: Yeah, yeah, I know....TRIBAL COUNCIL.

Charlie Brown: Nice try guys. That was a hard challenge. I hope your foot is okay soon, Lucy.

Lucy: Shut up, Charlie Brown!


Jeff: Well girls. This means that one of you will be leaving the game, right?

Violet: Yes, yes, no need to remind me.

Sally: I hope they don't vote me off.

Jeff: Well, since you got here 3 days ago, what was it like in the outback?

Frieda: It's hard to adjust. I mean, we have to boil the water before we drink it. And it's not like the Survivor Island where there's shade everywhere. Here in the outback, there's not much shade.

Jeff: Okay, you know the drill. Go to the confessional, write down who you're voting off, talk to the camera and say WHY you're voting that person off, and put your vote in the container. Once the votes are tallied, the decision is final. Peppermint Patty, you may go first.

Peppermint Patty: I'm voting off Lucy. She's a horrible leader and since she hurt her foot in challenge, costing us immunity, I don't think she should be with us.

Violet: I think Lucy needs to go. She's too bossy and she won't be any good to us if she stays with her hurt foot.

Marcie: To avoid further injury, I am voting off Lucy. She could get injured badly if she stayed with us.

Frieda: I pick Lucy. She's injured and she makes a pathetic leader.

Lucy [Hobbling on crutches]: It was a hard decision but I think I'll pick Peppermint Patty. She thinks she knows everything and she's too nosy.

Jeff: Okay, we've tallied the results of the votes. One for Peppermint Patty.

Peppermint Patty breaks out in a nervous sweat.

Jeff: One for Lucy.

Lucy breaks out in a nervous sweat.

Jeff: Two for Lucy....three for Lucy....four for Lucy....five for Lucy.....six for Lucy.

Lucy hangs her head

Jeff: Sorry Lucy. Hand me your torch. The tribal council has spoken. [Jeff extinguishes Lucy's torch]


Serves them right. They're gonna be lost without me. If it weren't for this stupid foot of mine, we would've won immunity. Heck, if Peppermint Patty went a little bit slower, I wouldn't have run into that sharp rock! I hope all of them get malaria!

Stay tuned for the next episode of It's the Australian Outback, Charlie Brown!