THE ADVENTURES OF NAKED KAIBA
Isn't this weird? I'm finally, at least a year later, writing the final chapter for this story, because I read it on Her Sweetness's favourite stories list and I read it and I thought "wow, I like that story… hey wait that's mine!" I've forgotten what I had planned so I'm just making it up off the top of my head for the sake of finishing. Hope everyone finds it again and likes it!
It was Saturday. Kaiba had had a very stressful week and he'd barely been to work. But having your worst enemy steal your dress with your naked picture sown into it can be, and is, very stressing.
But Kaiba was going to get his dress back. He just needed a plan, any old plan would do, he knew Joey would fall for anything. So he got onto his computer.
When in doubt, use the computer.
He opened up the internet, and Google, and typed in:
"ugliest man in world"
He was hoping for a picture of Joey, but no such luck. So onto Plan B. One of the websites' descriptions was "pictures of the ugliest man in the world." Satisfied, Seto clicked the link.
It opened a yellow, purple and green web page. It should have been the ugliest web page in the world, but, anyway. Large green letters announced:
THE FOLLOWING IS A PICTURE OF THE UGLIEST MAN IN THE WORLD. PEOPLE WITH A WEAK DISPOSITION/STOMACH/HEART SHOULD LEAVE NOW.
But Seto was tough. He scrolled down and saw… a picture of an old man.
"He's not so ugly," Kaiba said. "Kinda looks like Yugi's grandpa."
There was a description underneath, but Kaiba ignored it. He just copied the picture and saved it in a Paint file. Then he opened a picture of Joey he happened to have on his computer, and after a bit of tampering, Joey looked like the ugliest man in the world.
"Not that he didn't before," Kaiba said. "Wait, why do I have a picture of Joey?"
Seto Kaiba printed out several copies of his ingeniously ingenious picture, and took a little walk…
Kaiba had walked all the way to jail, only to discover Joey wasn't there. Seems he'd never been arrested.
"Not yet anyway," Kaiba warned the police man, and left again.
So now Seto Kaiba headed for Joey Wheeler's actual house.
"Wait, why do I know where Joey lives?" Kaiba wondered. "Am I a stalker?"
That worrying comment aside, Kaiba soon arrived at Joey's place. He rang the doorbell, because he was not some common schmuck who knocks like other common schmucks. However after half an hour he decided the doorbell didn't work, so he knocked on the door huffily.
A few minutes later Joey answered the door. "Kaiba? Whaddya you want?"
"Wheeler… why are you wearing my dress?"
Joey stood before Kaiba, resplendent in a dress of deep plum purple.
"I like dresses…" Joey huffed to himself.
"Well that's MY dress with MY naked… ME on it, and I want it back!" Kaiba snapped.
"Too bad, I like dresses."
"Stop saying that."
"PLEASE HELP ME KAIBA, I LIKE DRESSES!"
"Get off me." Kaiba shoved him away. "It's not in my nature to help you Wheeler. However I'm willing to do you a trade…"
"Really?" Joey was fascinated.
"Yes, you give me my dress, and I will give you……… THIS PICTURE OF YOU WHEN YOU WERE UGLY! Not that you aren't still now," Kaiba added hastily, then held up the picture. "Behold!"
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Joey gasped. "It's hideous! Is that me? I don't remember looking like that! Was I asleep?"
"…Yes Wheeler. But there there. I'll give you every known picture of your ugliness…" Kaiba held up the other pictures. "In exchange for my naked dress."
"DEAL!" Joey ripped off the dress and handed it to Kaiba, who winced.
"I am soooo glad you're wearing boxers right now Wheeler."
Kaiba took his dress and stormed off in a huff, leaving Joey looking at his photos, devastated. "I can never sleep again…" Joey muttered. "I might wake up stuck like this!"
Meanwhile, Kaiba had made it home. He went into his laundry, where Mokuba was putting the washing powder (read: gun powder) into the washing machine.
"Ah, Mokuba, I'm just in time," Kaiba said. "Put this in there." He threw his little brother the dress.
"Okay Seto." Mokuba put it in and pressed the buttons. Kaiba took a step back. "No need to be scared Seto, this machine hasn't acted up in a long time, no way will it explode tod – "
Mokuba stood with a singed face, shocked, watching as the remains of their clothes and washing machine caught fire and burnt down into nothing. Kaiba was amused, however.
"I'm finally rid of that dress."
"But Seto all your other clothes were being washed too!"
Kaiba and Mokuba were standing in the middle of their lounge room. Kaiba was fully dressed, holding a stapler, and parts of his body were shining silver. Hmm…
"Seto, are you sure about this?" Mokuba asked uncertainly. "It seems pretty painful, and dangerous…"
"Mokie, I have thought this over. This is the best way to ensure I am clothed forever. I am stapling these clothes to my body. I've done everything except my boxers." He reached into the front of his pants with the stapler.
"Big brother I'm not sure if that's such a great – "
CLICK! (Stapling sound)
Well that's it! I FINISHED! Go me! Thank you, thank you. I can sleep easy tonight. Thanks again!