A series of unfortunate 'sexual' events

Hello peeps this is my first Humour fanfiction so if it's not that funny oh well that's my fault.

Every Chapter will be a different pairing and if you want a specific paring then say so but it won't be a love relationship e.g. Yugi/Yami so read on to find out more.

All I really have to say is to read my story and review at the end of it if you would be so kind. -

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! (damn) Kazuki Takahashi does (Lucky Guy)

Please Enjoy and Review!




speech: Grandpa speaking

speech: Yami speaking

speech: Yugi speaking

Chapter one: Yugi and Yami

It was a perfect sunny day in the city of Domino as birds glided across the painted blue sky whilst swings swung gently as no sounds of excited kids echoed across the park.

It's always been that way these days. The fresh outdoors would beckon young innocent children (A.n: Innocent Kids? What a load of rubbish!) but yet they didn't heed the call, instead they would spend all day cooped up inside playing their game consoles or enjoying themselves in the latest craze of the week.

Thanks to all these modern technologies the great outdoors was becoming more desolate

and deserted then nature intended it to be.

That is how it is and how it will be for the rest of eternity.

The streets were deserted as a short, old man walked slowly down the road carrying numerous amounts of shopping bags in his wrinkly old hands. He continued to trudge down the empty streets as he stopped outside a shop on the corner of the road. He stopped outside the shop and placed his shopping bags down whilst rummaging his pockets for the keys. A smile danced across his face as he found the desired item and placed it in the shop keyhole.

The shop door creaked open as the old man walked inside placing the bags onto the cold floor, flicking the light switch on in the process.

He ran his hands through his spiky grey hair whilst a sigh escaped his lips. He glanced up the stairs as he said to himself "Wonder where the boys are?" he sighed as he continued "Why are they cooped up indoors on such a lovely day?"

He started to walk up the stairs whilst calling his grandson and his yami.

"Yugi? Yami? Were are you boys? Why aren't you outside playing?"

He continued to tread up the stairs passing pictures of a young, short boy with spiky tri-coloured hair, this of course was his grandson Yugi. He sighed as he passed the picture followed by another picture of a slightly taller tri-coloured haired boy with a dollop of ice cream dripping fro his nose. Crimson eyes staring with darkness and anger, but protection as well. This was his grandson's guardian, Yami.

He continued up the stairs until he was outside a red door covered with images of Duel Monsters in many positions.

Grandpa Muto was about to knock on the door until he heard muffling coming from the boy's bedroom. He placed his ear against the door and listened intently with suspicion.

And so the eavesdropping began...

Inside Yugi and Yami's bedroom

"Yami? I'm bored!!!"

"Well I can entertain you Little One."

"Really Yami?"

"Yes Yugi. Look down here I have something to show you."

"Oh Ra Yami! That certainly is a big one!"

"I know Yugi. Isn't it just massive!"

"It's OK I guess Yami, but please you have to move it or something because I don't like them there doing nothing!"

"No Yugi!?! Look it's just moved by itself!"

"Your right Yami! I wonder why it moved though?"

"Must of seen you I guess Yugi."

"Well you have to move it because it can't stay there Yami."

"I know where I can put it Yugi! Right there!"

"You mean right here Yami?"

"Yep. That's the spot Yugi!"

"Yami! It's moved again!"

"Oh? I know! Grab that pot over there Yugi."

"You mean this pot here Yami?"

"Right again my little light."

"Erm Yami? What are you going to do with it?"

"This Yugi!!!"

A loud bang was heard as a hiss was heard from the bedroom. Grandpa's eyes widened in shock as he continued to listen.

"Oww! That seems painful Yami!"

"I know Yugi!?! But I like it like that! You know Yugi, nice and hard."

"I guess you have a point there Yami."

"Hey Yugi? Hold still a minute."

Another thud and bump was heard as more screams cries of enjoyment escaped the bedroom.

"Go Yami!!! Harder! Harder!"

More and more noises emitted from the bedroom as Grandpa's eyes seemed like they were going to bulge out of his eyes with shock.

"Hey it's too fast!!! Yugi help here!"

"Then you go faster too Yami!!! Faster I say Pharaoh! Faster!"

One last thud was heard as the noises started to calm down as quick breaths escaped the room.

"Yami what happened?"

"Lets just say it's now soft and squidgy instead of hard, Yugi."

"Damn!?! Well it was fun whilst it lasted hey Yami?"

The bedroom door flung open as Grandpa came in screaming "YUGI! YAMI! WHAT ARE YOU BOYS UP TO!?!"

The said boys untangled themselves from each other as they blinked in unison in confusion.

"What are you talking about Grandpa?" asked the naive young short boy.

A smile danced across Yami's face as he smiled at his lights naive ness.

"I think I understand Yugi." he said whilst looking at the young boy. "Yugi's Grandpa follow me over here I have something to show you."

Grandpa agreed to the gesture from the Pharaoh and followed him towards the wall. Once there the old man realised that a pot was stuck to the wall.

Yami slowly lifted off the pot as a black smear with eight legs appeared underneath.

A spider had been brutally beaten to a soft pulp on the wall and was the cause of Yami and Yugi's cries.

Grandpa smiled in embarrassment whilst looking at Yami "I have made a HUGE mistake! Erm I best be leaving you boys alone" he said as he left the bedroom.

A chuckle came out of Yami's mouth at the statement. Yugi looked up at him wondering what was going on. Yami lowered down towards Yugi's ear and whispered something making Yugi's cheeks go red.

"Grandpa!!! You are such a Pervert!!!"

(End of chapter)

There you go the end of Chapter One so if you review I will update.

Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes because I did this late at night. Thanks again.