Summary: Four days of Josh going insane with desire for Donna.
Author's notes: This was my second fic ever, but I was pretty happy with the outcome.
I think my assistant has lost her mind. See, I can watch Donna at her desk from my desk if I open my door all the way, turn my chair to just the right angle and lean back in it as far as it goes, and then squint. Not that I do that on a regular basis or anything, but I happen to be doing it now, so I know. She has lost her mind. She keeps looking at her face in her make-up mirror thingy. Not only that, but each time, she gets her make-up mirror thingy out of her purse, looks at her face in it, and then puts it back in her purse. This concerns me for two reasons. First of all, what is she looking at in that thing? Second, why does she keep putting it away? If she's going to continue to look at herself every minute or two, why doesn't she just keep it out on her desk? Women…
So anyway, I've been watching her for going on 45 minutes, I've got to know what the deal is. What? 45 minutes isn't all that long to lean all the way back in a chair and squint. Plus, I took a brief phone call sometime in there. I know, you're concerned that your tax dollars aren't being put to good use, don't worry, Toby's working really hard today.
I can't take it anymore. "Donna!"
Nothing, she's not answering, because she's looking in the make-up mirror thingy again. Why do I keep saying 'thingy'? That's not a word. "Donna!" Oh good, here she comes.
"Yes Josh, what can I do for you on this glorious day?" Oh no, she's in a good mood. Too good of a mood. Is it her birthday? Did I miss her birthday? No, that was two months ago. Does she have a date, is that why she's so happy? Did she have a date last night? Did she get lucky? I'll kill the bastard.
"…a day like this." What. Oh no, she's talking. What did she say?
"What did you say?"
"I said you just can't beat a day like this. It's beautiful out today." She's got that smile that makes her look like she's about ten. I love that smile.
I look out my window. "Donna, it's raining outside. Like hurricane raining. What's up with you?"
"I happen to like the rain Joshua. It's…romantic." She did have a date last night.
"Did you have sex last night?" Oops, did I say sex. I meant to say date. Uh oh, her eyes just bugged right out of her head. Maybe, as her boss, I shouldn't have asked that. Is that bad? I'm just going to look at this file in my hand so I don't have to look at her.
"Josh!!!! I can't believe you said that. And for your information, I can be in a good mood without the high of great sex."
Great sex? My head just popped right back up. "Who said anything about great sex?"
"Well, if it were bad sex, I wouldn't be in a good mood," she says in her 'duh' voice.
Ok, now I'm confused. "Wait a minute, you just said you could be in a good mood without the high of great sex."
"Josh, a woman can be in a good mood after no sex or after great sex, but not after bad sex. Don't you know anything?" Is that true? Cause I don't think that's the case with men. Good, bad, ugly. As long as we get sex, we're in a good mood.
"So, it was great sex then?" Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.
"What are you talking about Josh, I didn't have sex last night. We worked until 3am. I then went home and was back here at ten. When was I supposed to have time for sex, good or bad?" I can't help but look back down at the file I'm holding and smile at this. I know it's wrong, but I like to keep Donna here at all hours of the night. And, although I'd never admit it, that's why. So she doesn't have time for sex.
Wait a minute. I just missed something. I look back up at her again. "What time did you get here today?"
She's looking at me like I'm nuts. "Ten Josh. Didn't you notice that for the first three hours you were here I wasn't?"
"No, my meeting with Leo on welfare lasted most of the morning. I didn't get out of there till 9:30am. You weren't here that whole time?" She shakes her head. "Where were you?"
"Don't you ever listen to me Josh? I had a dentist appointment this morning."
"Right, I remember, the dentist." I don't remember that at all. She's in a good mood after a dentist appointment? I don't get it. And why is she looking at me like that?
"Josh, what did you want?" Hmm, what did I want? Her, I want her. What's she talking about? Did I want something? Oh, I called her in here. What did I want? I can't remember. Ah yes, the make-up mirror thingy. Thing.
"I just wondered… I mean… well you were out there…" How can I ask this question? I'm going to look like a stalker. I better look back down at this file. What's in this file, anyway?
"So, my dentist gave me a new toothbrush today." Did she just switch topics? That's typical.
"Donna," I say, still pretending to look at the file. "Dentists always give their patients new toothbrushes. I get floss too." I bet she doesn't get floss.
"Josh, are you trying to one-up me on dentist gifts?" Of course.
"Of course not!" She rolled her eyes at me. How does she know me so well?
"Well good, cause you'd lose. This toothbrush is awesome! It's electric, and it doesn't rotate back and forth, it spins all the way around. That's supposed to be good, although I don't know why. Anyway, it has two brush heads. One flat one, and one pointy one to get down by the gums and in between your teeth. I brushed my teeth with it when I got here, and my mouth has never felt cleaner. It's amazing."
"Is that why you keep looking at your self in your make-up mirror thingy?" Did I just say that out loud? Crap.
"Make-up mirror thingy? It's called a compact, Josh. Anyway, how do you know…" Uh oh, now she's walking around to where my chair is and looking out towards her desk. "Josh, how do you know I was looking in my compact mirror?"
How do I know that? How do I know that? Crap, how do I know that?????? "I, uh, saw you when I went to get a cup of coffee. Is that why you keep looking at yourself? Cause I thought maybe you had a pimple or something." Smooth Lyman.
"Josh, I have a very good complexion." Yes I know. What, she does. She has a beautiful face. "And no, that's not what I was looking at. I had my teeth whitened today." I look up at her and her bright white smile. Damn, she's beautiful. Oh, I already said that, didn't I?
Play it cool. "Why did you have your teeth whitened? Hot date tonight?" Please say no. Please say no. Please say no.
"No, I wish. I can't wait to get good and kissed with my white teeth and my clean mouth. The next guy I kiss isn't going to be able to get enough." What did she just say? Is she trying to kill me? Did she just… Close your mouth Josh. Close your mouth. Close it. She's looking at me like I've lost it. "Are you ok Josh?" I've never wanted to kiss her more than I do right now.
I grip on to the sides of my chair so I don't leap out of it push her against the door she's standing by and… "Uh, yeah, I'm fine." I hate your dentist, and I've never wanted to kiss you more than I do right now, but I'm fine.
"Ok, I'm gonna go, you know, govern." With that, she turns around to leave and I lower my head to my desk and begin lightly pounding it repeatedly. "Josh?" Oh crap, she's back.
"Didn't you call me in here for something? What do you want?"
To push you against that door and kiss you with everything I am. "Oh…I just wondered if I had any meetings scheduled this afternoon."
"You've got Toby and Senator Williams in the Roosevelt room in 20 minutes. And don't forget to take that file your holding." And with that she smiles and she's gone, leaving me here to continue pounding my head against my desk. Maybe I'm the one losing my mind.