Spin the bottle, anyone?

By: The Dunderheads in the shape of blocks (MajorSam and the Psychotic Dolphin who lives in the House of the Goat)

Summary: A party at the President's house, one too many drinks, and a game of truth-or-dare spin the bottle.

Category: Sam/Jack, Humour

Warnings: Er… adult…situations?

Rating: PG-13

Season: 7!!! Right after Chimera, I guess… sometime around there at least!

Spoilers: Chimera

Disclaimer: Noneof it's ours! 'Cept the ridiculous story of course…rollseyes

Author's Notes: Ok, this is something completely ridiculous, thought up of in the middle of the ocean, while we were trying to get all the sand out of our bathing suits! The first installment of the "Skeery Deery" series!

Any an All feedback welcome, Flames will be used to bake cakes!

It all started out so innocently. Almost unnaturally simple compared to the way things usually go for us. Me and my team went to a planet, found some new technology, brought it back, figured out how to use it, and by doing so making the President really happy. Even got ourselves a nice little party invitation. Since I couldn't think of an excuse for me going to Washington all of a sudden, I invited Pete to come along with me. He was thrilled. Sometimes I think he's maybe a bit… shall we say, over zealous? Well, that zealousness was sure shot down...

"Man this is boring!" whispered Jack O'Neill to Daniel Jackson, who was sitting at his side.

"Tell me about it!" Daniel whispered back.


"Ya… why are you so surprised?"

"I thought you liked these things…"

"Are you kidding?"


"I hate these dinner party thing! I'd way rather be back at the SGC studying that amazing new artifact SG-7 brought back!"

"You would," Jack groaned, rolling his eyes.

"I want to do something."

"Like what?"

"I dunno, something… something different."


"Yeah, something that we wouldn't normally do."



"That's good enough for me!"

"Hey guys, watcha talking about?" whispered Sam, from the couch across Jack.

"We're bored."

"Same here! What about you guys?" she asked, glancing over at Pete, and Teal'c, who was sitting silently and motionlessly beside Pete.

"Why would you want to leave this, this is the President!"

"I myself am lacking enthusiasm for participating in this event."

"Why don't we just…leave?" Suggested Sam, "No one going to miss us."

Sg-1 looked around, and found the Major was right. There were a lot of people in the lounge room they were in, and they were all wrapped up in whatever conversations they were in. Even though Sg-1 were supposedly the special guests of the night, all of the politicians and whoever else was there were busy trying to suck up to the President.

"I'm all for it!" said Janet Frasier, speaking up for the first time.

"Than I am too!" said Daniel, smiling at her. Jack rolled his eyes at the pair. "Me too," he said.

"Pete?" asked Sam.

"I don't know, Sam… I mean, this is a once in a lifetime thing!"

"Please?" she softly asked again, gently touching his hand, and looking into his eyes.

"Ok," he said immedietely.

Jack snorted into his wine glass, and Sam glared at him. He cleared his throat.

"Ok, lets go," he commanded, "Meet up outside the bathroom on the second floor."

"Which one?" asked Daniel.

"The first one!" replied Jack.

"We should probably go at intervals, just incase someone is watching us," said Sam.

"Good idea!" said Jack, nodding at everyone to make sure they knew to do that.

25 minutes later, Sam, Jack, Pete, Teal'c, Daniel and Janet were standing in front of the first bathroom on the second floor. Of all people, Teal'c, had somehow smuggled several bottles of various types of alcohol from somewhere in the house. He stated that he did not want any, but that he thought the others would appreciate it.

"Ok, so where do we want to go now?" inquired Janet, looking around at everyone. Sam and Jack looked excited, Daniel was staring at her, Pete looked a little uncomfortable, and Teal'c looked amused.

"I say we find an empty room somewhere, and go from there," said Jack. Everyone agreed. 10 minutes later, they were sitting in an empty room, with glasses of champagne. They had managed to get champagne flutes and shot glasses from one of the numerous alcohol cabinets around the house.

"…and then he says to me, "No way baby, that's for my sister!" said Sam. Everyone but Teal'c burst into laughter. Pete not as much as the others. He was more uncomfortable than the rest of them hearing about Sam's past boyfriends. He was also kind of jealous how they all had heard numerous stories about them. He envied their friendship, trust, knowledge, and respect they all had of each other. The kind of thing that only years of being together through unimaginable things could bring. He did laugh a lot, though. He, like the others, was getting quite tipsy.

"Hey, Carter, lets have a contest!" said Jack.

