Summary: Now grown, mature and in college, Stan and Kyle face a real threat to their relationship: Sheila Broflovski. Faith, loyalty and honor can all be broken by words, and a very angry mother.
Authors Notes: Due to demand, and a plot bunny I've picked the fandom of South Park back up. This is sort of a companion piece to "I Do" It's dealing with the same issues, merely evolved a bit. I would advise you to read it, but it isn't necessary. And while this was supposed to be a nice one-shot, it became so much more. So I've been forced to break the story into chapters.
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I probably don't own it.
Warning: This contains slash, and any grammar mistakes I make but don't catch.
Chapter One: Sheila Broflovski
It was very early one morning in early December when the phone awoke both Kyle Broflovski and Stanley Marsh. The sunlight was only beginning to stream into their bedroom, and the birds in the outside tree had just begun their morning calls. It was a Monday morning in Colorado.
The first few rings of the phone went unattended. Both men slept on, blissfully unaware of the nagging that was soon to come. The ringer was purposely set on the lowest volume level, and such an acted prompted them to sleep through the beginning.
However by the fourth ring Stan's eyes were beginning to open. Lazily he kicked around under the blankets, drawing his arm back from where it had been resting over his companion's shoulders. He groaned, rubbing some sleep from his eyes, sitting up halfway.
"Hey, This is Stan and Kyle" Their answering machine began in Stan's voice. "We're not in right now. We're probably in class, or working or having se--" The familiar sound of Kyle smacking him in the head sounded through the small bedroom. "We're busy. Leave your name and message and we'll get back to you."
"Kyle! Stanly! You pick up this phone right now! I know you're there!"
Stan slammed forward, diving for the phone. In his effort to reach the phone he became tangled in the sheets and blankets, falling off the bed, and taking everything with him. Behind him Kyle blinked slowly, rolling over to look at his boyfriend. "Whatcha doing?"
Stan waved him off, grabbing the phone off the receiver. "Hello, Mrs. Broflovski."
Kyle grumbled unhappily and rolled back to his side of the bed, grabbing the blankets off the floor. He wondered if he could block his mother out. Maybe pulling the blankets over his head and closing his eyes would actually accomplish something.
"Yes, yes, classes are fine, yes, I will." Balancing the phone between his ear and shoulder Stan managed to find his way back up onto the bed. He glanced at the clock and groaned at the time. Kyle's mother had no sense of respect for the sleeping. "Yes, he's right here next to me."
With a quick yank Stan had pulled himself under the sheets and blankets, while throwing the cordless phone at Kyle. He closed his eyes, attempting to relax himself after talking with the frightening woman. Of course his partner's distress drew him out of his shell and he leaned towards Kyle on one hand to listen to the conversation.
"Do you have any idea how early it is?" Kyle asked his mother, flopping his head back down on the pillow. "This is the one day I don't have an early class or work." He sighed. "Stan and I were just sleeping. What can I do for you?"
"Kyle, what have I told you about--" The choppy voice came back. Kyle didn't need her to finish the sentence before he knew exactly what she was getting at.
"We've been over this a million times, mom."
"I can't help but worry." Kyle shot Stan an annoyed look. She was tapping into her concerned voice. "Boys these days will take advantage of you if you aren't careful. You and Stanley shouldn't be sharing an apartment, let alone a bed."
Kyle settled back against Stan's chest, allowing his body to mold against the bed once again. "Don't even start with that, mom. I've known Stan since Kindergarten, and so have you. If anyone is going to be taking advantage of someone it'll be me." Stan laughed loudly and Kyle elbowed him, knowing full well his mother could hear it.
"Kyle!" He ripped the phone away from his ear, eardrums ringing from the screech.
"Mom, Stan and I are very much committed. We're living together for a reason. We're completely monogamous, and you have nothing to worry about."
"Darling, if you ever come to your senses, I know a lot of nice Jewish boys. They won't take advantage of you, and they all go to nice schools. They'll treat you with respect."
Kyle coughed. "Mother, don't. Just don't even go there. I love Stan. We're faithful to each other, and have a sense of mutual respect. Stan and I have a very healthy relationship, and I don't need any other men."
But of course his words provided his mother with no reassurance. "You'd better be careful. I hope you're using condoms! Do you need any? I can get you some."
"Oh, Mom!" He dropped the phone, trying to hide his face.
"Gross, dude!" Stan remarked from behind him, making rather loud gagging sounds. "That's just so wrong, Kyle! Make her stop!"
Kyle rolled his eyes, picking the phone back up. He gave his boyfriend a rather harsh glare. "You're an adult now, Stan, how about you try an act like one."
"Sure, as soon as she stops offering me condoms. I find it a little hard to comprehend she doesn't have a problem we me screwing her little boy so long as we use condoms, but we can't live together or share a bed. I can screw you in the school bathroom, just not in our apartment?"
"Stan!" Kyle tried desperately to cover the mouth piece of the phone, but it was apparent his mother had heard and was yelling something to her husband. "See what you've done now!"
Stan merely blew air at him. "What's she gonna do? Drive all the way out here?"
Kyle raised an eyebrow.
He placed the phone back up to his ear, recognizing his brother's voice. "Ike? What happened to mom?"
There was pause on the other line. "Dad's trying to …. calm her down."
"Sorry about that," Kyle apologized, knowing how much his brother would have to put up with over the next few weeks. "Do you know what she called about?"
Realizing he wouldn't be getting back to sleep, Kyle dumped their blankets over Stan's head and rose from the bed. He was slipping his robe on as his brother responded.
"She wanted you and Stan to come down for Chanukah. Well, I'm sure she wanted Stan before…. yeah, and then Stan's mom wants you to stay with them for Christmas. Can you miss finals and get here for some of Chanukah?"
Kyle moved quickly through the hallway an down to the kitchen where he turned the coffee machine on. "Probably not. But I can try and swing some finals around. Maybe if I work something out with a professor I can leave early for the last couple of days. Will you tell mom that?"
He cracked the front door open, scampering out to grab the morning paper.
"Sure. Say, Kyle, what set her off? She looks ready to kill."
Kyle shook his head softly, very annoyed at his boyfriend. "I'd rather not get back into that. Just tell mom what I said and I'll call her later. Bye, Ike."
He tossed the phone down on the table and reached into the cabinet for a few mugs as Stan came into the room. "What'd she want?" He asked, taking his mug from Kyle's outstretched hand. Then he added, "I didn't get you into too much trouble, did I?"
Kyle shrugged. "Not the end of the world."
Stan knew better. "She'll bring it up for the next year or so."
"She's been doing that all my life." True. His mother still hadn't let his choice of college go. She had wanted him to attend Yale, or Harvard, not to mention Princeton, Brown or any other Ivy League school. She had even been willing to settle on Berkeley, but alas, Kyle had chose to stay closer to Stan and attend a Colorado University. And as the morning phone call proved, she had never really let go of his living with Stan. His mother had a tendency to latch onto things, and pout for years if she didn't get her way. It was just the type of person she was.
"She just wanted us to come up for Chanukah and Christmas."
Stan perched next to him, eyeing the coffeepot, nearly done. "You told her no, right?"
"You nearly gave her a heart attack. I told Ike maybe."
The coffee pot beeped and he jumped up. "Why'd you do that? I thought we already agree what to do this year."
Kyle held out his own mug for coffee. "I know, I know. Maybe if the call had gone differently this morning. Dude, I have to go now. My mom's going to go through a bunch of cycles if I don't, starting with guilt and ending with violence. Don't think she won't haul me down there personally." The Jewish male retrieved milk from the refrigerator, and sugar from the cabinet. "We have to go down there and spend time with our families."
"No we don't." Stan drew closer to Kyle, soaking in his body heat. "We agreed earlier this year we'd spend it alone. I don't want to deal with all the crap our families bring with them. Last year was an absolute disaster. Between your family nearly chewing through me for not being Jewish, and your mother interrogating me, to my family accidentally poisoning us. We don't need a repeat of last year."
"It wasn't that bad, right?"
Stan stole the sports section of the newspaper and sat properly in a chair. "Your mother threatened to castrate me."
Kyle chuckled nervously. "She'd just found out we'd been--"
"Been what, Kyle? Dating, living together, fucking?"
"Fuck off." Kyle flashed him his middle finger. "You were damn rude to interject that little fact right in the middle of dinner. It showed less tact than I'd seen in a long time."
Stan flipped past the baseball section, noting the Rockies had lost again. "It wasn't my fault you were a little pussy and couldn't tell her."
"And what the hell was I supposed to tell her? 'Gee, mom, guess what? You know Stan and I have been dating for a while, right? Well, now we're screwing like bunnies in heat. Have some more mashed potatoes.'"
On his way out of the kitchen Kyle swiped a large section of the newspaper and smacked Stan in the back of the head. "It isn't my fault my mother has high morals for herself and her family. She won't get off either of us unless one of us moves out or we get married."
"Never mind that isn't legal."
Kyle read through the business section of the news paper. "She doesn't care about that."
"Then tell me what to do." Stan frowned, resting his chin on his palm. "Every time she calls she causes crap for us. She's your mother, but she driving the both of us insane. That's the main reason we decided to stay away from South Park this year."
Kyle finished his section quietly, and drank the last of his coffee. Without saying anything else to Stan he quickly exited the room. He showed, dressed quickly, brushed his teeth and was ready to go into work early. His hair took a short while to style before he slammed a hat down over his head. One glance in the mirror told him his appearance was acceptable.
"I'm heading into work early," He called on his way to the front door.
Stan was blocking the front door. "Are you really?" He asked coldly. Kyle noticed he was clutching a pack of cigarettes in his right hand.
Neither Kyle or Stan smoked, and Kyle understood exactly what Stan was insinuating.
"What's with the lack of trust, dude. That's so not cool."
"What am I supposed to think? We're fighting all the time, you're spending all your free time at work and we only know so many people who smoke this brand and have a history with you. Not to mention your mom is calling more frequently, bugging you to dump me. What I think is perfectly natural."
Kyle pressed his lips into a thin line. "You idiot." He draped his scarf around his next and slipped his hands into his gloves. "You're a total idiot, Stanley Marsh. You're the biggest idiot I know if you believe I'd cheat on you. And for your information Kenny was over here yesterday while you were in class. He came by to hang because he and Cindy got into another fight. I took his cigarettes from him because he was chain-smoking."
Stan crossed his arms but moved to the side. Kyle passed by him, refusing his boyfriend his regular morning kiss. "Stan, I don't know where this recent lack of trust is coming from, nor do I know how many times I have to tell you I'm not interested in Christophe."
"He's certainly interested in you."
"That's just too bad for him." Kyle yanked the door open, flooding the apartment with cold. "I didn't bitch to you when Wendy followed us to this College, and I certainly don't fuss when the cheerleaders drool over you. I've got self-esteem and confidence in our relationship. This is something you obviously don't have, and I suggest you find it by the time I get home."
The door slammed and Stan huffed unhappily.
Kyle's mother always managed to plant a seed doubt in Kyle's mind. She always fucked things up for them.
Stan stormed off to get ready for his classes.