"What kind?"

"What do ya think!?" said Jack, waving two shot glasses in front of her face.

"I believe that would be unwise, O'Neill…" cautioned Teal'c. But his warning was drowned out by the cheering of everyone else. He decided that although consuming so much alcohol might be unwise, this could be a unique opportunity to observe a new kind of human behavior. He had seen Major Carter drunk before that one time on P3X-595, but that had been a unique circumstance, with a foreign alien beverage.

"Too bad we don't have any salt or lemons…" said Daniel. Janet gave him a devilish grin, and nodded at Teal'c. Daniel looked over at Teal'c with a questioning grin, which turned into a full out ear to ear smile when the Jaffa produced a salt-shaker and a container full of sliced lemons. Sam, Jack, and Pete stared in amazement.

"Ok then, let's do this," said Sam, cracking her knuckles.

Just 5 shots of Tequila later, Sam and Jack weren't even able to pour the shots properly.

"This is soooo weird," Sam laughed, "I can usually hold so much more than this!"

"Sam, honey, look around!" said Janet. Sam looked at the floor in wonder. An empty Tequila bottle, 3 empty champagne bottles and a many empty beer cans were strewn about, as well as more that hadn't been consumed yet.

"When did we have all that champagne?" she asked.

"I don't know," said Daniel giddily, as he had the last gulp from another champagne bottle.

"Ok Danny boy, that's enough for you!" said Jack, taking the bottle away from him. "You've always been the cheapest drunk I know!" Janet and Sam giggled at Daniel's indignant, but flushed, face. Pete was wondering how this man could have the ability to speak 23 different languages, be a brilliant archeologist and travel to other worlds, all the while saving the planet when he couldn't even hold 3 glasses of champagne.

"Hey! I have a great idea!" cried Janet, "Let's play truth or dare spin the bottle!"

"What is 'truth or dare spin the bottle'?" inquired Teal'c.

"It's a game, you spin a bottle, and the person the bottle's pointing to when it stops gets to ask someone a question, or dare them to do something. The person asked gets to choose which."

Teal'c just raised his eyebrow.

"Ya!" squealed Sam. Pete grinned widely. Sam could be really secretive and unwilling to really let loose, so this was really exciting to him. Jack grinned with a devilish light in his eyes, and Daniel giggled.

Janet spun the bottle, and it landed on Pete.

"Sam, truth or dare!" he said, right away.

"Um… dare!"

"I dare you to kiss me!" he said happily. She giggled, and leaned in to give him a very long and passionate kiss. Jack's glare at them did not go unnoticed by Teal'c Daniel and Janet. When the two finally broke apart, Pete spun the bottle. It landed on Teal'c. The thoughts running through the group's heads were not dissimilar. A Jaffa, playing truth or dare, with a bunch of drunk humans…

"O'Neill, truth or dare," said Teal'c, stoically.

"Dare!" said Jack, disappointed that Teal'c chose him. The large man would probably never dare him to kiss Carter…

"I dare you to accompany Major Carter in skinny dipping in the backyard pool," said the Jaffa.


Jack and Sam's jaws dropped. Daniel and Janet started rolling on the floor laughing, and Pete actually squeaked out loud.

After their initial shock, Sam and Jack looked over at each other, and stared dumbly. After a minute, their mouths started curling upwards at the edges.

"Lets go!" they said, in unison.

Pete squeaked again.

Just 5 minutes later, Sam and Jack were standing at the edge of the huge pool in the backyard of the elaborate mansion. Sam wore only a stolen towel, wrapped around her like a dress, and Jack wore his like a kilt. Daniel and Janet were still trying to stifle their laughter, while Pete was in shock, and Teal'c stood with a grin that could only be called smug.

"Ok, let's do this!" said Jack. He walked down the stairs into the pool until the water went above his waist, then he unwrapped the now wet towel, and flung it onto the poolside, much to the cheering of Sam and Janet. He swam further into the pool, and turned, waiting for Sam. She waited until she was up to her neck in water to shed her towel, much to the cheering of the males. Minus Teal'c of course, who continued to stand smugly.

Sam and Jack silently thanked God that the water distorted their bodies somewhat. But due to the alcohol, they didn't think to try and cover anything further. They swam around laughing and splashing each other, to the audience of their team mates and Pete. Suddenly Daniel and Janet gasped, and Pete looked like he was about to die.

"Guys… what's wrong…?" asked Jack. A feeling of dread started to twist around his stomach. He turned slowly, as did Sam.


Oooooh shit…